This is such a sad chapter but a great one at best, so keep with a good work.
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These three sentences need to be eliminated, and the second one needs to be rewritten as "You'll see for yourself."
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These two sentences should be eliminated.
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Replace exclamation mark with question mark.
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Italics, not quotation marks.
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Another great chapter.
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The next two dialogues needs to be together.
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All three dialogues needs to be combined in one.
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Space
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This story is quite interesting for me to read and I quite liked it. The only problems I have with it are the grammar; everything else is great and keep up with a good work.