Luzparadise_

Luzparadise_

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(Inactive and still sticking to my drafts.) I am a fulltime gamer and at the same time a Filipino writer.

2021-03-04 Joined Global
Activity
Original works
Badges 3

Moments 202
Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Replied to Alaiza_May

salamat po! Mag-uupdate po ulit ako bukas <3

Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Posted

okay, I thought this would be some so-called romance story that has been a replica of other stories but I was wrong. Your concept was different and the first chapter was really interesting, you have your own way of making your story interesting and worth reading. Your story has a nice spacing and you did great with the dialogues but there is still a lot of things to improve but that's okay that is the part of life and you have so much potential just keep writing!! Adding this to my lib!

Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Posted

I am giving you five stars!!! I really love this!!! The first part made me already fall in love. It is very well written and very interesting, you did a great job illustrating the scenes in the first chapter. It's proved to me that your writing is on the highest level. I salute you! And I never expect that there would be actions here, I thought this would be some mild adventure story about a doctor? OMG! I thought it was because the title and book cover is cute. Sorry about that, LOl! In any way, your skills in writing are very great and this story is the biggest proof. Adding this to my library!

Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Commented

okay, so I really love this paragraph including the first two !!! I am in love, you did a great job writing them, I love it!!!

Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Posted

Okay, so there is nothing much for me to say since it only consists of 3 chapters. The first one is notice and then so on. I am hoping to read more so I could properly say my thoughts. First of all, I thought that this story would be some kind of Romance? The modern one but the title made me think about if it really is. The chapter's length was average but I can see you put so much effort into writing it. The first chap was kind of interesting since there are some paragraphs in which you describe the ranks and some type of werewolves. you did great writing the dialogues of your characters. First, I was having a hard time memorizing the names of your characters since there were a lot of characters introduced in the first two chapters but I think that's my own problem. You have so much potential and I am hoping to see more, I'll add this to my library so I can read more. Keep writing Author!

Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Posted

Your book cover and the title are really interesting, I even misread the title and thought it was "Incognito" I'm sorry, author! HAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, and what's inside is more interesting. I love how the way you illustrate the scenes, you did well writing this story. I am in awe, really!!! I'll add this to my library! since I'll definitely gonna read further!!

Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Replied to Alaiza_May

salamat po! Mag u-update rin po ako!

Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Posted

first of all, I love your book cover since Fubuki from one punch man is there. She is my waifu so, points for you hahaha joke. Next, the title... I thought it would be horror but it's like a mystery novel. The synopsis is great, it's really interesting, this is pretty interesting and good but in the chapters, you used *smile* instead of using the " *smiles* " You can just use, "She started smiling," "She smiled" or anything that it could describe that person smiling. There is still a lot more to improve but that is part of life and you have potential. Keep writing!

Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Commented

great job!!! This is a great start!!!

Flames of fire kept flickering and dancing. Waves within waves quivering creating a crackling sound one could hear as the wood kept splitting due to the oppressive heat produced by the fire. Thus, emitting smoke into the surroundings.

Ghost Busters

Ghost Busters

Urban · Lonewo1f

Luzparadise_
Luzparadise_
3 years ago
Posted

this is a great book, the first chapter is really nice. The synopsis is really interesting and nice, kudos to you author. I could see that you made a great effort to write this story and it really pays off... I mean look how beautiful and well-written your novel is... it's really nice and I love it, it's already in my library because I love it, the storyline and interesting events really pulls me in to read more and who am I stop reading this masterpiece! Keep writing author!

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