Capítulo 90: Chapter 90
"That's it, let's kill this idiot! Muhuhahahahahaha!"Doc talks diabolically, and continues to laugh maniacally... I guess that's O'Malley or it was Omega....
"I want to know why are all of you in my house?" I turn to look at Tex and ask, watching as Grif begins to steal several snacks and Donut begin to collect I think shoujo mangas... I can accept that at the moment.
"We civilian, are here on a very important mission! Simmons explain the mission!" Sarge yells.
'Hmmm they all have a 'low' level (60 - 75) except for Tex (135)... well their armor must make them stronger, and they have a big disparity in their AGI and DEX compared to their other statuses... .how the hell Church has 1 DEX and Caboose has -8 INT.....'
"Ahh... ummm yes, hi, my name is Richard Simmons and we come from the past... and well we destroyed the present there... sorry about that.... so can you tell us how the future ended up like this?" Hmmm.... okay, so they are at that point in the timeline...?
"There are so many things wrong with that question that I really don't even want to think about it... first you couldn't destroy the present... at most you destroyed the past." I answer to distract them while I try to remember the apocalypse that Grif said...
"I told you idiots!" Tucker yell front the movies shelf.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Sarge let's do my skit now! So he will understand what happened!" Donut comes towards us quickly, and I start to see how they start insulting each other and arguing about some stupid play... Wait, I think I remember that... was the bullshit about what the past, present and future explaining right?
After arguing among themselves a little, everyone moves positions and begins to do a very poorly acted routine to explain what happened.... And I have to admit... it's actually funnier to see it in person than on the screen hahahaha... although I can see someone who is not so entertained by this...
"Hahahaha, all of you are funny... whisper* do they have a type of mental problem?* By the way Leonhard at your service..." I turn and give my hand to Tex, who just sees me and takes it, sighing.
"Tex, and unfortunately yes, although they are not bad people..." BANG* BANG* BANG* BANG*. I turn around as 4 shots pass around me from a sniper rifle of Church...
"Hey you! Hands off my girlfriend! Those were just warning shots!" Church yells at me... this is going to be a long day...
"Yeah... I'm starting to like them..." I answered with the most neutral voice I could produce and thanks to the mask it came out very well.
"Yes... warning shots....that's what she said." Tucker says before starting to laugh along with Gif and shortly later Caboose joins them too.
"Hahahaha I don't know why we are laughing Hahaha!!" Yeah... that's Caboose... but before we can continue we hear a scream.
"Leonhard I heard gunshots are you okay!" From inside the house a woman's voice is heard... it's not like I hadn't noticed her approaching before but clearly Cha Hae-In was prepared to help me whenever necessary.
And I don't blame her, suddenly more than half a dozen armed guys in power armor enter your house, clearly you can't underestimate them, and even more so when I'm among them and being next to Tex who clearly has me at her mercy....
"It's okay dear! Just some people who need help! You do not have to worry!" I raise my voice and speak to Cha Hae-In, who decided not to return her own home and sleep here today... I also turn to see the others making signs to follow what I said...
"Ummm yes ma'am, We are just a group of super lethal soldiers.... that didn't sound very good..." Donut try to speak...
"Sorry ma'am, sorry for the inconvenience, I'll take care of the demonic blue idiot right now!" BANG* I see how Sarge fires his shotgun at Church missing the target...
"Hey jackass! Just because I´m a ghost doesn't mean you can do that!" Church, fires his sniper again... BANG* BANG* BANG* BANG*, missing all his shots again... it seemed like it would turn into a shootout...
I quickly see how Tex turns around, and defends herself from a blow that throw her back, and Cha Hae-In appears at front of me raising her sword to do the rest of the idiots that now are pointing their weapons at her... at least she also put on the gas mask that I put in front of her when I saw her coming to the store.
"Wow that chick kicked Bitch-pants McCrabby ass!" says Tucker as he points us with his plasma sword...
"I thought you were alone here!" Tex points her rifle at me, like the rest of them... well Grif not, he is more busy eating all the candy and Tucker is looking at the porn mags that I put there, I try to raise my shotgun too but Cha Hae-In covers me with her body.... Why is everyone being overprotective of me today?
"Sigh... this is stupid... besides you never asked if I was alone, you didn't even ask for my name until I told you... even now I only officially known the name of Richard and Tex." I try to get in front of Cha Hae-In again but she won't let me... so I have to use drastic tactics "Dear, lower your sword and get behind me.... " I can see a little tremor when I call her dear, but she doesn't move. In addition to hearing someone asking who Richard is...
"You're hurt Leonhard... you shouldn't even have gotten out of bed, so I'm not going to let you fight these people alone... not again...." For a moment I had to read her thoughts and no, she is not in love with me.... a woman is really foolish and stubborn in occasions... well maybe all the time...
'Although I don't really know how to tell her... only Tex is dangerous, the rest of them... they'll be lucky if they don't kill each other again or themselves, by the way, where Caboose is, he's not here...' That sets off alarm bells in my mind, Caboose is the only idiot here who is really dangerous...
"Pshhh... Pshhh, Church... Church... Church... Church... CHURCH!" I hear him talking in low voice increasing it more as he say the name, I turn around and see him behind the counter, calling everyone's attention...
"WHAT CABOOSE!? IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED WE HAVE A DANGEROUS SITUATION HERE!" Church yells back.
"I- have a plannnnn... I will hide here secretly and attack them when they get distracted!" Caboose explains his plan very slowly.
"That plan could have worked if you didn't shout it DUMBASS!!" Church shout back...
"Oh, you're right Church!" Caboose says and for reasons I don't even want to begin to understand, he takes a curtain and covers his head with it... "Now I'm invi-in... I can't see myself... where is EVERYONE!?"
"Typical of the blues! Grif come here, go forward and block the lady sword with your body! Once you do I'll shoot you with my shotgun!" Sarge yell at Grif the orange guy.
"And how would that help get out of this situation, Sir?"Grif asks, even though we already know the answer.
"You don't see it! I will not shoot a lady! I can't do that! So I need to shoot at your body so she can know we are serious about it, with the terror that it will generate we can defeat her! I'd get rid of your lazy ass and they will fear us! Everybody wins!" Sarge begins to tell his ridiculous plan.... how can anyone even think...
"I like it! Let's do it!" Of course Caboose will like it...
"Hmmm, I prefer the option where I don't get shot or stabbed... can't we just put down our weapons and just keep talking?" Grif say, but he is more focused in the playboy magazine...
And again they start arguing among themselves, although Tex and Cha Hae-In have not stopped glaring each other? At least that's what their thoughts say they do... it's really difficult to know what they think without being able to see their expressions... next to me Doc approaches... tensing Cha Hae-In
"Huh...if you're hurt I could check you out, after all it's my job...I guess." Doc says as he put his hand of his head.....
"No. And move that plasma gun away from my body...." I raise my shotgun, which by the way doesn't really work, and point it at him.
"No, no, no, this is a Medical Scanner, one of the most advanced equipment of the UNSC, if it shines green I will be able to know if you have any illness..." Doc tries to explain, but as I remember... I think they don't even know what the hell that plasma gun is.
"I thought it lights up green to indicate flesh wounds." Church asks when he hears Doc speak.
"Yeah for just about everything... but it depends on the type of green that appears, it takes a while to figure out the difference, that's why we take so long to complete the medical school.... it also treats psychological problems, he points it at Church... "Like this green, indicates a high level of anger stemming from suppressed feelings of inadequacy."
"If that thing keeps talking bad about me, I'm gonna fucking smash it!" Church yell.
"And this green means impotency. Oops, actually that green causes impotency! My bad Church. Huhahaha, yes...." Wait is Doc still being 'possessed' by Omega? Then why are they all together... what was the last time that happened...?
"And that's why I'll never let you examine me!" I quickly say and take Cha Hae-In to get away from Doc... "And to answer your question... the world ended due to some nuclear attack... that disrupted the Earth's magnetic field causing massive blackouts... "
"Hahahaha nail it fuckers! That is the moment where the super bacteria was released causing the humans who died to revive 12 hours later as zombies." Grif starts to boast.
"Oh come on, that's impossible." Simmons says while laughing a little.
"In fact... it was 24 hours... and it wasn't suddenly, it lasted about 2 or 3 weeks, I'm lucky that she knows about engineering and I was an agronomist, so we have survived since then... but why do you ask if you know it already?" I remember now... it was when Tucker gave birth to his little bastard right? After that they kill O'Malley in the ship along Tex at the end of the season....
"Wait, what?" Simmons can only ask while the rest shut up and listen to me.
"In fact, up to that point everything was going perfectly, we were lucky to find some ultraviolet lights and a geothermal generator, so we were able to operate our underground shelter, until the meteorite fell 2 months ago..." At this moment I even feel Cha Hae-In's questioning gaze.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait, If zombies exist... how come we haven't found any until now?" Simmons he asks, really confused by what's happening.
"The meteor killed them! And the zombie bacteria It was infected by alien bacteria brought by the meteor, and was wiped out in a massive bacteria on bacteria plague." Grif says.
"Wait that happened? That explains why the zombie simply stopped appearing.... How are things outside? After what happened you are the first people we have seen... we really thought there was only us left..." I quickly ask, continuing with my play...
"ENOUGH!!" Tex apparently can't continue with this idiocy anymore. "Tell me who you are and what you're doing here!" I was thinking of continuing with my charade but Cha Hae-In hits me on the head.
"Stop playing with them Leonhard! Tell them what they want and go back to rest! You shouldn't be moving yet..." Cha Hae-In takes off her mask and looks at me annoyed...
"Wow, hello the beauty... you want to see some swords tricks?" I know what being on the front lines for so long does to you, but Tucker is really desperate for female attention.
"I don't really know what they want, they just came in and destroyed my shop... and you stop that." I tell Caboose who continues to break some boxes. And this time I pick up Cha Hae-In and put her behind me as she let out a little kya shout.
I just see how they start to look at each other, not knowing what to say or do...? And I lose sight of Caboose again, so I quickly start looking around and see him near the weapons hanging on the wall... Now that I see it well... he is carrying a metal sphere... wait...
"You brought a bomb to my store..." I quickly back away carrying Cha Hae-In. "Take what you want! But get that bomb out of here!"
"I'm a Explosive-American, Shisno!" A voice is heard coming from Caboose
"I'm not a piece of shit bastard! And if you talk to me with that tone again I can easily disable you!!" Once I say that everyone stays quiet, watching me. "What?"
"Do you know what Shisno means?" Tucker ask.
"It's the first time that someone doesn't question my existence...." Andy the bomb for its part, became somewhat emotional.
"Shisno is a horrible fecal matter from some horrible alien race, you don't want to know, and why should I question you? It's not the first time I've encountered weapons with ego, they are not common but occasionally you can find them." While I continue talking to the bomb, the rest of the team just look at each other... is that so surprising?
"Are there more like me? I would like to meet them! By the way I'm Andrew The Bomb nice to meet you!!" Andy sounds very excited so much that a red light started flashing...
"Less excited place Andy, less excited place!" Church screams at the side of the bomb.
"We have to figure out how to get out of here! The Alien Army is on its way!" Simmons yells front the door.
"Wait, where is Lopez?" Donut ask I really don't want to think why he have a Yaoi manga in his hand....
"Lopez decided to stop the enemy on his own, giving us all time to make a strategic retreat! He is a true man among men. " Sarge says in an longing voice while looking at the horizon? That's just a wall in my store...
"Lopez was a robot." Grif says.
"What do you say private?" Grif can only sigh...
"Lopez was a robot, Sir." Grif says.
"He was much more human than you dumbnut! Te extrañare amigo, adios" Sarge continue to talk at the wall...
"Hmmm, why... You know I'm not interested, what are the enemies you face?" As I speak I take out Sarah's egg from my inventory. "Sarah, There is someone here who wants to talk to you, I also wanted to ask you where you want to go?"
"Lord....? Hmmm, I would like to see some strange world, if it is not possible I will be happy to return to Midgard." Apparently Sarah is still tired as she is respectful of me, she appears next to me and apparently no one can see her, well Cha Hae-In seems to be able to perceive her but she can't see her.
"!! It's great to meet another creature like me! I'm Andrew the bomb, nice to meet you!" Sarah turns to look at me and I nod.
"Sarah Irine.... Valkyrie of Leonhard." After that I can watch as Andy starts talking to her... the boy... bomb really needs someone to talk to... plus he's lucky Sarah isn't acting like a bitch. The rest of them only see the two balls talk themselves.
"What? Didn't expect an orb that could talk?" I ask them and I start to hear knocking on the door, I look at the camera and outside is Lopez hitting it.
"Abran la puerta pedazos de mierda! (Open the door pieces of shit)." At this everyone seems surprised, Simmons wants to open the door but the others stop him.
"Stop how do we know he is Lopez and hasn't been possessed by someone else? It could even be the aliens using Lopez's voice to trick us!" Grif explains.
"Voy a matarte mientras duermes estúpido flojo! Si no abren la puerta les prometo un futuro lleno de dolor y sufrimiento! (I'm going to kill you while you sleep lazy asshole! If you don't open the door I promise you a future full of pain and suffering!)" Lopez talk and continue to bang the door.
For their part I see that the idiots start arguing again about letting Lopez inside or not... I'm just holding them back to get the technology from the Halo universe, on the other hand I see how Andy continue talking with Sarah, he is narrating the places he has see and the fight between the Covenant and the UNSC in the galaxy, and the Valkyrie seems very interested in that, I need to free the others Valkyries too, Tex and Cha Hae-In also start to talk to each other too.... That would clearly end in a catfight...
20 minutes have passed and the idiots don't seem to stop, I even opened the door to Lopez 10 minutes ago... so really mentally exhausted I decide to get this over with, moving behind the counter I open a 'secret hiding place', which only caught the attention of Tex, Lopez, Andy, Cha Hae -In and Sarah who come after me and see the enormous amount of ammunition inside.
Something interesting about my system store is that none of the weapons work, even a fucking knife, but I can buy whatever amount of ammo and magazines I want, of course I can't buy ammo for the Little Boy of Fallout or similar but things but that is to be expected. Although I also discovered that I can buy the blueprints to assemble them and they should work that way.
"Tex, the only thing I can offer you is ammunition, entertainment, food and water. Take what you need, if you can give me some weapons I would be grateful. Now can you tell me against what are you fighting? The Covenant?" I ask her since she is the most likely to be able to answer, although to my surprise Lopez speaks first.
"Una especie de monstro insectoide, parecido a una mantis... aunque no se para que hablo nadie puede entenderme... (A species of insectoid, mantis-like monster... although I don't know what I'm talking about, no one can understand me...)" Lopez complains as he starts taking ammo.
'That sound like Arachnids or Zerg? Wait... this is an alternate universe? Since I never heard anything about insectoid monsters in Halo... something fishy is going on here.....'
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