章 31: Part XXXI
The atmosphere immediately changes, a dark and fiery aura envelopes the entire room almost choking me as I stare wide eyed sitting on the ground in the dark.
Sean gets down from the bed, the dim cupreous light doing a great job in making his already intimidating features look even scarier as he advances towards me, looking directly at me.
"Why are you in here?." He stops right in front of me, his voice angry and dangerous causing my heart to thump loudly. I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out, my brain betraying me. He reaches down with one hand and raises me up by my neck till our eyes meet, mine red and bulgy while his red and angry, livid even.
"What did you see?." He half yells threateningly and i cough painfully, struggling for breath and scratching his hand. My legs flailing and kicking as I feel my soul struggling to stay in my body. He keeps choking me and as the seconds tick by, my life ticks away. Painfully. A tear rolls down my cheek and immediately, he tosses me aside and I sprain my ankle in the process. Aggressively taking in all the air I could get, I rub at my neck trying to ease the pain from his violent hold.
"Leave." He turns around and walks away, stopping right at his bed. My sprained ankle refuses me from getting up immediately but my delay seems to irritate him even more as he kicks his large king sized bed with so much power it rams into the wall, seeming like a small box compared to his strength.
"GET OUT NOW!" He yells and I ignore the pain in my ankle immediately sprinting towards my room and closing the door behind me, although his angry yells and violent rampage still loud enough for me hear.
What the fuck is going on?? I wanna yell too but instead, I just release the pent up tears. I merely wanted to help. I just wanted to end his misery. I know what it's like to have terrible terrible dreams, I felt his pain and wanted to save him. That was my only intent! Why does everything have to go against me! I do not even know where I am, the only thing I see through the curtains is the sky above and unending trees below. Who or what Sean is, the visitors yesterday, me being his betrothed and him being King is all like a silly joke to me, or a game. A game I have to play without knowing the rules nor how to win.
I'd trade anything, anything at all to go back in time, go back to when I was just an innocent naive wife to a loving and caring man.
Leaping, trying to escape from his muffled yells, I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I don't look like me anymore. My once round and fat face now gaunt with dull eyes and very dark circles around my eyes. Not forgetting my pale skin and scattered hair nested on my head, I'd almost pass for the zombies in my dream. Dylan would have never let another man touch me, he'd rather die than watch someone else inflict pain on me. He had the best soul anyone could ever desire, the most loving heart.
My best memories are with him, but it's too bad he has my worst memories too. Why did I even meet Sean in the first place?!!!! He ruined it all. And made me kill him. Yelling, I punch the mirror with all the strength I could muster and it shatters to the ground. Blood trickles down my knuckles and I sigh at the pain. Physical pain seems to be the only thing that can ease my emotional suffering, even if it's just a little.
I sit on the ground hopelessly and frustratedly with my back resting on the drawer when a glass pricks me. It shines in my shaky hands as I pick it up and an idea comes to me, the best idea I've had in like forever.
Without thinking about it, I press the sharp point into my left arm, slashing it and the flesh opens up with sickly red blood oozing out in it's wake. I hiss and cry out at the pain, but deep down it relieves me. The bleeding continues, but the pain reduces by the second and I cut myself again, just few inches from the former. The pain shoots through my arm and goes straight to my brain, blood dripping on the red silk dress, soaking it.
For once in a long time, my attention is drawn from all my misery and I feel a different kind of pain. A pain that eases another. It's better, relieving.
Dylan, Sean they both came at me with knives, why wait for them now that I need it. I've felt a thousand pain in a short while but never did I think pain could feel this good. Agonizing, but good.
The pain starts to subside and I could feel my mind seeping away slowly in the direction I dread the most. Laying on the ground weakly, I pick up the glass and raise my brutalized hand up, the fresh wounds red and beautiful. It was like a work of art, my very own piece. With shaky fingers, I connect the glass to my skin once more and create a deep horizontal line, matching the rest. I lay flat on my back, smiling with tears flowing down my eyes.
"You have a new friend now." I tell the previous cuts and laugh lightly.
Such relief. For once in a long time I don't feel afraid, I don't feel scared or hurt. I feel nothing. I feel numb to everything. This is how it should be. I don't want to feel the pain anymore, but I want to feel it still. Dark dots appears in my vision and i chuckle, not knowing why. My malnourished body surely wasn't prepared for my assault as it weakens by the second and the slumber I avoided so much creeps it's way slowly to me.
I wanna cut again to prevent myself from sleeping but my body refuses to move. Sighing, I decide to let it rest and relish my numb, relaxed and sedated state.
My body finally gives in to sleep but just a second before I lose consciousness, I hear my name from a distance. I hope it's death calling.
クリエイターの想い 
Blackturtle
Blackturtle If you enjoy reading my book, would you mind taking a minute to review it and vote with power stones? it won't take a minute of your time.
Thanks for your support!
God bless you for reading once again.
週次パワーステータス
-- 推薦
ランキング 
-- 推薦
チケット