"Still eating pointless food?" Magnus sat down at the edge of the Ravenclaws table, smirking when he saw a certain girl ever so green plate.
"Still being an insensitive prick?" Padma shot back without so much as a look, "And how many do I have to tell you it's not pointless? It's great for digestion, not to mention the nice figure I'll get…"
"Argue as much as you want, you're still eating grass." He said, shrugging when she glared a hole at his face.
It was the truth, there was something fundamentally wrong with people who refused to eat meat.
Meat is life!
He made a point of stuffing his plate with a healthy serving of over baked chicken breast, maintaining eye contact all the while.
"Prat."
He wasn't even going to humor her with an answer.
'What kind of weak ass insult is this? I demand a well thought out, thorough roast of my character!'
It was an odd hill to die on, but Magnus has never been the sanest bird in the nest.
"You've got some sand on your shoulders." A very small, red-faced asian girl called to him, her voice little more than whisper.
"Oh, thanks." He nodded, and the sand moved away as if possessing a will of its own, a sight that would have surely disturbed a certain renegade jedi to no end.
'Still better than Jar Jar Binks.'
"You know, I think it's good that you're making an effort these days."
"I thought I was a prat?" He raised a brow, looking at his Indian friend who decided to forgive his honest and objectively truthful review of her alimentation.
"You are," She nodded, smiling in appreciation, "But you used to be an absentee, scarcely seen prat. Now you eat with us every other day, that's quite the improvement."
"You're becoming more normal, Magnus."
He didn't know whether he should thank her or curse her, but a certain chipmunk decided to spare him the trouble and take justice in her own hands.
"Just because you eat like a sheep doesn't mean you should think like one, Padma." Little Luna said without a moment of hesitation.
She didn't mean to hurt the girl, but was merely stating her honest opinion, which only made the burn that much fiercer.
"Normal is boring." She said, and he couldn't help but agree with the peculiar witch.
"Does it mean I can go back to being a dedicated adept of deep work?" He smiled.
"…More like an asocial recluse." Padma muttered under her breath, but he ignored her, she was in roasted prison after all.
He didn't make the rules, but he sure had a blast enforcing them.
"Nope." Luna chirped, a knowing smile on her face. "We both know you're only doing this because Fleur asked you~"
That made him pause.
Partly because a certain flower had been very lacking from his life lately, too busy with her heavy workload since she had to deal with both school and the second task.
Not to mention the arrival of her parents, and possibly her little sister, he knew she missed them dearly and would loathe to cut in their time because he was being needy.
But mostly because neither he nor Fleur were in the habit of telling people about their private discussions.
'How did this little clusterfluff acquire such sensible information?'
He planned a thorough investigation of the little girl's guesswork, and the limits of her dreadful insights on the details of his sentimental life.
No, he wasn't being paranoid, you're the paranoid one!
In the meantime, however, he had to deal with the curious look his two girls who happened to be his friends gave him.
'How should I tell them to mind their own business this time?' He thought, before pausing, 'Hm? That's curious…'
It wouldn't be wrong to say he felt a disturbance in the force.
A more exact description would be a shift in the localized mana flow, something that was usually followed by spatial displacement of some sort. Rather dangerous, but considering the sturdy wards all over the castle…
The conclusion was rather obvious.
Surely enough, a burst of fire appeared in front of him making quite a few people yelp in fright. Mostly foreign students and younger ones, still unused to this school's more than eccentric workings.
It disappeared swiftly enough, leaving behind a slightly warm letter with a familiar seal.
'Yup, that's Dumbledore.'
The boy grabbed the letter, making sure to appear calm and nonchalant as if he'd expected this random event.
'Appearances were important, why else would the old goat nail his so fucking hard?'
Magnus might not like the man, but he has to admit, Dumbledore's got style.
"You're in trouble?" Padma asked, looking rather worried.
Luna on the other hand, seemed really excited to hear more about his troublesome misadventures with authority figures.
'That's my girl.' He had the urge to pat her head, and he did just that.
Something deep inside told he had just made thousands of people very satisfied with that one gesture.
So he did it again.
"I don't think so," He said, and that was a lie. "Maybe the headmaster just wants to congratulate me on my outstanding work?"
'Yeah, and my math teacher just wanted to have a little chat with me in his car.'
In any case, it was enough to appease his more standard minded friend.
With that done, he finished what little was left of his lunch to heed the old bearded man's summons, he considered going to Flitwick but ultimately thought better.
His head of house had been unreliable in the best of days, he wouldn't trust him now that he was tired and beat over highly problematic societal issues of all things.
Magnus walked through the corridors, taking a twist here and a turn there. Passed through some paths so dark none would guess it was still noon, took more than a few shortcuts till he reached the gargoyle vigil in front of Headmaster Dumbledore's office.
Many thoughts passed through his head at the time, which allowed in consideration of the intense Occlumency he shall use once he saw the most troublesome old bones since the birth of Hiruzen Sarutobi.
'Did he finally decide I was falling to the dark side?' He wondered, 'It was the sand, it must have been the sand on my clothes. He saw it and had divine visions of Anakin's version of birth control.'
He stepped forward to the gargoyle, but this time the headmaster didn't see fit to open it on his own, a quick look at the letter showed him the newest candy inspired password the headmaster selected in his infinite wisdom.
"…There's no way I'm gonna say that." He read it mentally and winced, was this shit even real?
Unfortunately, the gargoyle had little care for his not at all inflated ego and staunch refusals to stoop down to Dumbledore's level.
*sigh*
"Alright,"—Magnus looked at the statue with scorn—"Baby ruth."
He didn't brood all the way up the staircase, but he does plead guilty of using the mind arts to clear his expression and plaster a comfortable smile on his face.
He had access to what is essentially a cheat code for all aspects of his life, why on earth wouldn't he use it to the fullest?
No, Billy, using it to the 'fullest' does not involve emotionally and mentally influencing pretty women into having an intense and extremely toxic relationship with him.
That would qualify as a certain four letter word, and it isn't good.
Just as he was about to knock, the door opened on its own leaving him standing awkwardly with his hand half raised.
"Ah, Magnus," Dumbledore chuckled good naturally, which would have at least helped remove his worries if not for a tiny little detail. "Thank you for coming on such short notice."
He wasn't worried at all.
"Headmaster." He fixed his posture, his smile right back on his face making one of the study's other occupants giggle.
Yes, this new meeting was not private.
'Fleur.' Was the first thing he thought, looking at a silver blonde haired witch sitting in the transfigured sofa next to a grizzled haired man with a stubble that screamed 'I want to look more serious than I truly am.'
What on earth was his sweet flower doing in the old goat's office? Was she in trouble?
Then his vision shifted to the identical minus sized copy sitting on the other side of the sofa, looking at him with big blue eyes and giggling every now and then.
She was sitting in that one universal position invented and reinvented by all mischievous children through the ages, knees on the sitting pillow and holding the backrest in her tiny hands.
'Little Fleur?'
Their eyes met, and she blushed wildly, hiding behind the conjured furniture much to the older men's amusement; he'd join in on the fun if he wasn't that confused.
It didn't last long however.
Before the elderly could enjoy some fun at his expense, he had already processed the situation well enough to know what was happening and where it was heading.
*sigh*
'I can already feel a headache coming.' He looked to the smiling old man in starry purple robes, and to the small little thing that just took hold of Luna's spot as the most adorable mascot imaginable by virtue of existing.
Magnus resigned himself, his life was bound to be troublesome.
"I'll do it." He said seemingly on a whim, the more mature version of Fleur and her male companion seemed as troubled as they were surprised, the little angel's emotions were too cute to be discerned by mortals like him.
As for Dumbledore, he only grinned like a proud grandfather seeing his ward doing the right thing, a sight he was rather familiar with.
'Manipulative old goat,' He cursed in his head, but he couldn't help but admire the Supreme Mugwump's play. 'This is emotional blackmail,'
What was the proud grandfatherly smile for? He was Magnus black goddamnit! He should be suspected of dark magicks and darker goals, not whatever it is that was happening in Dumbledore's senile mind.
"Did you inform him first, Monsieur Dumbledore?" The man was the first to take in stride, old bones notwithstanding.
"No Sébastien, I am much too old to cheat in such a way, Mr. Black must have figured this out on his own." Dumbledore's smile grew, watching the frenchman grumble a few curses before being chided by his wife.
Magnus took note of that.
'So that's where Fleur picked her filthy mouth.'
Beyond future ammunition he'd only use to relentlessly tease Fleur without bringing any damage to her self-esteem, as per the rules he was starting to learn, the boy picked up two other facts that helped solve this little puzzle.
The man's name was Sebastien.
And these two geezers had the gall to bet on his reaction.
"Yes, I know about the second task, I also know a a little girl has no business getting friendly with merpeople down there." He looked at the two adults, trying to see why on earth they'd think it was a good idea.
If they would even do it here, he had spent enough time in this new world to know that Rowling's works were hardly more than rough drafts of reality, one he had twisted and shaped with his mere existence.
Yes, these two people were Fleur Delacour's parents.
"Je ne suis pas petite!" The living fluff who could only be Gabrielle, his flower's beloved little sister, said once her father got roped into translation duties. "J'ai 10 ans et demi, Mr. Noir."
(trad: I am not little, I have 10 years and a half Mr. Noir.)
Not that he blamed him, she was that cute.
"No, you are not," He replied in her language, much to her delight, but noticed that neither of her parents were surprised. "It's still very dangerous, your sister would be very worried."
'So they know about me, huh.'
The thought made him more happy than it should.
"She would worry about you too, Magnus." She said, as if it was obvious.
And that inflicted some critical damage on the scion of Black.
Yeah, there was no way he'd let her go down there alone in the cold, not when Albus third-floor Dumbledore was in charge of security.
-Author Note:
Hey guys! It's Uncle Sheo!
Back with a new chapter, I apologize for the delay, but traveling by train every single day is much harder than anime would make you believe.
Shout out to Thief from our discord server for this one, kept me entertained along with our resident distraction and good ol' Crimson who might or might not have threatened to kidnap me…yep, he pulled a Tobi.
Word Count: 2089 words
(This Chapter is dedicated to the literal flood that messed up my schedule)
'Why on earth would any sane, merlin fearing parents ever let their daughter take an enchanted nap in the watery down below?'
Magnus couldn't help but wonder, and somewhat marvel at the sheer casual insanity of the magical world and its people.
With that level of self-preservation, it was all but a miracle that their kind survived this long, especially with so much power at their fingertips.
He'd ask them about it too, though he'd need to keep his revulsion in check; irresponsible fools or not, they were Fleur's parents and alienating them wouldn't serve his purposes.
'But the headmaster's here, and it wouldn't be wise to start badmouthing that bloodsport in front of him.' He thought, especially now that he didn't think he was the second coming of his long lost lover.
Or at least it seemed so.
'Wait, Grindelwald is still alive at this point.' His inner Ravenclaw supplied, 'I should keep this in mind, it wouldn't hurt to pay him a visit once goat fucker is no longer a problem.'
If Dumbledore's morality was flimsy enough to mind probe him again, he would likely die from a heart attack at the sheer diversity of the insults Magnus had for him.
"What do you mean, 'get friendly with merpeople'?" Appoline, she sounded less comfortable in English than Sebastien and Fleur, though the latter had ample practice with him.
Magnus filed this away in his brain, but it wasn't what interested him.
A quick look at Sebastien revealed he wasn't any more aware than his wife, though his expressions were numbed by years in both politics and law enforcement, even if he only ever held administrative duties.
Gabby's face showed naught more than cluelessness and unbearable cuteness, but that might be because she didn't understand a word of what was being said.
'So they don't know what the second task actually entails.' He looked at the semi-constipated face of the headmaster, 'Slimy old fuck, bet he's gonna hide behind the tournament's rules.'
"Monsieur Dumbledore?" Sébastien asked.
"I apologize, but telling you more would be favoring the Beauxbatons champion, and that is against the rules." He said, sounding truly sorry that he couldn't just go and spill the beans for his school's competition.
'Freaking called it.'
"Then you must be the only one who cares about them, the other school head didn't share your sense of fair play." Magnus said, earning himself an amused look from Dumbledore, and a disapproving one from Mr. Delacour.
"Now, Magnus, this isn't a very respectful attitude toward our guests." He said, mirth in his voice.
Sébastien nodded.
"Are you accusing Madame Maxime of cheating?" He said in perfect English, though Magnus perceived a slight american accent.
'He's either worked there, or learned from a US citizen.' He thought, yet another information he added to his increasingly vast mental file on the Delacours. 'Note to self, find about his actions on American soil and research it for usage as future discussion topics.'
Some people would say he was being considerate, or even cute for trying to establish a good rapport with his flower's parents.
Most people would say he was being creepy, they would be right.
But he didn't give a fuck.
"No, accusing her implies I might be wrong." He shook his head, a smile on his face. "I am stating that cheating in the Triwizard tournament is a tradition as old as the competition itself."
The middle aged man stared him down for a few seconds, before smiling and leaning to mock-whisper in his wife's ear.
"Say dear, can we keep him?" He pleaded.
"Non mon coeur, you know it doesn't work like this." She answered, laughter in her voice.
"But dear, he's even got a backbone!" He whined, much to his daughter's amusement.
Magnus didn't have much experience dealing with parents of people he liked, but he had it from good authority that any self respecting father would provide the dreaded shovel talk to any boy reckless enough to get near his daughter.
It's basic darwinian selection, the weak and unfit will flee while the stronger, high quality young men will brave through.
But he wasn't about to complain, if Mr. Delacour wanted to play it cool then so be it.
'Then again, Fleur would likely gut him if he tried to pull something like that.' He thought, and repressed a chuckle.
"Is that all, headmaster?"
Dumbledore smiled in a way that said 'I know something you don't', along with something he couldn't really identify.
It was that glint in the eyes he often sees in the faces of Dobby's acolytes, but he knew the old man was very much not involved in the Cult of D.
"One more thing, Mr. Black." He smiled, pulling something from a drawer.
He handed him a letter, bearing the ministry's academic department seal. Unless he pulled some strings to get Magnus expelled, which was very unlikely, then it could be one thing.
"Let me be the first person to congratulate you on the obtention of your Newts." Dumbledore said, a huge grin on his face. "It just came in this morning, the examiners were very impressed with your performance."
"Thank you," Magnus nodded, opening it on the spot.
Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests (Newts)
Passing grades
. Outstanding (O)
. Exceeds Expectations (E)
. Acceptable (A)
Failing grades
. Poor (P)
. Dreadful (D)
. Troll (T)
Magnus Sirius Black has achieved
Care of Magical Creatures: O
Charms: O
Ancient Runes: O
Arithmancy: E
Defense Against the Dark Arts: O
Potions: E
Transfiguration: O
"Huh, Neat."
He didn't pay much mind to the weird looks the Delacours were shooting at him and the headmaster, not the proud face the latter was making after establishing dominance through the young Ravenclaw.
There was only one thought in his mind.
'Things are gonna get so troublesome once Sirius hears about this.'
His dog father would probably throw a party and invite every single acquaintance of theirs, or smuggle him inside a strip club…or maybe both, yes, it will most likely be both.
'Guess I'll just postpone it as long as possible.'
"I took the liberty to inform your father about your results."
'Fuck me sideways.'
He gritted his teeth, before giving a strained smile to the elderly headmaster.
"Thank you professor."
His ability to put so much poison in otherwise polite sentences was getting better with each encounter with this world weary old goat.
A look at the appraising, but impressed glances the two Delacours were giving him was almost enough to curb his annoyance with Dumbledore…almost.
'Who knew Albus-Sends Kids To Investigate Unicorn Murders-Dumbledore would be such a great wingman?'
"I reckon a certain deputy headmistress would be eager to receive some good news," Dumbledore chuckled, eyes twinkling gloriously "Unless you'd prefer doing some more good for international relations."
It took him three seconds to catch his meaning, and when he did, the wretched light lord almost managed to make him blush.
He was mildly embarrassed by his remark, more so by the amused couple.
The only solace being Gabrielle's cluelessness, she kept looking to the old man to her parents to him without quite daring to look him in the eyes again.
'Freaking adorable.'
Unwilling to be the but of the adults' jokes longer than necessary, he took his leave and braced him for McGonagall's thrilled reaction.
Life was treating him well, too well almost.
His counter to the killing curse was nearly ready, it only required some minor adjustments on the spell matrice and of course…field testing.
And now his Newts results came back, and passed with flying colors!
'Let's hope it stays like this, though I doubt it.'
. . .
"Wand please." The morose voice of the stumbled buffoon in charge of security greeted him once more.
The guard was slouching in front of the magical focus detector, a handy artifact imported from Switzerland; he made sure that some of the newest batches were lost on the way, and found themselves installed in his manor.
How a man with little to no skills with a wand was supposed to stop any remotely powerful intruder, which anyone foolhardy enough to attack the ministry ought to be, was beyond Lucius' wits.
The man was incompetent, had little to no work ethics and only earned this ridiculously high paying position thanks to the purity of his blood and willingness to polish the right boots.
In short, he was perfect for the job.
Lucius coughed, bringing his ornate cane wand in front of him.
He had no intention to give it up, of course, the mere sight of the silver snake head was enough to straighten the man's posture and put a deceptively warm smile on his face.
"Ah, Lord Malfoy, do excuse me." He waved his wand, and the detector was deactivated. "Have a nice day."
Lucius nodded, regardless of the number of times he heard these two words, the sound of them never failed to bring him joy.
'Lord Malfoy.'
Such a glorious title, befitting of a man of his stature.
His grandfather had secured the name through shrewd deals and a cutthroat policy, his father made it grow in both power and reputation until it rivaled the likes of Bones and Greengrass in powers.
So great were their achievements, that they managed to buy him a bride from the most ancient and noble house of Black.
He couldn't stand Narcissa, but their progeny would've carried blood so pure even the dark lord would acknowledge it.
Even the lordship of house Black would have been Dracos, if not for some unexpected blood traitors acting up.
He walked through the Atrium, heading toward Minister Fudge office to discuss yet another monetary contribution.
This one would go to the minister's house in Malta, or was it the Carribeans? No matter, as long as it gained him support for his next bills.
Sirius Black's release was a blessing in disguise, of course he had been rightly indinged by such a turn of events, but as soon as he vented enough to clear his mind, he saw the possible benefits.
It had set up a precedent, a very dangerous, useful precedent.
One that allowed him to safely lobby for the release of prisoners in Azkaban, something that had been more than taboo in recent years.
The imperious defense had been flimsy, and it took more than half of his house's wealth to maintain his freedom, doing so for someone else would have been even harder.
Now however, Pandora's box has been opened, and he would be a right fool not to use it to his advantage.
'As long as Fudge's greed doesn't bleed me dry.' He sneered at some half-blood filth, 'Retaining control of the dark faction would be much harder without monetary superiority.'
His mark was getting ever brighter, and the call strengthened day by day, but he had no intention to answer to a man bested by a mere babe.
Many shared his opinion, many more thought the same but did not dare voice it.
It stroked the flames of his ambitions, and he could hardly repress it, to do so would be rejecting his own nature.
'Why kneel when it could all be mine?'
…
Author Note:
Word Count: 1889
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