Today was like any other day for Emelia, watching the hustle and bustle of the outside world as her time slowly ticked away. She usually wasn't one for depressed feelings but something felt off about today.
'Will this ever end?'
Her thoughts turned sombre as she felt the cannula deposit another dose of her pain killers straight into her veins. She shivered at the sensation as a cold sweat gathered at the top of her forehead, weakness filling her limbs and making the sensations of her body all that more disgusting.
'Why must I suffer like this?'
The noise of the hospital was an ever present buzz in her ears as the coolness accompanied it, chilling her pale white skin causing her to attempt movements to stop her limbs from cramping.
Nurses and Doctors traversed the halls just outside of her section of the ward, their voices all but lost on her with the sheer amount of noise from other patients and staff. Carts filled with food and other small amenities shuffled from section to section offering the patients some brief reprieve from their horrible fate. Ultimately is was the representation of wait around and die.
'Let's hope i can leave here soon and that it's not serious...'
...
"Unfortunately Miss Emelia you have stage 4 cancer, it has spread from your lungs into your heart and surrounding organs... I am afraid you will most likely pass away within the week." His face was all darkened and seemed quite serious as he held a clipboard and glanced between it and me.
'That's it huh?' My thoughts were halted, i couldn't process what i had just been told. It was surreal and honestly almost impossible to comprehend for someone like me, a sickly nineteen year old with pal white skin, no muscle mass, blue eyes and blonde hair.
"Thank you doctor... Is there any way i can take euthanasia?"
The doctor wiped his forehead slightly as small but saddened smile graced his lips. "Unfortunately we can do no more than we already have, we are held back legally from doing anything to you as your parents are not present." I tsked at that and looked off to the side, through the window again, watching the birds fly.
I felt some repressed feelings spring forth at the mention of me having to die due to my organs boiling, as the book I had read told me about cancer. I looked back towards the doctor, desperation in my eyes.
"Please... is there any way to unofficially end me?"
Unadulterated sadness rushed through the man's face as I looked at him pleadingly. From that moment i knew it was impossible, his hands were tied and there was no way for him to condone such an action.
I felt that spark of of hope within me die as my last chance at a painless death slipped through my narrow bony fingers. He asked me if there was anything else he could do which i didn't answer and simply looked out through the window once again.
Multiple seconds later the footsteps of the doctor vanished down the corridors, followed by his nurse assistant. I broke down into tears at my impending death and the ugliness of it.
...
Five days later the Australian Summer had arrived, although I felt none of it being in the air-conditioning although that small fact did very little for me as i sat in extreme pain. Shimmering heat gathered outside of the windows of the hospital and the sun bore down onto the outside like an angry demon taking revenge on its enemies. I reminisced at my times within school with my friends...
My insides felt like a washing machine as the process of my organs melting began... It wouldn't be much longer, i knew. Once again i asked why i was the one to suffer such pain. Half an hour passed in such a way, the doctors looking on in helplessness as the painkillers did nothing for me now. They tried to speak to me but my hearing was shot and the pain making my head spin in spirals. Blood began to trickle from my mouth as i felt pressure building in my throat and i slowly choked on my own blood.
I flailed around trying to find someone to help but no one was there. 'Why did they abandon me here? Was I not at least helpful around the house...?' This continued for half a minute until i felt a soft sensation, as if hands scooping me up from behind.
'Is this death? It's very fluffy.'
My consciousness slipped into darkness as my last thoughts centred around how unfair life was.
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Hey this is the Author! I have redone this chapter and plan to redo some more in future, please stick through my story as it gets much better in future!
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