Mary_Boogaard

Mary_Boogaard

female LV 2
2021-05-02 Joined United States
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Original works
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Moments 100
Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Commented

add dialogue about consequences for attacking apprentices in front of their master

Like puppets, the two Wiccans rose and were dragged by an invisible force towards her. The air around the two Wiccans kept the two of them from moving, like an invisible tornado. Isabel ignored how Johnathan started to fight against the compact dirt that bound him. She ignored how Miriam kept pleading with her. Isabel gripped the athame that previously severed Johnathan's dominant arm from his body.

The Ventus Custos

The Ventus Custos

Fantasy · Mary_Boogaard

Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Commented

could add more dialogue

Dirt rose up upon her command and bound Johnathan within until only his head was visible. From the corner of her eye, she saw James pick up the two Wiccans with his magic and continuously slam them into the side of a brick building until they were knocked unconscious. It broke her heart that these Wiccans could so easily ignore her when she gave her warnings. Did they think because she was a minor that she would not live up to her word? She studied Johnathan, who held his head up high. "Was I not clear?"

The Ventus Custos

The Ventus Custos

Fantasy · Mary_Boogaard

Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Commented

needs fixing, after jnnocence

She was his master, his friend, and everything that the Thuban Coven was supposed to be. Isabel was the only person he trusted to have her back, and if he had to choose between the Thuban Coven and Isabel; he would pick Isabel until the end of time and Magick. "If I don't act, more innocence to summoned demons. I might lose control, James. Besides the anger that burns in my soul, I have obligations that I have to live up to, sworn oaths that I made in the name of Magick. A severed limb in the place or the loss of a trained Livingstone Custos? There is no one in the Magick community who would turn against one who guards the Custos, James."

The Ventus Custos

The Ventus Custos

Fantasy · Mary_Boogaard

Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Commented

needs fixing, spell here

"Yes, Madame Fenstermacher." Isabel said, curtsying when she left the warm embrace. She placed her hand on her forehead, and slowly moved it down to her chin whilst she chanted, "Obstrepat!"

The Ventus Custos

The Ventus Custos

Fantasy · Mary_Boogaard

Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Commented

needs fixing

"Return to your master, Baptiste, for you have severed your purpose well." The girl whispered before the sword faded out of this realm. Her pale hand clenched before fishing into her cloak for a lighter to burn the blood before the twinkling lights from the stars gave way to the sun and someone reported his to the police.

The Ventus Custos

The Ventus Custos

Fantasy · Mary_Boogaard

Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Posted

I dare you to give this story a try. There's a really interesting story here. A genuine slice of life story that paces itself working with a system concept. The story seems developing well. Overall, this story is a compelling read. Personally, I like a little bit more depth to my characters as well as my world building. Slice of life fiction is not really my cup of tea either. ^-^;; I hope you keep up the great work.

Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Replied to DelilaHunts

I'm glad that you're enjoying the book, but really Delilah, go read someone else's work! XD

Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Replied to Mary_Boogaard

The reason for that is because Guild of Heroes is a mobile game now and I did not want to be accused of copyright infringement.

Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Replied to Giglet

I wanted someone to balance out Joseph and Benjamin for Emilia to NOT feel overwhelmed, nice to know that I accomplished that.

"Joey! Just shut up and sit down," Sharon said. Emilia was told that there was only going to be one other girl in the house. She was given a rundown of everyone before they came over for a dinner. Her uncles and father wanted to slowly introduce everyone before making the move to have the teens over full-time. The girl had already opened her lunch bag and was starting to eat her lunch. "You're making a scene with your big mouth. Emilia will tell us if she's being bullied if she wants to, don't be forceful with her."

Dark Starling

Dark Starling

Teen · Mary_Boogaard

Mary_Boogaard
Mary_Boogaard
3 years ago
Replied to DelilaHunts

I'm completely fine with it? And I'm happy that you're enjoying the book!

  • The Ventus Custos original

    The Ventus Custos

    Fantasy ACTION MAGIC DARK DEVIL

    Isabel Livingstone is a walking legend. Her family created the most prestigious school in the city. She's the talk of the school; pretty, rich, and good grades. However, behind the facade that the public sees is a Wiccan chosen by Magick to be a Guardian; the Ventus Custos. It is an honour like no other, not that these Wiccans understand. But she would make them; with her apprentice and newly formed Coven, she will make all the Wiccans see what a Custos and a Livingstone was capable of.

    9 Chs 5 Collections

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