Derek_Lycan - Profile

poorly written but this is a new author so... I will leave it to your judgment. it is not for me.

With all due respect, you are very wrong about this fanfic and all the hate is not necessary or right. You are wrong about 2 things: 1. The author of the fanfic on webnovel (that you claim is copying someone else's work and the fanfic is not their original work) clearly stated in the description of the fanic that this work does not belong to them, they do not own any content or the fanfic. 2. the point about the chapter differences proving that it is copied, is also wrong. yes the story on fanfiction.net is on the 5th chapter while this story on webnovel is on the 4th chapter is correct but this author has uploaded the current chapter content here so the pacing is literally same. this author just combined the chapter 2 and 3 on fanfiction into chapter 2 here.

but there is not fanfic on his account. so I think I will give appreciation to the author that is updating the chapters. if you know other platforms that this original author Captain JN uploaded the original fanfic, then do let me know

look man, this fanfic is not for me. I hate mj in this fanfic. I would give this a 5 star but like I always to with all marvel fanfic with an obsessive Mary Jane, I give the lowest possible rating with a five star given to 1 aspect that the author provides. in this case, it is writing quality.

this is good, it started off great. I hope it keeps up the quality of the chapter. also do you have the link to the original fanfic/mtl? I would like to read the original to see if it is good or is it like other mtl I read (mostly trash)

You can read this if you want but this type of fanfic are very easy to drop. unfortunately I have dropped this. I will sum it up with this points: 1. this story/fanfic is trash. 2. the mc is just a narcissistic dumbass who has very little character that attracts readers to understand and encourage . 3. the translation is just poor in quality, it is difficult to read. There is no flow and consistent story progression. ps. might just read the repel everything fanfic instead

Great so far. writing needs some fine tuning. minor phrasing error. update... I would prefer more frequent world and character design seems good so far. 4/5 for character. Depending on how the story goes this can be either good fanfic or mediocre. Please gor the love of everything good in this world, DO NOT MAKE THE MC A SYSTEM SLAVE OR SYSTEM DEPENDENT .

great start, I hope it keeps up with the quality and the update is frequent. you should do more Gamer based fanfics because you seem to have very good writing quality for them

Look. I would have given this a 5 star. BECAUSE, it lacks diversity man. I get that the author may have a preference for face-sitting and hairy pussies BUT you must understand that girls in any world don't always have a preference to have a hairy pussy or prefer face-sitting. Frankly, repeating the same ending of fetish makes it boring. And disgusting plush you made the mc a fat boy... really in the naruto world rarely any ninja would prefer a fat partner unless they are an akimichi, same in the real world, rarely people prefer engaging in sex with fat people... yes they may with slightly chubby people but that us the limit with sex when people first meet each other. plus you are making all girls to seem like easy sluts that will drop their guard and have a sex session with someone they met. I honestly think that the author is trying to compensate for something. especially when I keep seeing the same repetitive thing. Also if a man goes to the naruto world they would try to be fit and streamline body type instead of chubby or fat because it makes their life more convenient, from seduction or physical combat capabilities, all is possible if you have a fit body especially in the naruto world...

good so far... would be better if more chapters were available. please upload soon

I have read a lot of fanfics on Webnovel. I have read approximately a couple hundred fanfics from various apps and websites. Unfortunately, I have to give this fanfic such a low rating. I may come back to this fanfic in the future to give a higher rating. For now, here are the reasons for the rating (from most important to least important): 1. The flow of writing is just awful. When reading the fanfic, it is quite difficult to read in a properly as it is very "jumpy" and all over the place. To improve on this, I would suggest making a plan on the overall story (things like events, battles and love interest), as for the conversation between characters imagine or have some you say the dialogues to and see if it sounds good ( it should sound natural and not forced) 2. modify the writing layout. This is a fanfiction, not a primary or secondary school level( 4th- 9th grade education) dialogues scripts. For fanfiction, it should look pleasing to look at, like proper paragraphs and stuff. 3. grammar and punctuation issues, the punctuation don't matter too much, but the grammar needs improvement. if English is not good or not your fluent language then I would recommend sending your drafts through Grammarly.