it's unbecoming of knight
"Stop it, sir Raul." I said with an expression of indifference to agitate his emotions. "It's unbecoming."
Eastern · din_hamine
this doesn't even make sense you cut the car part of a file I mean he has already cut on that hand or you cut that hand if you don't make your words so that they can make some sense then you are not doing your editing properly you are not even editing it if even if somebody tells you your mistakes
Then, I moved my sword leisurely and cut towards his arm.
Eastern · din_hamine
I think you are forgetting one thing he is leaving in a medieval world and they don't know anything other than using the full name of their lineage at that time like big brother not a big Bro and their house name with it if you are talking to somebody else or the most hated person so don't forget that don't make anything short in your story mom dad nobody calls them that at that
"Big bro, can I enter with you when father calls you?"
Eastern · din_hamine
I mean your story has some uncommon common sense, small words are mistaken a lot , can i come in or can i go in you come in find the difference yourself
"Big brother, sis, are you here? Can I go in?"
Eastern · din_hamine
and tell the location of yours to your enemy by your own foolishness
Also, "Shoving that fear in their faces by yelling out the name of their families's murderer is nothing short of insulting" I honestly think that this is one line that someone should say to every single fanfic Harry Potter that goes around reveling in the shock that people show when he says Voldemort. Don't you agree?
Book&Literature · vilan864
me to
Ah, I'm so embarrassed… What should I do in this situation? I can't play favorites here!
Fantasy · Excommunicated
his
Cliff thought for a moment, he got up and took the gourd from the young man's hands and walked towards the crack in the rock where the water was flowing, meanwhile he ordered Rakahn to collect all the stones he could carry into her bag.
Fantasy · yanki_jeyda
you should try to become like that, that's what I was saying
Silent anger flickered within me. Once again, I was reminded of the familial concern bestowed upon this undeserving bastard.
Anime & Comics · Slayer_King_One
that the point you shouldn't kill, you should try to become
Silent anger flickered within me. Once again, I was reminded of the familial concern bestowed upon this undeserving bastard.
Anime & Comics · Slayer_King_One
if he has suffered in the whole world heaven't even felt that thing I mean the one percent not even the one person time to say is he hasn't even experience the one percent of any normal person surface because at least he has over his head and some people still love scene that's not a suffering
''We've been watching you, Atlas,'' it said with concern. ''Your life has been hard and full of pain.''
Fantasy · NegansPalace
his not her
Her home was across town, which never felt like a long walk normally. However, the thought of traversing the distance now felt like diving into hell.
Fantasy · DelzGB
because of the autocorrect there are some mistakes in my comments to try to use your brain if you can what I am trying to see on that
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Fantasy · Destango
you have good story but you don't know the writing style of stories you should use pubg is of different kind I mean read some stories where they switch I mean author switches to different poovs of character so you can understand how you can write those because I am not a writer I cannot tell you maximum of the thing others writer can so try ask help from them
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Fantasy · Destango
I think instead of him there should be you
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Fantasy · Destango
why nobody is liking this story, I mean it's good
ch 28 Chapter 28 - Sixth Calamity
Fantasy · Alter_Fanfic
I think space should be in purple colour sand lightning should be in yellow colour
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Fantasy · DragonQueen2105
please you thought person POV in these sentences because, if main character himself tell the story when he is living in that story, then the way of the story or the way of the story decrease, what I am trying to say is the interest in the story decreases that way, so you should change your pov in this kinds of situation to 3rd person pov this will make your story more interesting so try to use that
But when it seemed as though I could not endure anymore, I suddenly disappeared.
PUS*Y HUNTER
Eastern · din_hamine