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87.5% Naruto: The Unwoven Threads of Fate / Chapter 77: Chapter 60 (2/5)

บท 77: Chapter 60 (2/5)

So like a bunch of highly trained killers that have been taught to react to threats at the drop of a hat we all move like a well oiled machine to get outside and assess the threat that has Naruto so worked up.

"I don't see anything." Anko says as she scans the horizon for threats.

"Me either." Ino is scanning a different section of the horizon than Anko.

"Naruto." Shikamaru crassly says to the freaking out genin. "If this is a prank-"

"Over there! Look! In the sky!" Naruto points due east towards the sky, sure enough there's something there. The only reason no one noticed it before was because it used various mountains and the sunrise to hide itself, the glaring brightness of the sun drowned out whatever this is while the towering peaks blocked it completely from our vision. "What the hell is that!?"

We're not the only people to be outside, there's a large part of both the group that assaulted the train and the movie crew outside too. We're not the only ones to notice the object flying towards us.

"It's Doto's warship!" One of the men that attempted to assault the train shouts. "He's found us and brought out his warship to exterminate us! We have to run!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I say in exasperation. "That's not a warship, it's a fucking blimp. Doto has a blimp. One of his shinobi has a snowboard. Another has wings. The last one has a narwhal jutsu. What the hell is going on with this country?"

"You know what that is?" Shikamaru asks me with his entire intellect devoted to figuring out how to take it down. "How do we stop it?"

"Well it depends on what gas was used to provide it with lift." I begin to explain. "How blimps work is there's a giant balloon, for lack of a better term, attached to the thing that is supposed to fly. The balloon is filled with a gas that's lighter than what the atmosphere is made up of to give it a kind of buoyancy, like a boat in water. Instead it's that giant thing in the air. The two most likely gasses to be used to provide the blimp with it's 'lift' are hydrogen and helium. Hydrogen is the better gas to pick if you're basing it solely off of lift power since it's lighter than helium but hydrogen has a nasty side effect of being horrendously flammable. Just one spark and boom, no more blimp. Helium, on the other hand, is not flammable but provides less lift power. So if Doto filled up his blimp with hydrogen we're going to make a massive fireball the likes of which this world has never seen before - which is the one I'm hoping for because that shit would be awesome - but if it's helium then we have to do it the old fashioned way, use a fuckton of explosive tags or really impressive jutsu to blast it out of the sky. Or we could just board it and kick everyone else off of it. Preferably while still in the air."

The only response I get is silence and slack jawed observers.

"What?" I quickly rub my face. "Was there something on my face? Did I get it off?"

"That… was incredibly specific." Kakashi is the first to recover. "How do you know all of that?"

Shit. Time to lie my ass off and hope no one catches me. It's not like I can say I was bored one day and Googled it. Oh what's Google you ask, this magical thing on the internet from my previous life. Yeah, that would go over well.

"Uh hello? I've been living and training under Orochimaru, sure he's a shinobi first but he's a scientist second. He likes to know how things work and I've picked up a bit of this and that from him."

"Okay." Naruto pulls himself together. "Alvarcus is actually incredibly smart. Never would have guessed that."

"What the hell? Did you think I was a moron or something?" I accuse Naruto.

"A little?" Naruto admits shamefully.

"You do the weirdest stuff ever." Ino blandly points out. "If I haven't been inside your head and seen just a glimpse of what your thought process is like I'd consider you a massive idiot too."

"Yeah you don't exactly scream intelligent. Nor do you look the part." Anko agrees with the other two shinobi.

"I always knew you were above average but never thought you'd be this smart." Even Shikamaru thought that! "You did a lot of stupid stuff, even before you left. I distinctly remember you being blamed for setting a building on fire in Konoha while on a demolition mission after the Invasion. Then it exploded and ANBU had to step in."

"I've always known he's smart." Oh thank you Kakashi! Thank you so much! "Alvarcus may seem like a bumbling fool most of the time but in reality he's a gifted strategist in his own right. It's just that his plans tend to be a bit unorthodox and potentially scarring. I figured that out when we fought Zabuza."

"Zabuza?" Naruto asks. "Who is Zabuza?"

"Ex member of the Legendary Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. He's dead now." I bluntly say. "Guys, don't we have bigger problems than trying to insult my intelligence? Like say, the FUCKING BLIMP THAT'S ALMOST ON TOP OF US?"

"Right. Here's the plan." Shikamaru temples his fingers together as he goes deep in thought. "We've got to get Koyuki out of here-"

"Why must I leave?" Koyuki and Sandayu boldly walk out of the building that we were all in only minutes ago. "What is that?"

"That would be your uncle's blimp." I monotonously summarize in six words. "We're going to get you away from it, right now."

SCREEEEECH

The sound of microphone feedback tears through the air.

"Good morning you miserable wretches." Doto's voice resonates out of the speakers mounted to his blimp. "I will give you one chance, only one, to hand over my long lost niece. If you comply I will spare you lives for today and forgive you all assaulting my very expensive and hard to make train. Should you fail to bring her to me I will level this entire town with impunity. You have five minutes to produce her, the clock starts now."

"So." I turn to the rest of the group as I pull out a kunai and wrap one of my explosive tags around the hilt. "Can I attempt to make the world's biggest fireball right now? Cuz I'm getting a bit twitchy."

"Alvarcus it's above us and the town." Kakashi denies. "If it is a fireball waiting to happen and you spark it now it's going to fall down on us. That's bad. We don't want that."

"But Kakashi! I wanna make a fireball! Not just any fireball the world's biggest fireball!" I stomp my foot like a child that was just told they can't have only cookies for dinner.

"No!" Ino thwaps me in the back of the head. "I don't want a burning lump of metal falling down on my head! Do it later!"

"Ow. Fine. Later when there's less people in the crash zone." I tenderly rub the back of my head. "I let you slap me once and now it's open season. Let's not make this a recurring thing. I'm not a fan."

"When there's no one in the crash zone." Ino firmly demands. "And someone has to stop you from doing stupid things, if it's by smacking you around then so be it. I'll gladly smack you around as much as needed. I wasn't kidding when I said if felt good. It's very therapeutic."

"Wait wait wait." Naruto butts in. "Ino you slapped Alvarcus?"

"Yes she did. Then she proceeded to feel up my back and comment about my masks and how uncomfortable they must be." I blandly share with everyone and I feel just a hint of satisfaction at Ino's mortified face when I shared the part about her feeling me up. "Anyways, and I have no idea why I'm being the voice of reason here, we've got to do something."

"You're right. I suppose we should do something about that." Kakashi straightens up, his lackadaisical posture vanishes. He's all business now, he's ready to fight to the death. "So. Shikamaru. Team leader. Orders? We've got about four minutes before Doto does whatever he's got planned."

"Okay. Okay. I've got this. Just give me a moment." Shikamaru racks his brain for any and all possible solutions. "Can anyone get up there?"

"No." Kakashi instantly and briskly answers.

"Nope." Anko follows suit.

"Maybe?" Naruto says as he's judging the distance from here to the blimp. "I could summon a Toad to leap me up there but it's really cold here and I don't know if I can convince the one I'd summon to go through with it. Plus he's so big he could take the entire thing down once he lands on it."

"So no." Shikamaru decides and continues plotting with the new information.

"No. I've got nothing that could do that." Ino says.

"I can get up there." It's my turn to judge the distance from here to the blimp. It's not that far. I could have one of my minions throw me up there. "I can easily get up there. There's just one tiny problem though."

"And what is it?" Shikamaru asks. "We could use someone on the inside."

"Yeah… it's just… well you see…" I awkwardly trail off.

"Alvarcus has a crippling fear of heights." Kakashi sighs out. "He locks up when he's high in the air without a secure handhold on something."

"Oh yeah. He freaked out when we were on Gamabunta way back when." Naruto reflects back on his memories. "It was weird to see him so out of it."

"You're afraid of heights?" Shikamaru asks in disbelief. "But on the ship you made the crow's nest your bunk! That's the highest point on the boat!"

"Well yeah but it wasn't that high. Plus I knew that I could easily catch myself with the mast if I fell whenever I wanted to. But the blimp is way higher and if I fall off that there's nothing for me to grab onto. It's a long drop down to the cold hard ground. It's not technically the height I'm terrified of, it's falling for extended periods of time without being able to stop myself. It's fucking terrifying, I like being in control. In the air like that, you can't change anything. The only choice you have is to plummet."

"Wow. I never would have guessed you'd have such a mundane fear." Shikamaru says. "Alright, so no one goes to the blimp."

"I vote for making it into a fireball." I voice again as I flip the kunai in the air then catch it. "Ready and willing."

"No." Everyone else says in unison.

"You all suck." I pout as I put the kunai away.

"Alright so here's the plan." Shikamaru finally says something productive. "Kakashi and Alvarcus are going to stop whatever it shoots at the town. We don't know what will come out of it so we need our best ready to stop it. Anko, Naruto, Ino and I will stick with Koyuki and the rest of the people here to protect them from any Snow shinobi that attempt to infiltrate and kidnap her."

"That's it?" I ask in confusion. "I thought you were some up and coming genius strategist. Shouldn't you have specific roles for everyone and they somehow mesh together to make a complex plan come to fruition? You know, like I get to burn down the blimp, Kakashi takes out Nadare, Naruto takes out snowboard guy who's name I forgot, Anko takes out pink pig tails whose name I also forgot and you and Ino protect everyone else while we're looking awesome?"

"Yeah!" Naruto chimes in. "Why don't we do that?"

"Because we don't know if they have anything else planned you morons." Shikamaru scoffs out. "We don't know what they're going to do, we don't even know if that team of three is the only threat on the blimp. So we're going with my plan. Kakashi and Alvarcus stop the blimp from destroying the town. Everyone else protect the civilians with an emphasis on Koyuki. Got it?"

"Fine." I huff out. "I still wanna make it a fireball."

"What if it's made of the not flammable gas, helium?" Anko asks.

"Oi." I turn a glare on her. "Don't ruin this for me. I want this to happen so badly. I'm going to do everything I can to make it happen."

"You little punk that's exactly how I feel!" Anko slips up and lets anger dance on her face for a moment. "Man up already!"

"Uh… what the hell are you talking about?" I intelligently respond with a look of confusion.

"How are you both this damn dense!" Anko shouts out with an added stomp for effect. "I swear the only way to get you two to realize it is to throw you both in a room and lock the door! Gah!"

I glance at the rest of the shinobi here.

Kakashi looks mildly amused. Naruto looks just as confused as I am if not more. Shikamaru is quickly glancing between Ino and me. Ino is… blushing madly? What? Why would she be blushing?

Unless… no. It can't be. Does she like -

SCREEEEECH

The sound of microphone feedback rips through the air again.

"Ah, Koyuki darling, how nice to see you again." Doto's voice resonates through the entire town.

"What!?" All of the shinobi quickly look to where we last saw the Princess, barely two meters away with Sandayu. The only person there is an equally caught off guard Sandayu and no Koyuki.

"Koyuki no!" Sandayu yells as he spots his charge standing ontop of a building staring up at the blimp with a sense of resignation.

"She slipped away while we were planning!" Naruto shouts out. "But why! Why would she do that? We're here to protect her!"

"The idiot probably didn't think we were capable." I snarl out. "Great. Now we have to get her out of this mess."

"DOTO!" Koyuki shouts up at the blimp. "I am here! Spare these people like you promised and I will willingly go with you! They don't need to die! They don't deserve to die! Not for me, not for this!" She grabs the Hexagonal Crystal that's around her neck to emphasis her point. "I have what you want. Come get it."

"You've gotta be shitting me." Shikamaru groans out. "Kakashi stop her!"

"You've got it." Kakashi takes off in a burst of unrivaled speed that kicks up snow along his path. He's not bothering to go through the building, he's running straight at the walls of it. He's going to run right up it to Koyuki.

It's a smart move, send our fastest shinobi along the quickest path to protect the package.

"No, how about you come to me?" Doto laughs over the speakers as a door opens on the blimp, revealing a minion with a metal gauntlet. The minion fires his fist at Koyuki and a long cable keeps them connected. The fist grabs Koyuki around the waist and quickly starts to reel her in. Doto is taking Koyuki aboard the blimp.

Kakashi wasn't fast enough, he couldn't get there in time.

"Oh come the fuck on!" I shout at the blimp despite no one on it being able to hear me. "Who the hell has retractable limbs!?"

~Uh… technically you do. We can totally do that too. Just saying.~

"Alvarcus." Shikamaru immediately turns to me. "You're not going to like this."

"Do I have to?" I whine out. I know exactly what he wants me to do. I really don't want to do it.

"Look on the bright side, once you get Koyuki out you'll be able to make that fireball you won't shut up about." Shikamaru points out.

"You're playing me." I accuse him. "You're using what I want against me. I know it. And you fucker it's working! DAMMIT!"

I quickly take off my coat and toss it to the ground. I'm just in a long sleeved black shirt now and I lift the back of that up too.

"What the hell are you doing?" Anko asks. "Put your damn clothes back on this is not the time or the place or the right person to do this around!"

"Shut up. I don't like ruining my clothes even if I can replace them super easily. So, what are you thinking? Two? Three?"

"The hell? Are you mad?" Anko asks me again.

"Probably, now shut up. I'm not talking to you. So two or three?"

~You're much lighter than a boulder and the distance is shorter, two will more than suffice. It's probably overkill but I'm not certain one will work. Which elements do you want to leave behind?~

"Water and earth. I need overwhelming force if I'm doing this alone so I'm bringing the three most destructive elements I can. Water is my weakest and earth is mainly defensive but as an added reason I doubt there's water and earth just hanging out on a fucking blimp. Plus I have to bring fire for this, that blimp is going to burn."

~Two it is.~

My loyal minions squelch out of my back then quickly merge into one even bigger humanoid figure. Except this humanoid figure has only one massively disproportionate arm. I quickly hop into the humongous open hand and squat down.

"Holy shit." Shikamaru says. "You're going to throw yourself at it?"

"Shut up shut up shut up! I'm already strongly against this quit making it worse for me!" I shout at the Nara. "Sureddo."

~Yes, Alvarcus?~

"Don't fucking miss." I snarl out.

The double minion rears back and the threads within it bulge as it prepares to throw me. With a mighty heave I'm thrown through the air. Thrown doesn't do it justice, I'm like a bullet. The sheer force that Sureddo put behind the toss is incredible, it's so incredible that I'm almost already to the ship after two seconds of airtime.

"SHIT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LAND?!"

CRASH

"Ouch." The konoha gang winces in sympathy as they stare at the human sized hole in the exterior wall of the carriage of the blimp.

"So… am I seeing things or did Alvarcus just go flying at the blimp?" Kakashi asks as he rejoins the group.

"Even better." Shikamaru points over his shoulder at the gigantic thread monster. "He threw himself at it."

"Wow." Kakashi looks from the monster, to the hole in the carriage of the blimp, then back to the monster. "Maybe he is crazy after all."


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