Good start so far. Some paragraphs could be split into more and some better wording, but I'm enjoying it.
Omoshiroi
Unfortunately for him, he was now intangible and was unable to grasp any physical object that could stop him from being sucked into the terrifying portal.
Fantasy · IAmGuavaFruit
Dying alone is scary...
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Fantasy · IAmGuavaFruit
Great start so far, but I'd split this paragraph into 2. Readers hate wall of text
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Urban · Xiaoru
hmmm it's already chapter 10 huh... I swear it was shorter (in a good way of course)
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Realistic · XXXXC
5 chapters in and it's a good so far. The writing quality isn't perfect(although nothing is flawless) I want see an improvement with the writing quality.
I'm loving this so far! And uhh... try to split those long paragraphs. Wall of text isn't appealing to readers.
Hmm... Kinda resembles the setting of Big Hero 6. The word choice is a bit iffy here tho
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Fantasy · JJ_Prakoso
Character design definitely one of this novel's strong point.
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Realistic · XXXXC
It was an enjoyable read. The writing isn't the best but it was enough to keep me reading. There were some phrases that could be rephrased, and some paragraphs could be split to make it reader-friendly, but all of these problems could be fixed by just continuing to write. Other than that, the premise kept me hook and I will definitely come back here for more
please reset the booktitle IAmGuavaFruit 20231218092329 21
Fantasy · IAmGuavaFruit