Thank you for reading
thanks I'll fix it in a jiffy
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Throwaway Villain
Fantasy · taytjie
Good chapter, Though you have a few grammar issues and tensing problems. you switch from past to present often while writing.
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'Jessica cheered and immediately..' just an edit suggestion. also tense issue. 'cheers' is present while 'cheered' is past.
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you switched genders again. it should be 'don't scold her anymore.'
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'that is true' <-- you're switching tenses here. you write mostly in past tense but 'is' is present tense. Check through your writing for 'is' 'has' 'will' and 'can' also 'isn't' 'wans't' 'hasn't' and 'can't' too. If you find them switch them to past tense so you can keep with the rythm of your story.
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you have an issue with your pronouns. You're calling her a wife, saying she's a woman but then using male pronouns to indicate to her in your writing. there are a few moments of 'his' and 'him' being used when talking about the 'wife'
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Thank you so much for your review and kind words
Thanks for the great review, it really means a lot. I'm glad you like Kurio and Friar, they're some of my favourites too.
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original Throwaway Villain
4.91
Have you ever lived in a hell disguised as Heaven? Waking up in a body that was wrong. In a world, she thought fiction. Lillian found that she felt more alive than she ever had before. This terribly written world was twisted and wrong, a poison that slowly killed off its own people. Only the strong could live, while the weak barely survived. This world was her new home, and she refused to do anything other than live. {No Harem} + {eventual gender fluid MC} + {LGBTQ+ for some eventual relationships}23 Chs 14 Collections
Thank you for reading
Throwaway Villain
Fantasy · taytjie