บท 135: Nella's Questions

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~~~(POV: Nathen Opal)~~~

~~~(Location: Personal Ship, Training Room, Hyperspace)~~~

"That's the story behind the recording you watched. When I woke up in that medical room is when a lot of things changed for me. Eventually, I made some friends, and people accepted and moved on from what I did."

Master Caleb and Satele were the only ones that actually cared about me. Wanted to see me succeed. They never held my power against me. They helped me understand it.

"Caleb sounds like he's a man of great wisdom and patience. I'm surprised a Jedi would be so blunt and honest with you."

She's right about that. Master Caleb telling me it wouldn't be the last time I killed someone actually helped me never kill another person during my time as a Youngling. Looking back, it might've been some reverse psychology.

There are times I look back on the trials I underwent at the Jedi Temple. All the rancor shit I trudged through. Things would've been way different if I had my memories of my old life during that. But then, I wouldn't be the person I am now.

I'd be the Nathen from Earth. Not the Nathen from Star Wars having memories and knowledge of his time on Earth. There is a big difference.

"Master Caleb taught me everything he could about philosophy, history, and control. Not only was he a guide to help me on my journey to power, but he was also a brother."

Nella grew up as an only child. Similar to me. Having an older brother or sister in your life can help just as much as it hurts. Having Caleb fill that role made things so much better for me.

She leans back on the mats and stares at the ceiling. Thinking about something. I won't intrude in her thoughts. I don't do that to people I trust and care about. She's my cousin and my Apprentice.

"Where is Master Caleb? I'd love to meet him after we're done on Lothal."

That's something I haven't figured out. The Force normally helps me when it comes to finding people. But there is a blind spot for people I care about. Same with Lillis and Jorand. My connection to them should've made it easier to find them.

But it didn't.

I can't find Master Caleb. All I know is he's alive. Same goes for Satele. We share a bond, and we can communicate through it. But that doesn't mean I know where she's at. She's in my blind spot.

For most Force-Sensitives, it helps to find someone when you're connected to them. But for me, it's the opposite. I never figured out why when I was growing up. But it might have to do with what I am. Something about my place in the power structure might be causing it.

"I don't know where my old Master is. All I know is he's alive and out there somewhere. Last I heard, he left the Order."

I remember when Satele told me. It was a little after she took me as her Padawan. When I started to learn from her.

"Have you ever thought about trying to find him?"

Of course. Even now, I know there is a lot I could learn from the man. He'd be in his early 40s now. I wonder what he looks like.

"Yeah, but when a Jedi Master doesn't want to be found. They won't be. I've given up on trying to find him a long time ago. I figured we'll meet again when the time comes."

There is silence between us. I can sense Nella's turmoil. She's wanting to ask another question.

"Go ahead. If it's something I can answer, I'll try."

She stops looking at the ceiling and back at me.

"Since you're so powerful, have you ever thought of looking at the future? You could know what happens before it ever happens."

That's not an uncommon question among the learners of The Force. But it's a dangerous road.

"This is an important lesson, Nella."

If there was ever a time to be interested, it'd be now.

"Whenever you use The Force to look into the future. It changes. It'll spiral out of control. There were times I thought about looking into the future. But I don't want to live with the consequences of such actions."

It's irreversible. You can't unsee the future when you look into it.