BreathingMoon

BreathingMoon

male LV 3

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2020-03-04 Joined United States
Activity
Original works
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BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
2 years ago
Posted

Alright: I love the dramatic tension these first chapters set, which is very hard to establish and maintain in certain novels for the most part. Generally, overtime I'd expect it to become a little off-putting, so I pray you manage that well as the series continues. After this spike in tension with the opposing forces, I'd always recommend keeping a dark- gritty tone. I'd recommend using more 'Dirty' feeling words to describe this world to fit the tension, as in litterally describing everything as dusty or damp- something like that. As for everything else, it's quite good.

BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
3 years ago
Replied to Michael_Crew

I hope you enjoy this series, it gets even more ridiculous later down the line! And apologies in advance that I didn't finish it, I'm working on a half sequel/reboot.

| Stats : | 500% Damage bonus to all spells | | 50% Decrease in Mana Cost | | | Grants " Dragon's Gifted " Race |

StarDuster - Glory of the Umbral Avenger

StarDuster - Glory of the Umbral Avenger

Games · BreathingMoon

BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
3 years ago
Commented

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If you wish to support me, you can review, comment, follow or even share the story. Thank you =)

Dungeon Overlord System

Dungeon Overlord System

Urban · Glasgow1

BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
3 years ago
Commented

Thanks for reading and commenting!

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This chapter has been deleted.
StarDuster

StarDuster

Fantasy · BreathingMoon

BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
3 years ago
Posted

Can't go wrong with a quiet and simple story like this one, a relatively interesting 'cast' as well as an interesting concept and gimmick. I'd only wish to improve the articulation of the sentences to fit a bit better with reading.

BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
3 years ago
Posted

Broad El Busta kakakakakakakakakakkaak kakakakakakkaka : pepe_grimace : : point_right : : tomato : kekekek tomato el busta kakakakakka

BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
3 years ago
Posted

Kekekekekekekekekekkeekekk Broad el busta akakakakakakakakakkakakakk keke :pepe_grimace: : point_right: : tomato : tomato el busta kakakakaka

BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
3 years ago
Replied to unosknight7274

Thank you for leaving so many positive comments :) I know this novel is a little off at times, but I sincerely hope you enjoy it!

BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
4 years ago
Commented

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

BreathingMoon
BreathingMoon
4 years ago
Commented

MAINTENANNNNCCEEEE BUUUSSSSTTAAAAAAA

The lady in prim blue uniform had watched in surprise. "Oh—I'm sorry, we're currently under maintenance—"

Prismatic Sovereign's Legacy

Prismatic Sovereign's Legacy

Fantasy · Magical

  • StarDuster original

    StarDuster

    Fantasy ACTION ROMANCE ADVENTURE REINCARNATION SYSTEM COMEDY HAREM CULTIVATION KINGDOMBUILDING

    --------------------------------------------------------- Contact me on Discord! BreathingMoon#4617 ---------------------------------------------------------- Updates Thursdays, 2-3 times a month. ----------------------------------------------------------- Read Chapters Early! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HWpbWp3PWuPbM2c6wpWRoqwzBVM3pjFPbW0c_jEp4zY/edit?usp=sharing The Google Document is now officially compatible with Dark-Mode on Opera, and augmented for a better reading experience. ---------------------------------------------------------- Starduster is an Action Fantasy novel with a heavy focus on the interworking of the greatest inter-multiversal country to ever exist... after its great fall into despair. The recently resurrected leader of the country will mount the world upon his back once more, and try to carry his subjects to higher standings once again. Throughout this novel, we take the POV of multiple characters, most typically the country's leader, Avery Hall. The name of the nation is Empyrea, a government of all sorts of unique and wonderful creatures as well as the helpful creation of his design; The Automata. Avery's goal is to figure out the mystery of where his people disappeared to after he died, defeat an opposing ruling force known as the 'Angels of Order', make peace with Demons, and aid Humanity in their struggles, all the while juggling the interpersonal and court-house relations of him, his subordinates, and visitors from across the universe. -----------------------------------------------------------

    27 Chs 21 Collections

  • StarDuster - Glory of the Umbral Avenger original

    StarDuster - Glory of the Umbral Avenger

    Games ACTION ADVENTURE REINCARNATION SYSTEM COMEDY HAREM CULTIVATION VIDEOGAME

    Completed

    My Father always told me to stand tall, this is my opportunity to do just that. [ This novel has been discontinued, a redux version of this series is currently in production. ] A glorious reign over the realm only to be hunted, a glorious return only to be haunted. Avery Hall had a fair share of experience when it came to the many layers of humanity. With the death of our real world in the future, everyone gets digitized and becomes... well, Immortal. To a degree. But how to do you spend immortality? Video Games... of course, with everything being digital... and with Hyper Advanced A.I... it's possible to create games that simulate what reality used to be like. Our story takes place in Starduster MMO, a fantasy based MMO game where the game's story is run mainly by player choice, with any choice being an important factor into anything. Our main point of view is Avery Hall, who specializes in the Sniper Class, a long range damage class that uses a Rifle. He is quite efficient at making use of all he has available, and is kind of a jerk. Avery also has been preventing the Progress of the game by holding on to a Key Artifact, other players find out about this and after a while decide they don't want him around anymore. While normally death lowers levels... his reputation is too low within the game and he gets banned, luckily he has a second account, as most V.I.P. users in the world do... Avery, swears to return the status quo, but maybe he'll be good this time... hopefully, habits take a long time to stop. So we join Avery's journey to get back to the top, just make sure he doesn't forget to properly transfer accounts.

    222 Chs 217 Collections

  • Biology of Monsters original

    Biology of Monsters

    Fantasy ADVENTURE COMEDY

    ' Regarding monsters, the first thing to consider is their tenacity, second is their cunning, and third should be their cruelty. ' What defines monsters? Nothing in particular, the definition is blurred by both apathy and empathy for those beasts... anything sentient that means harm is a monster, that is what researcher Dr. Umbra has decided. Dr. Umbra has decided one other thing, ethics will no longer be considered. _________ Set in a world purged of humans... Violent Monsters, Demons, and Ferocious Beasts have take over. The strong rule, and the weak die. That is just how it is on this new world, but with every disaster comes survivors. Evolution was not about to abandon Humanity. The stragglers of civilization drastically changed and developed to survive. Some Humans who bunkered down in giant halls of stone and iron became smaller and more hardy to survive the cramped environment and limited diet. Some Humans hide amongst the trees, their reflexes and perception vastly improved to suit the hostile environment. Some Humans became monsters themselves, after all if you can't beat them, join them. Though, there remains one. Either through some form of Immortality Drug, Complex Bio-Machinery, or maybe even Magic, there remains one Human. Hidden away under some corner of the Earth lies Umbra's laboratory, a bunker made of alloy strong enough to resist extinction. Alone, he continued his studies on and on... until finally, he deemed the world safe enough to leave once more. Maybe now he will have some live samples of these so called ' Monsters '.

    6 Chs 9 Collections

  • StarDuster: Comrades original

    StarDuster: Comrades

    Fantasy ACTION ADVENTURE SYSTEM COMEDY

    Following the Fall of Earth, Humanity has turned to technology to preserve themselves through whatever means nessesary. Now through heaven or hell, we take a look at Humanities... well, not finest. - A Side Story to ' StarDuster ' - Planned Episodes |--> Arch |--> Melody |--> Dice |--> Syn |--> Tungston |--> ••• |--> ••••••

    3 Chs 0 Collections

  • Spore original

    Spore

    Horror

    Completed

    * Dropped *

    3 Chs 0 Collections