"No."
"Same old pieces of shit, huh?" he sighs.
"They were late to your funereal..." Lillith quietly and angrily mutters.
Michael mirthfully shrugs, "Can't fault them if they're busy. Maybe I should die again so they get a chance to attend this time?"
"Your parents sound worse than mine somehow." Saya remarks.
"Your parents actually love you, Saya. Mine? Feels like we're just a business expense or something." he says and Lillith nods in agreement.
"Big bro, h-how are you even here?" she finally asks, prompting everyone to look at one another.
"Well..."
Michael proceeds to give Lillith the basic layout of what'd happened, his transportation to another world, meeting with Tiffania, travelling to Tamriel, etc.
It was a long and frankly difficult discussion to have... He left out a lot of the truly horrific things, even going so far as to not mention him resurrecting Tiffania with her mother's ring. He wasn't sure what his sister's reaction would be if he spoke of the torture he'd gone through at the hand of Sheffield and the other Nobles.
In the end, Lillith was excitedly hopping in her seat, "S-so you're really an elf!?"
Tiffania nods, "Half-elf actually." she confirms while wiggling her ears, much to Lillith's amusement.
"And you're a wizard?" she next asks Megumin.
"Arch-Wizard! The strongest of the magic classes!" Megumin proudly announces.
The teen then turns to Saya who holds her hand up, "I'm just a regular mage, nothing that special if you ignore the magic." she shrugs.
...
Finally, she looks to Michael with a smile, "You actually have friends, big bro! Even if they're all girls..."
Michael coughs, "I have guy friends too... Like, er..." he scratches his head, Savos was out, Surtr was more of an acquaintance along with the rest of the Companions, Bynjolf was more of a business partner than anything else... Ah! "I'm friends with a guy named Irarus!"
...
"The fact that it took you so long to think of one shows a lot..." Saya remarks, "You're like a harem protagonist from an Anime..." she jabs a finger at him, "You'll have a harem once Saeko joins you and Tiffania..."
"No, two doesn't make a harem... And we're not even in agreement on it yet." Michael adds the last part as a second thought, causing the others to smirk.
"You're right, two doesn't make a harem... Hey Megumin, I've seen you looking at him, how about you jump on the bandwagon?" Saya says while nudging the girl with her elbow.
"W-w-w-what!? No! Why would you think that!" the explosion girl stutters out and blushes at how suspect her reaction is.
"Hehehehe, very convincing shorty." Saya smirks.
A couple more minutes of talking later and Michael offers to cook something for Lillith, who'd basically been surviving on pot noodles, takeaways, and prepared meals even since he 'died'. While he was a 'cook' he could make something edible, which the girl readily agreed to, quickly pulling the girls away to show them the wonders of the internet. Well, show Tiff and Megu, Saya was already well aware of it.
Michael looks through the kitchen and is disappointed to find very little stocked. A cabinet filled to the brim with pot noodles, a freezer filled with frozen pizza, and a fridge mostly empty apart from some old bottles of ketchup, mayonnaise, and some things to make sandwiches with...
How Lillith could live off this stuff and still look relatively healthy was a mystery... Maybe the school cafeteria food supplemented her diet some?
Shaking his head, he pulls the ingredients out of his inventory and gets to work cooking a meat and potato stew...
Halfway through cooking it he was interrupted by the girls who all stood in the doorway with various expressions on their faces...
"Michael... What do you know about 'The Elder Scrolls : Skyrim'?" Saya asks with squinted eyes and folded arms.
"Ah... So you found that then." he trails off, "What did you see?"
"Oh, I don't know, the fact that the world we live in is some game, shorty is from some comedy anime, and me and Tiffania are from some harem animes... You know I was joking about that earlier right!?"
"You knew about this and didn't tell us?" Tiffania asks as he fumbles to find something to say.
"Well, look at it like this... Would you rather know that your world, life, and everything you know is a piece of fiction to millions of other people? I didn't mention it first, because it didn't really matter. And second, because it was better left unsaid, for all of our peace of mind." he explains before shrugging, "Besides, from what I know, you're all better off than your fictional counterparts..."
Tiffania tilts her head, "How do you mean?"
Michael gestures at her, "It's vague but you'd be one of the protagonist's love interests, living in a human country that hated you for your race... I think? I haven't watched the show in years so it's a bit fuzzy, to be honest."
"What about me?" Megumin asks, "What would've happened if I wasn't summoned?"
"You'd have bene in Yunyun's place, in the same party as Kazuma, Aqua, and Darkness... Actually, the party is better off without you, mostly because in that reality you could only cast a single explosion before passing out..."
"Oooh..." she mutters, realising how useless she must've been, especially since most adventurer contracts required the purging of many smaller targets, as opposed to one large one.
"And me?" Saya asks.
Michael shrugs, "I didn't actually watch your show to be honest... But it isn't hard to predict how things would've gone... What do you think would have happened if I wasn't there to kill most of the zombies, deal with most threats, and you remained with Cukashi?"
...
"You're right... I'm definitely better off away from there." she states with a slight shiver.
He grins, "Well, if you guys are curious, we could make a movie night out of it and watch how your futures could've been..."
Megumin's eyes light up, "That sounds great! I wanna watch me blow stuff up!"
Michael mirthfully shakes his head, "I don't think you understand just how useless you were in that party... Whatever, Lillith, load up Konosuba."
Hope you bois liked the chap, if I missed anything please let me know. Thanks!
If you like my content or want to read ahead please go to : https://www.p.atreon.com/Nagross, I'd appreciate it.
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"So, Aqua is actually a Goddess? How? She's so..." Megumin mutters as she and the others watch Konosuba, finding the Anime rather stupid, if funny in the way it was animated... Crying Aqua could never not be funny after all.
"Dumb?" Saya finishes for her.
"Did you actually meet her, bro?" Lillith asks, finding it difficult to reconcile with this fantastical situation she'd found herself in... Had she gone into a coma and just dreamt this up? Because that's what it felt like...
"Yeah... She's just like she is in the anime too, constantly crying and screaming, or looking smug despite her own failings..."
"Kazuma seems to be from a world similar to yours, Michael." Tiffania asks.
Michael shrugs, "It's a troupe, modern guy gets transported to another world... It isn't strange for a character designed by us to have similarities. If the creator was even responsible for the creation of that world anyway? Which I'm pretty sure is impossible?"
"I'm sticking with the multiverse theory... Otherwise I'd have to reconcile the fact that I was created by a sweaty otaku with a big-boob fetish..."
"Hmph, that'd explain why you and your friends all have giant boobs." Megumin sneers, "Everyone else in your world had 'normal' sizes..."
"Well, as a man of culture, I'm not going to complain about it..." Michael chuckles.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh! It's me! Look how cool I am!" Megumin shuffles in her seat as her character introduces herself... Only to then fall down due to her starvation and exhaustion...
"Didn't this happen when we summoned you?" Tiffania asks.
"Er, well... Yes? But you caught me at a bad time..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Haha! Watch as I annihilate that Giant Frog! Explosion!" she exclaims simultaneously with her Anime character.
*BOOOM!*
"Haha, worth it." the on-screen Megumin mutters as she falls flat on her face, slowly sliding down the hill as another Giant Frog hops towards her...
"Let me guess, they caught you at a bad time?" Saya drawls as Megumin flushes at the embarrassing situation.
"I think... I'd rather not have any magic..." Lillith mutters as they all watch Megumin get eaten and covered in gross frog stomach acids.
"Poor Kazuma, having to put up with such useless people... If he wasn't such a pervert I'd feel bad for him." Saya states.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So, that's how they met Darkness..."
"Yep..."
"You know, I think we should give her an Anime to watch... One starting with Goblin and ending in Slayer..." Michael wonders aloud despite no one else knowing what he was referring to. He shakes his head, "I feel kinda bad for her since she'd never find a good relationship... If they were kind she'd be upset about it, if they were cruel she'd be happy but in a terrible situation..."
"M-maybe we could... Fix her mindset?" Tiffania offers, "My Erase spell with some illusions might do the trick?"
"Oh, mind control, Tiff? I never thought you'd have it in you..."
"N-no! But... If it helps her in the long run, why would it be a bad thing?"
"Because you're fundamentally altering a person against their will?"
Michael coughs into his fist, "Actually... If you asked she'd probably accept it, you know, hardcore masochist and all."
"Ah, right..."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The group continue to watch up until the Dullahan Demon General attacks the city due to Megumin's habit of practising Explosion spells on his castle...
"Haha! I knew it! You're as dumb as the rest of that useless group!" Saya laughs.
"No! How was I, she, supposed to know that a Demon General lived there!?..." She angrily shakes her head and turns it off before jabbing a finger at Saya, "Let's watch her now! I wanna see her pee herself when those zombies attack!"
Saya's brows rise at this as she thinks back on what'd happened, she hadn't reacted as confidently as she should have, basically relying on Kohta to save her ass through the whole thing... "Ah, can we not actually?"
Michael grins, "We'll watch Tiffania's after yours... Let's hope you didn't do anything too embarrassing." he says as he loads up Highschool of the Dead.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Huh, they got my whole conversation with Cuckashi..." Saya mutters as she views herself speaking with her former crush on the school staircase.
"Hehe, you have a thing for broody, emo boys?" Megumin taunts.
"Better than your crush on Kazuma, I bet by the end of that series he gets together with all three of you useless girls!" Saya hits back.
"No way would that ever happen!"
"Erm, it says here that Kazuma and Megumin get together in the Novel." Lillith quietly says as she pulls up the series.
Megumin, justifiably buries her face in her hands as Saya laughs over her.
"I think it's cute... You would be good for one another." Tiffania offers, only embarrassing Megumin further.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"That Shido guy killed his student!" Megumin exclaims as they all watch said person kick a teenage boy into a crowd of zombies to save himself.
"Yeah, we already know he's a scumbag, did Michael ever tell you how we killed him?"
"No...?" Lillith buts in, looking a bit green both from the deaths in the Anime and the mention of her brother being involved with all of it.
...
Saya glances at Michael uncomfortably, not really knowing if she should say anything... She'd kind of forgotten that Lillith was here, to be honest.
He lets out a sigh and scratches his face, "I slowly lowered him into a crowd of zombies to be devoured... Trust me, that piece of trash deserved it."
Saya nods, "He did, the people he hurt would live with it for the rest of their lives."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, that's where you should have appeared!" Saya exclaims as she watches the group travel in the school bus.
Michael shrugs, "I don't exist in the Anime, remember... This is the timeline where I don't appear."
...
"This isn't going to go well, is it?" she mutters.
"Probably."
Hope you bois liked the chap, if I missed anything please let me know. Thanks!
Also, thanks to my patrons for their support :
ShinAmazake
Kingsprovince
Faruk Ereng
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