Vonork_Tokcio

LV 1
2024-06-06 Joined Global
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Moments 15
Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
1 months ago
Commented

Make a bloody continuation to BIG E

Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
2 months ago
Posted

"Mate, I’ve read better ghost stories scribbled on the back of pub coasters. Your story is a bloody cliché fest. 'Chill down the spine'? Really? That line was old before I was born. And don’t get me started on the haunted house—originality must’ve taken a holiday when you wrote that. The lack of detailed character emotion is staggering; it's like you expect us to care about cardboard cutouts. The lack of description doesn’t help either; it's like you expect us to fill in the gaps ourselves. There’s a serious lack of content in general; it feels like you’re stretching a paragraph’s worth of story into chapters. The settings and background are non-existent, making the story feel more like a testimony of different individuals rather than an actual cohesive narrative. And what’s with hyping every monster in every chapter, only for the story to end with loads of unanswered questions? If you’re aiming for spooky, try ditching the overdone tropes and give us something fresh. As it stands, this story is about as scary as a wet weekend in Margate."

Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
2 months ago
Commented

I'd send you mine too... Make sure to credit me.

Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
2 months ago
Commented

This is surreal.

Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
2 months ago
Commented

This one is very good mhan, do more of this!!!!

Vonork_Tokcio
Vonork_Tokcio
3 months ago
Replied to DaoistfWLYWb

Where is Gray?? He promised swi? 剣術の師範はいません。

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