Luke_Moore_3311

"Now this is it third year students. Since you are seventy students in this class, I request all of you to form groups of five students each. Each group should present its work on Thursday, next week to the class. Co-operation is expected from each. Group discussion are expected to commence starting from today's lecture. I will be away due to a couple of reasons. In case of any issues contact the class representative who will reach out to me. Thank you for your attention. You can commence into your favorable group and please ensure y'all are five members. Any extra member lead to a zero for the whole group. Remember this group work is part of your cat and out of ten it will be." Professor James stated. I needed a group with formidable members who I can relate and be free with. My eyes are stuck on the book. I don't want to look up and see. I said earlier am not good with people. I maybe sassy sometimes but am shy in person. I hate group work it takes a lot of my energy. Last semester I remember how much I slept late typing my group's work as a punishment for not appearing in any of the discussions. I don't talk to most of my classmates. Ana differed for she's soon having a child. I was also surprised by the news. Her boyfriend is quite a gentleman though. He's accepted the child and I hear soon they'll get married wow. Yea I said wow, because I really don't think I'll ever get married. The name marriage just scares me. How can I get married to someone I don't know? His people shall become my people and the worst part is wherever he goes I shall follow. Well those church vows just make me wonder. In addition to, my mum and dad split when I was in grade three. Before, all I ever heard was them quarreling. Voices were raised and then my dad would slam the door on my mum and leave without a word. The quiver and shatter from my mum's voice would be heard. I always pretended I was asleep but I was used to hearing everything. I've searched for the right words to describe my dad but every time I think of him, I remember that day he slammed the door in front of mum's face and never returned and she easily lied to us covering that he went for a long trip 'why do parents lie?'. I have never told anyone about that not even my exes. Those are the words I keep buried and I'd rather take them to the grave. "Hey." Those words opt me out of my imaginative and memorial world. "Mmmh" I reply slowly raising my face and meet that face I knew would never seize to look at me. "Were you asleep?" He ask. It was Leniey. How, why, what the fuck is he doing here? Am astonished, my throat is dry. I don't want to look like a creep but maybe I had already looked like one. So I avert my eyes from him and look at the whole class realizing some are in groups and others like me aren't. Idiots who hate groups. I guess am not alone. Did I sleep? All I remember was the professor speaking and then the pulling of chairs then boom I left the reality world. Clearing his throat he states confidently "I've found out err…" Is he nervous? He starts again "Our group needs an extra member and I was requesting if you'd join us. You see I…, I feel you'd make a great group member." I needed a group. So I just nodded but why didn't he choose another? Why me? I guess am overthinking. I could see the class queen bee look at me with some eyes. Oh God. If looks could kill then I'd be dead by now. That's what jealousy looks like. She wishes it was her instead. Why are people so full of themselves? Maybe he notices me staring at the queen bee. He continues "I wanted you." bluffers nervously "For the groups of course." I close my books and put them in my small monkey bag looking at his group. It had no girl. "Oh Jeez am finally a bro" I say to myself. He suddenly grabs my bag zips it for me and starts walking towards the group with it. "What is he doing?" I slap that thought and rise as I straighten my tennis skirt and walk down the hallway towards them. "Welcome." The first boy states. I just stutter a thanks beneath my breath. "No, come sit here." Leniey states. "Booo" They all say in unison. "What was that for?" I just walk straight to him and sit next to him as I grab my bag which he had placed on the chair. "So wassup." I state, Girl, this where my attitude comes in after a nervous schedule. The boy Crimson I guess replies "When should we start the discussion I have a busy schedule guys. This weekend am off." "How about we do it online? Everyone is busy. We can paraphrase in here go through everything. Then I'll create a group for the five of us the discussion should start today at seven." The boy Eric says. Eric I presume is the group leader. He's always with Leniey. I guess they are quite good friends. I stopped shipping Leniey a long time ago, started focusing on myself and am happy since have become someone substantial. For the purpose of forgetting my ex I joined drama club in which we participate in set book plays at different high schools. So basically most Saturdays and Sundays am off school. Therefore, I became so busy to focus on any other things other than my studies. Am still single not yeeeyy yes! But because I need to put my life together and with my busy schedule I don't think I have time to think of relationships. "What do you think Angel?" What? Why the fuck do I have to give my opinion. Thank God despite zoning out I was still hearing what they were saying. They were talking about types of reasoning and were arguing on if there is a way someone can do something without reasoning. "Love at first sight." I say. They start laughing. "Why are they laughing?" I question inwardly. Suddenly Leniey says, "Why are y'all laughing are you in love or what?" One of the guys starts speaking while laughing "bro, you know why we are laughing or should I spill it." "Just shut up niggah. I think we should head home guys. We can do this online because y'all aren't even talking sense right now." Leniey says seeming nervous and at the same time serious. Why is he nervous though? He knows any girl would be on top of the world if he asks her out. If he loves someone he should just say it but either way all the four boys knew about what Leniey was hiding but I didn't. I was just there for the group discussion. So I rise from my sit put the book inside the bag and as I start leaving Leniey cuts me short, "Hey am sorry about those guys. They a little bit chizzy. Am also leaving we can do it together." Wait what? Am I dreaming? Is Leniey really requesting to walk out with me? The perfect thing is I had mastered how to sound confident even when nervous. How to put a glassy face even when excited. Just raise your eyebrows in a resting position, practice the mew and put a timid but classy smile perfect facial expression. "Okay." I replied. He had no bag. He carried his book by rolling it and forcing it inside his back pocket. Every boy did that but I can't lie it looked swag for him and made him look more like the bad boys in movies. As we walked outside, the silence between us turned into tension. I have never been this nervous my entire life. I was scared if I speak he might not like what I say and judge me. "The weather is great today." He starts. Is that crazy? The weather? At least talk about people or books or something from the past but well if he likes the weather then I'll move with the flow. I had no interest in today's weather whatsoever but at the moment I took time and observed it. It was sunny with the sky blue and white sheets of stratus clouds beautifying it. "It's fantastic for a perfect swim and pool party." I said. Wait what? Did I say party? He'll think of me as a party girl. Oh am an idiot why didn't I think about that. "Pool party? (Giggling) So you like pool parties?" He asked. I knew I had to reverse what I said to make a perfect expression of me. "I likened the pool parties to the weather. Doesn't mean I like parties but they seem cool." I added. "Angeee...lll" That's Jake. Some idiot of a guy. Always shouting. "Girl, we have practice at four. Don't be late." He finished. I just looked at him he was quite a distance behind us and just gave him a thumbs up. Only an hour to four so I had to stay back at school since my rental house after leaving the school hostels were quite far. "I think it's an hour to four. You can leave and come back." Leniey states. "No I can't, my house is quite far I'd rather wait till four let me go and have a snack." I wanted Leniey to leave, but at the same time wanted him to stay. I was really nervous around him and I kind of liked it. The way he spoke and the way sometimes he looked at me to figure out. Especially right now; His eyes are literally piercing through me. I can't maintain eye contact with him. That, have never mastered. He's looking through me but am looking at his ears crazy right? "Okay, I should leave then. See you tonight on the online work. Ciao." He hugs most girls in the class as a way to say bye but today he didn't. He put his hands halfway on his sagged jeans pulled it up and just looked at me. At that moment I felt the surge of blood running all through my veins. He opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He was way taller than me you can imagine a 5'1 girl talking to an almost 6'1 person. I confidently rose my eyes to look at him but at that glare I couldn't it was like dying seconds. I wouldn't understand. I had never had moments with him as this was. Most of the time was him ignoring me as I just stared at him from afar. Never heard of his dating life but I can say I didn't care. It seems he knew me my name, my admission number, my club and everything about me. Suddenly he looked away and left without a word. It was like I did something wrong. I couldn't maintain eye contact why would he leave like that? I flashed my thoughts and left to the café to by a snack. Some coke and cake would do.

THE BOOKED FLOWER

Urban · Rhoda_Andrian

"Now this is it third year students. Since you are seventy students in this class, I request all of you to form groups of five students each. Each group should present its work on Thursday, next week to the class. Co-operation is expected from each. Group discussion are expected to commence starting from today's lecture. I will be away due to a couple of reasons. In case of any issues contact the class representative who will reach out to me. Thank you for your attention. You can commence into your favorable group and please ensure y'all are five members. Any extra member lead to a zero for the whole group. Remember this group work is part of your cat and out of ten it will be." Professor James stated. I needed a group with formidable members who I can relate and be free with. My eyes are stuck on the book. I don't want to look up and see. I said earlier am not good with people. I maybe sassy sometimes but am shy in person. I hate group work it takes a lot of my energy. Last semester I remember how much I slept late typing my group's work as a punishment for not appearing in any of the discussions. I don't talk to most of my classmates. Ana differed for she's soon having a child. I was also surprised by the news. Her boyfriend is quite a gentleman though. He's accepted the child and I hear soon they'll get married wow. Yea I said wow, because I really don't think I'll ever get married. The name marriage just scares me. How can I get married to someone I don't know? His people shall become my people and the worst part is wherever he goes I shall follow. Well those church vows just make me wonder. In addition to, my mum and dad split when I was in grade three. Before, all I ever heard was them quarreling. Voices were raised and then my dad would slam the door on my mum and leave without a word. The quiver and shatter from my mum's voice would be heard. I always pretended I was asleep but I was used to hearing everything. I've searched for the right words to describe my dad but every time I think of him, I remember that day he slammed the door in front of mum's face and never returned and she easily lied to us covering that he went for a long trip 'why do parents lie?'. I have never told anyone about that not even my exes. Those are the words I keep buried and I'd rather take them to the grave. "Hey." Those words opt me out of my imaginative and memorial world. "Mmmh" I reply slowly raising my face and meet that face I knew would never seize to look at me. "Were you asleep?" He ask. It was Leniey. How, why, what the fuck is he doing here? Am astonished, my throat is dry. I don't want to look like a creep but maybe I had already looked like one. So I avert my eyes from him and look at the whole class realizing some are in groups and others like me aren't. Idiots who hate groups. I guess am not alone. Did I sleep? All I remember was the professor speaking and then the pulling of chairs then boom I left the reality world. Clearing his throat he states confidently "I've found out err…" Is he nervous? He starts again "Our group needs an extra member and I was requesting if you'd join us. You see I…, I feel you'd make a great group member." I needed a group. So I just nodded but why didn't he choose another? Why me? I guess am overthinking. I could see the class queen bee look at me with some eyes. Oh God. If looks could kill then I'd be dead by now. That's what jealousy looks like. She wishes it was her instead. Why are people so full of themselves? Maybe he notices me staring at the queen bee. He continues "I wanted you." bluffers nervously "For the groups of course." I close my books and put them in my small monkey bag looking at his group. It had no girl. "Oh Jeez am finally a bro" I say to myself. He suddenly grabs my bag zips it for me and starts walking towards the group with it. "What is he doing?" I slap that thought and rise as I straighten my tennis skirt and walk down the hallway towards them. "Welcome." The first boy states. I just stutter a thanks beneath my breath. "No, come sit here." Leniey states. "Booo" They all say in unison. "What was that for?" I just walk straight to him and sit next to him as I grab my bag which he had placed on the chair. "So wassup." I state, Girl, this where my attitude comes in after a nervous schedule. The boy Crimson I guess replies "When should we start the discussion I have a busy schedule guys. This weekend am off." "How about we do it online? Everyone is busy. We can paraphrase in here go through everything. Then I'll create a group for the five of us the discussion should start today at seven." The boy Eric says. Eric I presume is the group leader. He's always with Leniey. I guess they are quite good friends. I stopped shipping Leniey a long time ago, started focusing on myself and am happy since have become someone substantial. For the purpose of forgetting my ex I joined drama club in which we participate in set book plays at different high schools. So basically most Saturdays and Sundays am off school. Therefore, I became so busy to focus on any other things other than my studies. Am still single not yeeeyy yes! But because I need to put my life together and with my busy schedule I don't think I have time to think of relationships. "What do you think Angel?" What? Why the fuck do I have to give my opinion. Thank God despite zoning out I was still hearing what they were saying. They were talking about types of reasoning and were arguing on if there is a way someone can do something without reasoning. "Love at first sight." I say. They start laughing. "Why are they laughing?" I question inwardly. Suddenly Leniey says, "Why are y'all laughing are you in love or what?" One of the guys starts speaking while laughing "bro, you know why we are laughing or should I spill it." "Just shut up niggah. I think we should head home guys. We can do this online because y'all aren't even talking sense right now." Leniey says seeming nervous and at the same time serious. Why is he nervous though? He knows any girl would be on top of the world if he asks her out. If he loves someone he should just say it but either way all the four boys knew about what Leniey was hiding but I didn't. I was just there for the group discussion. So I rise from my sit put the book inside the bag and as I start leaving Leniey cuts me short, "Hey am sorry about those guys. They a little bit chizzy. Am also leaving we can do it together." Wait what? Am I dreaming? Is Leniey really requesting to walk out with me? The perfect thing is I had mastered how to sound confident even when nervous. How to put a glassy face even when excited. Just raise your eyebrows in a resting position, practice the mew and put a timid but classy smile perfect facial expression. "Okay." I replied. He had no bag. He carried his book by rolling it and forcing it inside his back pocket. Every boy did that but I can't lie it looked swag for him and made him look more like the bad boys in movies. As we walked outside, the silence between us turned into tension. I have never been this nervous my entire life. I was scared if I speak he might not like what I say and judge me. "The weather is great today." He starts. Is that crazy? The weather? At least talk about people or books or something from the past but well if he likes the weather then I'll move with the flow. I had no interest in today's weather whatsoever but at the moment I took time and observed it. It was sunny with the sky blue and white sheets of stratus clouds beautifying it. "It's fantastic for a perfect swim and pool party." I said. Wait what? Did I say party? He'll think of me as a party girl. Oh am an idiot why didn't I think about that. "Pool party? (Giggling) So you like pool parties?" He asked. I knew I had to reverse what I said to make a perfect expression of me. "I likened the pool parties to the weather. Doesn't mean I like parties but they seem cool." I added. "Angeee...lll" That's Jake. Some idiot of a guy. Always shouting. "Girl, we have practice at four. Don't be late." He finished. I just looked at him he was quite a distance behind us and just gave him a thumbs up. Only an hour to four so I had to stay back at school since my rental house after leaving the school hostels were quite far. "I think it's an hour to four. You can leave and come back." Leniey states. "No I can't, my house is quite far I'd rather wait till four let me go and have a snack." I wanted Leniey to leave, but at the same time wanted him to stay. I was really nervous around him and I kind of liked it. The way he spoke and the way sometimes he looked at me to figure out. Especially right now; His eyes are literally piercing through me. I can't maintain eye contact with him. That, have never mastered. He's looking through me but am looking at his ears crazy right? "Okay, I should leave then. See you tonight on the online work. Ciao." He hugs most girls in the class as a way to say bye but today he didn't. He put his hands halfway on his sagged jeans pulled it up and just looked at me. At that moment I felt the surge of blood running all through my veins. He opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He was way taller than me you can imagine a 5'1 girl talking to an almost 6'1 person. I confidently rose my eyes to look at him but at that glare I couldn't it was like dying seconds. I wouldn't understand. I had never had moments with him as this was. Most of the time was him ignoring me as I just stared at him from afar. Never heard of his dating life but I can say I didn't care. It seems he knew me my name, my admission number, my club and everything about me. Suddenly he looked away and left without a word. It was like I did something wrong. I couldn't maintain eye contact why would he leave like that? I flashed my thoughts and left to the café to by a snack. Some coke and cake would do.

THE BOOKED FLOWER

Urban · Rhoda_Andrian

"Now this is it third year students. Since you are seventy students in this class, I request all of you to form groups of five students each. Each group should present its work on Thursday, next week to the class. Co-operation is expected from each. Group discussion are expected to commence starting from today's lecture. I will be away due to a couple of reasons. In case of any issues contact the class representative who will reach out to me. Thank you for your attention. You can commence into your favorable group and please ensure y'all are five members. Any extra member lead to a zero for the whole group. Remember this group work is part of your cat and out of ten it will be." Professor James stated. I needed a group with formidable members who I can relate and be free with. My eyes are stuck on the book. I don't want to look up and see. I said earlier am not good with people. I maybe sassy sometimes but am shy in person. I hate group work it takes a lot of my energy. Last semester I remember how much I slept late typing my group's work as a punishment for not appearing in any of the discussions. I don't talk to most of my classmates. Ana differed for she's soon having a child. I was also surprised by the news. Her boyfriend is quite a gentleman though. He's accepted the child and I hear soon they'll get married wow. Yea I said wow, because I really don't think I'll ever get married. The name marriage just scares me. How can I get married to someone I don't know? His people shall become my people and the worst part is wherever he goes I shall follow. Well those church vows just make me wonder. In addition to, my mum and dad split when I was in grade three. Before, all I ever heard was them quarreling. Voices were raised and then my dad would slam the door on my mum and leave without a word. The quiver and shatter from my mum's voice would be heard. I always pretended I was asleep but I was used to hearing everything. I've searched for the right words to describe my dad but every time I think of him, I remember that day he slammed the door in front of mum's face and never returned and she easily lied to us covering that he went for a long trip 'why do parents lie?'. I have never told anyone about that not even my exes. Those are the words I keep buried and I'd rather take them to the grave. "Hey." Those words opt me out of my imaginative and memorial world. "Mmmh" I reply slowly raising my face and meet that face I knew would never seize to look at me. "Were you asleep?" He ask. It was Leniey. How, why, what the fuck is he doing here? Am astonished, my throat is dry. I don't want to look like a creep but maybe I had already looked like one. So I avert my eyes from him and look at the whole class realizing some are in groups and others like me aren't. Idiots who hate groups. I guess am not alone. Did I sleep? All I remember was the professor speaking and then the pulling of chairs then boom I left the reality world. Clearing his throat he states confidently "I've found out err…" Is he nervous? He starts again "Our group needs an extra member and I was requesting if you'd join us. You see I…, I feel you'd make a great group member." I needed a group. So I just nodded but why didn't he choose another? Why me? I guess am overthinking. I could see the class queen bee look at me with some eyes. Oh God. If looks could kill then I'd be dead by now. That's what jealousy looks like. She wishes it was her instead. Why are people so full of themselves? Maybe he notices me staring at the queen bee. He continues "I wanted you." bluffers nervously "For the groups of course." I close my books and put them in my small monkey bag looking at his group. It had no girl. "Oh Jeez am finally a bro" I say to myself. He suddenly grabs my bag zips it for me and starts walking towards the group with it. "What is he doing?" I slap that thought and rise as I straighten my tennis skirt and walk down the hallway towards them. "Welcome." The first boy states. I just stutter a thanks beneath my breath. "No, come sit here." Leniey states. "Booo" They all say in unison. "What was that for?" I just walk straight to him and sit next to him as I grab my bag which he had placed on the chair. "So wassup." I state, Girl, this where my attitude comes in after a nervous schedule. The boy Crimson I guess replies "When should we start the discussion I have a busy schedule guys. This weekend am off." "How about we do it online? Everyone is busy. We can paraphrase in here go through everything. Then I'll create a group for the five of us the discussion should start today at seven." The boy Eric says. Eric I presume is the group leader. He's always with Leniey. I guess they are quite good friends. I stopped shipping Leniey a long time ago, started focusing on myself and am happy since have become someone substantial. For the purpose of forgetting my ex I joined drama club in which we participate in set book plays at different high schools. So basically most Saturdays and Sundays am off school. Therefore, I became so busy to focus on any other things other than my studies. Am still single not yeeeyy yes! But because I need to put my life together and with my busy schedule I don't think I have time to think of relationships. "What do you think Angel?" What? Why the fuck do I have to give my opinion. Thank God despite zoning out I was still hearing what they were saying. They were talking about types of reasoning and were arguing on if there is a way someone can do something without reasoning. "Love at first sight." I say. They start laughing. "Why are they laughing?" I question inwardly. Suddenly Leniey says, "Why are y'all laughing are you in love or what?" One of the guys starts speaking while laughing "bro, you know why we are laughing or should I spill it." "Just shut up niggah. I think we should head home guys. We can do this online because y'all aren't even talking sense right now." Leniey says seeming nervous and at the same time serious. Why is he nervous though? He knows any girl would be on top of the world if he asks her out. If he loves someone he should just say it but either way all the four boys knew about what Leniey was hiding but I didn't. I was just there for the group discussion. So I rise from my sit put the book inside the bag and as I start leaving Leniey cuts me short, "Hey am sorry about those guys. They a little bit chizzy. Am also leaving we can do it together." Wait what? Am I dreaming? Is Leniey really requesting to walk out with me? The perfect thing is I had mastered how to sound confident even when nervous. How to put a glassy face even when excited. Just raise your eyebrows in a resting position, practice the mew and put a timid but classy smile perfect facial expression. "Okay." I replied. He had no bag. He carried his book by rolling it and forcing it inside his back pocket. Every boy did that but I can't lie it looked swag for him and made him look more like the bad boys in movies. As we walked outside, the silence between us turned into tension. I have never been this nervous my entire life. I was scared if I speak he might not like what I say and judge me. "The weather is great today." He starts. Is that crazy? The weather? At least talk about people or books or something from the past but well if he likes the weather then I'll move with the flow. I had no interest in today's weather whatsoever but at the moment I took time and observed it. It was sunny with the sky blue and white sheets of stratus clouds beautifying it. "It's fantastic for a perfect swim and pool party." I said. Wait what? Did I say party? He'll think of me as a party girl. Oh am an idiot why didn't I think about that. "Pool party? (Giggling) So you like pool parties?" He asked. I knew I had to reverse what I said to make a perfect expression of me. "I likened the pool parties to the weather. Doesn't mean I like parties but they seem cool." I added. "Angeee...lll" That's Jake. Some idiot of a guy. Always shouting. "Girl, we have practice at four. Don't be late." He finished. I just looked at him he was quite a distance behind us and just gave him a thumbs up. Only an hour to four so I had to stay back at school since my rental house after leaving the school hostels were quite far. "I think it's an hour to four. You can leave and come back." Leniey states. "No I can't, my house is quite far I'd rather wait till four let me go and have a snack." I wanted Leniey to leave, but at the same time wanted him to stay. I was really nervous around him and I kind of liked it. The way he spoke and the way sometimes he looked at me to figure out. Especially right now; His eyes are literally piercing through me. I can't maintain eye contact with him. That, have never mastered. He's looking through me but am looking at his ears crazy right? "Okay, I should leave then. See you tonight on the online work. Ciao." He hugs most girls in the class as a way to say bye but today he didn't. He put his hands halfway on his sagged jeans pulled it up and just looked at me. At that moment I felt the surge of blood running all through my veins. He opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He was way taller than me you can imagine a 5'1 girl talking to an almost 6'1 person. I confidently rose my eyes to look at him but at that glare I couldn't it was like dying seconds. I wouldn't understand. I had never had moments with him as this was. Most of the time was him ignoring me as I just stared at him from afar. Never heard of his dating life but I can say I didn't care. It seems he knew me my name, my admission number, my club and everything about me. Suddenly he looked away and left without a word. It was like I did something wrong. I couldn't maintain eye contact why would he leave like that? I flashed my thoughts and left to the café to by a snack. Some coke and cake would do.

THE BOOKED FLOWER

Urban · Rhoda_Andrian

Yes, I said "model." Aren't models supposed to be tall? He stood around 5'9" or 6'0". "Excuse me, sir, I'm sorry I'm late." Wait, we don't even apologize for being late in this class? This guy's got manners. People quickly made space for him to sit, and with all the arrogance and excitement he radiated, he chose the front row next to our somewhat domineering class representative, appointed during our first lecture. Throughout my first year, I lived in the school hostels, which were quite a distance from the lecture halls. I acted like a complete idiot when it came to the new guy, Leniey, as I later learned he was called. Every time he entered the class, I could do nothing but admire him, wishing I had a drawing book to capture his perfect face. Everything he wore seemed to fit him impeccably. On weekends, he'd wear a Lakers jersey and shorts, showcasing his muscles and veined arms. He looked flawless, and while I'd deny it if someone asked, I had a massive crush on him. Well, I wasn't alone in this; most of my course mates and many university girls felt the same. He had a busy schedule, and yes, I knew his schedule—how silly of me—but that's how it was. After class, you'd find him at the gym, on the basketball court, and recently, he asked me to help him join the school drama club. Maybe I was a little nervous, but I'm currently nursing a broken heart. His name was Elvis; I met him on the second day of the second semester. He seemed kind, principled, and trustworthy, not to mention handsome. He was tall, and perhaps I have a thing for tall guys, and above all, he loathed noise. Every time I think of him, a tear threatens to escape. It's as though a part of me left with him, and now I feel incomplete. I still remember the breakup text I sent him. Maybe I made a mistake, but how could I not, when everything with him seemed to hurt more each day? Without him, I'm a mess, and though a month has passed, the pain in my heart feels as fresh as if it were yesterday. Every laugh sounds like his laugh, and I still listen to the songs we enjoyed together. His love for old-school pop music remains etched in my soul, making me yearn for it as if we could return to the past. I knew about heartbreak before, but I never anticipated it would be this agonizing. Each day I look at my phone, hoping he'll call and say he misses me. Maybe Justin Bieber understood it when he sang "Love Yourself." I hope my heart will find peace someday, and his name will become as ordinary as my psychology notes; his laughter will no longer tug at the part of me that yearns for him. I hope he becomes a memory, nothing more than a scar on my heart. It would be a lie to say he wasn't my first love. Perhaps I could have spoken about him, but every time I do, my heart aches. I want him back—my wish—but I know that having him here would mean my misery continues. He was like embracing a burning furnace; letting go was difficult, but it was the best decision my nineteen-year-old self made. I now understand when people say that the biggest mistake a woman can make is wasting her life waiting for a man to change. They never do. A man changes for someone he genuinely cares about, and if it's not you, honey, it won't happen. That was the first lesson I learned from that relationship.

THE BOOKED FLOWER

Urban · Rhoda_Andrian

My past has been quite tumultuous, as is my present, I might say. My first date was with a guy I met in church, whom I'd like to call my first boyfriend. He was one of the few who showed interest in me, and that's how I got the chance. Given the opportunity, I'd compare the Angel of today to the naive sixteen-year-old girl I once was. Much has changed since then.

THE BOOKED FLOWER

Urban · Rhoda_Andrian

My first psychology lecture was great. Finally, I made a friend named Ana. I've already mentioned that to you. However, during the second week after my first lecture, a guy walked into the class who fascinated everyone, especially the ladies. He had light brown dreadlocks that cascaded over his forehead and one side of his face, the rest neatly tied back to reveal a slick-shaved side. His half-grown sideburns were precisely aligned, making him exceptionally handsome. He sported black sweatpants and an oversized white hoodie, with black earphones dangling from the hood. I thought I was the only one ogling him, but it turns out all the girls in class were just as captivated. The lecturer had to pause his lecture to allow this male model to enter, illustrating how captivating he was.

THE BOOKED FLOWER

Urban · Rhoda_Andrian

Back in those days, my concept of love was quite different. It was simple and superficial, devoid of any genuine feelings. Morning texts, goodnight texts, a few kisses, and talking—it was all a facade. What else could you expect from teenagers cooped up at home, watching romantic movies from those brilliant telenovela shows, all thanks to the genius of editors, producers, and actors? So, like characters in a movie, we went to parks, played games, rode horses, and took countless pictures with captions full of love. We lived like no one else could understand us. Was that love? It's a question I often ask myself, and I even laugh about it now. University was the next chapter, and while we hoped to study at the same campus, fate had different plans. The reality of long-distance hit, and it's safe to say that it's a load of nonsense. You should just live your life and tell your friends the same. That's how I lost my first boyfriend, although, funny enough, we never got intimate. It was a game of teenage infatuation, believing we'd marry each other someday. Maybe that was the realest love I've ever experienced. All we did was exchange compliments and view each other's statuses. Then, he faded into the background, until recently, when my mom mentioned he was looking for me.

THE BOOKED FLOWER

Urban · Rhoda_Andrian