章 128: Pirate king.
"Ughhhh I'm so hungry." Luffy groans laying on the floor of the boat.
"We've literally been sailing for 3 hours and you've already eaten over 50 pounds of food." I say looking at the scrawny teen in shock.
"Those were just snacks though!" He whines.
I look away for two seconds and he's already guzzled an entire barrel of water.
"If you eat all the food and drink the water I'm not giving you any more." I say as he sloshes his bloated stomach around.
"What?! But then I'll starve!" He cries out.
"Well if that happens I'll just turn you into an undead or something." I say going back to my tanning.
"Noooo I don't want to be a ghost like you!"
"I'm not a fucking ghost I'm just pale!"
We continued to sail aimlessly for a for a while until stumbling upon a pirate ship. It had to be the most god awful thing I had seen in my life. It was pink and white and had skulls and hearts all over it.
"Look a ship! Maybe we can sneak on board and find some food and water so we don't die." Luffy says licking his lip.
"Bro it's not even noon and you've eaten and drank everything on the ship." I say looking at the barren dingy.
"I'm a growing boy." He tries to defend himself.
"The only thing that grew was your belly! Where the hell do you put it all!?!" I shout at him.
Our conversation is interrupted by a cannon blast from the ugly ship. I just slap it away before jumping over to the pink disgusting thing. Luffy stretches his arm out to drag the dingy to the side of the boat.
"Who is the little bastard that shot at me as I was having a conversation." I shout to the gobsmacked pirates.
"You interrupted my beauty sleep with your shouting so I decided to shut you up." A loud obnoxious voice says before stomping onto the deck.
It's a fat round woman that kind of reminds me of umbridge carrying a massive spiked mace.
"There's not enough time in the world for all the beauty sleep you'd need to fix that fucked up face." I say looking at the Rotund woman.
There's an intake of breathe around the deck as she gritts her teeth together and glares at me.
"Are you calling me, the beautiful alvida ugly?" She says swinging her massive mace at me. I just catch it with my hand.
"Yes." Then I punt the fat woman into the sky like some kind of team rocket blast off. "This is a robbery hands in the air. Any sudden movements and you die." I say pulling out a black massive gun my lovely wife death had made for me to play pirate.
The pirates all look at me before reaching for guns and sabres.
"Wrong answer." I start shooting off my lovely hand cannon at heads *Boom Boom Boom* there's watermelon like brain splatter everywhere. Their bullets just spark off my body making me look like some kind of gay vampire in love with a dimwitted girl.
Soon the deck is silent. Except for a pink haired cabin boy looking at me in fear. I give him a shushing motion before sweeping all the dead bodies into the ocean and vanishing the blood and brain matter.
"You didn't see anything." I say mysteriously before making my way into the ship. Luffy is gorging himself on food again as I search for treasure.
I find quite a bit of cash and treasure I snag in the fat woman's room. Then I set fire to the whole area.
"Luffy cmon we gotta go the ship is on fire!" I shout as the boy hastily grabs all the food and water he can carry and scurries to the dingy.
You think there's a chance in hell im letting this pink monstrosity go your dead wrong.
The little pink haired cabin boy just hops in the dingy with us as the ship goes up in flames.
"Hi my name is Luffy what's your name?" The idiot it the straw hat asks the terrified boy who is still looking at me.
Behind Luffys back I pull out my gun and give him a shushing motion before acting like normal.
"My name is Koby and I'm going to be a marine!" The little pink haired kid shouts bravely.
"Good luck with that kid." I say going back to tanning as he and Luffy start up a conversation.
"Don't mind him that's Mr.Ghost he's trying to get a tan." Luffy whispers.
"Ghost?" Koby says shaking.
"Yeah don't make him mad or he will haunt you and turn you into an undead. Also he doesn't share his food so don't ask." He says conspiratorially.
"It's cause you never stop eating! I'd go broke before you filled that bottomless hole you call a stomach." I say putting in some headphones.
With koby steering it doesn't take us very long before we actually do reach an island that's filled with people.
We quickly make landfall and Luffy heads off to find some more food I swear that's all he does is eat man.
I ask for some direction before splitting off from the group.
"Ryan where are you going the bar is this way?" Luffy asks me.
"Ah you see I'm just going for a walk. Yeah a nice stroll to stretch my legs." I say with a smile.
"Oh okay well if you need us we will be eating." He says running away and dragging Koby.
Making my way down the road I find myself looking at a nice little marine base. In front of the marine base is a dirt field with poles. Tied to one of these poles in a green haired man.
I walk on over to take a look. "Zoro is it?" I ask him and he ignores me. "You are an idiot." I say with a smile before happily walking into the marine base.
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