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4.81
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- ストーリー展開
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So I'm not good with cultivation stories. I can read the mangas just not the stories. All I can say is I can't wait for this to be turned into a manga so many people will read it. As a story, 5 star as a manga 100 stars. Just think about it. It is amazing.
I like, I like, I like!!! Fresh storyline and nice lead character. I just want to stay up all night to read more. Please update more, I need more chapters. I can't wait to see what happens!!
The plot is really amazing! I like the way you developed the story. I have to say that I'm really impressed with it! Well, I don't read this kind of stories much, but I like it. Good luck!
The author certainly has a way of writing words that pulls a reader into their own world and doesn't let go easily. The detailed descriptions are like an added cherry to the top especially, since there are no grammatical errors in the story. This story is a way better than the normal run of the mill stories we get here on this site and its marvellous!
Alright, here it is. From the review swap. My thoughts are: The first chapter felt like a generic battle. Yet, from chapter 2 onwards the story picks up momentum and becomes overall quite enjoyable. You a little problem with overwriting. What I mean is, you complicate some descriptions that could be replaced with shorter sentences and more direct ways of describing. Sure, the show don't tell rule is important, yet if you embellish too much, it can cause a slog on the pacing. I think that is all. Overall, good stuff.
A beautiful cover page! The plot is interesting and your characters also. I like the fact that the plot is well planned. The reader can feel that from the very beginning of the story. You don't struggle with tenses, style, punctuation, like most of the people here,... (you know what I am talking about...) so use the advantage well!
To a story reminiscent of Rising Dawn, build-up is what matters the most(as the author also emphasized) and it is done greatly here with a certain flair and fluidity to the reading experience while also hosting high potential. Rising Dawn is not a childish Zero-to-Hero story, instead, the author tackles realistic settings and circumstances allowing for an explanation of who the MC will be in the latter chapters. All of this is packaged in a pleasant gift wrap consisting of good writing(as some have pointed out, in very specific parts the writing quality is very lightly lower), an author who know what they are doing despite this being their first venture into writing, and great promise for the future of the novel. The storyline is also interesting and the update schedule stable. Keep up the great work, author :) Have a good day, author and everyone else~~
Though I don't read cultivation stories much I liked it. And I liked the way how you explained your story. As a new writer you have talent and I admire it. Keep it up dear author! I appreciate it!
A very intriguing story. Every chapter is so gripping. The writing style is so smooth and it has best narration. The plot is interesting and the world background is extraordinary. As an author myself, this book is giving me an inspiration to write with this quality. Hoping for more chapters!!!
Let me preface this with an apology. If I sound stunningly inarticulate at times in this review, I can't help it. My mind is completely fried. I am still dipping my toes into the literally fiction pool, finding what works for me and what doesn’t. Books like these, of fantasy, are definitely my cup of tea. This book is like the dystopian Lord of the Rings, with its richly developed culture and economics And also the supporting cast of characters is excellent. And the world building is top notch 👌 Please update more author.
This story has an interesting start. The main character is quite interesting though I thought he is a spoiled child at first. Had been sheltered too much. Maybe he could use his gift in a more useful way to help his parents in the house. Story development was a little slow. And I think the grammar needs a bit of improvement. All in all, this story has potential. Keep on improving! :)
Well. I never read cultivation stories. I don't even know what is that, lol. Can you explain briefly? And secondly, it sounds amazing. And thirdly, please make the description/synopsis a bit longer. It... doesn't catch. If you start reading the book, it absorbs you, but you know, readers give 65% of their attention to the book cover and 35% on the description. If that doesn't catch them, then they won't give the story a chance. Your cover lacks a bit, and so does the description. It's good, not giving spoilers, but there must be enough spoilers that can drag someone from the ear along, lol. I am also a mystery/thriller writer, the reason I've spent a lot of time thinking what to write and what not to write. I hope it helps... Good story outline though. It's amazing.
I get a unique vibe from this novel. When you heard about the saying "show, don't tell" this book is the perfect example of it. The background feels so vivid and the character feels alive. It's better than most of book I've read before. Give it a chance! you'll not disappointed!
Short review: A good hook, nice descriptive language, interesting opening chapters, some mystery and foreshadowing of great things to come. Long review: The writing is very good, with only a few minor kinks, but nothing no one with any sense would scoff at.... Unfortunately, I'm not very sensible ^^. The story development at the start has everything a story needs; huge stakes, sacrifice for the greater good, and huge future obstacles. The characters are overall very detailed, with well-defined features, however, I think the introduction of the MC falls a little flat, initially. The appears to have a good amount of thought behind it, and the foreshadowing for future events suggests interesting developments. Good job!
The story is just so awesome. The author knows how to write in a rhythmic fashion. I don't think I have any critics regarding this story. It's quite rich in words, plot, stability and it total draws you in from the first chapter
First off.... WHY ISN'T THIS IN SPIRITY AS A CONTESTANT IN THE CULTIVATION NOVEL SECTION?! Ahahaha Right, let me say this first. Your opening was a generic fight scene with bloodshed, desperation, and despair. But! You managed to make it so dramatic that I felt bad for the general. Also, I feel bad for the kid because high expectations are expected of him. But still, it's a good start. Moving on to the story, the pace is quite normal. It's a good breather from fast-paced ka-blam-pow novels that would make your blood rush and make you want to punch walls. Honestly, it's a very good, well-balanced novel. If there was an option of 6/5 or 11/10, I would've clicked it, no doubt. The only advice I could give you is to recheck a few chapters since there were a few typos. You're a fast typer, aren't you? hehe. But that's about it. Typos are normal with novels, especially if you're novel reaches a hundred or so chapters or more. This book has great potential. I'll be watching over it as a fellow novelist... what I mean is, this is added to my library and I will be awaiting your updates! ^-^
This is how you open a story. I'm impressed by the description of the white dragon general and how you meticulously built him up as a force of nature. I'll definitely read further, and I have collected this story.
Great novel! I really like the main character. Antihero/unethical protagonists are my personal favorite. The beginning is very intriguing and captivating, and the narration is really well done. Nice job!
Great story! Love the premise of the novel (its my Favorite genere 😄). But seriously, I have a lot of high hopes for this novel so please update author-san For anybody that wants a comparison for this book, I would point out City Of Sin and Monarch Of Evernight. Seems to have that ruthless MC that takes care of his own. Also has a really deep and realistic character development plot. Turky draws the reader in. But the best prt is the action scenes. Just based off the quality and easy to imagine scenes, I really look forward to the war arcs!
Off into the initial chapters, things just keep on getting interesting. I'm amazed at how you described things so vividly. It left me in awe. Like weews this guy can describe awesome stuff. Great job!
This story is lit! With a talented author, this novel was in good hands. I gotta say I'm impressed! Accompanied with hard work and perseverance, this will pave well in the future! Good luck author and may your novel be blessed!
This review is only after finishing chapter two. The writing quality is good. Some spelling and grammatical errors, but nothing major preventing the reader from enjoying the story. Unless you happen to be an English teacher. If you like the tags give it a shot.
The picture for the cover page is great! A very good material for an original and catchy cover page ;) The plot of your story is captivating and the characters expressive. Nicely written descriptions. You don't really struggle with tenses, style, or grammar. It's your advantage over the rest (non-English speakers), use it well!
It's a good start. The main character has been designed well, and the backstory of the world is great. The only thing you really need to work on is your spelling, grammar and punctuation. This brings down the quality of the writing a little bit. If you could find an editor to flesh out those spelling, grammar and punctuation errors, your story would become a much easier read.
Very well writing, just not my cup of tea. The surraunds are beutiful described and make us imnerse in the story. The cons are the fact that the MC was born looking like a mature man but this isn't a reincarnation novel. As I believe in the cultural-historical theory of learning, I just can't understand how a character can learning everything from nothing. The MC is the fusion of Anos Valdigod (from Demon King Academy) with Rey (from Star Wars 7). When he was born I almost saw the sayind I am Anos Valdgod.
Very interesting novel! Good start and synopsis. The language that the author used is also beautiful. I love how the author describes the characters' interaction. It felt like I was really there. I have been already hooked up after reading a few chapters and would like to find out more about how the story progresses. However, I think the author may would like to work on the world background more. I would recommend you to give this novel a try, it is definitely worth it! [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
The Writing Quality is superb, it really makes you feel a type of connection to the MC. Updates are regular and the time between each is short as well. Very Good. Story Development is slow and steady, exactly what I like. Very well done on that part! Character Design, as in any Story of this type and others, a point where I am very interested in is the MC's parents. Parents make a huge difference. Very good writing! Lastly, World Background. Not the best, but clearly not the worst. I felt a few emotions ring out in me at very specific points in the Story. All in all, a Story worth its time. Definitely a good and interesting read!
Waooo this is great! :D The writing is absolutely amazing, and I really love how the author vividly described the whole scene, the whole surrounding! :D Makes me feel like I'm watching a movie if I try to imagine it hehe! <3 The characters are lovable and I love reading their interaction alsoooo Rooting for Cyrusss! :D Great work, authorrr! <3
This books synopsis caught my attention straight away, very well crafted drawing the reader in. The author is extremely descriptive in their writing which crafts an excellent character design and world background for the reader. Although, I found the beginning a little slow making it difficult to tell exactly where the story was leading. Nevertheless, the story did pick up and made it to be a very exciting read once events began to unfold. I would highly recommend simply on the quality of writing alone. Well done author!
I was able to read up till the third chapter. And I was speechless. I ended up falling in love with this story and going to keep reading it later. (adding it to the collections). And I must say, you have a wonderful talent and the potential to reach it to the top as a writer one day. So keep up the good work and make your dream into a reality!!
They say when you can’t beat them, then join them. Well, here I am with an author review :). As a biased opinion I wont go on and on about the novels good points. I’ll just give a simple idea of things to expect in the novel. 1) Will be focused on the MC’s journey - I’m basically referring that all the tags will be evenly mentioned with no dominant topic. However, this could lean more towards kingdom building and wars during the later chapters 2) World building and certain mysteries will be added in throughout first 50 chapters. - Hate to break it too the “instant gratification addicts”, but a good story needs a build up. No one likes a one pump chump if you know what I mean 😋 3) Harem will not be done in the usual happy go-lucky way - Cant spoil too much, but dont expect everyone to get along immediately. Also not every girl will become a waifu, unless their is a lot of support from readers. 4) Their will be some tragic moments that the reader will get emotional about - Once again, MC won’t always get his way here. Things will happen, but I do have a bottom line, just can’t let you know for spoilers sake (It wont be super bad so relax 👍) 5) Action scenes are detailed and descriptive + the cultivation/Powers will be simple but very novel - Always hated reading the same “Chaotic Body”, “Chaos Demon Technique, or “Heavenly Infinite Manifestion”, for cultivation stuff. Also the eastern influence on cultivation will be extremely minimal (No heavenly tribulation and stuff like that). - Now fighting scenes WILL NOT, I REPEAT, WILL NOT, call out attack names, nor talk a bunch. I find that super un-realistic and disturbs the flow of battle. Of course their will be a bit of trash talk, and what not, but it will make sense. Also no, “He slashed forward”, “He slashed horizontally”, and the like. It will be much more detailed an easy to imagine. Thats about it! If you have any questions just mention it on here and ill try and give a response! Hope you stick around and make a great novel with me! 😉
So I'm not good with cultivation stories. I can read the mangas just not the stories. All I can say is I can't wait for this to be turned into a manga so many people will read it. As a story, 5 star as a manga 100 stars. Just think about it. It is amazing.
I like, I like, I like!!! Fresh storyline and nice lead character. I just want to stay up all night to read more. Please update more, I need more chapters. I can't wait to see what happens!!
The plot is really amazing! I like the way you developed the story. I have to say that I'm really impressed with it! Well, I don't read this kind of stories much, but I like it. Good luck!
The author certainly has a way of writing words that pulls a reader into their own world and doesn't let go easily. The detailed descriptions are like an added cherry to the top especially, since there are no grammatical errors in the story. This story is a way better than the normal run of the mill stories we get here on this site and its marvellous!
Alright, here it is. From the review swap. My thoughts are: The first chapter felt like a generic battle. Yet, from chapter 2 onwards the story picks up momentum and becomes overall quite enjoyable. You a little problem with overwriting. What I mean is, you complicate some descriptions that could be replaced with shorter sentences and more direct ways of describing. Sure, the show don't tell rule is important, yet if you embellish too much, it can cause a slog on the pacing. I think that is all. Overall, good stuff.
A beautiful cover page! The plot is interesting and your characters also. I like the fact that the plot is well planned. The reader can feel that from the very beginning of the story. You don't struggle with tenses, style, punctuation, like most of the people here,... (you know what I am talking about...) so use the advantage well!
To a story reminiscent of Rising Dawn, build-up is what matters the most(as the author also emphasized) and it is done greatly here with a certain flair and fluidity to the reading experience while also hosting high potential. Rising Dawn is not a childish Zero-to-Hero story, instead, the author tackles realistic settings and circumstances allowing for an explanation of who the MC will be in the latter chapters. All of this is packaged in a pleasant gift wrap consisting of good writing(as some have pointed out, in very specific parts the writing quality is very lightly lower), an author who know what they are doing despite this being their first venture into writing, and great promise for the future of the novel. The storyline is also interesting and the update schedule stable. Keep up the great work, author :) Have a good day, author and everyone else~~
Though I don't read cultivation stories much I liked it. And I liked the way how you explained your story. As a new writer you have talent and I admire it. Keep it up dear author! I appreciate it!
A very intriguing story. Every chapter is so gripping. The writing style is so smooth and it has best narration. The plot is interesting and the world background is extraordinary. As an author myself, this book is giving me an inspiration to write with this quality. Hoping for more chapters!!!
Let me preface this with an apology. If I sound stunningly inarticulate at times in this review, I can't help it. My mind is completely fried. I am still dipping my toes into the literally fiction pool, finding what works for me and what doesn’t. Books like these, of fantasy, are definitely my cup of tea. This book is like the dystopian Lord of the Rings, with its richly developed culture and economics And also the supporting cast of characters is excellent. And the world building is top notch 👌 Please update more author.
This story has an interesting start. The main character is quite interesting though I thought he is a spoiled child at first. Had been sheltered too much. Maybe he could use his gift in a more useful way to help his parents in the house. Story development was a little slow. And I think the grammar needs a bit of improvement. All in all, this story has potential. Keep on improving! :)
Well. I never read cultivation stories. I don't even know what is that, lol. Can you explain briefly? And secondly, it sounds amazing. And thirdly, please make the description/synopsis a bit longer. It... doesn't catch. If you start reading the book, it absorbs you, but you know, readers give 65% of their attention to the book cover and 35% on the description. If that doesn't catch them, then they won't give the story a chance. Your cover lacks a bit, and so does the description. It's good, not giving spoilers, but there must be enough spoilers that can drag someone from the ear along, lol. I am also a mystery/thriller writer, the reason I've spent a lot of time thinking what to write and what not to write. I hope it helps... Good story outline though. It's amazing.
I get a unique vibe from this novel. When you heard about the saying "show, don't tell" this book is the perfect example of it. The background feels so vivid and the character feels alive. It's better than most of book I've read before. Give it a chance! you'll not disappointed!
Short review: A good hook, nice descriptive language, interesting opening chapters, some mystery and foreshadowing of great things to come. Long review: The writing is very good, with only a few minor kinks, but nothing no one with any sense would scoff at.... Unfortunately, I'm not very sensible ^^. The story development at the start has everything a story needs; huge stakes, sacrifice for the greater good, and huge future obstacles. The characters are overall very detailed, with well-defined features, however, I think the introduction of the MC falls a little flat, initially. The appears to have a good amount of thought behind it, and the foreshadowing for future events suggests interesting developments. Good job!
The story is just so awesome. The author knows how to write in a rhythmic fashion. I don't think I have any critics regarding this story. It's quite rich in words, plot, stability and it total draws you in from the first chapter
First off.... WHY ISN'T THIS IN SPIRITY AS A CONTESTANT IN THE CULTIVATION NOVEL SECTION?! Ahahaha Right, let me say this first. Your opening was a generic fight scene with bloodshed, desperation, and despair. But! You managed to make it so dramatic that I felt bad for the general. Also, I feel bad for the kid because high expectations are expected of him. But still, it's a good start. Moving on to the story, the pace is quite normal. It's a good breather from fast-paced ka-blam-pow novels that would make your blood rush and make you want to punch walls. Honestly, it's a very good, well-balanced novel. If there was an option of 6/5 or 11/10, I would've clicked it, no doubt. The only advice I could give you is to recheck a few chapters since there were a few typos. You're a fast typer, aren't you? hehe. But that's about it. Typos are normal with novels, especially if you're novel reaches a hundred or so chapters or more. This book has great potential. I'll be watching over it as a fellow novelist... what I mean is, this is added to my library and I will be awaiting your updates! ^-^
This is how you open a story. I'm impressed by the description of the white dragon general and how you meticulously built him up as a force of nature. I'll definitely read further, and I have collected this story.
Great novel! I really like the main character. Antihero/unethical protagonists are my personal favorite. The beginning is very intriguing and captivating, and the narration is really well done. Nice job!
Great story! Love the premise of the novel (its my Favorite genere 😄). But seriously, I have a lot of high hopes for this novel so please update author-san For anybody that wants a comparison for this book, I would point out City Of Sin and Monarch Of Evernight. Seems to have that ruthless MC that takes care of his own. Also has a really deep and realistic character development plot. Turky draws the reader in. But the best prt is the action scenes. Just based off the quality and easy to imagine scenes, I really look forward to the war arcs!
Off into the initial chapters, things just keep on getting interesting. I'm amazed at how you described things so vividly. It left me in awe. Like weews this guy can describe awesome stuff. Great job!
This story is lit! With a talented author, this novel was in good hands. I gotta say I'm impressed! Accompanied with hard work and perseverance, this will pave well in the future! Good luck author and may your novel be blessed!
This review is only after finishing chapter two. The writing quality is good. Some spelling and grammatical errors, but nothing major preventing the reader from enjoying the story. Unless you happen to be an English teacher. If you like the tags give it a shot.
The picture for the cover page is great! A very good material for an original and catchy cover page ;) The plot of your story is captivating and the characters expressive. Nicely written descriptions. You don't really struggle with tenses, style, or grammar. It's your advantage over the rest (non-English speakers), use it well!
It's a good start. The main character has been designed well, and the backstory of the world is great. The only thing you really need to work on is your spelling, grammar and punctuation. This brings down the quality of the writing a little bit. If you could find an editor to flesh out those spelling, grammar and punctuation errors, your story would become a much easier read.
Very well writing, just not my cup of tea. The surraunds are beutiful described and make us imnerse in the story. The cons are the fact that the MC was born looking like a mature man but this isn't a reincarnation novel. As I believe in the cultural-historical theory of learning, I just can't understand how a character can learning everything from nothing. The MC is the fusion of Anos Valdigod (from Demon King Academy) with Rey (from Star Wars 7). When he was born I almost saw the sayind I am Anos Valdgod.
Very interesting novel! Good start and synopsis. The language that the author used is also beautiful. I love how the author describes the characters' interaction. It felt like I was really there. I have been already hooked up after reading a few chapters and would like to find out more about how the story progresses. However, I think the author may would like to work on the world background more. I would recommend you to give this novel a try, it is definitely worth it! [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
The Writing Quality is superb, it really makes you feel a type of connection to the MC. Updates are regular and the time between each is short as well. Very Good. Story Development is slow and steady, exactly what I like. Very well done on that part! Character Design, as in any Story of this type and others, a point where I am very interested in is the MC's parents. Parents make a huge difference. Very good writing! Lastly, World Background. Not the best, but clearly not the worst. I felt a few emotions ring out in me at very specific points in the Story. All in all, a Story worth its time. Definitely a good and interesting read!
Waooo this is great! :D The writing is absolutely amazing, and I really love how the author vividly described the whole scene, the whole surrounding! :D Makes me feel like I'm watching a movie if I try to imagine it hehe! <3 The characters are lovable and I love reading their interaction alsoooo Rooting for Cyrusss! :D Great work, authorrr! <3
This books synopsis caught my attention straight away, very well crafted drawing the reader in. The author is extremely descriptive in their writing which crafts an excellent character design and world background for the reader. Although, I found the beginning a little slow making it difficult to tell exactly where the story was leading. Nevertheless, the story did pick up and made it to be a very exciting read once events began to unfold. I would highly recommend simply on the quality of writing alone. Well done author!
I was able to read up till the third chapter. And I was speechless. I ended up falling in love with this story and going to keep reading it later. (adding it to the collections). And I must say, you have a wonderful talent and the potential to reach it to the top as a writer one day. So keep up the good work and make your dream into a reality!!
They say when you can’t beat them, then join them. Well, here I am with an author review :). As a biased opinion I wont go on and on about the novels good points. I’ll just give a simple idea of things to expect in the novel. 1) Will be focused on the MC’s journey - I’m basically referring that all the tags will be evenly mentioned with no dominant topic. However, this could lean more towards kingdom building and wars during the later chapters 2) World building and certain mysteries will be added in throughout first 50 chapters. - Hate to break it too the “instant gratification addicts”, but a good story needs a build up. No one likes a one pump chump if you know what I mean 😋 3) Harem will not be done in the usual happy go-lucky way - Cant spoil too much, but dont expect everyone to get along immediately. Also not every girl will become a waifu, unless their is a lot of support from readers. 4) Their will be some tragic moments that the reader will get emotional about - Once again, MC won’t always get his way here. Things will happen, but I do have a bottom line, just can’t let you know for spoilers sake (It wont be super bad so relax 👍) 5) Action scenes are detailed and descriptive + the cultivation/Powers will be simple but very novel - Always hated reading the same “Chaotic Body”, “Chaos Demon Technique, or “Heavenly Infinite Manifestion”, for cultivation stuff. Also the eastern influence on cultivation will be extremely minimal (No heavenly tribulation and stuff like that). - Now fighting scenes WILL NOT, I REPEAT, WILL NOT, call out attack names, nor talk a bunch. I find that super un-realistic and disturbs the flow of battle. Of course their will be a bit of trash talk, and what not, but it will make sense. Also no, “He slashed forward”, “He slashed horizontally”, and the like. It will be much more detailed an easy to imagine. Thats about it! If you have any questions just mention it on here and ill try and give a response! Hope you stick around and make a great novel with me! 😉