Avirup_Das

Well said, only people enlightened solely by social media can spout such drivel. But not that surprising. perhaps you could try your hand at stand up, might take you ages to get good enough to actually be funny but you got talent.

I like your story author. However, since his father's death you are showing how Ren is creating boundaries and "using" his friends, watching everything with indifference. I understand that after a close person's death people needs time to heal and all. But the idea of not having bonds because they are weakness and using everyone, always seeing things with indifference is soon going to be the same as literally 99% other fanfics where authors think that is somehow the best option. Without bonds soon the character will feel mechanical and like no emotional intelligence. It also wouldn't create hooks, tension while particularly tricky situations unfold. Forgive me if i seemed like ranting, but a lot of authors make their character cold, indifferent, dark, etc etc. and not always it makes sense. Especially here he felt love with his parents, had friends. Instead of weakness it could be shown as powerful motivation to not loose them and improve more. The other characters could also have significant growth, and together with Ren, could dunno have more impact than just some one man show. Just my opinion that can make the story more engaging and real. Nobody will become Madara level powerful by the time they are in early teens. You said so that realistic growth will be there. Rivalry, and helping each other grow is sorta more feasible than one dude becoming a mechanical machine and training non stop and using everyone to bis advantage for years until he feels ready to face the world, which can take decade and still me me tally sane. I jst wanted to convey my thoughts, as i wouldn't have bothered writing so much if i hadn't been hooked. The chapters of bonding and the subsequent couple chapter where Toshiro died and the funeral and all, how he said his mother doesn't need to be strong all the time, how his mother and father met, all these were really nice, i actually felt the emotions. In anycase, good luck with your story.

In writing comedy is not easy to pull off. The author clearly has this aspect mastered. My only gripe is how he is doing wandless magic, then just combined magic. Wands are a big part of Harry potter lore and while wandless magic for relatively simple stuff is possible for powerful wizards like Dumbles and voldy, they still rely on their wands. So whenever any fanfics put in their mc doing wandless magic while still in their school days ( i remember there was a next level fic where the mc was four or five years old and wandlessly did patronous charm. lol) it just breaks the immersion for me, being a huge potterhead and all. Still excluding that the story is funny.

I like the start. The mc seems to be slightly bookish and soft spoken. But thats a good thing i feel. I jst think that when u started u implied the mc had been a person who came to terms with his solitude after he started reading books. Just my opinion, but maybe try to add some relations and bonds slowly, as that will root him in this reality than thinking about the world as a book, while also adding depth to the story. Also (my opinion again) please dont make the Mc super powerful and be able to do stuff that grown wizards cant do by the time he is halfway into his first year. Doesn't make sense and breaks the immersion totally. Maybe because of his love for books and all he will be rsther erudite and a bit ahead of the curve, like some spells of one year in advance. Not too much. Potions are severely underratted so you can maybe make the mc explore that or other magical fields( that amkes sense). please dont make the mc master alchemy and runes by the time he is first year. As j said before, it doesn't make sense and breaks immersion. And lastly, just my opinion again, based on the vibe the mc gave, he seemed kind hearted. Please dont change that. Too many fics for some reason make Dumbledore into some villan and there is a growing trend of making villan mc, who will do anything, no proper relationships or motives that explain his drive except that they look at the world as if its a game, and do random stuff, sometimes evil. Without proper buildup showing all that, breaks immersion and seems dumb (just my opinion). In any case all the best for your story. Its not easy to create something, and i eidh you success in your endeavors.

This is freaking awesome !! I just wish there were around 500 chapters to binge on :) Keep up the good work author san

This is really good!! I wish there were hundreds of chapters :) Please keep up the good work author san

Hands down one of the best stories i have read.