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In Marvel with the Perfect Body...
4 (36 số lượng người đọc)
Tóm tắt
I woke up in a new body in a weird universe, that's all, with some boons...
EDIT: This story is SLOW-PACED, and WILL be a harem. However, and don't expect a dumb harem story either.
WARNING: NO ORIGINAL WORKS MENTIONED IN THIS STORY ARE OWNED BY ME OTHER THAN MY ORIGINAL CHARACTER. I AM JUST A CREATIVE GUY USING THE STORY IN A CREATIVE WAY. ALL RIGHTS TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS, RESPECTIVELY?
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This is written after the tenth chapter of this story. TLDR: Not Recommended, No World-Building, Bad System and Character Design, The Story practically jumps from plot point to plot point.•••••Now The Long Part•••••The Writing is Okay, It's Readable but it has no story flow overall 3/5 so far.••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Character Design, the MC is supposed to be smart but he is not, he barely has any common sense especially since he is formerly a 30-year-old adult, he feels bad after beating up someone who assaulted him, does something extract but expects people to think that is normal, the System is non Consistent so far just pick Metric or Imperial and use one for the whole system. Overall 1/5 bland dum-dum MC that is supposed to be "smart".••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Story Development, there is practically no "actual" story so far, for those 10 chapters the story just jumps from one plot to another with practically no connection in between. There is also no Chapter Title in this story which will be annoying to navigate later.••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••The world background is nonexistent, The MC is supposed to be in America (Marvel version) but the "world" in the story doesn't feel like the USA (Free Hospital bills by the government after someone found the MC half-dead, they didn't even question the MC why he is beaten up or check some CCTV footage or whatever)(The MC (Minor) just talks to some construction worker and works there for a day without any work permit (non-existent law system)). I usually don't care but this story does it so badly.
The beginning of this fanfic was very good. Problems started when he was picked up by storm. At points, it seems like he knows Marvel and the characters in it. But forgets them when its convenient for the author to have some fake mystery injected into the story. He has very high IQ but keeps being surprised by his abilities even though he knows he has genes of 3 people who broke past human limits and had almost limitless potential. The frustrating thing is that every time the MC tries to be clever, he opens himself up to manipulation that someone of high IQ would be able to avoid. But as a human, emotional manipulation is still a very real thing, and he can't think his way out of it so he could very easily fall into that by just being friends with some of the xmen. A smart person would understand the character of the person before they become friends. Knowing they would never manipulate you or be around a master manipulator who they owe something to.
2/4/2/2/4 there are many places which feel like an A.I wrote them and also a lot of things seem forced and the choices thus far seem annoying especially given that the author tossed the MC in during tests has him act like they are important when there is so much potential elsewhere if he takes the right actions he can make some money before dropping out and training and maybe try and talk to the ancient one
First 7-8 chapters like it, but after that Mc started doing stupid thing and also started making stupid decision.Then I started hating it😊. 70 percent of you guys will understand what I am trying to say after you read till at least 13 chapter.
I wanted to like this story. unfortunately the author decided to power up his character way too fast. I don't mind intellect advancing quickly, but his physique jumped from chapter 9 to 13 Stupid Fast. I was enjoying his slow steady regaining of his human form so to speak. however he went from normal to strong to Superman in three chapters. I was looking forward to the character making some meaningful personal life changes and becoming self-sufficient. instead however we have a junior Superman spell character who's being supported by the X-Men by chapter 13. it's sours the story and that wrecks it for me. author I wanted to love you work but this is just not doing it for me. I could have stomached plot convenience, expanded senses or mental constructs to help him get through combat. however just going big dumb and broke with the Superman style strength growth just does not work in a good story.
Tiết lộ Spoiler
Please decide if you are going to use the metric or imperial system. Because the status screen shows both, it's bothersome to read if you use both.
Hey author , please don't drop it . It's unique from most Marvel fics that I usually read.
Sorry, but this story disappoints me a lot by a large margin. I don't know why some people love this but alright. For people who's gonna read this story, you're gonna understand what I meant.
Aburrido y otras cosas más, pero bueno... 📈📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉⬅️[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
it doesn't convince me 3/4/2/2/2 Aaaaaaaa áaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaáaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa áaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaáaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Honestly I wanted to give this a chance. I read a couple chapters (2 or 3) before it became less of me reading a story and more me reading the comments to see how people were blasting so many choices the MC made. Maybe this gets better, but I couldn't stomach it long enough to find out
I just say that if you don't organize the chapter title it mess and for me the third thing I do after read the title and the sypnosis of story I go to chapter title to see if it can attract my attention to read it but now I see a stupid number every chapter title also some words that are giving reason like hiatus,sick,family/friend/pet like cat dead too many always like that but if not I sorry.It disturbing to see and making the mood to read story down to skip it finding the interest one.Sorry and apologize for my words but thank you if read this.😊
Tiết lộ Spoiler
Solid start, surprisingly unique, usually don't like X-men arcs unless it is well done in Marvel Fan fictions but this one actually is good. The characters actually are depicted correctly and aren't just reacting. Look forward to more updates.
I've been reading fan-fics for a long time and I really believe that your onto something awesome. Keep up the good work and loving the story! 👍👍
🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Perfeito! A construção do mundo foi interessante o suficiente, e provavelmente continuará a melhorar, já que ainda é o início da história. O MC tem um caráter interessante, e por enquanto suas ações foram conforme a sua situação... Então nada a reclamar. A taxa de atualização é meio imprecisa, mas o autor pode não ter tanto tempo pra escrever, então ele está perdoado (lol) O desenvolvimento da história por enquanto está num ritmo interessante, então nada a reclamar também. Bem, minha avaliação pode ser beem tendenciosa pelo fato de eu amar essa história hehe... Mas recomendo fortemente que você leia ela e tire suas próprias conclusões. Ah, sua interação com as garotas é bom também. Poderia ser mais natural, já que algumas pequenas parte ali são quase forçadas... Mas ainda bom o suficiente. Minha primeira análise "aprofundada", então me perdoem por qualquer estupidez dita. Até mais, Tee-hee~
Tiết lộ Spoiler