Do relationships ruin friendship?
Is a lover worth more than a friend since birth?

Do I not matter..?


(Basically a book about relationships me or 'Cyrus' have had. The 'Do relationships ruin friendships' comes later.)
*This is a BL. I am just warning you.
This is FICTION. Some of these happened with the facts changed up. I am a girl so I just changed everything. Homosexuality is accepted in the world I made. Homo phobia is rare in that world*
Please don't hate.

Ickapoo is lonely. But to transcend his solitude, angst and alienation, he must learn to love- both temporal beings and the eternal Divine.
Eric Khoo’s Be with me is a meditation on the vulnerability of being in love. All the characters experience love as an absence in some form, an old shopkeeper for mourns his terminally ill wife, two lesbians who have a short lived romance, an obese security guard who longs for a high flying executive but who knows deep down she lies beyond his reach, and Theresa Chan, who is sealed off from the world by her condition of being both blind and deaf but somehow still manages to give love by teaching at a school for the disabled and performing a lot of charity work. It is implied that in our modern urban setting, alienation is more dominant than fulfilling relationships and connections and at the heart of the urban condition is loneliness and loss. But this seems only half the story as the film is illuminated by the presence of Theresa Chan who is by her condition of being blind and deaf unable to experience love but somehow manages in place to be a giver of love to those less fortunate than her.
	The lesbian romance captures the idea of puppy love and the idea that experimentation with homosexuality is a phase which does not last into adulthood. The two teenagers involved do all the romantic things couples are meant to experience- chatting online, going out on dates, making out, shopping, clubbing and generally enjoying the warmth of each other’s company till Samantha falls in love with a male and starts brushing Jackie off. This of course breaks Jackie’s heart as she was truly and deeply in love with Sam. 
However the film does not end the segment on a note of despair as though Sam breaks Jackie’s heart and Jackie attempts suicide, she is shown surviving the suicide though she kills the love lorn security guard in her suicide attempt, perhaps signaling that her time on earth is not up and there are perhaps greater things in store for her beside doomed lesbian relationships, perhaps she will eventually find love with someone who treasures her more, it might even be a man rather than another teenage girl. 
The fact that she kills the security guard however might be an event of divine punishment for his hubris in seeking and longing after things that are out of his reach such as the high flying executive who would probably be stopped cold in fear at the fact that he is stalking her. It is probably a punishment for stalking and an indication that this is an unhealthy thing to do which will probably end up in some kind of crime on the security guard’s part if he continues his habit of stalking her.
Another novel by Winterson examines the lesbian choice. Winterson’s novel Oranges are not the only fruit celebrates the lesbian choice, but does not seem to be mindful of the consequences this choice has for women. Indeed to Winterson it is the authentic choice. But to become a lesbian is to be alienated many times over, from the church, from society, from one’s family, there is a high price to pay for non-conformity, and it seems that Winterson romanticized the liberating thrill of escaping societal norms without considering the high price to be paid for living outside those societal norms. Indeed in her introduction to the book Jeanette Winterson describes herself as living in poverty and extreme decrepitude. 
	She manages to escape this poverty by writing a bestseller that is semi-autobiographical, but how many lesbians can make the same claim to fame and success? The ugly truth is that for most lesbians, they live in shame and secrecy at the fringes of society without the glamour and fame Jeanette Winterson enjoys. Hence while Jeanette Winterson may have successfully escaped a life of slavery to a man, she has chosen a path that is dangerous and unfulfilling for most others who choose it because of the high amount of rejection one faces from society as a consequence of that choice.
	Indeed, Winterson writes that oranges are not the only fruit, meaning that men are not the only choice, but to me it seems that she has exchanged one form of servility for another. Servility to a man might be demeaning, but servility to a woman risks the loss of one’s reputation and respectability as well as rejection by the whole church and all of society.Indeed Winterson does not seem to realize she has just chosen a different master. Her new master is woman rather than man. 
Escaping servility to a man does not necessarily mean escaping servility when one becomes involved with a woman. Indeed, the fear, loathing and rejection with which most of her female lovers treat her with after being confronted by the church shows that she has chosen servility to females at the price of her name and mental health, which is why she is reduced to working in an asylum. So indeed, Jeannette Winterson’s novel does come across as highly political and polemical, but it is also blind to the fact that the alternative she chooses might not be as glamorous as it seems.
Hence Winterson’s novel may be viewed as a diatribe against the hypocrisy of the Christian faith which endorses heterosexual love while profaning homosexual love when heterosexual marriage in Jeannette Winterson’s novel is depicted as something of a sham. Her adoptive parents barely love each other, and the women in the novel are all complaining of the trap that marriage has lulled them into, leading them to marry drunkards and gamblers. At the same time one wonders if Jeannette Winterson, being led by her lesbian politics, has depicted heterosexual marriages fairly. To be sure, not all heterosexual marriages are as dysfunctional as the ones she describes. There are genuinely loving heterosexual families, and men who do not seem to be merely beasts or simply desire sex objects and slaves in their households, yet all this seems glossed over by Winterson in her desire to glorify the lesbian choice.
Jeanette Winterson thus seems to be writing with the political purpose of creating a lesbian utopia, a utopia in which all the men as beasts are expelled from the paradise of women living together with authentic passions. But indeed again, one would highly question if only lesbian passion is authentic passion. To be sure, the high amount of rejection each clandestine lesbian relation ends with ends up with a highly dystopian form of love instead. Winterson’s utopia of lesbian love might be ideal in her eyes, but cannot come into fruition as long as most of society is heterosexual and heteronormative. 
Indeed, Winterson has accurately observed that it is religions like Christianity which uphold the heterosexual norm and oppress the lesbian alternative. But Winterson does not seem to dwell on the consequences for choosing the lesbian alternative, shame, secrecy, rejection, God’s wrath, madness and so on. Living on the fringes of society might be extremely romantic to Winterson, but not all women are willing to pay that price.
Having said that, Winterson has indeed written a compelling critique of the heterosexual norm in societies and the religious orthodoxy that reinforces it. The hollowness of orthodox marriages in the novel in contrast to the fiery passions she finds in the arms of women seems to reinforce the idea that homosexual love is more authentic than heterosexual love. It is also true that because of Biblical scripture, women in heterosexual marriages experience a high degree of subordination to men.
 Women are commanded to bear children and be domestic keepers while men can have all the alcohol and affairs they want while seeming to get away with it, and thus it would not be surprising that Winterson finds women receiving the losing end of the bargain when it comes to marriage. Indeed the very institution of marriage is something of a joke in the Winterson household.
Hence it is this servility to men Jackie and Sam wish to escape in their fling, but perhaps the film Be with Me comments that due to the social stigma that goes with being lesbian, these relationships are unable to last. Jackie and Sam are happy being with each other only when they are alone in each other’s company, but the highlight is that they are alone when they are in each other’s company, shut off from the world and in the meantime stigmatized for being homosexual.Indeed it is not so much a lack of romance that kills the relationship as the stigma which accompanies it and thus making it unsustainable for the long term because society has so much against homosexual relationships.
 While strides in the gay rights movements have legitimized homosexual marriages in some parts of the world, the religious backlash against homosexuality remains strong and will always be at odds because it is scripturally forbidden by most monotheistic religions. The film is not a disapproval of such relationships but a comment that due to the high amount of stigma such relationships suffer, these relationships lead to heartbreak and suicide. The film as such is not a moral condemnation of such relationships but a comment on the high amount of existential difficulties such relationships face.
Perhaps the greatest statement that the film seeks to put forth is that self-serving relationships will always lead to despair. Hence, the lesbians fall out of love when one party loses interest due to preference for a more socially conforming relationship, and the death that stalking a person out of your social reach leads to. However in place of these self-serving relationships is the remarkable story of Theresa Chan who does not so much seek to take love from someone as give love unconditionally even when she is impaired by her circumstances from doing so.
Born blind and death, Theresa Chan’s story is similar to Hellen Keller’s, about the indomitability of the human spirit and the perseverance to overcome all odds despite being physically disabled. The amount of courage and sacrifice that goes into Theresa Chan’s daily living makes the lesbian plot look shallow and insipid in comparison.
 While these two girls selfishly seek romantic fulfilment from each other which is short lived and conditional on maintaining the other party’s interest, Theresa’s bold love for humanity is unconditional and seeks to give where she experiences hardly any from society as a handicapped person. Courageously, Theresa conducts lessons for disabled students and even despite her disabilities does charity work around the world for those less fortunate than herself.
This is the paradox of Christian charity, it gives and takes the place of sin and wrongdoing, in response to wrongdoing, one is told to turn one’s cheek, in response to one’s enemies, one is told to forgive, in response to debts accumulated and owed, one is called to cancel one’s debt and forgive, it is a giving in place of receiving, taking the place of he who has sinned and replacing indebtedness with forgiveness and cancellation of debt. 
While this may seem impossible to worldly eyes, Derrida precisely views Christianity as an impossible religion. As Christianity is essentially an otherworldly and spiritualized religion, it is impossible to conceive of a material Christianity or a Christianity separate from the transcendental beyond that it is essentially premised upon. Derrida’s intervention is not that Christianity is an impossibility but an impossible possible enabled through differance and iterability.
 	Theresa Chan’s life is an embodiment of Christian sacrifice.Perhaps the film’s greatest comment is that true love lies in giving rather than receiving, it is Theresa’s unconditional love of humanity despite her experience of rejection from the world for being handicapped, which is the greatest love of all.
It is the impossibility of Christ’s incarnation and forgiveness of sins that makes the law possible as Christ came to fulfil the law rather than to defeat it. Derrida’s injunction to forgive the unforgiveable and move into a Derridean third space of thinking the impossible forgiveness of sins and holding one accountable to the death penalty for transgressions committed is an extension of his meditations on hospitality and forgiveness, extending Christian charity, forgiveness and hospitality as a move that exceeds the law and exceeds the thinking of the possible but it is precisely this impossibility of grace, mercy,Christian charity and forgiveness which makes the law possible just as the exception is necessary to thinking the rule.
Hence perhaps Theresa’s greatest gift is forgiving those around her and extending hospitality to those around her where she has experienced rejection and cruelty. As a citizen of God rather than of the world, Theresa extends charity to those around her regardless of her own circumstances and gives where she hardly receives. This is much akin to Christ’s act of giving sacrificially of his own life for atoning our sins without receiving anything in return but mockery and scorn instead. Hence perhaps the greatest statement of the film is that love is a gift which should not expect anything in return and be unconditional.
Thus Ickapoo could relate to Others by loving them, giving, forgiving even without receiving any love in return. Give without hope of profit, love without reciprocity or conditionality.

It was the year 2046. In the distant and faraway planet or Yr lived a lonely alien named Ickapoo. It had no friends as all its species had been vanquished from a meteor storm. In its solitude and misery it pined for a companion.
Yr was a bare and inhospitable planet. With winds blowing at 150 km an hour, it was virtually impossible to see past the blizzard and storm. Ickapoo yearned for friends and company. Many a time he fiddled with his transistor radio, sending out messages and hoping for a response. He sent fire launchers and rockets into space, hoping that some space traveler would find out about his existence. Ickapoo was an alienated alien. In the same way humans wondered whether we were the only species to inhabit the universe, Ickapoo felt estranged and isolated from the rest of the cosmos.  Join Ickapoo on his escapades across galaxies and worlds in search of company.
Ickapoo the lonely Alien, 2046 is created by Chung Chin-Yi , an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed Author

; ♡ friends 
 ———————————————————

ㅤㅤㅤlist of contents ‧₊˚ 
ㅤㅤㅤ⌦ relationships between people
 ㅤㅤㅤ⌦ sexualities 

———————————————————

-' this information resembles students personal information in my desired reality ',°-

 ———————————————————

- sexualities ꒱ 
 ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

↝ hermione granger is bisexual

↝ harry potter is bisexual

↝ dominic black is asexual

↝ liam black is bisexual 

↝ seamus finnigan is homosexual

↝ dean thomas is pansexual

↝ pansy parkinson is pansexual

↝ tristan valdez is bisexual

↝ mellie valdez is bisexual

↝ luna lovegood is lesbian, used to be bi curious

↝ draco malfoy is heterosexual, a little bi curious

- relationship's ꒱ 
 ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

↝ seamus finnigan and dean thomas like eachother 

↝ luna lovegood and neville longbottom will have some chemistry in 4th year

↝ draco will slowly fall inlove with me throughout 2nd and 3rd year 

↝ fred will start to fall inlove with me when i'm in 3rd year 

↝ i get along well with the golden trio of hogwarts (hermione granger, ronald weasley, harry potter)

↝ hermione granger and i get along very well. we will become friends during our first year at hogwarts. we'll meet on the train

↝ cedric diggory and i get along very well. we will eventually become friends sometime before my second year at hogwarts

↝  harry potter and i get along very well. we are already friends because of our families long history together, it's just been a little while since i've seen him

↝ ron weasley and i get along very well. we will become friends during our first year at hogwarts. we'll meet at platform 9 & 3/4. we will become v close friends in 1st year

↝ luna lovegood and i get along very well. we will become friends during our attendance at hogwarts - sometime before the end of 5th year

↝ i get along really well with fred and george weasley, due to our similar humour and interests. we will become friends during my first year at hogwarts. we'll meet at platform 9 & 3/4.

↝ me and george specifically are very close, we have always been bestfriends (and only bestfriends) since i met him in dyrivina

↝ me and fred are also very close, but not really in a bestfriend kinda way? 

↝ george and luna will have a little teeny tiny bit of chemistry in our 5th year - when they breakup she will come out as lesbian

- extra ꒱ 
 ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

obv there will be other relationships, sexualities and whatnot but i'm just making sure these will happen for sure

Esha's Point of View:

I've been feeling very well since this morning. I couldn't express how happy I was at that time. In the last four years, I had gone through so many hard times and barely felt that type of feeling. There was also a very special reason behind that to feel that way. Who would have ever thought that the end of the last four years of my unrequited love would be so beautiful?

But it would be wrong to interpret it as the end now. We still have a long way to go together. This is the main ordeal after getting involved in a relationship. Understanding each other, stay by the side of each other. Relationships are not always sweet. Huff, arrogance, anger, conflicts, quarrels, tears, waves of laughter are the common phases of every normal and healthy relationship. The ones who go through all these things together and those who can still hold onto each other till the end, those relationships are successful.

My brain and mind will never forget that wonderful, dreamy memory of yesterday. That moment has been spinning in my head since this morning, just as the tape recorder repeats itself over and over again. The moment still seems like a dream to me. As if, when you open your eyes and look carefully, the remnants of your dreams will go away. It will leave you confused like hell and thousands of questions will be starting to pop out in your head. It will leave you wondering as hell. Just like questioning yourself, 'Was the moment really a dream?'

Every time I think of those feelings, those moments, those touches of Neha, my heart starts to beat abnormally. I kept immersing myself in my wild imaginations again and again and kept going on giggling and blushing. Others might think I'm crazy! Others can think about what they want. They are even allowed to think about our relationship as weird or feel whatever pleases them. I don't care. I don't give a fu*k anymore. My happiness is the only mine. No one can feel that. No one can ever feel those true happy feelings inside me. So I let them get jealous of me and hate me as much as they want. When people feel insecure about their personal insecurities it leads them to feel jealous and hate others. So you should rather fight to achieve this happiness, than being jealous of others.

I will never be able to feel 'real happiness' and 'freedom' in life if I behave like cowards in fear of criticism, oppression, harsh words, etc. You only live once. You can't come back to this life even if you want so hard after your death. So when I am alive, I want to spend my life with honesty with myself. Then maybe one day I will be able to meet with the value of staying honest.

I couldn't find Neha at our morning class today. I searched for her everywhere but couldn't find a single trace of her. So, I kept on calling her on the phone, and her phone was kept ringing on but she didn't pick up. I texted her too on WhatsApp, but she didn't read the messages. As the last attempt, I voiced mailed her in hope that she might listen and reply back. I was extremely worried and anxious about her. What did the heck happen with her? My heart was beating unsteadily as the tension and anxiety kept getting on my nerves. I couldn't worry and stress less anymore. Fear and anxiety were devouring me.

At noon, I hardly dragged myself in the canteen to eat lunch with Mahdin, Tonmoy, and Sadia. I was too depressed to eat lunch and couldn't concentrate on anything as I was still paranoid about the love of my life. At that moment, Mahdin suddenly called me by my name and said, "Hey, Esha. When did the hell you just turned lesbian? I never thought in my whole life that you and Neha would ever be a thing!"

I saw Sadia's jaw dropped and she almost choked on her food as she started coughing severely. After some moment, when she became relaxed, she almost screamed in wonder, "What? What the fu*k are you talking about? I've always known her as a normal girl like us. How the fu*k did she just turned lesbian? Are you crazy?" Tonmoy also nodded his head in agreement followed by Sadia.

Mahdin was going to say something but I cut him off and snapped at all of 'em, "Can you guys please stop for a moment so that I can speak and explain? Most importantly, even if I am a LESBIAN is that a really funny thing to mock around, Mahdin? Also, Sadia and Tonmoy, yes I'm speaking to y'all. According to you guys, being a lesbian is abnormal, and being straight and heterosexual is normal and natural, is that so?"

Both Sadia and Tonmoy became agitated and confused at the same time and hesitantly said in unison, "Of course. Because it has been the norm."

This time, I looked in all of their eyes and said in a steady serene tone, "Then listen to this carefully. Yes, I am a lesbian woman. I have been loving my best friend for the last four years. That love was an unrequited love. But yesterday, I got to know for the first time that, Neha also loves me back. Our love is mutual. We both kissed for the first time in the last four years. That kiss was the end of our unrequited love. But that place was beside the pool in the backyard of Rokhsana ma'am's house. Mahdin saw us when we were kissing."

I stopped at that moment after finishing my speech. I took the bottle from the table and drank a sip of water. All of them remained quiet while I was drinking water, they kept silent until I started another round of speech. I then again started speaking, "I am lesbian before I even met with Neha. Yes, I'm attracted to girls and I have kept this a secret from all of you. Because I knew from the beginning that all of you are homophobic. None of you knew about this part of me until today yet the matter still existed inside me but all of you thought how normal and natural I was. The only difference is you didn't know that at that time, and now you just have known and everything changed? The time when you guys didn't know about this part of me, used to think how brilliant and creative I was, how a talented student I was! These potentials still exist in me but they don't specialize me anymore. The only reason behind that is I'm a lesbian that's why I'm abnormal and unnatural." 

After saying these words, I got up and started walking away. Tears welled up in my eyes and were almost coming down. I still tried hard to hold my tears back when I was talking with them. For that reason, my eyes turned hellish red like scarlet and I couldn't stand its burning sensation anymore. Anyone who looked me in the eye would be terrified. Suddenly Mahdin came from behind and grabbed my arm and said, "Esha, wait. Please listen to me, friend."

I turned around and saw Mahdin and Tonmoy standing up next to me. Meanwhile, Sadia was still sitting at the table with a sullen face. Mahdin and Tonmoy said together, "Dude, no matter who you are, even if you are an alien, it doesn't matter to us. We love you so much dude. We want you to be happy in life. We have full support for you and Neha."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened to Mahdin and Tonmoy. I could barely contain my unbelievable happiness anymore, I hugged Mahdin and Tonmoy. Then I asked, "So what is Sadia's opinion?"

Tonmoy and Mahdin hesitated and said, "Umm..."

Sadia didn't let them finish, she got up from the table and stood in front of me and said, "No matter what you say, what you and Neha are doing is unnatural. Think a little with scientific logic." Saying this, Neha looked at Tonmoy with hard eyes.

Tonmoy swallowed a gulp in fear and said, "Um, ah...but I think you should s-support them too."

I said with a light smile, "80% of the creatures in nature display homosexuality. And you're coming to talk about what is anti-nature and nature-friendly. Another thing is that logic does not work in the place of feelings, if it works, then the famous poets and writers would tell us to listen to the brain and not the heart when someone falls in love."

Mahdin and Tonmoy both laughed haha ​​when they heard me. Sadia seemed a little irritated as she pretended to be upset. I silenced the two of them and said, "Now I can never change the way you think, even if I want to, unless you yourself ever want to. I gave my opinion. But I respect your opinion and will never dispute it because my real purpose is to maintain peace. Now please help me all to find Neha. I haven't seen her at university since morning. I'm already very stressed out and anxious. What could happen with her! She isn't even answering her phone. Sadia, you should also worry a little about your friend, even though you couldn't accept our relationship."

At that time, Mahdin suddenly shouted, "Hey, Look!! There's Neha. She looks very devastated."

I ran without waiting for a moment and hugged her.

Five law students were grouped under a professional lawyer to complete one of the very important co-curricular activities during the final year of law school to gain good marks in their final exam. Although the students of that group had known each other from the beginning of their university life and were really good friends, still, a lot of mysteries were yet to be known, even conflicts were yet to be happened. Moreover, two of them had secretly crush on each other. Both of them were girls. SAME SEX. Fears and obstacles made their path more difficult as it was 'unusual' love apart from society. Things became more morose when a special character entered their life and made things more messed up and it ended up disastrously. Nobody was able to beat her as she was special than any other person with a special ability. When the antagonist throws their ultimate nasty scheme to gain what they wanted, two of the main characters had to lose their everything and ended up being scapegoats.
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This fiction contains:

# Love triangle.
# One-sided love.
# Lesbian romance.
# GirlxGirl smut and kiss.
# Murder.
# A journey to reclaim the laws in the constitution and establish LGBTQ rights for a country.




Mature Content.



Violence, Homophobia, Murder, Sexual Triggers.


|*No translations are allowed without my permission.*|


[All rights reserved.©]

⚠️ 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 ⚠️

•  Thoughts of self harm / suicide

•  Homosexual relationships / lesbian romance

•  Graphic violence / gore

•  Smoking / drinking

•  Romantic / sexual scenes

· · ───────── ·𖥸· ───────── · ·

→  I can't put an age limit on maturity, but if you feel uncomfortable with any of these topics, please visit a different profile !    I understand if this book is not the right one for you c:

I curled into her arms, shifting my body to be against hers. My nose grazed the soft, warm skin of her throat, and I hummed at the sound of her blood pulsing against my lips. I planted a gentle kiss under her jaw, and she inhaled sharply at my touch. I grinned.

"Not so quiet now, hmm?"

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Ickapoo the lonely Alien, 2046

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|COMPLETED| Infatuation` [GirlxGirl]

Again │ Book II

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