章 60: Chapter 59: There Are Problems Even Inside Me
I always wondered what was inside the human mind.
I am not a fan of literature and I only read articles and research that can help me at some point in my life such as medical books or historical analysis of politics, it is always useful to study the tricks of officials who got rich at the expense of others.
Despite not enjoying classical and modern novels, I have still read the works of important authors as they learned new teachings and perspectives.
Among the authors I have read, there is one in particular that I like. He is not a really skilled writer since his style is confusing and messy but the feelings of desolation and confusion that his works convey are something that I enjoy, that says a lot about my personality.
Anyway, Howard Phillips Lovecraft is one of my favorite authors, among the universe that he formed there is a concept that I found really interesting.
The Dream Kingdom, an abstract construction of reality where the laws of reality work in an incomprehensible way.
Although I am not sure if the Dream Realm exists in any region of the multiverse, what I am seeing seems quite close, if this is really my mind then something is really wrong with my head.
The sky was covered in an endless ocean of crimson blood, instead of stars, there were shapeless spots of ink black.
The ground was made of what looked like blue ice with light blue flames dancing in a spiral.
The same landscape was repeated to the endless horizon, the only thing in the place was a gigantic golden heart with a silver pearl attached in the center, the heart was wrapped in vines with a grotesque green color that was also covered with purple thorns.
Looking at the vines I felt a sense of disgust, and rage for no reason that made me feel sick.
"Hey! Listen! Welcome to your core of existence!" - Navi showed up out of nowhere and began to fly around me.
"My core of existence? Most importantly, how are you here? "- I looked at the annoyed fly with doubt.
I understand that I was knocked unconscious after saving Sayo's life so it would not be strange to be in a coma and have a hallucination, but there is also the possibility that I entered another realm or a stupid mysticism that I do not understand.
"Hey! Listen! I am your traveling companion and I will follow you on any adventure, be it in another world, to the depths of hell, the desolation of limbo, the darkness of death, or the depravity of your own mind! You can't even escape from me by taking refuge in your core of existence muahahahahaha! "- Navi started laughing like an idiot so I had to hit him.
"Whatever, why are we here?" - I asked the cheerful idiot.
"Your mind entered a calm state, for the first time in your life you are sleeping soundly so you managed to access this space thanks to your mental meditation training! If it weren't for your insomnia then you would have walked into this place a long time ago! "- Navi was flying in circles.
"And what is that thing?" -I ignored my sleep disorder and pointed to a black slime that moved as if it had a mind of its own.
"He's my new friend!" - Navi flew over the black slime.
"Hello" -The black slime stirred as if she were greeting.
"Are you Madness?" - I looked at the slime.
It's weird, but at least her voice no longer sounds like a decayed radio static voice.
"Yes" - Madness gave a short answer as always.
"Your voice is less annoying here" - My words made the black slime shake.
"Why does it look like you have ears?" -The slime was literally a pile of black, tar-like liquid, it looked like an alien organism with no specific shape, but on top of what looked like her head was a pair of triangular spikes resembling husky dog ears.
"Woof" - Madness just barked?
"Hey! Listen! He wants to be a dog since you like dogs and he thinks that if he becomes one then you will stop hating him!" - Navi's explanation makes me look like the bad guy.
"Even if he turns into a dog I'll still hate him." I shook my head. - "I hate you too, Navi"
"You're just being a tsundere but that's okay, I understand that you are ashamed to admit our friendship since you have no friends!" -Navi sounded cheerful while Madness nodded as if he agreed.
This pair of idiots give me a headache.
"Whatever, better explain to me that this core of existence" - I massaged my head, I didn't know I could have a migraine inside my mind.
"It is what defines your existence! Every living being is made up of three elements! The physical body, soul, and mind, these three elements are united through a core of existence that could also be defined as the home of the soul, the engine that powers the mind, and what unites everything to the body! This is basic knowledge! " - Navi explained with a narcissistic tone.
"In what fucking world is this basic knowledge?" - I hit Navi again.
"I do not know! I just know it's basic knowledge! " - Navi always prides himself on knowing strange information, but he does not know the origin of his own knowledge, I hate this idiot.
"Well, I understand that this place is my core of existence. Does the ground represent the body and the sky is the mind?" - I tried to make sense of this place.
"Exactly! The ground has been influenced by Rasen as it is your most important power! The sky represents your state of mind, the blood represents violence and obvious personal problems while the black spots are the deterioration of your sanity! Congratulations, you are officially mentally ill! " - Navi was flying around me happily.
"... It's decided, I'll find a psychiatrist" - I wonder if antipsychotic drugs will work in my body.
"Muahahahaha it's useless! Your sick obsession is feeding off the Rasen! Look, you even came to the brink of suicide to save an unknown woman just because you couldn't accept losing your new toy! You are like a child who steals candy behind his mother's back because he can't take no for an answer! " - Navi stirred in a direction where a pillar of blue flames grew and struck the sea of blood in the sky.
The flames caused the blood to bubble and another black stain appeared in the sky, then the pillar of flames dwindled back to just a small dancing flame.
I put my hand to my face, this is a problem.
Whatever there is something more important than my sanity.
"You said my soul was here, don't tell me what that heart is ..." - I had a bad feeling.
"That is your soul however it is not in good condition!" - Navi said happily.
"Explain what happens" - I do not understand the subject of souls so I can only listen to this idiot.
"The heart is your soul, the silver pearl is the integrated system of your soul and the vines are a curse that is constantly growing on your soul! Look, it's even producing roots! " - Navi approached a region of the vines where small roots had begun to form that was trying to pierce the heart.
"What is the curse doing?" - I felt that my life was becoming more problematic every day, I need to hug Shizuka.
"It is a generator of misfortune! Outside of conquering women, almost anything you attempt will be doomed unless you make an effort beyond human sanity! "
So this shit is why I've never been able to win at gambling ...
"Also this curse grows the stronger you get and in case you die, the curse will form roots to adhere to the depths of your soul becoming impossible to eliminate unless you break your soul and rebuild it which would cause the elimination of your memories and personality! "
I'm getting mad, today was a shitty day.
"There are few roots as this curse must have been implanted in your past life so you only went through one reincarnation so there is still hope that you can remove the curse!"
Well, something positive.
"However, I have no idea who put the curse on you or how to remove it! You need to obtain a power related to the soul or at the rate you go the curse will consume you in 2 years! "
… Ah, I want a bottle of vodka.
"As for the effect of the curse, the curse will cause bad luck, a life of suffering, it will make you prone to problems and if the curse manages to consume your soul you will become a mindless puppet!"
This couldn't get any worse ...
"As a bonus, since Rasen, Insanity and I are trying to contain the curse that has made your body unable to use its full potential so your growth is slower than it should be! This is also why it is so difficult for you to master Rasen despite your high Will stat! "
… I hate my life.
"But do not worry! With the help of my new friend, I was able to delve into more secrets of the system and although I couldn't see who built it or why they did it, I was able to find a beginner's guide! With this you can get a reward from a mission that you would not have completed in exchange for doing two random missions that will appear at any time, they can be in a few days or several years and they will be mandatory! "
"And how will that work?" - I sighed, my mind is tired.
"You can get the maximum reward Weapon Gacha Ticket, which will allow you to choose the type of weapon you want! You can select a soul-related weapon and while that won't ensure that you remove the curse it will still help delay the effect of the curse until you can find a better solution! " - Navi is being surprisingly helpful.
"Today you are showing an intellect that I did not expect" - I looked at the flying idiot with surprise, if Navi can be smart it means that this day has been a disaster.
"Muahahaha, I'm an absolute genius! I learned all this after some tests with the system and the curse, there were some accidents, but in the end, I got this valuable information! " - Navi sounded more narcissistic than usual.
Accidents?
"What accidents?" - I frowned.
"Since there was no instruction manual I had to improvise so I accidentally screwed up the reward system and that's why most of the quest rewards are clothing!" - Navi spoke with pride.
"GIGA DRILL BREAK!" - I hit Navi with all my fury.
"Muahahahaha give up, I'm inevitable!" - Navi kept laughing as I hit him on the ground over and over again.
"I'm going to kill you son of a bitch !!" - I don't know if in this place I can use my skills, but I didn't care, I kept hitting Navi.
"Muahahahaha I don't even know if I have parents, I only remember waking up together with you since you were born, I couldn't speak and I could only get out of your core of existence when the system was activated!" - I stopped hitting him.
"Were you here all this time?" - Navi flew again as if nothing had happened.
"Yes! Since I had nothing to do I started to play with the system! The system was originally set up to make you the perfect warrior, but that's stupid! A real man does not seek power but rather to dominate the beautiful women of the multiverse! The King of the Harem is the true way! Stealing the wives and daughters of idiots is your destiny muahahahahahaha! " - I hit Navi again.
"Fucking bastard! Why did you have to change the system?! " - I kept hitting Navi.
"Muahahaha if I didn't then the system would consume your will to turn you into a slave that only obeys orders! Originally the system had a punishment option if you failed a mission, but I removed that shit! Nobody tells a Harem King what to do! " - I stopped hitting Navi and sighed.
"I'll let it go this time, although I value the benefits, my freedom is more important than power ..." - I sighed again.
Power is a tool and not an end, although I can lower my head and act like a subordinate in order to get my pay, that does not mean that I will sacrifice my free will.
I hate Madness because the idiot keeps trying to force my way, although in many ways I think the same as Madness, I will not let someone else mark the path that I will take, even if that path is the right one.
Feelings over morals, benefits over feelings, survival over benefits, but above all and even my own life is my freedom.
Even if that freedom ends up killing me, I will not give up going my own way, one way forward and without stopping.
"Whatever, let's follow your plan, plus having a powerful weapon will help me get over the shit I got into in this world, even though I want to go back to Kenichi's world to see Shigure and my other lovers first I have to recover and seek more power or I will not be able to deal with the experts of Yami and the Ryozanpaku "- I sighed once more.
The gray-skinned monster was a terrifying enemy, if that thing had knowledge of martial arts then it would have killed me.
Even though I am at the Master level, I still have a long way to go before I can face a Super Master, not to mention an Advanced Super Master like Jenazad.
"We are going to fix this whole damn problem" - I looked at the heart that represents my soul.
I don't care who the person or entity was that put that damn vine in my soul, I'm going to kill him in a horrible and painful way.
"Muahahaha look for whoever put the curse on you! If he is a man then you fucks all the beautiful women in his life in front of him! If she is a woman and she is beautiful then you sodomize her until you break her mind! Shows the dominance of a Harem King! " - Navi started laughing like a psychopath.
"By the way Navi, doesn't my soul have some curse related to little girls or crazy women?" - I asked since it is abnormal how fast I am surrounding myself with brats.
"No, you are just a natural lolicon and have a fetish for troublesome women!" - I hit Navi again.
"I will kill whoever put the curse on me!" - I screamed furiously as I saw the vines.
"It is not a curse, it is your destiny!" - Navi floated in front of me, but I didn't see it, it's non-existent.
"I will destroy the curse!" - My words were filled with conviction.
"It is not a curse!" - Navi didn't say anything, it's non-existent.
I will be free from this curse!
クリエイターの想い 
Bukaro
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