The Huntsman Of Death:A Gamer's POV As Side Character

LV 4

Lonelythree

Hello, I am Lonelythree and this is the first time I am reviewing my book and want to tell you something. First, this book would follow a mixed pov writing style with a majority in the First person and some parts third person. Secondly, this novel would follow a mix of fantasy, lore, secret groups, evil religion, evil gods, the Academy, and Mc having its followers so you can expect a great number of things. The pacing would be a bit slow and world-building would be crafted phase by phase so that there isn't much info dump. This is my first novel with a serious story with a lot of things going so I might make mistakes but do suggest corrections and remind me of plot holes. Before you form your opinion, I would ask you to read the first 20-30 chapters before disliking or commenting on it. Constructive criticism is accepted but doesn't just give 1-star with no feedback and filled with symbols. Give 1 star but have a say about what you disliked and what can be improved.

LV 15

Eldeel

Read till chapter 10 and well this is where I will drop this novel. Here are are some of my observations, 1. Story beginning and writing style is a bit too inspired from Hunter academy. I myself am a big fan of hunter academy and Shattred Innocence but I don’t want to go through similar slow paced and self torture experience. I know you probably diverged from the story later on but I am not gonna endure through a similar experience to find something new 30 chapters later. 2. You break the fourth wall too often. You can explain a situation through internal monologues rather than explaining directly to the readers. (Sry if you find that I am being too pedantic but I am a sucker for a consistent and proper wruimg style. As a result I can be hyper critical about such things) 3. Slow paced writing style is good for character development but you need to understand you will lose majority of the reader base if you can’t make it an exiting experience. That is you need to hook the readers in with an intresting plot point. I tried my best but I didn’t find anything interesting other than chapter 1 and then it went downhill for me. (I know it might just be a me problem as I might have not had felt the excitement cause I am comparing it to hunter academy from the beginning. But is it my mistake I read a novel very similar to this previously?) 4. I would have also appreciated if the mc laid out a plan early, cause why keep the readers in the dark about mundane things like the black market plot. You could have just had an internal monologue to explain how the mc wanted to get a pair of weapons and cash. And that he wanted to affect the plot aswell by leaking some important information. 5. The Mc’s hate for the entity who pulled him into this world and his declaration to gain revenge seems retarded tbh. Like aren’t we overshooting a bit much? I get it you want the mc to have motivation to grow stronger but this just seems too dumb. Again I have to compare it to Hunter Academy and how Astron has an irrational hate towards Demons and demon contractors. - I wont lie if the Mc just had said I want to dominate(or be best) this world like he was best at everything in the previous world. I would have found it better motivation cause it actually matched the personality we saw in chapter 1. On a positive note writing quality is acceptable and writer has an ability to express and make the reader feel emotions. I genuinely felt sad when the mc interacted in his house and his attachment to his mother. I can clearly see you have ability to write a good book. I know you will say read further and how the story plot is different but sadly I don’t care. I enjoyed more about bitching about the book to write this review than the last chapter of this book I just read.

LV 3

ItsAfraud

It is good. Keep it up and please don't drop this

LV 3

Logic_Trait

This story is truly amazing and has great potential.Each chapter makes you seeking more and really is a must to read.I won't get into detail, but you should read a few chapters and judge it yourself.

LV 12

Wodehouse

Awesome! Keep it up.