I think that you might be abusing the "flashbacks" a bit... in this part there was no problem for Hawkins to simply tell the story himself and that way you could describe how he felt about it, how his people felt about it, and give an insight of his personality directly. Hope it helps...
*Flashback 24 years ago*
One Piece: Trafalgar Law
Anime & Comics · komega
Desolate Era! This brings back good memories...
age = 4, power = 2
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Biokinetic Ability in Dragon ball
Anime & Comics · Kaioshin
I find it a bit confusing the way you are structuring the story... like the last two chapters started somewhere at the middle of the previous one but with a different POV? I think the story might flow better without it... those chapters that repeat what the story already mentioned but under a different POV to add the personality or way of thinking of another character always feels a bit out of place for me (not saying you did that in this story... just a bit or a rant inside the rant). It would feel better to use those different POV to show how the other characters think when telling a new part of the story unless you are doing a mystery novel and even there feels kind of cheap? Especially if you are not updating that often. Sorry for the rant, I am liking the story in general and only hoped to give a bit of feedback. Cheers!
What did you think of this Chapter? We resumed the previous chapter after Jackson's death. I wanted to show a bit of what happened after his death, and how Lara felt about everything that was happening.
DC: William Black: Prívate Detective
Anime & Comics · Name123001o2o
Perhaps it is just my own preference but I cannot really understand why people here love to use "flashbacks" so much... unless the writer is trying to fix a whole in the plot or trying for some suspense. Jumping back and forward whit "flashbacks" is kind of annoying and breaks the immersion. Sorry for my little rant, I am enjoying the story thou
The power stone button normally disappears shortly after the novel is started and only returns when the word count reaches about 10,000 words. That is the reason why many fanfics have 1 or 2 chapters titled 'do not read' filled with gibberish, I don't recomend it as many readers hate when that happens. What are the use of the power stones thou? Wouldn't it be better to just be patient? Are you going to continue updating here? Or should I looke for the new one? I like the story, regards!
Dark Angel... I don't remember reading a FF of that setting in this site. Cheers!
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original The Burning Fiend
4.71
"Coiling Dragon" fanfic - What if Reynolds decided to work hard from early age? What if he was blessed by Lady Luck? WARNINGS - 1. This novel is set up on a world where the strong eat the weak, so non-politically correct situations will be common as the story progresses. 2. This is a fanfic, so don't expect to relive all situations from the original novel as the MC will not follow Linley around all the time and their meetings will be reduced as the story progresses. 3. I'm not a native speaker, so don't expect grammar perfection. I don't own either the cover picture or the characters of "Coiling Dragon". patreon.com/_Vlad_140 Chs 2.9k sưu tầm
IMHO this style feels like reading a summary of a chapter rather than a chapter from a novel... not my thing really. You did not describe anything and simply mentioned that it had hapened.
Naruto with Curse Techniques
Anime & Comics · Asura_7uh