/ Anime & Comics / Invincible's: SUPERMAN
概要
what if Kal-el was born in the invincible universe? will follow the comics and will deviate at certain points. there maybe a harem depending on feed back, however for now main ship is Kal and Anissa.
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It is a good read, there are spoilers from the comic so be warned those who have not read it yet, in the first and second chapter mind you.[img=exp]
the dialogue is super fast it doesn't describe much just proceeds to conversation and something will happen and there are no spaces almost with the pacing, then superman is not a Kryptonian in the fic he's more of a sun sucking alien who has battery issues, after fighting he needs to recharge like phones...
it is a good story with huge potential but ppl will back me on this it is too fast paced ridled with spelling errors and plot holes. if those things weren't there it would be a perfect 5
This is a really good premise. The way you wrote it is almost like a script but even less. It's just a bunch of dialogue. Because it is just a bunch of dialogue it moves at lightning speed. Sadly there are also some mistakes. And because it's just a bunch of dialogue the mistakes really hurt the story. Grammar mistakes in a novel really don't affect it unless you're unintelligible. Here. However because it's basically just dialogue it really hurts the story when u make even a tiny mistake.
I look forward to hearing feed back on the story guys I've got a long one for ya, also stay on the look out for future stories including series from bleach, one piece, naruto, x-men evolution, the batman comics and more.
The grammer is unreadable and the dialogue feels unnatural. SkipSkipSkipSkipSkipSkipSkipSkupSkupllllllll lijkt of you hij of hoog got got got go go ok go go go oh hi