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yeah, not the most inspired or accomplished writing here. Me: Personally, I also hate this type of formatting for what's meant to be a novel. Other Me: Apparently it's popular given it's prevalence here so maybe it's just me. The characters need some development, and the convenient encounters in illogical places don't help with the story telling.
Lame is the best word to describe this. Peters' abilities are misunderstood. EVERYTHING happens too fast. All characters are OOC, which would be okay if they weren't watered down, lame, kiddy versions of the originals. The story gives no context to character choices other than the MC. The only thing i liked was that he was leaving school early for college. i always thought peter should have done that in some fanfics.
So let me first say that I haven’t read but only a few chapters so if I’m super wrong then my bad, but… To me it looks like this isn’t the author’s story. I say that because the quality of the writing is not comparable at all to some of the other works they have written. Like it is so subpar compared to some of the other stuff they have posted. Maybe they got a lot better in the past year, going from 0-100. But to me it’s such a jump that it seems like a different person.
UGB di dunia yang tidak bisa terbuka dan Arya kamandanu di Indonesia yang bisa Nggak di dunia yang bisa Nggak itu akan menjadi lurus ke arah yang lebih baik dari segi empat modern by di dunia yang bisa kita lihat aja banyak yang bisa kita lihat aja banyak yang bisa kita lihat aja banyak yang
Tiết lộ Spoiler
the author doesn't truly understand the source material. he doesn't understand what character development and story design and development is. I was hoping for a good si, but the main character is an idiot who follows the direction of his system that's not a system. he has spider powers but for some reason needs to concentrate and gather ki or something to use a natural ability like strength. also the author keeps hyping on about the intelligence of the mc without showing anything. and the author can get as angry as he wants, but his writing is very much along the lines of how he probably talks. the story is really disappointing and author doesn't take criticism well. that's the only reason I'm writing a review. and I'm still being generous.
It's clear that the author don't know anything about marvel, and the speed is just so... 🔥 Demasiado rápido el avance sin ningún desarrollo real por parte del mc.
Couldn't make past the second chapter before dropping. The author has made the mc dependent on the system, said system handles basically everything for him. The speak/thinking writing style is awful and confusing (I.e ME: HMMM YES)
It’s like a badly written script. [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
god, i feel like im reading two robot making a play for dozens of characters. even worst would be one person talking to himself. .. ... . .
Dropping I can’t stand to read this anymore and that’s coming from a guy capablenof reading MTL Writing style hurts especially the “Me:” Action/story has no depth and conversations are very two dimensional I’ve yet to recieve any entsrtainment from reading this book as of chapter 6 yes, That is all I could last for
do give a read if you don't care about realism. but this is a list of fault till ch 16. 1. head of super spy organization have time to play as principal/ head master 2. skill system that deals with skill some how have magic to clean sweat and spawning a high tech computer 3. way too much use of emoji 4. the way that the Mc act is like he wants people to know that he is spiderman, like Nick say he give you the warehouse and then he when to the place and ask the police to own it and later if they see Peter Parker as the owner is just stupid 5. romance scene if you can even called it that, it is more like you feed them aphrosidiac and get together. 6. first a system with a personality and then an AI with personality and they both are able to use emoji anyway if you don't care about all those stuff and just want story without any realism then give it a try
Nice idea but poorly done. Writing is comparable to the stuff on watt pad. Just bad grammer all around and makes the character talk weird, and formatted how they talk like this. Me: this book is dumb Some random dude defending it: No it isn’t. This how the author formats the story and it’s annoying to read.
Writing Quality - is pretty done bad, but the grammar, spelling and word structure are pretty OK. Errors here and there but don't hinder reading quality. Story Development - Not thought of thoroughly, plenty of plotholes, wish fulfillment. Could've done better, more like a speedrun. Character Design - Self Insert MC with Tom Holland as the avatar. Nothing to mention here, generic. Everything a spiderman has. Add Sentient System in. Updates - IDK, not interested. World Background - pretty much everything you know about Marvel Cinematic Universe. Overall - A good fanfic if done right and not speed through everything. Wish fulfillment fanfic.
The system is like way Op it can bring stuff from the future and the only thing the mc has to do in exchange is work out harder. The system also pays for the Mc's gym membership. The system can talk like a normal person and nick fury is the principle. In this story, nick likes to dress up as a principal and curse a lot
I like tho slower abd bit more slice of life but other wise perfect i like a lot very nice expecting more chapters lol heheheheheheheheheheheehehveveveveveveveve
Too much fast paced, plus one after another clinchè situations. Then a all solution system. It made me give up. All things aside if it was a little(much) slow paced it could have been a good read.
Since this is your first Fanfic, It's understandable to have some mistakes. The Story is progressing too fast and his world background is medium, author needs to research both movies and comics to really understand the characters' roles in this universe and ideas to make it more believable since this is a work of fiction. All in all, don't rush it, this has potential to be even better in future and the Author can just edit the mistakes later on, when he more experienced.
Writer needs to brush up on his Marvel knowledge..................................................................................................
First off it feels more like an 14 yos wet dream. Like wtaf, the fights scenes, super awesome spy, stark level physics, calling himself a genius every other paragraph. Everything I brought up is how everyone speaks or the author narrated. The grammar is a problem in itself, every chapter their is something wrong and I personally don't like when conversations feel like a bulletin board. The author definitely only watched the newer spidermans and maybe dabbled in some marvel/spiderman ff.
A couple of red flags to note: 1. a system in marvel 2. it's a sentient system 3. MC name system 4. System is literally starting and engaging in conversation 5. Author hasn't done much research about spiderman
I can't see where the story was going!!😒😒😒😒😒[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
It's somewhat of a light read for marvel fans. There's a lot of inconsistencies in plot and characters, BUT it still have a sort of a flow and keeps you reading.
it's like a speedrun in written form..............................................................................................................
Nice[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
The story is very fast paced is like reading a conversation between a very old chat bot andan another one . while th i idea is ok but i have seen worse the problems are that the author doesn't know much about marvel spiderman has a base strength of average of 15-25 tons at beginning and he also doesn't portray nick fury as his character himself do remember that nick is the head of a f****** spy organisation and its his nature to suspicious and over all not a good story if you just started to read .
yeah, not the most inspired or accomplished writing here. Me: Personally, I also hate this type of formatting for what's meant to be a novel. Other Me: Apparently it's popular given it's prevalence here so maybe it's just me. The characters need some development, and the convenient encounters in illogical places don't help with the story telling.
Lame is the best word to describe this. Peters' abilities are misunderstood. EVERYTHING happens too fast. All characters are OOC, which would be okay if they weren't watered down, lame, kiddy versions of the originals. The story gives no context to character choices other than the MC. The only thing i liked was that he was leaving school early for college. i always thought peter should have done that in some fanfics.
So let me first say that I haven’t read but only a few chapters so if I’m super wrong then my bad, but… To me it looks like this isn’t the author’s story. I say that because the quality of the writing is not comparable at all to some of the other works they have written. Like it is so subpar compared to some of the other stuff they have posted. Maybe they got a lot better in the past year, going from 0-100. But to me it’s such a jump that it seems like a different person.
UGB di dunia yang tidak bisa terbuka dan Arya kamandanu di Indonesia yang bisa Nggak di dunia yang bisa Nggak itu akan menjadi lurus ke arah yang lebih baik dari segi empat modern by di dunia yang bisa kita lihat aja banyak yang bisa kita lihat aja banyak yang bisa kita lihat aja banyak yang
Tiết lộ Spoiler the author doesn't truly understand the source material. he doesn't understand what character development and story design and development is. I was hoping for a good si, but the main character is an idiot who follows the direction of his system that's not a system. he has spider powers but for some reason needs to concentrate and gather ki or something to use a natural ability like strength. also the author keeps hyping on about the intelligence of the mc without showing anything. and the author can get as angry as he wants, but his writing is very much along the lines of how he probably talks. the story is really disappointing and author doesn't take criticism well. that's the only reason I'm writing a review. and I'm still being generous.
It's clear that the author don't know anything about marvel, and the speed is just so... 🔥 Demasiado rápido el avance sin ningún desarrollo real por parte del mc.
Couldn't make past the second chapter before dropping. The author has made the mc dependent on the system, said system handles basically everything for him. The speak/thinking writing style is awful and confusing (I.e ME: HMMM YES)
It’s like a badly written script. [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
god, i feel like im reading two robot making a play for dozens of characters. even worst would be one person talking to himself. .. ... . .
Dropping I can’t stand to read this anymore and that’s coming from a guy capablenof reading MTL Writing style hurts especially the “Me:” Action/story has no depth and conversations are very two dimensional I’ve yet to recieve any entsrtainment from reading this book as of chapter 6 yes, That is all I could last for
do give a read if you don't care about realism. but this is a list of fault till ch 16. 1. head of super spy organization have time to play as principal/ head master 2. skill system that deals with skill some how have magic to clean sweat and spawning a high tech computer 3. way too much use of emoji 4. the way that the Mc act is like he wants people to know that he is spiderman, like Nick say he give you the warehouse and then he when to the place and ask the police to own it and later if they see Peter Parker as the owner is just stupid 5. romance scene if you can even called it that, it is more like you feed them aphrosidiac and get together. 6. first a system with a personality and then an AI with personality and they both are able to use emoji anyway if you don't care about all those stuff and just want story without any realism then give it a try
Nice idea but poorly done. Writing is comparable to the stuff on watt pad. Just bad grammer all around and makes the character talk weird, and formatted how they talk like this. Me: this book is dumb Some random dude defending it: No it isn’t. This how the author formats the story and it’s annoying to read.
Writing Quality - is pretty done bad, but the grammar, spelling and word structure are pretty OK. Errors here and there but don't hinder reading quality. Story Development - Not thought of thoroughly, plenty of plotholes, wish fulfillment. Could've done better, more like a speedrun. Character Design - Self Insert MC with Tom Holland as the avatar. Nothing to mention here, generic. Everything a spiderman has. Add Sentient System in. Updates - IDK, not interested. World Background - pretty much everything you know about Marvel Cinematic Universe. Overall - A good fanfic if done right and not speed through everything. Wish fulfillment fanfic.
The system is like way Op it can bring stuff from the future and the only thing the mc has to do in exchange is work out harder. The system also pays for the Mc's gym membership. The system can talk like a normal person and nick fury is the principle. In this story, nick likes to dress up as a principal and curse a lot
I like tho slower abd bit more slice of life but other wise perfect i like a lot very nice expecting more chapters lol heheheheheheheheheheheehehveveveveveveveve
Too much fast paced, plus one after another clinchè situations. Then a all solution system. It made me give up. All things aside if it was a little(much) slow paced it could have been a good read.
Since this is your first Fanfic, It's understandable to have some mistakes. The Story is progressing too fast and his world background is medium, author needs to research both movies and comics to really understand the characters' roles in this universe and ideas to make it more believable since this is a work of fiction. All in all, don't rush it, this has potential to be even better in future and the Author can just edit the mistakes later on, when he more experienced.
Writer needs to brush up on his Marvel knowledge..................................................................................................
First off it feels more like an 14 yos wet dream. Like wtaf, the fights scenes, super awesome spy, stark level physics, calling himself a genius every other paragraph. Everything I brought up is how everyone speaks or the author narrated. The grammar is a problem in itself, every chapter their is something wrong and I personally don't like when conversations feel like a bulletin board. The author definitely only watched the newer spidermans and maybe dabbled in some marvel/spiderman ff.
A couple of red flags to note: 1. a system in marvel 2. it's a sentient system 3. MC name system 4. System is literally starting and engaging in conversation 5. Author hasn't done much research about spiderman
I can't see where the story was going!!😒😒😒😒😒[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
It's somewhat of a light read for marvel fans. There's a lot of inconsistencies in plot and characters, BUT it still have a sort of a flow and keeps you reading.
it's like a speedrun in written form..............................................................................................................
Nice[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
The story is very fast paced is like reading a conversation between a very old chat bot andan another one . while th i idea is ok but i have seen worse the problems are that the author doesn't know much about marvel spiderman has a base strength of average of 15-25 tons at beginning and he also doesn't portray nick fury as his character himself do remember that nick is the head of a f****** spy organisation and its his nature to suspicious and over all not a good story if you just started to read .