Emotions.
A strong feeling (reaction) deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationship with others.
I never fully understood them.
They weren't foreign to me—Anger, Sadness, Fear, Guilt…—I've experienced them all. Plenty of times before.
As humans, we were inherently designed to feel them.
...But merely experiencing them didn't equate to understanding them.
[Don't worry. I'll make sure to make it quick.]
A certain voice hung in the air. It was gentle, yet carried a gravity that drew my attention.
Two lackluster gray eyes seemed fixed on me.
Or… felt like it. I knew that it wasn't possible since the one talking was inside the TV screen.
However, as I gazed into those eyes, I had a sudden thought—'Why does it feel like they're looking right at me?'
"Pftt."
I shook my head.
Stupid.
[This is the last step, right? ...The last step before my hell is finally over?]
He stood solitary, amidst the wreckage. The landscape lay strewn with debris and shattered structures. The world around him seemed to have halted, frozen in a moment in time.
In that instant, the dullness in his gaze faltered, and what appeared to replace it was something akin to... anguish.
Grief?
[...Hah]
The man clutched his shirt, slowly wrinkling it as his lips slowly curled into a hazy smile.
[I'll do it.]
His head lowered to meet another gaze.
[...]
With black hair, this person knelt on the ground with their back faced against the screen, gazing up at the gray-eyed man. No words escaped their lips; they simply stared.
Perhaps he wanted to say something, but couldn't. After all, a large gaping wound was present on his back.
[Ah, yes... I shouldn't drag this out.]
The gray-eyed man lifted his hand, unveiling the cold gleam of a sword. His lackluster gray eyes quivered ever so slightly as the blade descended down in one fluid motion.
SHIIING—!
[I've waited far too long for this.]
The screen turned black.
"Umm… So what do you think?"
I heard a familiar voice call out to me, and I lowered my gaze.
"Not bad, I guess."
While I inherited more from our father, it was evident that he had drawn more from our mother. His auburn locks cascaded gracefully to his forehead, and his green eyes gazed back at me.
This kid, who was my only remaining family, was my brother; Noel Rowe.
"Not bad? Just that…?"
"What do you want me to say?"
I wasn't much of a gamer. In fact, I never had the time to play games. There were things I needed to prioritize in life; however, leisure was not one of them.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that I found the game uninteresting.
"I mean… You can lie."
"And why would I do that?"
"Because it's my favorite game."
"Right…"
What sort of reasoning was this?
I blinked slowly before reaching for my drink.
"You know… I think it's best if you don't drink."
"I don't care."
Taking hold of the glass cup, I felt its coarse texture beneath my fingers before slowly bringing it towards my lips.
As the glass drew nearer, my attention fixated on the brownish liquid it contained. It was whiskey, a choice that seemed fitting for the moment.
As I cast my gaze downward, my reflection stared back at me, giving me a glimpse of the person I had become.
Hollow eyes, a vanishing mane of hair, protruding cheekbones—my visage had become something I wasn't able to recognize.
Even my hand quivered as I clutched the cup.
'I've had better days…'
I smiled bitterly to myself.
Stage IV Lung Cancer.
Not a pretty disease.
I still remember to this day the numerous emotions I felt during the day I received the news. I was just 24 years old. How was it possible for me to get cancer? But there was no denying what was inside me.
So…
I just accepted it.
Acceptance didn't come quickly. At first, I fought. I changed my diet and underwent Chemotherapy. But my life became miserable from that point on.
All my savings started to drain, and each day seemed more hollow than the other.
That was when I accepted my situation and just stopped everything.
Okay, fine. I'm dying.
Still.
*Sip*
Why make what remained of my life a torture?
I might as well enjoy what remained of it. Even if it made my life shorter.
"B..itter."
My chest burned and my hand trembled.
Despite that, I kept a firm grip on the glass and continued to sip on it. Every breath I took was laced with pain, yet the pain at the back of my throat held a strangely comforting allure.
So I focused my attention on it.
Relished it.
"…Brother, are you really just going to drink like that?"
Noel's worried voice reached my ears.
But despite his worry, I continued to drink.
"Let me... be."
I closed my eyes and savored the pain at the back of my throat.
Only this way could I forget about the other pain that was constantly invading my body.
*Sip*
It hurt.
I felt so tired. I could barely move. And I felt so useless.
But...
"Haaa..."
I felt comfortable.
Yes.
This is how it should be.
"Cou…gh."
I was caught off-guard. I wasn't able to hold it. My chest pounded fiercely, and my hand visibly shook. It took every little bit of my willpower to not drop my glass.
"Brother!"
"I'm… Cough! F-fine."
I opened my eyes to see Noel staring at me with a worried look.
My vision shook, and my hand almost gave out, but I held it in.
Staring back at him, I only felt guilt. He was only 16 years old. Our parents had died a long time ago, and I was his remaining family.
…I didn't want to leave him alone, but what choice did I have?
If I chose to stay longer, with what money was he going to survive?
In a way, stopping Chemotherapy wasn't just because I didn't want to prolong my suffering. It was also a way for me to leave him something before I left.
Rather than leaving him in debt and dying, I'd rather die and leave him with something to lean on.
It was my duty.
My duty as his brother.
Drip. Drip.
Tears streamed down his face as he gazed at me. The incessant buzzing in my head made it difficult to discern his words, but it appeared he was trying to call an ambulance.
I stopped him and shook my head before pointing toward the TV.
"Tell me… Tell me about the game."
"Game?"
Seeing his reaction, I managed to force a smile.
"Yea-h. Tell me why it's your favorite game?"
He wouldn't stop talking about it.
"That…"
He looked unsure of what to say, but after glancing at me once more, he wiped his tears and started to recount everything.
"The game is called Rise of the Three Calamities, and the main character is called Leon. He's an orphan and the story starts at Haven. An institute, or more like an Academy where cadets are trained for the future of the Nurs Ancifa Empire. One of the four great empires..."
To be honest, I was only able to make out a couple of words. After a certain time, all I could see was his mouth moving, but I just nodded along.
For the sake of it. I had to pretend to be fine.
So just...
'Let me die faster.'
Time seemed to flow endlessly and before I knew it, Noel was standing by the door of the apartment.
"Brother, I'm going to go grab some Lunch. I'll bring you your favorite."
That… I could hear.
And just as his hand grasped the door, his feet came to a sudden stop.
"I'll see you soon… okay?"
"Okay."
I answered back, albeit weakly.
"Good."
Clank—!
The door closed and silence filtered across the room.
"…"
For some unknown reason, the silence brought a smile to my face.
My eyes slowly closed, and I relished in the silence.
"Cough! ...Cou..gh!"
Yet that tranquility proved fleeting as I was seized by uncontrollable coughing. When I reopened my eyes and gazed down, I caught sight of my hands which were stained in blood.
My blood.
"Sh...it."
A clink resonated in the air.
The cup in my grasp had finally tumbled to the ground, and the world began to whirl around me.
'Looks like I can't maintain the facade any longer.'
Whiskey spilled onto the floor, and my chest throbbed intensely with pain.
I had managed to hold back before, but such a thing was no longer possible as all energy drained from my body and I leaned back on my chair.
'It's good that he didn't see me in this state.'
Sometimes, one suffers in silence not out of embarrassment, but out of necessity.
How could I allow my brother to see this?
"Ha.. Aha…"
I felt my chest tremble as something pierced right at my heart. It wasn't the same pain that I was accustomed to, but a different pain.
Anger.
Regret.
Sorrow.
Sadness.
Emotions.
That's what the pain was.
I felt them vividly.
I could tell them apart.
I was familiar with each and every one of them.
But I didn't understand them.
…And with these last thoughts, my eyelids gradually closed.
"Ah…"
That's when I took my last breath.
Or so I thought.
'Uh... I'm still alive?'
There was no way. But... I was starting to doubt it. That was despite feeling certain that I had drawn my last breath.
It was the only logical conclusion I could make as I found myself standing on the remains of a city.
My sinuses clogged up as a result of the smoke that lingered in the air, and I heard a low, steady ringing in my head at the same time. Sort of like the buzz of a mosquito, but a lot more annoying than that.
With all of that taken into account, I was certain that there was something wrong with the situation. I felt there, yet not at the same time.
If that made any sense?
Must be some sort of hallucination one experiences before death.
It had to be.
I was more convinced of this when I found myself standing amidst the ruins of a city unknown to me, confused by the peculiar architecture of the buildings. They appeared to belong to a distinct era, unlike anything familiar to my own.
How weird.
The entire situation was weird and I had trouble wrapping my head around it.
Despite my eagerness in wanting to find out more about what was happening to me and what the city around me was, I couldn't.
I was stuck where I was.
Or more like, I was trapped.
I could see, smell, hear, taste, and touch just fine. It was just that, I had no control over my body. I felt as though I were a marionette, manipulated by an external force.
Rumble! Rumble!
My focus was captured by a distant rumble, prompting my head to turn toward the source of the sound. A voice unknown to me emerged, flowing from my lips.
"It's about time... I thought they'd be slower."
There was something about the voice. It sounded unnatural. Almost robotic in my ears, but I couldn't quite tell.
Just what is happening?
I was flustered, but what else could I do? There was no way out for me, and all I could do was just observe.
BOOOM—!
A distant building disintegrated, and from within its ruins emerged a particular figure.
Our eyes met, and I instantly sensed an overwhelming weight pressing down on my body, stifling me.
"I... finally found you!"
A screeching voice reverberated through the air and the sky turned a scarlet color.
The pressure that bore down on me increased, and she soon appeared before my very eyes.
She was... breathtaking.
More so than anyone I'd ever seen in my life, making me further question the validity of what I was seeing.
Adorned with flowing, fiery red locks cascading down her back, her hair danced in the sunlight, displaying hues of crimson, copper, and gold, as if flames had been artfully woven into the fibers of her hair.
But it was her eyes that truly caught my attention. Gleaming like golden orbs, they possess a depth and brilliance that seemed to reflect the distant sun.
'Just what is happening? ...and why is she looking at me like that?'
She seemed eerily familiar, yet at the same time wasn't. I more or less knew that I had seen her before, but I couldn't quite picture when.
"Is that all you have to say to me?"
Her gaze contained a little something. I couldn't quite understand what it was... perhaps longing? Disappointment? I wasn't too sure.
"H—"
My mouth had just parted open when all of a sudden, the sky which had previously dyed red, turned a purplish hue, and lightning began to crackle down from the sky.
Cracka! Cracka!
It tore at everything beneath, destroying the buildings and infrastructures with an unstoppable might.
In a matter of moments, the clouds ruptured, unveiling the silhouette of a woman. Her vibrant purple hair swayed gracefully through the expanse of the sky, while her piercing gaze, brimming with an overwhelming sense of animosity, fixated upon me.
Cracka! Cracka!
The sky continued to be ravaged by relentless lightning, intensifying the pressure that oppressed every inch of my being. The force was so formidable that my legs nearly buckled beneath me.
Yet, inexplicably, the individual I was presently "possessing" displayed unwavering stubbornness. My bones cracked, and I was having a hard time breathing under the extreme pressure.
Yet.
As if what I was experiencing meant nothing.
I remained standing where I was.
"So... you're finally here too."
His voice carried through the air, reaching the woman with lustrous, purple hair suspended in mid-air.
The lightning surrounding her crackled with increased intensity, while her gaze seethed with amplified hatred. However, she remained immobile, as if she couldn't move at all.
That was when I felt my lips curl, and the world underwent another change.
From Red to Purple... to Black.
Abruptly, darkness engulfed my sight, causing the distant city to vanish entirely. The sky dissipated, and everything in my surroundings vanished, leaving only the two women ahead of me.
Emerging from the depths of the inky abyss, a figure took shape in the distance. Her eyes, a vivid shade of crimson, radiated with an intense luminosity that pierced through the darkness, unveiling a cascade of snowy white hair flowing down her shoulders.
She too...
Looked at me with nothing but hatred.
Ah... I get it now.
Her appearance was what it took to make me understand.
Understand why they felt so familiar to me before.
'They're the same girls from the game that my brother showed me before.'
Just before my death. There was one game my brother continued to talk about. 'Rise of the Three Calamities.'
I didn't know much about the game as I never got the chance to play it, but it was something my brother was enthusiastic about.
He wouldn't stop talking about it…
The pieces of the puzzle fell into place as soon as all three appeared before me, triggering a recollection of the game's cover. Although I had only glimpsed it briefly without giving it much thought, it took me a moment to jog my memory.
But now, I was certain.
The three women who stood in front of me... glaring at me with such hatred that made my heart palpitate, were the same Three Calamities that belonged to the game my brother showed me just before my death.
Or what I thought was my death. Was I still dead? I wasn't too sure anymore.
They were most likely the older version of the girls on the background of the cover.
Contrary to their youthful portrayal on the cover, the women before me appeared considerably older.
Their gazes deviated greatly from the playful depiction on the cover, radiating an unrelenting aura of bloodlust that seemed to want to eat me alive.
"How long has it been since we've last been together?"
My mouth parted. This time, I could hear the voice more clearly. It sounded oddly calm despite the situation he was in.
None of the girls spoke. They just stared at me with the same expressions on their faces.
My lips curled further.
"I like those expressions."
My hand reached forward all of a sudden and a black chalice materialized, seemingly out of thin air, landing securely in my grasp. Enclosed within its confines, a peculiar black liquid resided.
Rumble—! Rumble—!
The appearance of the chalice seemed to have triggered something as the world suddenly started to quake fiercely.
The girls' expressions changed dramatically and the pressure that bore on me intensified.
Yet, despite it all. 'I' remained where I was.
"S-stop!"
"Fuck, stop this bastard!"
Strings of curses flew my way, but the only response was a slight raise of the cup.
"Nooo!"
As the chalice approached my lips, a fleeting moment allowed me to steal a glance at my own visage, mirrored within the depths of the dark liquid residing inside.
Handsome.
Was all I could think of as I stared at the man reflected within the liquid of the chalice.
'Is this me?'
There was an air of confidence and allure that emanated from him that perfectly matched the disposition he displayed.
His intense, hazel eyes held a mesmerizing depth, shimmering under the blackness of the liquid, matching his lustrous black hair. The strong, chiseled features of his face were accentuated by a well-defined jawline and a perfectly proportioned nose.
Never in my life had I ever seen anyone this handsome.
'Ha, I really must be dead...'
Rumble—! Rumble—!
The world around me seemed to completely crumble. Before I knew it, the three girls were already upon me. Coming from all sides.
Their power sent shivers down my spine.
But despite it all. 'I' remained where I was, feeling a slight curl at the end of my lips as the chalice drew to my mouth and I took a sip.
'It's bitter.'
Pfttt—!
At that very moment, as the initial sip of liquid touched my lips, a searing agony tore through me.
I felt something drip from the side of my mouth as my head slowly lowered. It was there that I caught a glimpse of a large sword.
It passed right through my chest.
Drip... Drip...
Red stained the top of the sword as it dripped from the corner of my mouth.
Slowly, my head turned, and it was there that I caught a glimpse of two dull grey eyes staring back at me.
"Right. I forgot about you."
The words came flawlessly out of my mouth. As if nothing had happened. But I knew. I knew better than anyone that he was merely on his last straw.
Yet.
I remained standing. Proudly. In front of everyone.
Gulp—!
And with a gulp, the world around me turned dark.
The next moment I woke up, I found a large screen floating before my very eyes.
— ●[Julien D. Evenus]● —
Level :17 [Tier 1 Magician]
Exp : [0%—[16%]———————100%]
Profession : Magician
﹂ Type : Elemental [Curse]
﹂ Type : Mind [Emotive]
Spells :
﹂ Beginner type spell [Emotive] : Anger
﹂ Beginner type spell [Emotive] : Sadness
﹂ Beginner type spell [Emotive] : Fear
﹂ Beginner type spell [Emotive] : Happiness
﹂ Beginner type spell [Emotive] : Disgust
﹂ Beginner type spell [Emotive] : Surprise
﹂ Beginner type spell [Curse] : Chains of Alakantria
﹂ Beginner type spell [Curse] : Hands of Malady
Skills :
[Innate] - Foresight
— ●[Julien D. Evenus]● —
Anda mungkin juga menyukai
Komentar Paragraf
Fitur komentar paragraf sekarang ada di Web! Arahkan kursor ke atas paragraf apa pun dan klik ikon untuk menambahkan komentar Anda.
Selain itu, Anda selalu dapat menonaktifkannya atau mengaktifkannya di Pengaturan.
MENGERTI