This is a beautiful one-shot with engaging dialogue that can set the scene and atmosphere on its own. The worldbuilding is intricate and see** through naturally through the character interactions with one another and the built environment. I will be patiently waiting for future stories set in this world. I found it most interesting that you chose to include the narrator as a character in that way. It made him appear as if speaking directly to us and the character at the end. However, I found it somewhat confusing at times in the narration. But is likely due to limitations of inkstone. I hope you continue to experiment with this technique in the future.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad the subtext behind the two was picked up. Their relationship will be very important to the progression of the plot, but maybe in a way that might disappoint you. For the rest of the story, I'll be sticking to the past tense. In the first segment, I was trying to mix up my style of writing following the advice of some self-help books. Didn't work as I expected, but I was satisfied with it enough to keep it as is. Again, thank you very much for your kind words. If you ever pick up TW: Attila, just remember that any battle can be won, with enough cheese and savescum.
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original Crown of a Thorn King
Seventeen years following the ravages of a war that created three bitter generations, a fragile peace dithers at the brink. Like a woven cloth, a web of alliances, treaties, and secrets uphold the delicate balance between two great powers: The ancient empire of the Elemeri, whose outstretched arms guard jealously the coastline of the known world. And the Holy See, an amalgamation of squabbling fiefdoms, duchies and papal lands in whose chaotic existence answers to no one ruler, save a single uncaring god. In such a world Lindel, the son of heroes, has been made a captain of the Palatine Guards. What appears a most envious post at first is a death trap for those caught unprepared, and he knows this best. For to be a guardian to the children of ancient kings is to walk a delicate tightrope. Together with a band of misfits and raw recruits, he must navigate the uneasy and shifting alliances between senators, generals, and less savoury characters. If not for the fragile peace, the life work of his father, then for his self-preservation, he must seek to preserve a status quo that he does not trust. For in the Empire, pieces of parchment and handshakes are all that stands between peace, and total war. Like cloth, such things are delicate. They can be cut and broken. Forever.9 Chs 5 Collections
Overall this story is consistent in quality throughout and would make for an excellent read if you have interest in this genre. It is consistently uploaded without sacrificing its effectiveness in writing. I'll be looking forwards to future releases.[img=recommend]
GOBLINS
Fantasy · I_drink_coffee