I closed the door to my room and faced the double-faced Kross. I said:
"Who the fuck is she?"
"Chill it, Oscar. She is who she says she is. A surgeon working here under a contract with the UN. Officially."
"And unofficially?"
"She might be doing a little work for SDECE - for the French intelligence service."
"She's a fucking spy!"
"She's not a fucking spy, and you're fucking stupid. She might be a source for the French, but chances are she isn't even aware of it."
"What!?" He shook his head and gave me a reproachful look. Then he said:
"It usually goes like this: you have a friend. You have a beer with your friend and talk about what you've been up to, oh I drove down to Abidjan to get some shopping done and I ran into those two guys. Then the friend goes and writes a report. Got it? What did you think, that spies have I AM A SPY printed on their foreheads?"
"If she isn't aware she's being used, what was that crack about cars equipped with machine guns?"
He smiled thinly and said:
"I told you I drove armored cars for a living at one point. And like most sensible people, she doesn't like guns."
"You  like guns."
"I belong to the sensible minority that does," he said.
"Don't bullshit me," I said. "She sounded too suspicious. She didn't meet you while you were driving an armored car, did she? She knew."

He let out an irritated snort and shifted his weight from one foot to the other and said:
"Yes, that's exactly how we met, while I was driving around in a fucking armored car. Look, we can go over everything later. We can spend all afternoon and evening tomorrow, if you like. But right now I've got her waiting for me."

This I knew to be true; as we parted company with Mireille, Kross offered assistance in getting her shopping to her car. She wasn't staying at the megahotel; she was just shopping there. Apparently, that was what a lot of whites did, belonging as they did to the local consumer aristocracy. That's the aristocracy of our modern, democratic times: he who pays most is the most noble.

I stared at Kross for a while. Then I said:
"Okay. There are still a couple of questions I need answered tonight. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow I have the whole day to relax, right? Tonight."
"That's my boy," he said. He actually reached out and patted me on my arm. "I'll see you later." And he fucked off, leaving me alone in my room.

It wasn't a bad room to be left alone in; it definitely ranked among the top ten hotel rooms in my life. Like the other nine, it was built to international jetsetter standard, and could have equally well belonged in a hotel located in Paris or New York: true home away from home. The big bed's carved headboard and a couple of pictures (antelopes loping through long yellow savannah grass, a very happy, young, very pretty African female with a bunch of green bananas) indicated the room, and its accompanying bathroom, were in fact located in Africa.

However, the bathroom - and particularly the space-age toilet - were extremely unAfrican. Made of stainless steel, the toilet was a beautifully designed piece. It was the ultimate receptacle for jetsetter waste, and its oval promise was echoed in the stainless steel bidet under the opposing wall. Hygiene-minded jetsetters could hold mini-conferences in this bathroom, the bidet-sitter releasing a warm, comforting spray on the gonads as needed. It would be nice to immobilize Kross there, legs splayed right over the spray nozzle, then switch the water to boiling hot prior to asking a few questions. Question number one would ask Kross to explain what Mireille meant by mischief, no offhand remarks about driving armored cars accepted. Question number two would be whether we really were going to visit her.

I  wanted to see her. I had lots of questions for her, too. Once she'd revealed herself as a surgeon, Mireille changed. It was as if bringing it up had reminded her of the right code of conduct for a professional woman. She became politely friendly with Kross, and friendly polite with me (I didn't mind; I'd just noticed she didn't wear a wedding band).

There were no further remarks about guns or mischief, and she didn't retract or water down her invitation. When we were saying goodbye, she actually said 'see you' to me. What was best, she hadn't cracked a single joke about my name, looks, and the Academy Awards. I hadn't been so smitten by a woman in a long, long time.

I groaned and sat down on the bed. This reminded me of the many useless hours spent in the room next to the toilet, so I moved into the armchair that had been thoughtfully positioned by the window. I couldn't see the lagoon or the office towers. All I could see was night, with a scattering of lights both above and below. Even the moon had fucked off somewhere else; it had better things to do than to be watched by Oscar Hansen. I cast a couple of longing glances at the mini bar, giving my willpower a good workout. I got up and walked around the room once again, stopping to prod a button on the big hotel TV - much bigger than the one I'd had back in my world class home. It burst into life with a spastic crackle, eventually rewarding me with a closeup of an unshaven man mouthing a big breast that had a nipple the size of the business end of the average liquor bottle. There were two fairly long black hairs growing next to the nipple: very unprofessional.

I switched the TV off, feinted towards the mini bar and ended up sitting in the armchair yet again. I sat there, drinkless, and looked at the night. It held no answer; night never does. Neither does the day, but it looks better. It looks as if there was an answer or two - somewhere.

I had a long wait. Kross returned late: my adjusted, re-synchronized watch told me it was nearly eleven local time. By then, I had added several questions to the original Kross list, the most pressing of which was, of course, the most common question asked by fellow travelers, or where the fuck have you been. But it became apparent that all questions will have to wait when he entered.

He brought two women with him, two good-looking hotel whores. They were both mulattas with long, snakelike braided hair: twenty-year-old modern Medusas wearing skimpy vinyl. One had white vinyl hot pants and a black vinyl vest. The other had a black vinyl miniskirt and a white vinyl bolero. It was impossible not to imagine them going down on each other. I said:

"Kross. What the fuck is this?"
"This," he said, "Is Angelique. And this is Monique. They both speak English. They've been around."

He put his arms around them as he spoke, and they giggled appreciatively. The three of them had been drinking or doing drugs or both. They were high, but they were in control. They were true professionals.

"Hello," the white hot pants said to me. She was the slightly uglier one, but still very good-looking. They both had a shining if slightly creaky future in their chosen business. I said:
"I repeat. What the fuck is this?"
"I saw the way you looked at Mireille, and thought it was time for a little rest and recreation," Kross said. "We've worked so hard to get here. It's all part of getting acclimatized."
If he had noticed, then so had Mireille. I swallowed and said:
"I thought you had a full day tomorrow."
"Don't worry about me. I just have to make a couple of calls, and pay someone a visit. I'll be done by the afternoon. Which one do you like better? I like Angelique."

He squeezed the hip of the black miniskirt and she let out a delighted yelp and bit him on the ear. He liked it. He said something French to the hotpants, and opened the door.

"Kross," I said, "Wait. For fuck's sake. We were supposed to talk."
"We'll talk tomorrow."
"Tomorrow when?"
"First thing. Crack of dawn - say, around eleven. I'll give you a shout." He allowed the giggling Angelique to pull him out into the corridor.

The door slammed shut. I looked at Monique. She looked back at me. I asked:
"Would you like a drink?"

She shook her head, grinning, and walked up to me. She got uncomfortably close and I moved a step back.
"My name is Monique," she said.
"I know. My name is Oscar."
"I know," she said, and stepped forward again. I stepped back. I said:
"Look, I don't know if I'm up to this."

Her grin didn't waver. She put a hand on her crotch and gave it a squeaky squeeze. She said:
"Then you can watch."

NOTICE
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What do you do when you've just lost your job, your wife, your home?
The answer is simple: you go looking for treasure in Africa.
NOTE: This is a completed novel I wrote a long time ago.

At Suhyuk's voice, the senior smiled and opened his mouth. 

"I will no more take any questions."

Then he turned on the beam projector. The white screen was full of the skull and its corresponding denominations.

"What's all that?"

The faces of the students began to stain with despair. 

At a glance, the number of the medical terms were over a hundred.

They look like alien and Arabic words. Even more shocking was the senior's instruction: "I'll give you two minutes, and you'll take the test in two minutes, and today it's about the skull. If you cannot memorize them, you won't have any sleep tonight." 

"Oh, the study time is too short! Please give us more, please?"

At their urging, the senior added, "Okay, let me give you two and a half minutes."

Ticking.

The moment the second hand of the clock pointed to 12 o'clock, the senior opened his mouth again, "Start!"

The students started to concentrate intensely.

Some of them were muttering, and others memorizing from their notes. The senior folded his arms, looking at the juniors' studying for the test with a satisfactory expression. An old memory passed through his mind. He went through the same gruelling period when he had to memorize all that stuff.

At that moment Suhyuk raised his hand, asking the senior, "Sir" 

"Did I give them too much time? There is no time to ask…" 

With a slight smile, the senior said, "Okay, what is it?" 

Suhyuk replied cautiously, "I already memorized them in high school..."

In fact, he had not memorized them, but known them for a long time.  

The senior's eyes became wider, but soon went back to normal. 

At the end of the day, this was the kid who got the media limelight since his high school days and was admitted to this medical college with full scholarship. 

The senior felt it was possible Suhyuk had known the names, because the test is just about skull.

As if he appreciated Suhyuk's words, the senior came to him and presented a piece of A4 paper.

"You memorize this..."

Suhyuk confirmed what it was. A human body was drawn on it with countless names. Actually the number of bones in an adult man is 206. Moreover, the names of the neural system, muscles and blood vessels were also written down. How many names were on the paper in total? Well over one thousand. 

When Suhyuk was looking over the A4 paper sheet, the senior student walked back.

"Sir."

Suhyuk's voice caught his footstep, and he turned to Suhyuk again. 

"I know them already, too..."

He narrowed his eyes. With the paper upside down, he was scratching his head.

He knew everything on it. When his expectancy disappeared in a flash, Suhyuk found emptiness coming up in his heart. There was nothing new on the test. 

"Really?"

The senior then gave Suhyuk a pen.

"Let me give you 5 minutes for this test."

With a perplexed look, he said cautiously, because it was not something he could write down in five minutes.

"Sir, is it okay for me to answer verbally instead of writing down the names?" 

With his arms folded, the senior nodded his head.

It was right to do an oral test for this kind of thing. Can he pour out many terms at once? 

"Okay, let's start from the skull to the toe..."

"Fibula, frontal bone, stellate orbital surface, orbital surface, bony, frontal projection, orbital orbital surface, temporal projection…"

Wearing a hollow face, he looked at Suhyuk reciting the names, and shook his head as if he were sick and tired of him. Names that he already forgot or did not think about were coming out of his lips. There were about 20 seconds left. 

"Tarsals, Metatarsals, Phalanges..."

The classroom was quiet. Everyone's eyes were focused on Suhyuk, their mouth wide open, and then the senior burst into a laughter, "Hahaha!"

His laughter quickly stopped.

"What are you doing? Just go home now before you can't take the bus."

"Only me?" 

He gently smiled and nodded his head.

"Yeah, you know it all. You do not have to stay here."

Suhyuk, rising from the seat, made an uneasy face because he had to leave alone.

When he was hesitating, the senior opened his mouth again, 

"What are you doing? I can tell them know-how when even one student is done and goes home like you."  

That made sense.

When he tried to get out of the classroom, someone suddenly grabbed his hand. 

It was Choi Suryon.

She pointed at herself with her fingers and kept muttering to him to save her. 

"Choi Suryun," she was surprised at the senior's calling her.  

"Yes, yes." 

"Did you memorize everything?"

"Well... Time is too short…"

"Two minutes and thirty seconds passed." 

The beam projector was turned off and the senior handed down pieces of A4 paper to the juniors. 

"Test time is 3 minutes. I will give 10 minutes rest for those who get perfect scores. 2 minutes 30 seconds for the others. Start!"

Those looking at Suhyuk enviously quickly held pens to write down the names. 

"Goodbye... to a warm place..." said Choi.

Parting with her, Suhyuk, went out of the classroom bitterly. 

The senior whispered to himself, looking at his back, "He's just great..." 

He's never seen a student who mastered osteology while taking preparatory courses. Not only he but also his professors. 

The word 'osteology' was so infamous that it made the students rage with anger. 

"What kind of doctor will he become?" he muttered. 

There was nothing like jealousy in his murmuring as he looked at the door through which he left. He just had some sort of respect for him as a fellow traveller walking the same path. 

Turning his head back to his juniors, he laughed gently, saying, "One minute left."



-----



The season changed the clothes of the world a few times.

It was the same for Suhyuk. 

He became a first-year student in regular courses, and was walking in the hallway. 

Then, Choi Suryun, running from behind, ran toward him as if she wanted to take his arms.

"Hah, hah." 

Suhyuk shook his head at the sound of her wild panting. 

"Oops, looks like you're breathing your last. Walk slowly."

"Oh, huh, you know that? We are supposed to practice on a cadaver a week later."

When Suhyuk nodded indifferently, she made an expression as if to cry. 

"What should I do? I can not ... I can not!" 

She was already familiar with the picture of cadaver practice because she heard about it from the seniors. 

A cadaver without a leg, or with its neck twisted back. There was also a cadaver, with muscles and tendons revealed here and there after it was dissected. They were not different from us during their lifetime. Now comes the dissecting practice. Just a simple imagination of it made her tremble. 

"I really cannot do that." 

Suhyuk answered briefly, "You have to."

"Don't you feel scared at all?" 

Suhyuk walked with a smile at her words. 

Of course he did not feel indifferent to it. He was a little nervous. In his dreams he did  it countless times. But it is the first time he has to do it after he woke up.

It was a lie if he did not get nervous. Suhyuk blew away his tension with a short breath. 

He determined though, that he would get everything he could learn during cadaver practice to meet the wishes of the deceased who made a difficult decision in life. 

First-year students attending regular medical courses moved to the outskirts of the school. 

The memorial place was located outside the practice building, with a monument. The monument was offered by the bereaved to honor the deceased who donated their bodies. The monument did not contain a single name. Instead, seven portraits were hung on it.

Suhyuk looked at the faces in the photo one by one. And he muttered in his heart. 

'Thank you, thank you.'

"Silence."

The politely dressed students closed their eyes and bowed their heads at the teaching assistant's word. 

They could not be more quieter and holier. Some female students were seen shedding tears.

What kind of words were they conveying to the deceased? After that ceremony that did not last long, the students moved back to hear the lecture.



***



The students who turned pale barely moved to the practice place.  

Among the crowd was Suhyuk wearing a white gown. 

"What are you doing? Come in!" 

The teaching assistant pressed them. 

The students who lingered in front of the door started to go inside.

Seven wooden lids placed on the practice bench. 

"This is unit 1, that is unit 2…" 

According to the assistant's instruction, the students who have formed their own units moved to their designated practice bench. 

"It is the place where the deceased is located. Lay down the lid cautiously. Do it."

The practice room was quiet. They got so anxious. The wooden lid was lowered. The cadaver was illuminated over vinyl covering it. Have they ever seen a body like this before?

There were yellow subcutaneous fats on the skin that popped all over the place. 

"..."

The practitioners who closed their mouth trembled with panic and fear. 

The girls had already started shedding tears, and the boys became hardened like stone statues.

"Wheck!"

It was not uncommon for them to retch. They stepped back before they knew it. 

"Get close!"

At the cold voice of the assistant, the students, with closed eyes, approached the practice bench.

"Why are you crying in front of the noble resolve of the deceased?" 

He again pressed them. 

"The crying guys will get expelled from the room."

The atmosphere of the room was heavy. 

So much so that they could not hear even ants moving. 

The fragrance of formaldehyde from the cadaver made them sick and it pierced their eyes.

"Cut the vinyl with the scissors next to it."

Everyone hesitated. But before long, some courageous students began to cut the vinyl.

Then, the smell of formalin, which drifted silently, became clear. 

Good luck? They finished the cutting of the vinyl of the cadaver. With everybody shivering, Suhyuk stepped up and removed the vinyl calmly. 

It was a figure of an old man who seemed to be kind. 

Without any clue how he died, his face was a little distorted. 

By the time everyone was arranging the vinyl on one side, the professor came in.

Looking at the students, he opened his mouth, 

"In front of the cadaver, doing your best is a courtesy and a sign of respect."

Everyone nodded. They looked like they were pulling themselves.  

"The practice that we are doing now is the basis of the basics, and the blood and flesh from this cadaver will be the blood and flesh for you to be a doctor." 

Suhyuk belonged to unit 7, and even though they firmly refreshed their determination, no one came up to grab the scalpel. The unit members all looked at Suhyuk. With a bitter laugh, Suhyuk took the scalpel and closed his eyes briefly. 

"Grandpa. thank you for giving us the chance to learn."

Opening his eyes, he moved the scalpel up to the forearms of the cadaver.

As soon as the scalpel was applied to the skin, it was opened up slightly. It passed through the dermis and cut off the subcutaneous fat. The yellow fat clenched the muscles messily. 

Then he removed the delts calmly. Then he handed the scalpel to the other student next to him.

He was handed the scalpel with a trembling hand.

"You can do it, you have to." 

At Suhyuk's encouragement, he nodded, swallowing dried saliva on his mouth. 

Unexpectedly, the practice was going well.

Not only the boys who hesitated, but also the girls who were tearful regained their composure and cut the skin. 

Suhyuk, watching his unit members, unconsciously examined the whole body of the cadaver.

Then one area attracted his attention. A string mark on the neck was clear. "Suicide?" 

"Though he ended his life regrettably, his bereaved family donated his body according to his will," said the assistant, passing by. 

Suhyuk nodded his head. 

"We'll resume after 10 minutes' break," said the professor.

The students flocked to the bathroom as soon as he said that, and so did Suhyuk. 

At that moment, he made a frown when he was getting out of the door.

He smelt alcohol from someone out there.

The guy who was freaking out that he could not practice in a sober condition finally had a drink. 

He wondered how he got in here without being caught by the assistant. 

The break time passed quickly. Originally, it took one or two weeks to dissect, but because of the internal situation of the school, they had to finish all the dissection practice in eight hours.

So they have to come back again in less than a month. Shaking their heads, they went back to the cadaver. 

This time, Suhyuk was the first to take a scalpel. At his unhindered movement, his unit members were just astonished. Given the dissecting speed, it looked like they were able to see everything from the origin of muscles to the insertion. He clearly showed not only the blood vessels but also the tendons to the unit members, which he cut off clearly. The boys muttered with a blank expression,

"He's different ..."

He looked like he was born to be a doctor.

The girls listened to Suhyuk's explanation while taking a glance at the cadaver. 

The assistant walking around was astonished at him, who had been demonstrating on his own why he was famous.

"Damn it! You guys are chopping the muscles…" shouted the assistant, rushing toward the Unit 2 members.

The time was already approaching 6 PM. 

Now the weary students looked at the cadavers with indifferent eyes. 

What remained for them was to look into the organs.

The professor said, "The organs can be extracted but should be kept as original as possible."

Suhyuk naturally raised his hand on cadaver's belly, and when he stopped his hand, he moved the scalpel without hesitation. 

A thin peritoneal membrane encircling the organs was revealed. 

A very delicate technique.

Other boys would have split it with the skin, however, there was no way they could know about it. 

"This is the peritoneum," said Suhyuk.

Did they listen to him? They were anxious, swallowing dry saliva, looking at the organs behind it.

Suhyuk was forced to move the scalpel again. The internal organs were evident when the peritoneum was dissected. 

"I think that swelling will happen ..." 

The thorax was swollen as a whole.

Then Suhyuk lifted the ribs. The organs seemed to stick together with a sticky mucus. 

The unit members barely pulled themselves through, though they felt like passing out. 

Unlike them, Suhyuk was casting his gaze at the cadaver here and there. 

The organs looked different from normal ones. 

"What the heck is this ..." 

The swollen lung covered almost all the chest as if it was full of water. 

Besides, it covered even the stomach and duodenum.

Suhyuk lifted up his head. His gaze was fixed at the neck of the cadaver with a clear line mark.

Suhyuk's eyes fell down coldly.

The golden hour where one can save a life.

Golden Time.

 -----

Revised Synopsis :

Golden time is a Korean Medical Drama/ Reincarnation Novel. The novel is short and progresses quickly as the main character is sent back in time to his teenage years when he got into a severe accident. Causing him to lose most of his memories and even trapping him in a coma for three months. The main character wakes up 3 months later where the only memory remaining in his head are his medical knowledge and his name.

A story about the life of a young teenage boy growing up as he strives to save as many lives as he can and becoming the greatest doctor in the world.

Golden Time, a moment in which a life can be saved!

**A licensed novel from Munpia**

*trigger warning: strong language, depression, suicide, bullying, and abuse* 
Another day at school when Travis starts harassing you once again quotes like, "shut up, you faggot stop talking!" And "you don't deserve to live!" started to get to you. "Maybe he was right maybe if I do ki-," you thought as you run into the man of the hour, Travis. "Hey loser, you were who I was looking for." He says in a hurtful tone. 
"I don't want to see you th-" you trail off. As he picks you up by your collar. He drags you down the hall as your fight or flight kick in and you start trying to fight him kicking, punching you even bit him once. A teacher saw and told you to stop trying to pick a fight with someone you will not win to. She also sent you to the principals office. 
"You will be suspended for three days for hurting another student." She said in a calm tone. 
"What? You didn't do anything to Travis when he-" 
She cut you off saying," what's in the past is in the past, I'm calling your mother to tell her to come pick you up." 
You walk out. Running to the bathroom. " I can't cry at school again." You mumble to yourself. Your mom picks you up and doesn't say a word to you in the car or elevator and then like something clicks in her head starts to yell at you. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" You respond with," take me to a therapist or watch the cameras at school and you'll know!" 
"Don't tell me how to raise you!" 
"Fine just let me be like this all my life!" You yell as you stomp to your room. Maybe you should kill yourself maybe everyone would be happier? You didn't know and if you do it you wouldn't find out. Your mom knocks on your door and says she's going to dinner with her boss. And when she left you look to see if anyone else is there. No one was so you grab a razor and a screwdriver to get the blades out.  You got them out and started writing letters to: Sally, Larry, Ashley, Todd, Mom, and  Travis. Travis is the reason your doing this. You gave sally the bag full of letters and tell him to open them tomorrow. He said okay. 

You go to the bathroom and start cutting, red falls down, tears fill your eyes it hurts but it will not hurt for long. You feel dizzy when you hear bangs on the door before you can see who it is you 'fall asleep'.
 
Sorry this took so long.-Creater

"And that was how we almost got caught fingering in the washroom of Bourbon Steak," I exclaimed, with Nathan listening attentively on a bean bag chair next to me.

It had been a week since it happened. Brad and I have then gone on dates continually, and I believed I was starting to actually fall for him. Sitting in Nathan's messy room, I was telling him about all that happened between me and Brad. 

"Sex aside, he's such a sweet guy," I muttered. "Not only did he treat me to that fancy restaurant, he bought us tickets to the Central Ferris Wheel which expires next month I think."
"Ooh, that's romantic. They say the Central Ferris Wheel is the number one kissing spot in Ophrus," Nathan pointed. "He's a keeper."
"Knowing him, we'll probably do more than just kissing up there," I replied.

"Oh yeah, about that, I still can't believe you just let someone casually give you a blowjob in the cinema like it's nothing!" Nathan put both his hands behind his head. "And finger your professor in a public bathroom stall! That's wicked, man."

"I know, and it was so thrilling, you know," I waved my arms. "I've never done anything in public before."
"You know I haven't either. Lucky, you,"
I faced him again. 

Although he used to live in Mexico, he was actually African American and had medium brown chocolate complexion. He also had a headful of short, scruffy black hair, and some hair growing out of his chin. A light stubble surrounded his tall, square face and looked as if it was developing into a chinstrap beard. Wearing no more than a tight tee and grey cotton shorts, you could see that he was also a fit and lean guy. He had the kind of laugh that was infectious, all with a great sense of humor too. I used to think he had the cutest smile, with the way his eyes squinted every time he laughed. 

He was a messy person though; his room was always the most chaotic and I could see he hasn't changed at all. His clothes were piled on a single chair, a stack of fallen books on his desk collecting dust, and his blanket was scrunched up on the carpet. Typical of him, I thought to myself. He did really like music though, as evidenced by the presence of an electronic drum set and a boxful of vinyl in the corner of his room, one of which I actually gifted him for Christmas. It was SZA's debut album "Ctrl".

Though Nathan was one year younger than me, he went to school one year earlier, so we'd ended up in the same class during high school. 
He didn't look gay superficially, but he'd make so many references to homosexuality that you would know he was. I could still remember the initial time walking into his room when he first moved, solely because of that Frank Ocean poster on his wall that actually later on made me interested in his music. 

I must have blanked out for a short while there, as Nathan narrowed his eyes and asked, "What's up, why you looking at me like that?"
I blinked and shook my head.
"I just remembered how I told Brad you were my first,"
"What the hell? You did?"
"No, like I didn't mention your name at all. I just told him my first time with a guy was four years ago."
"Oh, that's a relief." 
There was a brief moment of quietness. 
We exchanged a series of glances.

"Remember when I moved in next to your parents' house?" Nathan grinned.
"You were the new neighbor," I reminisced.
"I thought you were so cute, so I tried to make a move on you."
"I remember,"
"And then that one night when we had that sleepover,"
"Let's not talk about that…"
"Why not, man? We've been avoiding this topic for ages now, haven't we?"
"I just don't feel comfortable talking about it, you know me."
"We are literally BFFs, Ped. Why can't we talk about this? There's nothing to be ashamed of. We were young and experimented with each other, that's all."
I became silent.
Turning my head to face Nathan, I blurted, "To me, that wasn't just experimenting. I had feelings for you back then, Nathan. Maybe I still do, I don't know. But let's just halt this conversation where it is, alright? I'm… confused."
Nathan had a low-spirited expression. He held both my shoulders, and leaned in for a quick peck on the lips.
"That's how I feel about you, Ped."
Without any exchange of words, he sat on my lap and we locked our lips together again, inciting a more passionate kiss with tongue.

Disclaimer: this novel is very gay and NSFW

Gay college student Ped Luca falls in love with a young professor Brad and tries to maintain a discrete relationship in campus, while his friends Nathan and Antonia help them cover up.

Volume 1: After a fateful encounter one morning, Ped goes on a series of dates with his new professor Brad that are filled with steamy moments and situations.

Volume 2: Ped and his new professor boyfriend Brad spend their first summer together as a couple, meeting new people and trying new things along the way.

Volume 3: As Ped’s third year of college begins, he tries to find balance in his relationships with Brad and Nathan while he is offered an interesting side-job.

Tuesday had arrived, and I could not wait to meet the stranger Michelle told me about yesterday. But after experiencing a few nightmares this past week, I felt the need to relieve some stress out of my body.

Just before Charissa went to work, she had left a handwritten note on the table for me to read carefully. She wrote:

Dear Christine, 

I left you a few pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Hope you enjoy them. And don't forget to clean the house and work on some laundry today. Take care.

Sincerely yours, Charissa

After some breakfast and a few errands, I finally found time to chill and unwind in the living room. At first, I tried watching some television, but there was no good programs to choose from. At that moment, a 30-year-old vinyl player and a few LPs on the cabinet generated my attention.

My dear mother Charissa was an avid new wave fan. She undoubtedly had a valuable collection of Spandau Ballet, Culture Club, INXS and Tears for Fears records. There was also a Mr. Mister 'Welcome to the Real World' LP, graciously given to her as a gift from one of her esteemed colleagues.

I carefully carried the vinyl player and the Mr. Mister record to the table to check if they are still in good working condition. As it turned out, the appliance played just fine and the LP sounded as beautiful as before.

One song that brought my attention was 'Broken Wings', in particular its very tearful chorus. 

Take these broken wings
And learn to fly again
And learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up
And let us in

I sang to 'Broken Wings' and felt my singing voice was as vibrant as ever. It also helped that Cathy taught me some vocal lessons in the summer, although becoming a prolific recording artist was not my forte.

Charissa's other records were also played, much to my delight. But these days, digital streaming is popular and more accessible in my time. Nevertheless, it was fun to dust off that old vinyl record and play an LP or two every once in a while.

While Charissa was a self-confessed new wave fan, I leaned more into sentimental ballads because of my troublesome experiences as a kid. One example was when Cathy played 'Don't Cry Out Loud' during her visit to the room, a sentimental song which brought tears to my eyes.

On this particular day, however, no tears were shed. Instead, I gladly listened to some of the songs on my mobile phone.

There were the classics like 'Careless Whisper' by George Michael and 'Hello' by Lionel Richie. I also dabbled into modern-day hits which include 'We're Never Ever Getting Back Together' by Taylor Swift and 'Thinking Out Loud' by Ed Sheeran.

I always thought of these songs as mental therapy for all the pressures and demands of life, particularly during school days. When bad days happen, music became my source of relaxation and healing.

Later that afternoon, I dropped by a newly opened music store to look at some fresh vinyl records. The store was located a stone's throw from the condominium so walking there was much more convenient.

While I do love to listen on my digital devices, the experience of tuning in to Charissa's vinyl player remains as gratifying as ever. When played on a turntable, an LP sounded more natural than its digital counterparts. That said, I got curious with all the newly released vinyl records that were on sale.

"Do you have any new albums for sale, sir?" 

The store owner answered, "We do have a couple of new ones, mostly classics. I have some Fleetwood Mac, The Cure, and even Hall and Oates for you."

"Fleetwood Mac?" I said to the store owner. "There is the 'Rumours' album in my unit and I love listening to 'Dreams'.

"But Fleetwood Mac is more than just the 'Rumours' album," he responded. "We also have the 'Mirage' and 'Tango in the Night' LPs inside the store. You can sample them here at the turntable for free."

I listened to portions of the 'Mirage' and 'Tango in the Night' albums and it turned out to be both beautiful. The record store owner even implied that 'Little Lies' and 'Hold Me' were the two best songs to listen to on a bad day.

I did have another question in mind, though. "How about The Cure and Hall and Oates? Are they good too?" 

He replied, "They also sound great, particularly the 'Disintegration' and 'Voices' albums. If your day is miserable, then check out 'Lovesong' and 'You Lost That Lovin' Feeling'. They fit your mood pretty well."

After careful sampling and consideration, I decided to buy The Cure's 'Disintegration' record. To me, it felt like an album most teens would want to listen to on a moody day. 

But I never intended becoming a goth like Robert Smith. Nevertheless, the gloomy sound of their album attracted my attention, especially the slow ones such as 'Lovesong'.

That night I played the album to Charissa who had just returned from work. She reacted by saying "Very dark but impressive. I like this album. How much did you pay for it?"

"Around P 1500," my response to the owner.

Charissa followed up by saying "It's too expensive, but then again I used to buy some of the records myself. Thus, I'll forgive you for spending so much."

"But to be honest, our turntable is too old and a bit worn out," she added. "We must replace it soon. What do you say?"

I answered, "Why not? It may be expensive, but we really need an upgrade."

For the rest of the night Charissa and I enjoyed a hearty dinner while listening to some of the other LPs in our unit. It was a very joyful time for both me and Charissa as we relived the days of our youth.

The next morning, I received a text message from Michelle. Looking into my smartphone, I wondered what news Michelle would bring today.

Christine, a 22-year-old college student, decides to open a blog and write a story about her tormented past.

As a young child, Christine was constantly abused and mocked by her classmates for her nearsightedness and portly complexion. To make matters worse, she was left to live with her aunt after her mother was assigned to work overseas and her father became too preoccupied in his work as a doctor.

This story is about a young woman's pursuit towards positivity and joy amid these turbulent times. For Christine, all she wants now is to face her fears and overcome them one by one.

[Abi's POV]

I half opened my eyes and the very first thing I watch was the mirror. The ceiling itself has a mirror. 

"Wonder why somebody has a mirrored ceiling", I frowned confused.

" Maybe they are obsessed with themselves", My subconsciousness made a guess.

My throat was dry I looked aside from the bed there was a glass filled with water. I drink it.

"Satisfied", My subconsciousness got relief.

What the fuck? Where I am? 

I turned to the other side of the bed. 

" TYLER", I screamed inside my head.

I watched him, he was sleeping on his stomach in deep. I got to see his broad shoulder which is really strong. His hairs were wet and there were droplets on his face. I think his skin might be soft like us. Let me touch him. I forward my hands towards his face.

"Are you done? Staring?", Suddenly I heard his voice and got flinched. 

" You scared me", I got relaxation.

He sat up. Why he is not wearing his shirt? Did he and I something? No, it can't be possible. I was drunk but that's quite impossible for me to have drunk sex. 

"Last night, no sex happened between us", He stands up in smirking and got threw a white shirt from his wardrobe on me.
 
How come every time he read my thoughts? Am I that loud?

" Go and get the shower", He ordered. "I will go and make the breakfast", He informed me.

"Do you know cooking? Please don't burn it cause I am not fond of it", I threw some tantrums.

"Babe... Last night you were so drunk that you even tried to force me", He snickered in pleasure.

With the rest of my strength, I dragged myself out of the bed flood of thoughts ran to my mind. But I couldn't recollect it. Am that horny? 

" You never know you were so drunk", My subconsciousness triggered my mind.

"I don't believe you", I said in confidence and walked towards him.

" Believe or not but you slept tight hugging to me. You asked me to sleep with you then I, Tyler refused your request and allowed you to sleep peacefully----", He recited the incident and I interrupted him.

"Stop... I am sure I didn't do such things. By the way, how would I believe that you will be skillful in bed, huh", I raised my brow and tried to make him degrade.

" That you will come to know soon or later. For your assurance, you can contact any girl from our college. The score you will receive will be excellent", He provided his information with reference attached to it.

"Did you have sex with Olivia too",  I jumped on her again.

" Why you always come on Olivia? Is that you are getting obsessed with her or something... lesbian scenes are getting in the air", He comes close to me and whispered near my neck.

Oh! fuck. His voice is so seductive. His breath gives me goosebumps, his lips gave a firm brush on my neck and make me feel to pull him close to me.

I took a deep breath and shook all those horny thoughts in the trash.

"You can speak these utterances standing there also", I stepped back and pointed the finger to the doorway.

"Getting turn on", He instantly questions me with his patent smirk.

" Is he on purpose?", My subconsciousness doubts his intention.

" Hey! You are not that handsome which will make me turn on", I masked my luscious thoughts.

"Fine as you say but remember one day you will beg to me and I will make sure to make you scream my name in pleasure", He stated affirmatively.

" Huh...Never. Dream on baby boy", I teased him and went for a shower.

He bangs on the bathroom door.

"I am moving. Do get your booty down to breakfast", He informed me in loud outside of the bathroom.

I waited for a moment for my head to stop spinning. There was a huge bathtub in the middle in one corner there was a dressing room at the other end I saw a shower. There is no wall in the bathroom it's has a transparent glass. I switched on the shower and the cold water ran on to my body giving chills to my nervous system. He is getting really overconfident. Every time he jokes about me and with Olivia he seems pretty well-groomed. However, it's good for him to be away from me. I don't want him to be close to me. I don't want history to get repeat it's cruelty and merciless strategy.

" It was all in past", My subconsciousness consoled me.

"Never forget your past", I quoted in the phrase.

I switched off the shower and stepped out of the bathroom. There were undergarments lying on the bed. I took a bra and wore it. It is quite fitted to me. Not bad I am impressed. It is lacy in black color and the panty is similar to color and design. I felt truly comfortable in these. I wore his shirt on my body. The scent is wonderful makes me feel as if I am hugging him. It's transparent so you can see that I wore black color undergarments. 

The king-size bed. I could lay in the middle of the beautiful round thing starfish-style and still have at least 25 centimeters extra in all directions. It was also crazily comfortable. The bedsheets are satin black in color.

I walked down. His house is beautiful and has a warm feeling. It's huge but you can feel welcome, comfortable and family. The couch is huge in black color. Polyvinylchloride stretch ceiling (PVC) mirrored ceiling, which required to follow a specific instruction. The ceiling is based on the vinyl film. The softened film is stretched and fastened on the pre-prepared frame.

" So he loves mirror", I guessed.

"Mirror mirror on the wall who is the father of Hoe", My subconsciousness sang loud.

" Hehehe!", I giggled.

I took my steps towards the kitchen. He was shirtless just wearing a black apron and on the left side of the apron, there is a symbol of brown bread. The kitchen has the obtuse conventional mirror determining the shape and color of the panels, which is mostly successfully harmonized with the overall interior. The ceiling overlapping by attaching drywall to them. Only in this way, glass tiles are fully revealed their best qualities.

I got entered into it. I tapped the kitchen table in loud and took the seat.

"What's cooking? I am very hungry do make. tasteful a------", I instructed him.

" Spicy", He interrupted me and added his own word

"How do you know about my taste preference?", I raised a question and frowned eyebrows.

" Last night you were drunk that you mistook me as Aunt Clara and asked me to cook food. I kindly, heartedly cooked chicken noodles and four sandwiches", He tried to make me recollect the last night's incident.

Later he served me Santa Fe Salad, the lemon herb chicken, the creamy feta and the tangy tomatoes- tomatillo dressing, Chipotle chicken tacos, and Kale mango ginger Smoothie. One thing I must say the platting looks so good that it makes me feel more hungry. He took his seat and was upper bare skin. I took the first bite from the salad and it was indeed good the chicken is getting melt in the mouth as they were cooked according to the instructions mentioned in the recipes. It made a heart delighted. Tyler you are awesome. Your cooking skills can make anyone eat more.

"How's it", He took a fork near his mouth.

" It's just okay", I looked my head down and were enjoying it.

"I hope the bra and panty fitted you well", He smirked and took his chipotle chicken tacos whole in his mouth.

This is sooooo embarrassing. It made me flush.

" Don't you know this is a sign of being pervert", I shouted in anger.

"I don't think so. Does it really count in it?", He played as dumb.

" Whatsoever. How... How do you know my size?"

Did I ask him for hesitation? 

I have to be sure. What if he had seen me nude in the bathroom through his CCTV camera. He can fix it there. He is a bloody pervert. I doubt.

"It might happen you and Olivia have the same size boobs", My subconsciousness signaled me.

" Olivia? Huh. I have much better than her", I bragged and flipped my hair back.

"I can make out while just having a glance on it", He smiled and eyed to my boobs.

I kept both my hands cross on my boobs to hide it from this slimeball guy.

" Hey don't stare. They don't speak?", I screamed at him.

As I was screaming he puts chipotle chicken tacos in my mouth. I chewed it and it was awesome. It made my day.

"Eat this and get ready I will drop you at your home", He took a drink of Kale Mango ginger.

" Okay", I agreed and resumed my eating.

"Where is my outfit?", After a minute it got to click in my head.

" Everything is arranged in the room", He notified me. 

"When did you got all the time to arrange an outfit? Or it's like you already have a surplus of outfits for your friends with benefits", I made a sarcasm remark raising my eyebrow along with shoulder.

"There's no need of you to know", He answered with a smile which made me felt reckless.

" Huh... As if I am dying to know", I thumped on the table and stood up to leave.

"But you are curious to know", My subconsciousness prompted me.

" Ohh you are a bitch", I cursed her.

I climbed the stairs and went into the room. There was a dress kept on the bed. Is he a magician? When did he get time to place this here? He was having breakfast with me downstairs. I am sure there is someone who is helping him behind my back. But. Why should I care? Nothing is going off from me.

I wore a Teal color long sleeve crop top button up and off-shoulder. For the bottom, I wore a high rise acid wash blue shorts. It has good quality and very comfy to be in it the whole day. I got downstairs he was all ready to kick me out of his house. 

Ummmm... Can't I stay here for more minutes I want to touch his hair and make it mess? It was good to be in his house. The design, the texture made me craving to stay here more. I sighed. But every good thing has it's ending.

"Shall we?", He asked me in conformity.

" Yeah", I followed his footsteps and went out of the house.

Abigail Carton is an 18-year-old college student with excellent grades, friends and a sweet boyfriend. She has always organized the things planned and time outed until she met a Tyler Morrison who changed her life plans completely.




Warning!!
The book has many swears and mature contents. 

This is my first book to do love and support me. Every suggestion is welcome. Do not judge the book by its grammar. Please ignore the mistakes.

The boy looked at jax with cold eyes the temperature suddenly dropped around us making my spine shiver. The silence was only for a few seconds but it felt like hours *cough cough* Psycho said. I looked this man up and down before my colour drained from my face and my fist clenched. I could only muster up the courage to say "you don't deserve to be here" as he looked into my eyes all I could seem to do was say "No one here likes you leave". I turned around to leave when I heard him say "your not my boss" I just laughed and looked at him "your not my man so don't pretend to be" I angrily said. I turned around and walked into the forest not know that I had already started to run in vamp speed and my eyes started to become wet and my jaw started to tighten. After about an hour of running I came to a stop when I saw a modern buildings a house it was painted white like snow. It had a garage and a door that was made out of thick wood with windows and a balcony around the back. As I got closer It had a lock it wasn't like any normal look it was in the shape of a heart. The perfect size that fit my necklace and the door unlocked as I walked in I entered the living room. It was huge it had two massive couches and a ND a really huge TV. I went down the hall where there was 2 rooms I entered the first room it was like my brothers but bigger. It had black walls and soft carpet a bed in the middle of the room it had blue sheets, there was a desk on the left wall it had some work onit. A closet   and a bathroom it even had a skate ramp unit for my brother to practice his skateboard tricks. I left the room to go further down the hall to see the second room I opened the door  to see a set of stairs in the middle of the room. I went to see what was on this floor and I saw a Guitar, a keyboard and a desk were I could write my songs and a couch on the wall.  On the opposite wall the was a room that had a microphone that any singer dreamed to have, it was a recording studio I smiled. I went to the stars and walked up them went I got to the top floor I saw a bed it was pushed against the wall the sheets on it were black and had splashes of colours on it. There was a bathroom on the other side of the room and a closet too there was a balcony that looked into the forest. There was photos on the wall and quotes written on them too I smiled and than I saw there was a slide in the room I ran to it. I looked down and couldn't see anything so I jumped on it and than I entered another room it had battle gear and weapons it had a punching bag. My smile started to spread from cheek to cheek, I went up the stairs and was in the kitchen and walked out the door and entered the lounge room. I was stunned this place was amazing I was in love with it I heard the door open and I jumped onto the roof to hide. "you know I was wondering when you found this place" Jax laughed I jumped off the roof and laughed "do you like your room" had asked "I love it" I smiled.

I N D I G O

I woke up to the alarm blaring in my ears making me wince as I sit up to turn it off. What is the point of me even going to school? I was rather intelligent without it. It doesn't matter though. My father prefers me to be gone and out of his hair while he does who knows what throughout the day. I groggily made my way to the bathroom feeling a desperate need to shower since I didn't get the chance to yesterday after unpacking. According to Jim, we needed a "change of scenery" so we moved from Denver to Los Angeles last week. If you're wondering why I call him by his first name, you will soon realize that we do not have your typical father-daughter relationship.

It's different here; palm trees replaced the familiar pine coned ones, an ocean instead of snow covered hills, sunshine when it should be gray. It's a lot to take in. My thoughts were interrupted by the pounding on my bathroom door. "Don't use up all the fucking water, you ungrateful shit!," Jim yelled through the thin walls. I rolled my eyes, knowing I was safely out of sight behind the shower curtains. I generally keep my mouth shut when dealing with him. I am well aware that he gives zero fucks about my existence; I'm strictly here to clean and cook.

"Yes sir," I grumbled in response. Jim happens to be the spawn of Satan; lucky me. I have learned within the past seventeen years not to talk back to him, to make eye contact, or to even breathe in the same oxygen... I rushed out of the bathroom in my towel, frantically searching for something to wear. I glance at the clock on my night stand only to see that I am behind schedule and today is my first day at a public school. 

I let my long and thick chocolate colored locks flow to the small of my back, not feeling the urgency to search for my hair tie this morning. I caught myself staring at my reflection, taking in the girl on the other side. She had dark bags under her dull and lifeless pigment green eyes complimented with a grotesque bruise lining her jaw that required some concealer. Quickly, I patted the concealer on and added some mascara. After throwing on my ripped black skinny jeans and loose beige sweater, I made my way downstairs.

Jim scowled at me as I walked into the kitchen. "C-Can I have a banana o-or granola bar?," I asked nervously. I was hoping he had already left for work so I could eat... "Absolutely not. You didn't clean the dishes last night," he replied with a devilish smirk. I refrained from letting my jaw hit the floor. This man is unbelievable.

L A S T • N I G H T

"What in the hell do you think you are doing?!," Jim snapped at me.

"You had finished your plate. I thought I could have what was left," I replied.

A sharp stinging sensation erupted on the left side of my face, as he back handed me; my body flinging to the ground like a rag doll. I could hear him laughing maniacally as the hot tears began to pour down my face. 

"I haven't eaten in four days, please?!," I begged. 

This only infuriated him more.

He stalked over to me, his face as red as fire. I felt the steel toe of his boot come intact with my rib cage making me double over, screaming in agony. A jolt of pain came from my scalp as he lifted me off the ground by my hair throwing my whole body into the wall. I felt my head hit the vinyl wood; black spots appearing in my vision. I wanted to beg him to leave me be, or to just kill me already. However, I must have blacked out because the next thing I knew, I woke up on the floor and it was clearly passed midnight so I went upstairs to get some rest.

B A C K • T O • P R E S E N T

I bit my tongue, tasting the copper immediately. He always knew how to make my blood boil. "Yes sir," I replied through gritted teeth while making my way to the front door. I slipped on my 'once were white but are now gray' vans, grabbed my deck and skated the way to school. It was about ten minutes before Willow High came into view. I felt my palms begin to sweat as I rolled through the parking lot. My social anxiety was at an all time high as I saw people turning around to stare at me, making my legs begin to shake. I swiftly got off my board and held it to my side protectively, scurrying my way into the school towards the office.

"Why hello?! You must be Indigo!," a cheerful woman sang. I gave her a soft smile and nodded. She handed me my schedule and pointed me in the right direction towards my locker. I shoved my board and a few of the text books in just before hearing the first bell ring loudly above my head indicating that I was now late. Wonderful. Because being the new kid wasn't already gaining its own attention as is; note the sarcasm. I shuffled through the hallway looking for the right room when I ran into a wall-- nope, my mistake. It's a human.

"Watch where the hell you're going, jack ass," he spat.

The pain from my ribs erupted through my whole body, making me want to crawl into the nearest hole and die. "Oh, shit. I'm sorry! I thought you were some random kid..." he said nervously. An apology? Hm, seems foreign. I wanted to say that it was okay and that I was fine but the words wouldn't form and my voice wouldn't work. He looked at me quizzically.

"Are you okay? I didn't think you fell that hard," I could see the guilt clear on his face. Poor thing. I took his hand that he had reached out to me and let him pull me up off the ground. "Thank you. I'm fine," I whispered while looking down at my shoes, averting his gaze. 

No eye contact, Indie. You know better.

"Name's Tanner."

For some reason, I felt the need to look at him. I mean, he wouldn't introduce himself if he didn't want me to know who he was... right? I looked up through my lashes and saw a rather handsome young man. He had tousled, short, butterscotch colored hair in an ivy league fashion with doe brown eyes, a few freckles sprinkled across his nose. He was definitely a good foot taller than my petite 5'1". As a short person, that whole extra inch is sacred.

"Uh-- Indigo," I babbled out. Not like you would remember it, anyway.

I looked up again to see his smile fade into a frown. 

Shit, did I say that out loud?

"Indigo is actually my sisters favorite color, so I can remember that," He shot me a quick smile. I felt my cheeks heat up. Okay, so I did say that out loud. Metaphorical face palm, in session.

Tanner was actually surprisingly easy to talk to. We had first period, Psych AP, together and were even paired for a project. I went through a few more classes before it hit lunch. I'm not one for cafeteria's-- you know, with the social anxiety and what not. So, I stopped at my locker to grab my deck and made my way to the parking lot. I put my head phones in and let myself escape for a while. I noticed some of the different cliches outside; the jocks, the cheerleaders, the band geeks, the nerds, the goths, and at the far end of the school were the bad boys.

Four guys stood in the corner, one of them being Tanner. All of the boys seemed to be just around the same height. The guy next to him though... that was who I couldn't stop staring at. He had jet black hair with a comb over fade, tattooed from the neck down. He was wearing a white v-neck that hugged his chest and denim jeans that fit him perfectly. I quickly shook my head of the thoughts, hoping I hadn't drooled. 

I continued to skate around the school, feeling the anxiety desiccate; at least until I heard my name being shouted across the lot. I whipped my head around to see Tanner smirking at me, motioning for me to join him. I hesitantly rolled to where they stood, feeling the lump in my throat begin to form as they all looked me up and down; probably trying to figure out what a piece of shit like me is doing here. 

"Indigo, meet the gang," Tanner cooed.


P L E A S E • V O T E

Embark on this journey with Indigo Carter, a damaged girl who finds love while battling an oppressive past that comes with a lot of self-hate. Will she learn to accept herself and allow others in? Or will she welcome what she believes to be her fate and let the darkness consume her?



⚠ W A R N I N G ⚠
This book contains graphic violence, bad language, sexual and physical abuse.

vinyl quotes for bathroom

Quotes for all

Quotes for success

SS Glasgow Castle

Golden Time

Sally face and Larry face

The Lone City Boy

Scars of My Past

H.O.P.E

afraid to be me

Trusting Milo

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