5รีวิว
- คุณภาพงานเขียน
- ความเสถียรของการอัปเดต
- การดำเนินเรื่อง
- กาสร้างตัวละคร
- พื้นหลังโลก
แบ่งปันความคิดของคุณกับผู้อื่น
เขียนรีวิว
You'd expect an epic plot, akin to "One Shall Fall, One Shall Stand" but all you get is a Clash of Clans building journey. There's no grasp of the concept of dialogue constantly resorting to wrong formatting and misuse of first person viewpoint instead of third person for his initial state. For the characters there's not enough background about them and as for the plot the protagonist backstory was that he attempted to a traverse different universe and failed, but it would have made more sense if they'd crashed on an unknown planet after the Unicorn battle, explored the planet, scavenged parts, and healed his injuries while upgrading, they even have a "system" that could have allowed for skill and information creation, tech creation and building skills. But no, the environment is left undescribed, and they dive headfirst into picking up parts with no context or details. The pacing is all over the place, missing crucial in-between moments, a disconnected series of events [Who, How, What, When, Where, Why]. The state of the planet, the protagonist's abilities, the scrap bots, the tech, and how it works – none of this is said. The sentences are either fragmented or excessively lengthy, feel out of place or not related to each other, making it hard to follow the narrative, a chaotic mess of, [In my spare time, i spent on my new decepticon army it's only a prototype at the moment it is going to replace the vehicon troopers as the main battle force of the new decepticon army if it goes to plan.] Interactions and dialogues are devoid of meaning, characters simply exchange empty words like, "Where are you?", "Send me your location", "Come to my location". The protagonist reveals unreasonable information without thinking, and everyone blindly follows him. Character descriptions are casually thrown in without any real detail "It looks like... ", "Imagine that...", no way anyone knows how they look without saying anything about their parts, body, accessories, weapons, shape. As for subsequent chapters, they're just as aimless as the first but become worse thanks to the misuse ofAI. The story lacks purpose and progression, gathering items lacks context and buildup, rendering it uninteresting. Pacing shifts abruptly from fast to a crawl with one chapter that consists of nothing but the protagonist talking to themselves and the next is slightly better but fails to give any importance to the good guys point of view and their sudden raid, and they also speak in the first person.
Rating it 5* before reading anything, will change this later on probably (if i wont forget). Leaving the 5* for villain in transformers i love this stuff. I can only hope for Decepticons or whatever his faction will be will have more "menacing" looks
I have to say, as the author, im immensely proud of this piece of work please do read this it's an absolute banger
You'd expect an epic plot, akin to "One Shall Fall, One Shall Stand" but all you get is a Clash of Clans building journey. There's no grasp of the concept of dialogue constantly resorting to wrong formatting and misuse of first person viewpoint instead of third person for his initial state. For the characters there's not enough background about them and as for the plot the protagonist backstory was that he attempted to a traverse different universe and failed, but it would have made more sense if they'd crashed on an unknown planet after the Unicorn battle, explored the planet, scavenged parts, and healed his injuries while upgrading, they even have a "system" that could have allowed for skill and information creation, tech creation and building skills. But no, the environment is left undescribed, and they dive headfirst into picking up parts with no context or details. The pacing is all over the place, missing crucial in-between moments, a disconnected series of events [Who, How, What, When, Where, Why]. The state of the planet, the protagonist's abilities, the scrap bots, the tech, and how it works – none of this is said. The sentences are either fragmented or excessively lengthy, feel out of place or not related to each other, making it hard to follow the narrative, a chaotic mess of, [In my spare time, i spent on my new decepticon army it's only a prototype at the moment it is going to replace the vehicon troopers as the main battle force of the new decepticon army if it goes to plan.] Interactions and dialogues are devoid of meaning, characters simply exchange empty words like, "Where are you?", "Send me your location", "Come to my location". The protagonist reveals unreasonable information without thinking, and everyone blindly follows him. Character descriptions are casually thrown in without any real detail "It looks like... ", "Imagine that...", no way anyone knows how they look without saying anything about their parts, body, accessories, weapons, shape. As for subsequent chapters, they're just as aimless as the first but become worse thanks to the misuse ofAI. The story lacks purpose and progression, gathering items lacks context and buildup, rendering it uninteresting. Pacing shifts abruptly from fast to a crawl with one chapter that consists of nothing but the protagonist talking to themselves and the next is slightly better but fails to give any importance to the good guys point of view and their sudden raid, and they also speak in the first person.
Rating it 5* before reading anything, will change this later on probably (if i wont forget). Leaving the 5* for villain in transformers i love this stuff. I can only hope for Decepticons or whatever his faction will be will have more "menacing" looks
I have to say, as the author, im immensely proud of this piece of work please do read this it's an absolute banger
Take my power stones and give me more .