"Look at this Yae!" shouted Kenshin, entering Yae's room as she was changing.
"KENSHIN!" Yae covered herself. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"
"I came here to show you something, of course" Kenshin said in a voice that showed how stupid Yae's question was. "I said it just after entering".
"I'm changing!" Yae shouted in indignation. "Knock before you come in!"
"Why should I?" asked a confused Kenshin.
"Because you don't know if I'm changing!" Yae replied, with her back turned and quickly grabbed her clothes again.
"But I knew you were changing though" Kenshin replied.
"What did you say?" Yae asked in an eerily calm voice.
"Well, I'm blind so I guessed it didn't matter" replied casually Kenshin, not caring about Yae's indignation. "Not that you have much to show anyway, and your usual shrine maiden outfit shows quite a lot so at this point, I don't even know if I would be that interested to face your wrath even with my sight intact".
Yae didn't answer, she quietly wore her clothes and took a talisman, one she knew Kenshin couldn't see. But of course, Kenshin knew what she was doing.
"Drop that" Kenshin weakly said. "Your Shogun commands it!"
"I can't care less about it" said Yae.
"AAAAHHHHHH!"
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"What were you trying to show me?" asked Yae to Kenshin, who was tied on the floor with his hands and face red.
Yae knew that he was somewhat proud of his nickname 'The Slapping Baby', so she generously gave him even more reasons to like it.
"This" Kenshin said with a red handprint in each cheek.
"Hmm, this is amazing" said honestly Yae. She saw the whole view of the Tenshukaku and the Narukami Island from the Shrine, captured on a piece of paper.
"Of course, it's far more important than your inconspicuous....how to call them....pears?".
"Kenshin" Yae said warningly.
"I don't even know why are you so angry, that's not even your true body, is it?" asked Kenshin with a shrug. He didn't see the big deal.
"It's as mine as my true form is" said Yae with a frown.
"Well, who cares".
"I do".
"And I don't. Look at that painting, I did it" Kenshin proudly said.
"I don't believe you" replied instantly Yae. "When you were a child, a picture of your parents turned up to be the best purification circle I have ever seen".
"Then who else can do it?" Kenshin asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I heard that in Fontaine they built a device that can do something like that, but it's only a prototype" mused Yae.
"Well, mine is better. I used that soul ink Guizhong sent me, I thought, 'Hey, I can manipulate souls, why not manipulate the ink itself?'" Kenshin said with a smile.
"That's indeed something only you could do" nodded Yae, admiring Kenshin's resourcefulness reluctantly.
"Haha, of course. The Shogun is amazing after all" Kenshin said while looking at the entrance of the shrine.
"Hey, kid" Yae asked with a frown. "What are you looking at?". But Kenshin only smiled.
"Guuji-sama!" a miko knocked on the door with a panicked voice.
"Come in" Yae said, glancing at Kenshin suspiciously.
The miko entered, and instead of giving Yae an explanation, she just showed her a small book, only around 20 pages long. It couldn't be called a book with only those.
"Kenshin" Yae's face showed the magnitude of her impending wrath. "What is this?".
"My new invention" Kenshin answered with a bright smile. "I call it manga, a way for illiterate people to enjoy reading. And this one is the first one of its genre, shoujo manga is what I've decided to call it".
"I don't care about the how or why. What I want to know is why am I kissing Ei here".
"Well, from this position I am seeing all the pages together so I don't know what are you looking at, but be assured. But the manga in about a heartwarming story of a miko who is abandoned by her family, and a lonely god who everyone is ignoring and using their powers to their own ends. After a myriad of tribulations, they finally find solace in each other arms. Of course, it's safe for the public" replied Kenshin with a sagely nod.
Yae quickly looked at the rest, and the miko quickly left, not wanting to be in the blast radius.
"I sold 'that' book so goddamn fast, that I decided to give my faithful readers- *ahem* minions, a present. And what better way than letting them feast their eyes on my new 'art?" Kenshin replied while holding back a laugh, that quickly turned into a panicking expression.
"Yae! Let me out! Your lover is coming here, and her wrath is apocalyptic!"
"I don't have a lover" Yae replied while waiting for Ei to arrive. But Kenshin had a compassionate smile.
"That's so sad I don't feel like escaping anymore. A 500+ years old virgin, no wonder you can use magic".
"Kenshin!" Ei's wrath finally arrived, and it had the force of a typhoon.
"Ei, your lover is a virgin, please do something about that" Kenshin pleaded, shedding tears from the pity he felt.
"What are you talking about now?! Doesn't matter, why did you do this!?" Ei said, hitting at the 'book' in her hands.
"Because I wanted. You are too rigid and thought you could have a bit of fun" Kenshin, seeing that he wasn't escaping, stopped trying to fool them.
"Why are you still going on about this?" asked Yae, feeling down for an unknown reason. "Are you that excited to see us do 'this'?"
"Are you offering?" asked Kenshin with wide eyes. "Anyway, I don't hear Makoto complaining".
"We all know she is a pervert" said Yae, shaking her head to get rid of those nebulous feelings.
"Thoma's dog did exactly that after getting out of the shower" pointed out Kenshin, making Yae's face darkened again.
"So you are saying....." Ei started with a horrified face.
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"Hmm, I never knew Beelzebub had this kind of relationship with her familiar" mused Morax, looking curiously at the 'book. He was more intrigued by the technique than by the contents.
"They don't" added Guizhing with a tired face. "It's probably Kenshin messing around, just like with that book".
"He truly knows no fear" Morax nodded, appreciating such boldness.
"To think the ink I specially made for him is used to to this?" muttered Guizhong. "Hm? What happening there?".
From their position on the ground, Morax and Guizhong saw a huge agglomeration on one of the upper floors of the Harbour.
"I dare not question it" Morax smartly went away, only to be stopped by Guizhong.
"I dare, and you are going to protect me" she said, and started leaving for the crowd, Morax following her with a tired look.
After reaching the crowd, they still couldn't see what was going on, not even Morax with his impressive stature.
"Excuse- hiiiih!" Guizhong tried to ask but was scared by the bloodshot eyes of the person she was trying to ask.
"Book!" was all the zombified person said. "*Ehem*, sorry, I got a little excited. How can this humble monk help you?"
"W-Well, I wanted to ask what was happening here" muttered Guizhon, still not used to the most random humans.
"A new pearl of knowledge has arrived from Inazuma" the 'monk' said. "It depicts 2 beings of undeniable beauty and elegance performing acts non-apt for kids younger than 12 years old, and as a 41-year-old wizard, it's my duty to study the new knowledge".
"hmm, okay" Guizhong quickly run out of there.
"Booook!" and the monk, now wizard, returned to his antics.
"In the end, Kenshin decided to sell this" mused Morax, not understanding Kenshin's actions, as always. "Isn't he at a loss here? That ink is expensive, and doing all those pictures takes a lot of it".
"Ye-"
"I got it!" the monk and wizard came out of the crowd. "Only 10M Mora for such a family heirloom!".
"He is not losing money, not at all" said Guizhong with a dark face. Her ink, the one she prepared carefully to help her friend, was used to depict women kissing. "He could at least have made one with men...."
Morax just looked calmly at her, wondering if years beside Kenshin had damaged her brain permanently.
"Guizhong, did you pack everything?" asked Morax.
"Of course!" Guizhong nodded excitedly. "I will bring Shenhe and Cloud Retainer with me".
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"Huehuehue" Lisa was looking at the short shopkeeper rubbing his hands and licking his lips. "Thunder Mistress, may I have a word?".
Seeing that Lisa was paying attention, he continued.
"We received new teaching from the God himself, and let me tell you, the horny is strong in this one"
"What is this?" a curious Lisa asked while looking at the curious book in the bookshop.
It depicted 2 beautiful women, one with pink hair and one with purple hair looking at each other with seriousness.
Lisa got curious because she had never seen such a realistic painting.
"!!" of course, the same moment she opened the book she found something she didn't expect.
"Such is the Divine Word" the main raised 2 fingers to the sky with a reverent expression.
"Well, this is amazing" admitted Lisa, not caring about this nutcase. "But is it really worth that much devotion?".
"Thunder Mistress, you underestimate me" the shopkeeper was angry seeing that. "I have seen works even the most degenerate people would have trouble digesting, something as tame as this wouldn't face me this much".
Lisa just looked curiously, used to the weird antics of people in this city.
"Only his most faithful apostle, me, can decipher the true meaning of such oracle" the shopkeeper started trembling in excitement. "This is but a promise, for things have only started. His Eminence will shower the world with pornog-"
"Thank you" Lisa interrupted with a smile. "I will pay attention to it". With that, she left the store. She still needed to pack some things.
"She wasn't ready" muttered the sad shopkeeper.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Hmm?" a tall man with grey hair and diamond-shaped pupils stopped in front of the new bookshop.
"Alhaitham?" his colleague and failed architect stopped, wondering what had caught if roommate's attention.
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Collei held the book in her hands and prayed.
She was grateful to whoever it was made this guide.
She felt a new door opening.
And Amber in Mondstadt shivered.
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And a certain puppet with a wide hat also saw the book.
He looked at the book in astonishment.
He now knew that his mother had a girlfriend.
I know a lot of peopel is extraordinarily squeamish about the whole yuri thing. NO NTR OR YURI IS TO BE FOUND IN THIS FIC
Just take it as a heavy joke that Yae and Ei consider a nuisance, there was nothing 'heavy' in the books.
But...this book will have consequences for Kenshin.