Overall I give the story a 2.6/5. If I were to ignore the fact that this is the authors first story, this would be the result. However for a first try I would personally rate it a 3.6 or a little bit higher as its main flaw is the authors inexperience with creating storylines that are coherent and sensible, and characters that feel believable. The author seemingly has potential as long as they properly think out the development of the story. The story has average writing quality, generally unnoticeable mistakes unless you look for them, but a few issues here and there for legibility. Generally the story doesn't captivate or immerse the reader well enough to warrant the full five.(4/5) About two chapters a day, 12 hours between each post. I suspect there will be a hiatus eventually, but that is just a suspicion. (4/5) The story development follows an awkward and sometimes bizarre path of logic, while managing to follow tropes poorly in some cases. An example being the commonly found evil second personality trope, this is done pretty poorly due to the fact that it comes along out of nowhere and isn't developed in a proper way. Another example being the jump in logic Sarutobi makes when sending the protagonist to the orphanage.(1/5) The character design is poor at best, Kakashi doesn't feel like Kakashi, Naruto feels like Generic Charismatic Character Number #612. The main character is also bland and unappealing, in the chapters I have read there has been no underlying goal or ambition set for the protagonist. (2/5) World background unfortunately isn't much better, uses fanfiction tropes for Naruto. Tropes like him getting stoned as a child, which is done especially poorly due to the fact that this is explained when they are four, by which most children even if as strong as a normal adult would have broken bones or dying if hit in the head with a stone thrown by an adult who would probably not hold back. (2/5)
Please fully read this before skipping it as it really just does seem like I'm trying to insult you at first. Quite frankly you're rather infamous for having horrible writing quality and pay walling literally every story you have ever made. I think I've seen at least 4 authors which were of at least decent quality start talking shit about you in their comment sections, one of which being from literal years ago. Here is my question though, have you tried taking inspiration from the way other writers make their content readable? Personally, I think you would probably have less hate comments and monetization if you tried to improve the readers experience when reading on of your fanfictions. Right now I think people are stuck at the middle ground of liking your work while also not being willing to pay for arguably subpar quality. You're not lacking the imagination for coming up with ideas of good quality as I'm guessing you actually receive patrons, when considering the length of time you have been doing such a thing. If you need a place to get started, try reading your work back to yourself. I find this helps a lot with finding where you would place comma's rather than periods in your work while also expanding your capability to improve upon your writing, because you focus more on what you are writing and finding what sounds best to you. Memorizing common phrases and how they are set up to bring the most comfort to the reader. An example being late in chapter two - to avoid receiving the obligatory spoilers tag - you wrote "Yeah yeah see you later,". There are four issues grammatically, but one is better off not fixed. If you were to have wrote this as "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you later" this rendition of the phrase would be better for a more formal setting - if you were to refuse to reword it of course - and cutting out the "I'll" in this situation actually improves the quality because of the relation between the characters (Mother and Son in this case). "Yeah, yeah." in the phrase is cut into two parts making it easier to read and also makes the phrase useful as a writing technique again. The technique - if you didn't know - is supposed to increase the readers immersion with the story, and the more immersed the reader is, the better the experience they will have whilst also making scenes easier to imagine for the reader. Once again, sorry if this comes off a bit rude or needlessly patronizing. Just felt like trying to help and didn't mean any offense, you are welcome to do with this advice as you please.
หนังสือเล่มนี้ถูกลบแล้ว
Interesting thought, could've done 12:57 AM every 3 days, as that would mean 777 minutes passed in that day.
"No." Perenelle answered after thinking about it. "Not really. Time doesn't play a big part since they weren't devised with the planet's rotation in mind."
Gamer: Dimensional Mercenary
Anime & Comics · GrreedyGoblin
70 chapters read upon review. TLDR its MTL garbage.
From a pretty brief 70ish chapter look, and to give a TLDR for the review, it's pretty much just basic Chinese MTL that does nothing special amongst the graveyard of thousands of horribly translated stories just like it. Very heavily uses Machine Translated Language (MTL) with almost unreadable parts where something along the lines of "I want to give you monkey" or "I...grass!" show up repeatedly, usually when the author tries to show a bystander POV toward something King just did. It has 222 chapters in 5 days, classic pump and dump for most MTL translation work. Story is kind of meh, personally I feel the progression is pretty shit with multiple times where I'm left wanting more focus being given to something, or the story just keeps holding onto something that isn't interesting. An example being the power system which the story is revolved around, which barely received any attention in favor of showcasing how lucky or unlucky King is at any time. The characters are one dimensional, but that's OPM fanfiction for you. King in the story is portrayed having almost no differences even though he was transmigrated and there is no real development so far as a character other than Kings public image, and expanding on Tatsumaki's encounters with King. This time I have a question for you, what is the worst world development you have ever seen? This isn't the worst by a long shot from me, but its definitely not the best. The story doesn't expand upon the original by any amount and simply runs with the concept for as long as possible. The story actively tries to make a comedy scene by taking the point of view of the hero association, which just manages to get old after the first chuckle or two. Quite frankly the story is matched in quality by a lot of Naruto fanfictions already on this site which seem to have 20 chapters and only end up making it to the wave arc due to lacking creativity on the authors part. One of, if not the worst of the worst fanfiction for me being the first one I read, and unfortunately Dark Wolf Shiro's work as an author still haunts me to this day as an unfortunate reminder of how edgy something could be while still managing to be nonsensical, unethical, and most importantly making the reader thing that just because something was written well, it was a good story while having quite literally porn for plot and almost zero progression beyond 'protagonist gets stronger cause porn logic'. 2.2/5 stars, I feel like a food reviewer after this. (Thanks for reading I guess, kind of just felt like doing one of these because I haven't in a while. Felt the story was pretty shit and people do actually sort by rating quite often when looking for things to read, or at least I do. It also feels good to vent a little even if nobody really cares and nobody will probably read this anyway.)
Fun Fact, not everyone who believes the moon landing was fake believes that we never went to space. How it was explained to me is that some just think that the USA lied about the moon landing to the USSR, with an edited/misleading video with the purpose of one upping them (only necessary because the Cold War put pressure on the USA). The argument is basically that they knew they were close enough for it to be believable and that it was too convenient for the USA to suddenly surpass the USSR in space development in a realistic scenario. (In hindsight, no one gives a f***)
"Though, few idiots still believe that it was fake when there is clear evidence pointing it was real and we have people living in space crying out loud."
Omni-Dimensional Emanation
Anime & Comics · Try_hard
isn't Shisui really young, probably still like 3-5 at this point?
Kagami Uchiha, Fugaku Uchiha, Obito Uchiha, and Kana Uchiha were the primary talent. And not to mention Ken Uchiha (Fugaku's brother) and Shisui Uchiha who would also be quite formidable. So he wanted the clan the be pleased as well. Honestly, he would have made an Uchiha the Hokage and cut off any enemies that they had in the village, if it weren't for the instability that it would cause among other clans.
0000X0000
Anime & Comics · Fallen_Crown
fair enough
I went to the lottery and pulled. It was a rare card. And it was permanent. Talk about lucky.
Gamer in Overlord
Anime & Comics · Student_Of_Culture
I feel like I was just told Santa isn't real.
"*Tsk*, scum." Bob Uchiha watched the humanoid players from the [DMarks] guild fade out into specs of light next to TouchMe. The center player was actually the guild leader. He had run away while carrying their guild weapon like a coward.
Yggdrasil: Worsap (Overlord FF)
Anime & Comics · FoxSpy
However, those were not important. What was important was that she had a pair of cat ears, and from time to time, a cute little tail would stick out from under her dress.
Zero To Hero In The Martial Arts Library
Eastern · Wood Easily Starts Fires