I'm a bit lost reading them but good thing my mind was creative enough to imagine what was going on. Feedback: You write at a fast pace and your description is nicely written but watch out for some readers who don't have wild imaginations. Also, this was the first time I read too many prologues. Suggestion for your next novel: Try to write one prologue that could already hook up the readers. The rest of it could be along the story which could be shown up through dreams, or flashbacks or could be a deja vu kind of thing. I hope this comment will help you ^^
Hmm, now that you mention it, it does...I'll divide them as soon as I edit them ^^ thanks for this comment.
As they went back to doing their job, the lady in the cracked mask over her right eye, went to the perimeter of the woods next to the orphanage. There were some firemen checking the site but none of them could find anything even a survivor or a corpse. Everything was turned into ashes and she doesn't like what she was seeing since it was reminding her of something she doesn't want to remember. She suppressed those creeping memories that wanted to surface in her mind as she kept looking around the nearby woods beside the burned orphanage. Tracks of the ashes were all over the place until she glances up to the second floor of the burned orphanage where every window was being smashed because of the explosion but there was something she noticed among the broken window not far from where she was standing still.
LGBT+ · MistIris
Wow and thanks as I'm glad that you felt that way ^^
Then everything came rushing into the dreaming lady as if it wasn't the right time for her to know what it meant. She was immediately being pulled out from her dreamland when the heat began to make her toss and turn over her single but comfortable bed but not this time. There was heat radiating around that made her uneasy as she tried to go back to her sleep but can't. Not any longer as sweat came to be visible which made her realize that it wasn't because there was no air coming out from the air-conditioning anymore but flame. The flame was all over the place which frightened her as soon as she opened her eyes. That's the first thing she didn't want to deal with when she woke up from a meaningful dream.
LGBT+ · MistIris
Thanks, I hope to write like that throughout the story...hoping ^^
The fun and the ecstatic dream turned into a chaotic downfall of a land that almost burned into ashes followed by so many deaths falling down beneath her feet. Blood and massacre were everywhere in the sight. Noises from crying children as they lost their parents on the battlefield and pleading voices of the innocent victims as she kept walking further within her dream. There was also some screaming of a dying citizen around the land which made a sorrowful pain in the heart even though it was just a dream of the young lady.
LGBT+ · MistIris
You'll be surprise later ^^
Chapter 1: The New Era
LGBT+ · MistIris
Better to stay in tune then and thank you ^^
thank you ^^
Thank you, though I still need to improve them. But again, thank you, as you and every reader of my stories give me more reason to improve them. ^^
It's okay and thank you for the opinion. It will help me a lot, if not in this story but in my soon stories. thank you very much ^^.
Indeed she is ^^
"They didn't tell me anything if that's what you wanted to ask them." She confessed to me that made me frown and irritated at her. I hate her!
I THE SCENTS
LGBT+ · MistIris