Honestly, the switch up is too fast. Where does this dominant character come from?
Evan's expression turned cold when Mike grabbed his collar. "Remove your dirty hands if you don't want to become bedridden for the rest of your life," Evan said in a cold voice.
Fantasy · Zero_writer
Strong points: writing quality / story is already finished Weak points: The author overuses mystery box writing to artificially create suspense. The world feels small, it’s centered around the MC, with nothing much happening anywhere else. The MC gives off major school shooter vibes. He got bullied in school and beaten by dad, so he turns into a sadistic, entitled twerp. Ever wondered what would happen if one of those flat ‚rich young master‘ characters got overpowered? It’s this novel. And the worst thing is, the author succeeded in making the MC very much sound like his age of 16. He is just so cringe when doing evil. It’s like he cosplays as an anime baddie.
This mystery box style of writing is starting to become harder and harder to bear. I‘m praying author-san doesn’t make so many payoffs a lazy mystery box going from here…
"I-I see…" Charles mumbled, clearly impressed with the strategy I had devised.
Fantasy · Magecrafter
Dafuq
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who considered the food of the Camp to be trash.
Fantasy · Magecrafter
Petty.
He sighed, calming himself. No matter how scared he was of me, he wasn't about to risk everything he had built or even lose his life in the process. I could tell he was being careful.
Fantasy · Magecrafter
Simp.
Well, it was possible if they could accommodate bums like those fools who could do nothing but sing the praises of the heroes. Still, for her to have entered Ana's room so casually… I thought she had a high rank or something similar.
Fantasy · Magecrafter
Chaotic neutral my ass
"W-WHAT?!" A deafening sound of disagreement was made by the group.
Fantasy · Magecrafter
3 consecutive sentences starting with ‚it‘.
It was daylight now so the zombies were quite weak. A powerful monster over level 50 would only appear at midnight.
Fantasy · DonnEll
4 consecutive sentences starting with ‚He‘.
He squatted down and placed his palm on the surface of the rock. He closed his eyes and felt the mana inside the rock. He controlled his mana and he followed it to the magic circle.
Fantasy · DonnEll
Solid writing quality. MC is overall tolerable and does not act too irrational. My 2 biggest issues are: 1) Motivation. The MC does not have any actual motivation to get strong. He does not even have any goals, making his journey feel empty. 2) Zero social relationships. MC does not have any meaningful connection with anyone. He doesn‘t care about anyone and nobody cares about him.
Necromancer Of The Shadows
Fantasy · Zero_writer