Primordial Expanse: I have the Strongest Talent!

Obligatory shameless author review! This is my second official book, and I am taking this one much more seriously than my last one as I made some bad mistakes with that one that unfortunately led to it being dropped. But I learned a lot from writing my previous book and I'm putting my all into this novel from this point onwards! Happy reading!

Okay, so my review is gonna be more critical than that of the other reviews. I’m going to update it as I read further until I either catch up or drop it. (Warning, the spoilers get more detailed the further down you get.)I will note the grammar is good. This is where the positive things end. As of where I’ve read to, chapter 30 something, the author seems to either have been writing without an outline or storyboard. So moments contradict each other. The speeds and strengths of characters in particular are highly inconsistent. I did the math and main character at his weakest and injured easily avoided and killed a 10m/s enemy. After getting massively stronger three times, main character is only 30m/s at fastest speed. As well, a different thing was only a bit faster than a horse before but was later 30+ times faster than main character. The characters are aweful in my opinion. Not a single character can think outside of the box, the author is dumbing all the characters down to the point a group of what is supposed to be hardened adventurers + mc follow a guy for four days into the forest. It’s the IRL equivalent of following a creepy man into his van because he offered to take you home, only thing is that you’re a grown man and know you shouldn’t go with him. Main character has not touched a book once despite being in an unfamiliar world for weeks. He’s also more naive than the average 10 year old. That would be a fine plot point if it was written better, it’s mostly been written as, oh I noticed this but ignored it. Or, “I’ve been too hopeful in this world, I’m gonna do better.” Then he forgets to do better. He also casually kills with no remorse despite living all his life in the mines. Which is also crazy that a universally united human federation allows that form of slavery to exist. The novel feels almost as though it is being written through the eyes of someone who has only read a few novels and purely wants their ideas on paper. Whether it’s true or not, I don’t know, but that’s how it feels. It also lacks descriptive language. It’s a very, this happened then that happened type novel. TLDR: The grammar is fine, the problem is the story itself and the lack of structure. I hope I have clearly articulated what I mean. Thanks for reading my review.

Writing is decent, dialogue is mostly fine. People are a bit too two dimensional, but not the worst I have seen. Author needs to fill in some plot holes, though. The MC is so *dumb*! All he needs to do to level up is grind. He doesn't even need missions, or could take missions to kill low level creatures. Even if he doesn't know that beast cores don't help him as much as soul orbs, he does know that soul orbs help him get stronger. So at least he should be going out to the forest to kill beasts. Oh, wait. He killed a rabbit while still unrated and got a soul orb. And yet, author has him "running to the forest to kill animals for food." for a weeks, having no skills, no injuries, and yet no soul orbs drop? Author needs to explain that. Giving the benefit of the doubt on the updating stability here.

A good mixture of mystery and fantasy, combined with the fun and exciting aspects of Super Gene and Shadow Slave. I'm excited to see where the direction of this novel is headed in the future!

Ok, so, several points! It's similar to shadow slave , that's a positive thing, unfortunately it didn't got me because the writing has some inconsistencies. 1) It lacks context and environmental description. The fight in the forest, what forest, what treas for example? How a boy that always lived in a asteroid ( mining) knows what a forest or treas are if he doesn't even know what horses are? 2) He has a fight with a wild carnivorous 1meter tall rabbit. The rabbit slices and wounds his leg. He defeats the rabbit. And then proceeds to run for 20km???? With a wounded leg??? 20km??? 3) He was in a camp with 1000 people, was the only survivor of a monster attack. Later he defeats the rabbit there. He skins the rabbit ( in like 10min?) and makes a bag with his skin. Lol ( without waiting to dry the blood? To do a bag like this you need to dry the skiing for days), and in the middle of thousands of death people he couldn't find a bag? No one had a bag? Incongruity like this gets me out of the reading completely. And it continues on and on.