The story is really good, but I suggest you get an editor or proofreader because some of the sentences are very long. The correct use of commas and periods should also be noted.
ahem ahem —— I got no gifts and powerstones yesterday were too weak, my heart is sad and I feel so lonely!!why do you have to do this to me, just tell me where am I lackingggggg~ I will please you all ( through my books) I promise.
Fantasy · fairytail72
wrong use of pronouns
My Wife is a Psychic
General · Wuxia