Bleach System Within Bleach

LV 5

Slav_King

The story was ok until author in one of the latest chapters basically decided to NTR mc... which i strongly disapprove, NTR is a trash fetish, even if someone says its not really NTR chapter left a bad aftertaste, sooo im dropping it. ( you would say " duude its just one chapter" well it seems author want to do this more in the future so... no) P.S. im not even talking about this "ichigo" practically raping Inoue... this is wrong you cant just rape probably one of the best waifus in bleach for which i will say, Author **** you.

LV 14

choros

After reading up to chapter 40 this is what I think you should fix. First of all, you should really start to take grammar more seriously as it distracts viewers from the story. Second, please think more on the dialogue and not just make things up on the fly. I've watched Bleach before and the way you present these characters through dialogue just doesn't match up to the way you present them. I guess you could use the MC to influence them into becoming the character you portray, but it would have to be a gradual process and not just a instantaneous event..I almost forgot, Please for the love of god stop the swearing in every other conversation. It's fine if you do it to add emphasis, but you can't just keep using cuss words so frequently cause, again, it doesn't fit in with the Bleach world. And finally, please don't make this into a harem and take a step back. When I read how ICHIGO just grabbed INOUE's ass, I internally cringed cause it just came out of nowhere. But just from...interaction, I can tell that you're probably gonna do the,"Protagonist sees pretty girl and then go f**ks her in the next chapter" trope. I know you know something about how an actual relationship works, or at least how it's suppose to work so please don't just ignore common sense and/or common decency while writing about relationships. I am fully aware that at the end of the day you are the author, I am a random viewer, and anything can be whatever you want it to be when you write your story. I just always liked the concept of fanfictions, because it explores so many alternatives to original story. I have seen so many good fanfictions that just blew me away cause it went in a direction that I never even thought of; some even blew me away cause even though it went in a predictable direction it just did it beautifully. I never write reviews and I understand that this is a long rant but for some reason I find myself caring about your improvement...Oh and please stop capitalizing the characters' names; just capitalizing the first letter is enough.

LV 11

Elder

Unreasoned garbage written by a schoolboy 12 years old. To turn into something readable you need a complete recycling. Not recommended for reading in the current form.

LV 13

MiniLicht

Give it a ride first, don't eat those F.u.c.k.i.n.g retarded reviewer. Everyone has their own taste. For me, this one is an amazing piece fan-fic. And first thing first the stability of the update ^^b

LV 12

SirSnuffy

I could not get through the first chapter. This fanfiction is so sloppy and fast paced, with brief and unrealistic interactions. It's like something I would have read in elementary school to satisfy a shattered ego and a need for self insertion as the main character. The speech follows formatting that makes one think the entire chapter was a brief idea the author had in the shower and wrote down while in. Causing the ink to run and thus giving birth to all those typos and lack of cohesive flow. I would be able to look past this as English is the authors second language, would the author have created some type of exposition to explain why the mc was able to just go with it like it was normal. This alone did not give me hope for it. I had a peak at the formatting of the 48th chapter to see if it improved. And I am glad to say it did not, as that would mean I might have given the story a chance. To any one reading, should you want a bleach system in a another world, try god of soul system, it is in the one piece world a few years before the main story. Should you want any system that just is amazing, try either ultimate scheming system or the strongest system, both of which are on webnovel. Personally if you want to give it a shot, giving valiant life, which is an encyclopedia that give the owner godlike ability of a single profession per page, is a hilarious read. It being one of my new top reads, I'd strongly recommend you try it instead of wasting time on this dumpster fire.

LV 3

FiragaFiesta

Shit. That's it, no other words to describe this author and his works, all of them. Horny, Rapist, Retarded the writer can be called the result of a woman being raped by a dog with this type of content. I don't understand what people find good in this and how they call negative reviews as bad but, here's the reason. 1. It's a fanfic so him breaking story is good but, he brings back the original mc? He brings Ichigo back after taking over his body and that Ichigo becomes a sex offender? What? Basically, a ****ty sorry piece of **** mc. 2. Horny. The definition of the MC and the author. He says he tries hard, but if hard is trying to use your dick to type then it's self explanatory. Oh, and yes all his stories have that kind of horniness, if you hate Issei, don't read this because he's just Issei but worse, and that's for all his stories. 3. System. Shitty, idea of a system. Shitty idea of a system. There is no point to the story because the system is the story. Keep that in mind. 4. Messy Harem, to be honest, I have no qualms about harem or no harem, but harem as stupid as this author's brains? Bad. Don't read for harem, unless you're one of those retarded "Harem Please" assfucks. 5. Grammar. I by no means, am a totally retarded grammar Nazi but if you don't like "!!!!!?!??????!?!?" And "SEION IS A DOG!!!?!!??!???" type of **** then go away, this author can't stop his caps fetish. Grammar is hard for everyone but this guy might just be decently nice, if he didn't have the imagination of a 3 year old dog and the worse use of (!) (?) in the entire site. 6. Does he get better? I wouldn't know, I didn't bother reading more than a few 70 - 100ish chaps. Oh, and yes I've read his other stories from FT to DxD to Danmachi. All are **** and no, I don't think he got better, he's not a specialized dog breed, he's an askal. 7. What about the good reviews? As you can see, they're all spams by retarded dogs and bird brains, you don't see any of the specially famous writers or reviewers giving this praise, nor do you see someone with decent brains tell us why it's good. This novel and all by its author is cat****, the protectors of this novel might just be the dog author making different accounts and fighting against us. There's no good in me antagonizing this guy but his fall from the ranks is only normal, why? Because he is a **** author and his ****ty writing didn't appeal to the majority of readers, especially female ones. Don't compare this to E.P.I.C, that is a justified, amazing fanfic. This is a chaotically justified ****ty fanfic created by a mongrel author. Females be warned White Knights be warned Good people be warned Intellectuals be warned Cool people be warned Peeps with Common Sense be warned This is ****. Every person who liked this is in need of help. My opinion and don't bother replying with your barks and growls Seion. I don't talk animal language. Oh, and yes. There is NTR, borderline rape, **** all romance (too **** to be actually called one) if that helps you stay away from this. I'm no decent author nor a decent person but if someone like me recognizes something like this as bad, then it is bad. Again, my opinion and you can believe it or punish your eyes to read this. I'm just trying to help others by keeping them away from this thing.

LV 14

Ikkarus

This author definitely has a retardeed genes, like how tf did you creat a fanfic this bad? It’s actually impressive, i normally don’t review or bash novels i read, but this...i don’t even wanna say anything, just don’t waste your time reading this, the only good thing about this novel is it has lots of chapters

LV 4

Docvgv

Quest - Main Get the reader frustrated and absorb the negative energies!? Quest - Successful. Honestly, Fan-fictions can be whatever the writer wants, but I think this book dosen't have any proper continuation, rapid and indistinguishable time-skips, and no proper characters, they are all 1-D CHARACTERS. sorry caps on. Fact - Only the writer in his fragmented writings can truly understand the story, It maybe a great story or not, but we have no way to know, and that's the mystery.

LV 6

DarkDaoist

i would've given zero stars if it was possible, it's wish fulfillment *** fantasy where all bleach characters are butchered and turned into a mix of psychotic, giggling, childish, yes men.

LV 11

Zerak

so don't read all those reviews that are written around the early chapters. there is no NTR. it just looks like it is at first till you read a bit further and you realise it was a misunderstanding. the story is 3/7 wish fulfilment (making a harem) and 4/7 story. the way the story is played out is very interesting and refreshing to read. and the power balance is done very well. (though at the start its a bit confusing since the author using "." instead of "," making 1k look like 1.000 instead of 1,000) the chapter length is somewhat short but there are 2 or more chapters a day so that makes up for it. the grammar isn't the best but it is just minor mistakes most of the time. I recommend giving this novel a shot and see for your self instead of looking at a few ****y reviews.

LV 14

Robertp3001

The story is pretty bad. I'm not complaining about a Bleach fan-fiction but the general quality is unreadable. The MC is beyond a pervert past sexual harassment and bordering rape. Not quite rape yet but he's pretty bad. Also you have to be a major fan of the show to read this. I can understand if some things aren't explained because they are common sense in the show but this goes way beyond that. You need to have in depth knowledge of the Bleach Universe to read this. There will be no world building or explanations. It's written under the assumption that you know every little detail. TLDR: Even for a fan-fiction this is pretty bad.

LV 14

Doge_Blade

Badbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbad MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE, NTR IS SHIT, IF YOUR GOING TO PUT HIM IN ICHIGO, MAKE IT GO BY LIKE 2 CHAPTERS EXPLAINING AND LEADING UP TO IT, AND DONT LET HIM TAKE OCER THE MC’S BODY AND SHIT SHITTY AUTHOR

LV 4

JaxWolf4

Holy ****, I saw all of the bad reviews and wanted to still give it a shot. It was a great idea but you managed to do it the ****tiest way possible. It has horrible grammar and seems like it was written by a 5-year-old with little grammar knowledge. I like the idea man, but I would consider restarting the series or rewriting in a wayyyyy higher quality to fix this garbage.

LV 15

FluffyButt

Noticed that I was close to lvl5 decided to give it to bleach woot woot. Great series, can't wait to see what happens next. Definitly cant stop reading, before the bath sceen.

LV 3

System_LookingGuy

Author I am a fan of yours but please 😭😭🙏🙏🥺don't forget the danmachi one I'm still reading this and I don't want it to get cliffhang please also stay healthy man you sure are very a hard working one 😏😏 💪

LV 15

ArgosYesu

Grammar, depth of understanding toward original characters, basic understanding toward writing scenes and plot, power growth, any care for quality. I give them all extremely low marks. It’s riddled with issues like excessive and incorrect use of capitalization and punctuation marks that seriously detract from the story. It isn’t an issue if you say the system speaks in all caps or something, but only having the first letter capitalized is a headache to read. Then you have characters scream in all caps every chapter AND use “!” in the tens to show they’re screaming incredibly loud... feels like a mess. Please pop open a wiki or even a chapter of the manga and take one or two notes on how the characters speak. Urahara screaming like the bratty MC is complete ****. Ichigo acting like a twisted freak is even worse. Then you just plain call the MC as “MC” in the narrative...

LV 11

isaqueramos

Hahahaha! This version of bleach is much better than the original work written by Tite Cubo, with a truly male protagonist who honors the desire of men, impregnating the hottest women of the anime, without spoiling the fantastic plot that the author created based on the original story of Bleach.

LV 10

GodsDragon

Good fanfic, has a few rough spots but overall tells a very fun story and you can tell the author is getting better as time goes on. I have high hopes that given some time this author will make something great :D

LV 4

NotLastApril

I feel uncomfortable with how author bring ichigo into the story not just replace him outright, and after system update I'm glad I drop this, if you comfortable with how ichigo do things maybe this fanfic is for you but not for me. I like the story before ichigo come out.... This is just my opinion, my thoughts about the fanfic

LV 6

TFH

Well... Let's start, first, the grammar, it's 4/10, the author fails to use proper use of commas and has grammatical mistakes in every chapter which makes the reader having a difficult time trying to understand what he is reading. This is about my mayor problem as using a grammar checker online to fix grammatical mistakes can improve the story 10 times. About the novel?? well i fkng enjoyed it as i had to read all current chapters in a few days. As for the ***** content, it needs to be written in more details, or make it better in general which a few times it makes it seem that the MC had sex and finished all things in just a few mins, not having sexual stamina at all as its written that he finished in a few min... Few minutes refers to less than 5 or so i believe. As for the story? it was well written, making use of every element of bleach and mix them up pretty well. My only complaint its about Rangiku Matsumoto as she accepts Sora way to fast in my opinion as they had only few interactions that can be counted with 1 hand... Finally... PLS give us a YoruichiXMCxSoi FonXLisa PD: Dude, if you finish this novel when the MC goes up to a higher realm i will despise you for eternity, you can very well make a really good novel once MC goes up to the third realm with the group