TOFIE

Nice chat gpt description.

[ Review from Chapter 1] Honestly I can't be bothered with the review anymore. I went through a lot of things to say for this one, but It was too long. I think the main character deserved the bullying and his sister being harrassed and his father getting fired and my reasons for it is simple. It's a light consequence for the things he did through out the chapter. If many people on this story is here for solo leveling or world traveling my honest opinion. Don't read chapter 1. The system and the shadow monarch abilities are used by a fragile 16 year old kid with a deformed sense of justice. If the writer wasn't so focused on his over focused sob story about the bullies it would have been a good story, but this entire chapter is just info dump about a 16 year olds bland revenge for being a bully victim. My advice for the writer. You shouldn't overfocus on serious events, why talk about killing someone when you use murder and kill to explain an entire scene. That's the problem you explain like a news report but not show us what he did. Don't take it to heart. I like solo leveling, but I'm not interested in this 16 year old bullshit.

You don't read your own story, if you did you will find out what I'm talking about. Go proof read and find out.

My thoughts for getting better is to practice speaking what you write. You don't need to simplify. Just write, read it through by mouth and then adjust to your liking.

The best way to describe your grammar is over explaining almost everything. You explain parts that aren't important. Here's an example: Jin-woo looked at the sun and he breathe heavily. What I would write: Jin-woo looked over his shoulder to the sky and took in a deep breath for control. The first example is explaining a scene in an instant, but you exaggarete that one topic over a few sentences. The second is a smoother experience to make readers imagine the moment but does not over focus.

[ Review from Chapter 7] In my honest opinion, My reasons are simple. The abilities are the only unique thing that appears when writers decide to write a fanfiction, but nothing else changes. In that sense, expect there to be the average scenarios, the average solo leveling canon events and other than to have a protagonist that is a copy of Jin-woo under different circumstances. The story is not bad, because what I think about it does not matter, everyone has their own about it, but I will point out some infuriating things. - Extremely short chapters with meaningless words and conversations. - Copy paste canon events, but applied to a different character, but thats something a lot of people do on here, so it can be looked over, just not for me. - The entire content of all 7 chapters could be summed up in a few words. [ Mc enters world, Architect forces Mc, Mc agrees wakes up in canon event after dungeon.] But those points are dragged out across 7 short chapters and the rest is just monologues of shallow thought out characters expressing their unimportant thoughts to move a plot. I'm not invested, but I think I got catfished by the first part of the synposis and the second oh boy. What victory does the Mc get out of a solo leveling story? [...] He may know the peace of death but I know the chaos that is life. [ (o.0)] He may create armies even when in battle but I designed the battlefield.[ [(-.~)>] War cometh but Victory is mine.[ (',') Victory.) If you think war is a victory... Then yes you became the Architects pet. War? Victory? Maybe this would be victory if the chapters wasn't so plain and short.