/ Fantasy / My Kingdom Building System
My Kingdom Building System
Peringkat tidak cukup
Ringkasan
[QUEST: The Beggar from Another World]
[Beg 10 times: 0/10]
[Rewards: Old Rusty Sword]
"Huh, what am I supposed to do with that sword? Dig my own grave? Then you better give me a shovel." The beggar said jokingly.
[The quest has still not been accepted]
[The reward changed]
[New reward: Old Rusty Shovel]
"Hey, hey, hey! I was joking. And why did you gave me a Rusty Shovel? I meant a new one!"
[Ding]
[The quest has been automatically accepted]
"System! You bully people far too much!"
["..."]
"Ahh! I guess I can only complete this quest, so that I can receive new quests."
The beggar walked down the street and approached one middle aged man.
"Excuse me."
"Get away from here!" The man took a broom ready to chase the beggar away.
"Sigh!" The beggar lowered his head. "It's really hard to live as a beggar.
But how can I give up? A whole kingdom needs to be build and it would definitely not build itself."
tagar
Penggemar
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Hadiah
-- Hadiah diterima Status Power Mingguan
-- Peringkat
Power 
-- Power
stone Anda Mungkin Juga Menyukai
8Ulasan-ulasan
- Kualitas penulisan
- Stabilitas Pembaruan
- Pengembangan Cerita
- Desain Karakter
- Latar Belakang Dunia
Bagikan pikiran Anda dengan orang lain
Tulis ulasan
The character has a goal, he completes tasks smartly and the system is not silly and gives a lot of bonuses It is terrifying for the wife to appear as the bossy one over the husband
I have read till chapter 18 here what I observed is everything is good except when mc acts like a retard every now and then for example when he gets extremely scared everytime something happens to the system and he beats or abuses people if don't listen to him or there answers are not good enough for him i.e. intelligence wise mc is totally trash.
Sorry but the mc and characters Are really boring to read about you instantly dislike most characters in the story and there is no cohersion throughout.
9/10 i would have liked more in depth about the begging but hey your writing gets better with every chapter if you redid the first 3 chapter with you current skills the writting would be way better
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Jilid 1 : Otherworldly Nolan
- 1 Transmigrating into Another World 1 years ago
- 2 First Quest Completed 1 years ago
- 3 Repeatable Quest (1) 1 years ago
- 4 Repeatable Quest (2) 1 years ago
- 5 Quest: Revenge 1 years ago
- 6 Captured 1 years ago
- 7 Bet With the System 1 years ago
- 8 The Fallen Noble 1 years ago
- 9 Robbing 1 years ago
- 10 Business with a Slave Trader 1 years ago
- 11 Recipes 1 years ago
- 12 Subdue the Beggars 1 years ago
- 13 Stephany 1 years ago
- 14 Subdued the Beggars 1 years ago
- 15 Sudden Changes 1 years ago
- 16 The Restaurant 1 years ago
- 17 Careless Decision 1 years ago
- 18 Old Enemies 1 years ago
- 19 Trouble (1) 1 years ago
- 20 Trouble (2) 1 years ago
- 21 Material Gathering (1) 1 years ago
- 22 Material Gathering (2) 1 years ago
- 23 Bonosus Calvus 1 years ago
- 24 Underground Organizations (1) 1 years ago
- 25 Underground Organizations (2) 1 years ago
- 26 Golden Horse Hut (1) 1 years ago
- 27 Golden Horse Hut (2) 1 years ago
- 28 Returning to the Village 1 years ago
- 29 I Want to See Blood (1) 1 years ago
- 30 I Want to See Blood (2) 1 years ago
- 31 Forgiveness 1 years ago
- 32 Fate Deciding Tavern 1 years ago
- 33 Old Acquaintance 1 years ago
- 34 Brutus 1 years ago
- 35 Guard No.3 1 years ago
- 36 The Heart of Black Rose Organization 1 years ago
- 37 Dragon Spear 1 years ago
- 38 Internal Energy 1 years ago
- 39 End of The Calvus Family 1 years ago
- 40 The Frye Noble Family 1 years ago
- 41 The South Prison of Womvale City 1 years ago
- 42 Pantoran, The Mad Scientist 1 years ago
- 43 Prison Break (1) 1 years ago
- 44 Prison Break (2) 1 years ago
- 45 Back to The Village 1 years ago
Jilid 2 : Village
- 46 Twenty Days Later 1 years ago
- 47 Preparations (1) 1 years ago
- 48 Preparations (2) 1 years ago
- 49 Preparations (3) 1 years ago
- 50 Ambush 1 years ago
- 51 Break Through The Ambush 1 years ago
- 52 Trap Against the Bandits (1) 1 years ago
- 53 Trap Against the Bandits (2) 1 years ago
- 54 Rewards 1 years ago
- 55 Supplies 1 years ago
- 56 You Are Beautiful 1 years ago
- 57 Quest 4: Blacksmith and Doctor 1 years ago
- 58 Black Rose Organization is Asking for Help 1 years ago
- 59 Dark Figure 1 years ago
- 60 Information Network 1 years ago
- 61 Eleanor Riddle 1 years ago
- 62 Quest: Underground Information Network 1 years ago
- 63 Dolion 1 years ago
- 64 Star Street 1 years ago
- 65 Nael 1 years ago
- 66 Fight in The Restaurant 1 years ago
- 67 True Feelings 1 years ago
- 68 Leaving The City 1 years ago
- 69 Pack of Wolves 1 years ago
- 70 Confession 1 years ago
- 71 Healing 1 years ago
- 72 Atlas Blackforge 1 years ago
- 73 Secret Passage 1 years ago
- 74 Saving The Noblewoman 1 years ago
- 75 Montague Noble Family 1 years ago
- 76 Nael's Punishment 1 years ago
- 77 Edwin Montague 1 years ago
- 78 Unexpected Fight 1 years ago
- 79 Negotiations (1) 1 years ago
- 80 Negotiations (2) 1 years ago
- 81 The Beggars vs The Viper Organization 1 years ago
- 82 The Map of Womvale City 1 years ago
- 83 Business Plans 1 years ago
- 84 Traitor? 1 years ago
- 85 Grand Plan 1 years ago
- 86 Sending Supplies To The Village 1 years ago
- 87 Twenty Days Later 1 years ago
- 88 The Restaurant On Star Street 1 years ago
- 89 Opening The Restaurant 1 years ago
- 90 Event 1 years ago
- 91 Spy's Message 1 years ago
- 92 The Plan 1 years ago
- 93 Bad Feeling 1 years ago
- 94 What Happened? 1 years ago
- 95 Ten Days Ago 1 years ago
- 96 Life Potion 1 years ago
- 97 The Second Floor 1 years ago
Hi author, I would like to tell you that so far (cap14) you are doing a good job. I am not an expert, but I would like to give my opinion. You seem to want to write a fairly inteligent character, however, he lacks insight, he has not yet asked for much information about the world where he has arrived, such as the name of the place where he lives and a map, it would also be interesting if he asked the system for information about what he can do (since when he talks to it he usually responds). You also wrote that he was good at most of the things he did before, it would be better to specify at what level though (basic, intermediate, advanced). As a suggestion to add to the statics, "Perception" would be interesting. The quality of the writing is an 8.5/10, there are some errors now and then, but it is quite easy to follow the thread. As a story I like the idea and I hope you will be able to improve it ,make it co-revealing to the reader and obviously climb the rankings. I hope you won't abandon the novel because, in my opinion, it has potential. Good luck.
Membuka SPOILER