MrDotman_Sr

MrDotman_Sr

LV 4
2020-06-01 Joined Global
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MrDotman_Sr
MrDotman_Sr
1 years ago
Posted

so far where I'm at into the story, you introduced too many characters without fleshing out the Mc himself enough. Mc just pulls out technological innovations out of his behind and nobody questions him twice, nobody believes the reason he knows all this knowledge but they just don't care how he knows it. the way Octavius's character was created seemed lazy, for instance when his sister was laughing about his death I was wowed, but then it was like oh did you know he was a piece of garbage blah blah blah, I just felt that every single character up till chapter 16 is 2d. there are some writing mistakes but I think they lessened as the story progressed. overall I still enjoyed reading this story but these things added up for me. My bad if I rambled a little In this, anyway if you did or didn't read all that have an amazing day!!!

MrDotman_Sr
MrDotman_Sr
MrDotman_Sr
1 years ago
Replied to Helrym

the word soccer originated in Britain

"But on broomsticks, and with nasty cannonballs trying to kill those poor blokes," Oliver added dryly. "Means their salary's justified at least! Not like those damn Welsh soccer players and their noodle-like legs forgetting how to play the ball and-"

Umbrus Shade, The Incredibly Annoyed Ravenclaw

Umbrus Shade, The Incredibly Annoyed Ravenclaw

Book&Literature · OmnipresenceBeing

MrDotman_Sr
MrDotman_Sr
2 years ago
Replied to Xerxes717

img

"It's a healthy boy Lady Arryn, congratulations", wait did she just say Lady Arryn? I slowly opened my eyes the harsh light making it difficult to see. Once everything came into view, I could see the face of a beautiful young woman covered in sweat and looking rather haggard. Her eyes however were filled with life and shined with love and affection, immediately I knew she was my mother. As I was adjusting to all this new information I was suddenly overcome by a feeling of mental and physical exhaustion and drifted off again to sleep.

The Bloody Falcon

The Bloody Falcon

TV · John_sins1

MrDotman_Sr
MrDotman_Sr
3 years ago
Replied to BlackMiracle

Didn't they JUST try to sacrifice a baby, how are these guys NOT being barbaric right now.

Amon's blood started to boil hearing this. 'This bastard… just you wait, wait 8 years. I'll kill you, I'll break all your bones and murder you right in front of everyone.'

One Piece: Reborn as a Skypiean

One Piece: Reborn as a Skypiean

Anime & Comics · Master4thWall