LordAion

This comment is very disconnected from reality. Furthermore, the biggest culprits are the school and the teachers who do not take a more serious attitude, even though they are aware of the situation.

I am completely convinced that Seido will lose this game, but unfortunately the author made Sawmura too strong and any point he takes seems forced, even though it is something extremely normal to happen.

It wasn't three chapters ago that he said he wasn't going to interfere in the sorting hat's choice. It's a Chinese fanfic, rare are those that have good quality and coherence.

and I was waiting for an accident that would justify the drop in Sawmura's morale and the consequent defeat of seido, but in reality they will be eliminated because of Sawamura's cold...

First tip: rewatch the series if you have time, it will give you your own ideas. second tip: while the MC is doing something repetitive and with an obvious result like competing in smaller tournaments to train and gain experience, develop the history and personality of other characters, considering it is an AU. third tip (personal opinion for possible plot): The MC competing in different tournaments to win prizes and increase his wealth; the MC inviting and gaining loyalty from bastards and some second sons to set up a mercenary company; the MC and his companions following Daemon and the Marine Serpent in the war on step stones; MC having her identity forcibly revealed while accidentally claiming a dragon in the black water bay while returning from step stones; MC fleeing with his companions to Essos and establishing a territory for his mercenary company; MC trying to convince Viserys to allow him to marry Rhanyra.

First tip: rewatch the series if you have time, it will give you your own ideas. second tip: while the MC is doing something repetitive and with an obvious result like competing in smaller tournaments to train and gain experience, develop the history and personality of other characters, considering it is an AU. third tip (personal opinion for possible plot): The MC competing in different tournaments to win prizes and increase his wealth; the MC inviting and gaining loyalty from bastards and some second sons to set up a mercenary company; the MC and his companions following Daemon and the Marine Serpent in the war on step stones; MC having her identity forcibly revealed while accidentally claiming a dragon in the blackwater bay while returning from step stones; MC fleeing with his companions to Essos and establishing a territory for his mercenary company; MC trying to convince Viserys to allow him to marry Rhanyra.

Author, I finally know how to express what was the flaw in the plot that was bothering me a lot, the flaw is that you center the "plot of the world" around what you had planned and in the time you had planned for the MC, without considering the dimensionality of the other characters, e.g.: Viserys naming Rhanyra heiress and then getting married and having another child, even if this is an AU, there is no point in these actions in sequence, mainly because you didn't show the reason for this to happen, you didn't write any scenes in which the MC was not present in some way. As for the repetitive plot, I will give my suggestions in the reply to this comment.

I agree that with his age and experience it's already unrealistic that he even got to compete in the semi-finals with Cristan Cole, but the point is, have you never seen or read information about someone who did an absurd or unbelievable feat in real life? It's that kind of story that makes your hair stand on end, that gives you butterflies in your stomach, that makes your heart race faster, that is the best kind of story, the story of a legend, a myth. Of course, people are used to this happening to a reincarnated person, with a system or desires, in addition to the best possible birth, as if a reincarnated person needed all of this.

From the comments I think you made him lose, it makes sense, but I also think it was your fault, if I'm not mistaken you made Rhanyra even older in the series, since in the series she must have been around 12 years old when her mother died, moreover, the time between one tournament and another should be at least two years, even if you rush things (in one year Viserys got married again and his son was born? it doesn't match the book or the series ). That's why I think that in the last few chapters the coherence in the plot has been falling a lot, here's this criticism that I hope you consider constructive. Ps: this is just my point of view of the story now. I do think that the MC should win practically everything in terms of duels and battles, that's how an indisputable legend is created, although the final result of the story matters, it wouldn't have as much appeal as the story of a person who breaks convention several times endless. Are you the author writing the story of a guy who revolutionized his own destiny or a legend told to all future generations with everyone's admiration? Take the example of the fanfic "reborn as a Frey", the author showed the difficulties and tricks of the MC, but transformed the MC into a living legend and even so it was interesting to read, at least his first life.

in my opinion this was a mistake on the part of the author, he should have mentioned that the MC participated in some smaller tournaments in the riverlands, gaining experience, in addition to the time of Aegon's marriage and birth being an even bigger mistake, if I'm not mistaken, It took more than a couple of years before Viserys married again, at the very least.