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just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review.
Revelar Spoiler
writing quality is good chapter length is reasonable plot is👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 but need to speed up mc is grey with some colours and his bff is ok but you need to add more characters and author you should add that timer thingy like 'playing one piece' even if you give three chapters a week i can save power stones its a good fanfic(which are hard to find in **********************************) so dont drop before 200 chapters or wano arc
I like............ ............................................................................... 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍...................... ...........👍👍👍👍👍👍👍....................... ................................. . ...............
Hello, I like this story, because it is not like the other fic that the main character is a pirate or a marine. We see a character who goes his own way and not that of the straw hats.
I don't know what to say but this is the greatest one piece fanfic ever, furthermore, I hope you never stop writing cause you got talent man and I promise that I will always give you my absolute support as long as you keep this level of quality over quantity so don't rush it even though it hurts me more. Ps. I hope it becomes a romance novel than a harem novel I'm tired of it and y'all horny guys can look it up elsewhere but here, if not the author has something to say about it :(
What an idiot! Your character is a moron. I mean for a little bit of pain, he stopped training. Even training a little bit would have made me respect him a little. But your MC turned out to be a sissy. And he took a hell lot of time to get his revenge.
MC is disgusting, he was letting his mother be ****ed by some random pirate, not only that, he is a 25 yes old reincarnated person that should know the cruelty of one piece world, but this disgusting disgrace to MCs sat on his ass for 2 yrs doing little to no physical exercise, cowarding in front of pirated that were about to r@pe his mother, this is the most disgusting ff on webnovel, author should feel shame on writing something as such just for character development that was nowhere to be seen. I say dodge it like a bullet of shiit
LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....
MC is a complete weakling. Then the author forces something dark and the mc is a weakling so cant do anything lol even though he shouldn’t be! Then later they start to act weak in front of people so they seem to be just common people. Like wtf? This isn’t some cliche cultivation world that they will kidnap your family after you beat them when you are literally so far from home and many people could have similar to the same names lol waste of time.
Another author failing to grasp dark does not equal deep. Your main character has all the tools required to pursue personal strength but does not do so in the slightest. You could have had him just train for an hour a day and still have all scenes play out the same way, with the difference being the MC doesn't come across as arrogant and self indolgent. The cliche advice thrown around for new writers is show don't tell, which is the exact problem with this fiction. You say he cares about his mother, but none of his actions lead the audience to believe that. By placing zero effort into protecting his own life and by extension those around him he has shown the value he places in them, zero. This would all be perfectly fine if the character was 5, they're not however and as such your character comes off as aggressively unlikable. It's okay to have dark serious themes in a fandom that doesn't traditionally see too much of it, however this should not be at the cost of the rational thought of the protagonist. You don't need to make the choice the audience wants but it needs to be one they can see themselves making in the situation to be relatable, and your MC has not done that.
Just beware of what your getting yourself into. It's gonna make you made and question stuff you've been warned. Really finally warning last time.
It's good but a bit slow paced for me but still much better than story's that are too fast paced
Writing quality and grammar are great, minor mistakes that I don’t pay much attention to. Updates are good so far, hope you can keep it up. The story development I think is the best so far, it’s an interesting way to start the story! Especially the way his system works! I haven’t personally read anything that similar. Love how he isn’t getting super op by randomly eating a fruit and how much effort he puts in. Since the tags have no “tragedy” or anything of the sort you may want to speed up his growth since I’m assuming he’s going to start adventuring soon, and it wouldn’t be that nice to have his ass handed to him more often than not. For character design I think you’ve built up his character ok, but maybe more input on his thought process and his emotional perspective. Hopefully he can stick with the merchant path with all the years he’s been at it and not become forced to turn to piracy later. Got whatever reasons. I don’t know how much I can say about world background because I’ve read one piece and this is a fanfic so it’s easy to refer to previous knowledge I have. At least you’ve described his village and some surroundings? Also don’t know what to do to improve this aspect. Sorry! Anyways I’ve enjoyed the story so far and since I like where the story seems to be going I tried to share my views. Good luck and keep it up!!
Revelar Spoiler
mc is a coward even tho he has limitless body and cheats but still weak. This type of fanfic not my style. Mc acting like a pussy just annoys me no matter how realistic it is. Grammer and structure is good. I like the oc’s in it but that’s bout it
I dont like the beggining of the story at all. MC is a total idiot. Author decides having netorare, letting pirates almost raped her mother at the beggining of the story. Damn, should never had read it. Add Netorare tags, my goodness. Also whats with the simp personality, his a reincarnated individual, he was mentally older. Damn.
Good fan-fic. At least MC did not directly started fighting Garp,admiral or yonko. Author has a very different kind of outlook on the one piece world, like how common people live in this world. From what I read so far, I don't think it will be a some kind of wish fulfilment story.
Good fan fiction.................... Damn 140 characters..............Damn 140 characters.............Damn 140 characters.............Damn 140 characters.............
This is my novel, so of course I will give myself five star. This is my first time, writing anything. Any type of criticism, I will gladly take it. I hope it will take me away from [Noob Author] status. I hope everyone will have a great time reading it.
I am a fan of ONE PIECE.... One Piece fan-fics are always welcome... It is slow paced fan fic. I have not seen any real action yet. But I am looking forward to it. Author, please don't bring harem in it.... I really hate harem type novels................
Loved the novel so far, especially the MC's character development👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
at first I didn't like the story that much as the mc acts like a retard but after few chapters it is turning to be good. Don't stop reading after few chapters. It is a good read
just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review, just for exp so I will give a nice review.
Revelar Spoiler writing quality is good chapter length is reasonable plot is👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 but need to speed up mc is grey with some colours and his bff is ok but you need to add more characters and author you should add that timer thingy like 'playing one piece' even if you give three chapters a week i can save power stones its a good fanfic(which are hard to find in **********************************) so dont drop before 200 chapters or wano arc
I like............ ............................................................................... 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍...................... ...........👍👍👍👍👍👍👍....................... ................................. . ...............
Hello, I like this story, because it is not like the other fic that the main character is a pirate or a marine. We see a character who goes his own way and not that of the straw hats.
I don't know what to say but this is the greatest one piece fanfic ever, furthermore, I hope you never stop writing cause you got talent man and I promise that I will always give you my absolute support as long as you keep this level of quality over quantity so don't rush it even though it hurts me more. Ps. I hope it becomes a romance novel than a harem novel I'm tired of it and y'all horny guys can look it up elsewhere but here, if not the author has something to say about it :(
What an idiot! Your character is a moron. I mean for a little bit of pain, he stopped training. Even training a little bit would have made me respect him a little. But your MC turned out to be a sissy. And he took a hell lot of time to get his revenge.
MC is disgusting, he was letting his mother be ****ed by some random pirate, not only that, he is a 25 yes old reincarnated person that should know the cruelty of one piece world, but this disgusting disgrace to MCs sat on his ass for 2 yrs doing little to no physical exercise, cowarding in front of pirated that were about to r@pe his mother, this is the most disgusting ff on webnovel, author should feel shame on writing something as such just for character development that was nowhere to be seen. I say dodge it like a bullet of shiit
LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....LIKE....
MC is a complete weakling. Then the author forces something dark and the mc is a weakling so cant do anything lol even though he shouldn’t be! Then later they start to act weak in front of people so they seem to be just common people. Like wtf? This isn’t some cliche cultivation world that they will kidnap your family after you beat them when you are literally so far from home and many people could have similar to the same names lol waste of time.
Another author failing to grasp dark does not equal deep. Your main character has all the tools required to pursue personal strength but does not do so in the slightest. You could have had him just train for an hour a day and still have all scenes play out the same way, with the difference being the MC doesn't come across as arrogant and self indolgent. The cliche advice thrown around for new writers is show don't tell, which is the exact problem with this fiction. You say he cares about his mother, but none of his actions lead the audience to believe that. By placing zero effort into protecting his own life and by extension those around him he has shown the value he places in them, zero. This would all be perfectly fine if the character was 5, they're not however and as such your character comes off as aggressively unlikable. It's okay to have dark serious themes in a fandom that doesn't traditionally see too much of it, however this should not be at the cost of the rational thought of the protagonist. You don't need to make the choice the audience wants but it needs to be one they can see themselves making in the situation to be relatable, and your MC has not done that.
Just beware of what your getting yourself into. It's gonna make you made and question stuff you've been warned. Really finally warning last time.
It's good but a bit slow paced for me but still much better than story's that are too fast paced
Writing quality and grammar are great, minor mistakes that I don’t pay much attention to. Updates are good so far, hope you can keep it up. The story development I think is the best so far, it’s an interesting way to start the story! Especially the way his system works! I haven’t personally read anything that similar. Love how he isn’t getting super op by randomly eating a fruit and how much effort he puts in. Since the tags have no “tragedy” or anything of the sort you may want to speed up his growth since I’m assuming he’s going to start adventuring soon, and it wouldn’t be that nice to have his ass handed to him more often than not. For character design I think you’ve built up his character ok, but maybe more input on his thought process and his emotional perspective. Hopefully he can stick with the merchant path with all the years he’s been at it and not become forced to turn to piracy later. Got whatever reasons. I don’t know how much I can say about world background because I’ve read one piece and this is a fanfic so it’s easy to refer to previous knowledge I have. At least you’ve described his village and some surroundings? Also don’t know what to do to improve this aspect. Sorry! Anyways I’ve enjoyed the story so far and since I like where the story seems to be going I tried to share my views. Good luck and keep it up!!
Revelar Spoiler mc is a coward even tho he has limitless body and cheats but still weak. This type of fanfic not my style. Mc acting like a pussy just annoys me no matter how realistic it is. Grammer and structure is good. I like the oc’s in it but that’s bout it
I dont like the beggining of the story at all. MC is a total idiot. Author decides having netorare, letting pirates almost raped her mother at the beggining of the story. Damn, should never had read it. Add Netorare tags, my goodness. Also whats with the simp personality, his a reincarnated individual, he was mentally older. Damn.
Good fan-fic. At least MC did not directly started fighting Garp,admiral or yonko. Author has a very different kind of outlook on the one piece world, like how common people live in this world. From what I read so far, I don't think it will be a some kind of wish fulfilment story.
Good fan fiction.................... Damn 140 characters..............Damn 140 characters.............Damn 140 characters.............Damn 140 characters.............
This is my novel, so of course I will give myself five star. This is my first time, writing anything. Any type of criticism, I will gladly take it. I hope it will take me away from [Noob Author] status. I hope everyone will have a great time reading it.
I am a fan of ONE PIECE.... One Piece fan-fics are always welcome... It is slow paced fan fic. I have not seen any real action yet. But I am looking forward to it. Author, please don't bring harem in it.... I really hate harem type novels................
Loved the novel so far, especially the MC's character development👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
at first I didn't like the story that much as the mc acts like a retard but after few chapters it is turning to be good. Don't stop reading after few chapters. It is a good read