Reviews of Naruto: The Mist Within by ItoKun - Webnovel

I like your story author. However, since his father's death you are showing how Ren is creating boundaries and "using" his friends, watching everything with indifference. I understand that after a close person's death people needs time to heal and all. But the idea of not having bonds because they are weakness and using everyone, always seeing things with indifference is soon going to be the same as literally 99% other fanfics where authors think that is somehow the best option. Without bonds soon the character will feel mechanical and like no emotional intelligence. It also wouldn't create hooks, tension while particularly tricky situations unfold. Forgive me if i seemed like ranting, but a lot of authors make their character cold, indifferent, dark, etc etc. and not always it makes sense. Especially here he felt love with his parents, had friends. Instead of weakness it could be shown as powerful motivation to not loose them and improve more. The other characters could also have significant growth, and together with Ren, could dunno have more impact than just some one man show. Just my opinion that can make the story more engaging and real. Nobody will become Madara level powerful by the time they are in early teens. You said so that realistic growth will be there. Rivalry, and helping each other grow is sorta more feasible than one dude becoming a mechanical machine and training non stop and using everyone to bis advantage for years until he feels ready to face the world, which can take decade and still me me tally sane. I jst wanted to convey my thoughts, as i wouldn't have bothered writing so much if i hadn't been hooked. The chapters of bonding and the subsequent couple chapter where Toshiro died and the funeral and all, how he said his mother doesn't need to be strong all the time, how his mother and father met, all these were really nice, i actually felt the emotions. In anycase, good luck with your story.