MR_Ethan

MR_Ethan

male LV 2
2024-04-04 Joined United States
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Original works
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Moments 7
MR_Ethan
MR_Ethan
8 months ago
Commented

Where did the mother come from? Is she the girl? I thought the girl spoke about their mother

"Look how much you've grown. I am so proud of you two. I can't believe that it has already been 16 years. It feels like it was just yesterday when my two joys came into this world. I remember your father and I, giving you two your names." Their mother said to them. Her eyes watering a bit.

The Abyssal  Cultivator

The Abyssal Cultivator

Fantasy · Jov_175

MR_Ethan
MR_Ethan
8 months ago
Commented

Whispered to himself? Or under his breath? Isn’t he trying to speak to the little gally

"Can you really not see them, those lights constantly flowing all around us." Liam whispered to himself, as he realized that he had dozed of yet again. "I really need to control that"

The Abyssal  Cultivator

The Abyssal Cultivator

Fantasy · Jov_175

MR_Ethan
MR_Ethan
8 months ago
Commented

What’s ‘him coming to his senses’ look like? Eyes bulging? Heart racing? Dissociation?

"huh?" said Liam, returning to his senses.

The Abyssal  Cultivator

The Abyssal Cultivator

Fantasy · Jov_175

MR_Ethan
MR_Ethan
8 months ago
Commented

Very magical simile.

"Like a ballroom of fairies. Flowing and dancing all around me."

The Abyssal  Cultivator

The Abyssal Cultivator

Fantasy · Jov_175

MR_Ethan
MR_Ethan
8 months ago
Posted

I’m the author. Why would I write a bad review? That’s for y’all to decide. Just need this so it’s not empty

MR_Ethan
MR_Ethan
9 months ago
Commented

You should make sure when a different character speaks, it’s within a new paragraph

MR_Ethan
MR_Ethan
9 months ago
Commented

Capitalize all names!! And make sure the dialogue ends with quotation marks🙏🏿🙏🏿 Imma keep reading tho. See ya next chapter

  • Arash: The Four Orbs original

    Arash: The Four Orbs

    Fantasy ACTION ADVENTURE COMEDY DARK MULTIPLELEADS

    "How do you want to be remembered?" Thousands of years ago, during the Age of Adventurers, the phrase lingered over a smiling sorceress before an entire generation mysteriously vanished, including her. Assuming the generation has decayed, pieces from it have fell into the world bringing to light many new creatures, dungeons, and artifacts into its first victim, the country of Dracuhstone. Where it has been contained underneath the world's noses. Meanwhile, years after her death, Ashley's eighteen year old, Arash, rushes through an achromatic Archery Festival. Zorion, his best friend with a coloring contrast, is left in a mysterious dilemma to go back to his war-ridden home-country with Arash. And determined to carve their existence into their world, the two boys venture from their home, Giastone, into the depths of calamity known as Dracuhstone. But what of The Lost Generation? And why has a whole country stayed silent? How can they even think of orbs when such disaster adorns the land. "This.. Is the story you started, is it not?"

    5 Chs 7 Collections