"Who owns this ship?" I demanded.
"You do!" the tortured Elite Ship Master moaned, "You do. Please… just kill me!"
With an incendiary Warp, I grant his wish like the benevolent goddess I am.
"I never thought that I would ever feel sympathy for the Covenant," Captain Keyes stated, "but knowing that the USNC has hired her and her husband to fight this war changes things."
"I am greatly disturbed." agreed the Master Chief.
"Before there was ignorance, now there is understanding." Linda spoke, "I hope understanding comes quickly to the Covenant forces everywhere."
"Harsh." John said and led the captured marines and Captain out of the vessel.
"That was an impressive showing." Linda said as she closed the distance between us.
"Want to give the floating throne a try?" I grinned under my helmet, "Maybe add a nice fur cloak to your look?"
"I don't think purple and green are a good combo." Linda denied.
"In some parts of the multiverse those are fighting words with a guy that can shatter planets with his fists." I chuckled thinking about the possibility of Grunt and the Incredible Hulk duking it out.
I can already hear him shouting 'Please stop, I can only become so erect!' if I brought that up with him.
"The multiverse?" She asked.
"I'll fill you in on the drive back." I smirked.
"Let me know if you need another trip to time out." I chuckled while Major Silva glared at me.
"Major, stay civil." Captain Keyes ordered, "I've seen what this woman is capable of. Any attempts to antagonize her will see you brought up on charges."
"You can't be serious, Sir?" Silva gaped hearing that.
"I put it on the level of tampering with a nuclear device." Keyes stared the man down.
"Okay. With that out of the way we have several OPs to plan." Keyes began the war room session and assigned the Spartans to collect the Silent Cartographer, a map of the installation, under one of the islands dotting the ring world. He would be leading a team of marines to a 'weapons cache'.
"Alright, pump the breaks." I told him, "The 'weapons cache' is bullshit. It is where the Flood were being researched in an attempt to create countermeasures against possible Flood invasion from darkspace. The Covies have already released the flood and should have locked the area down, but we shouldn't hold out hope on that holding. Which means it is HazCom from here on out and we need flamethrowers ready to go to burn away swarming flood forms. Remember that these things are also airborne, but far less effective in that form."
"How exactly did you come by this intelligence?" Keyes questioned.
"My husband has an approximate knowledge of many things." I said, "I am here because of that. The stakes are too high for us to just trust that MC John will be able to make it happen off of faith, trust, and pixie dust."
"Some people call that luck." Linda said.
"Yeah, but in our experience plot armor goes out the window when we enter the verse." I sighed.
It would be pretty sweet to just be able to kick back, relax and command the bitches in the X-Force to do all the heavy lifting, but Grunt just insisted that I should go on another adventure and have fun while he does the administrative work this time. I personally think he just doesn't want to live in another organization with so many dicks hanging out.
"So we pray the Flood stays contained, but be ready to fight them." I ordered, "John and Linda will make sure this Halo Ring doesn't get fired."
"And what will you be doing." Keyes asked.
"I am going to clear out the Pillar of Autumn and get it ready for you to use it as an improvised WMD to destroy this Ring. Everyone else will be getting everything possible ready for EVAC." I answered.
"Our forces have managed to raid the Autumn for equipment, vehicles, and supplies, but Covenant presence in the area is still in the area." Silva stated.
"By the time I am done with them the crash site of the Pillar of Autumn will be a scar so deeply carved into their racial memories that future generations of Covies will wake up at night in terror of it." I spoke, then put on my helmet and walked out to get my car."
"Holy shit, she is scary." I heard Captain Keyes gasp after I left.
Roughly 16 hours later Chief and Linda showed up in a pair of stolen Banshees, flying over broken bodies of the Covenant and the Flood that tried to take over the corpse of the Pillar of Autumn and the smoking wreckage of enemy vehicles including a massive Scarab heavy excavator turned super tank.
"What the fuck took you people?" I called out as I sat on top of a dead Elite Ultra.
"Captain Keyes and Major Silva attempted to retake the Truth and Reconciliation to use as our escape vessel, but the place was infested with Flood and Keyes ultimately chose to crash the ship rather than allow it the chance of escaping with the Flood on Board. We were the only survivors."
"Neat." I responded, "So how are we getting this vessel to go critical?"
"Explosive force directly applied to the fusion engine will cause it to destabilize." John answered.
"Cool." I nodded, "I've got my car parked in the Longsword still docked, so once we do that we haul ass and take that ship into space."
Watching the Halo Ring blow was something special. All that power stopped by us. I guess this is why Grunt wanted me on this mission, aside from the fact that I look human and he looks alien.
We ended up killing the engines on the Longsword when a Covenant scout fleet came into the area. A nearby Pelican containing survivors from the blast; however, activated its engines and Cortana took remote control of both vessels and executed a slingshot maneuver using a nearby moon's gravity.
The two ships docked and Sargent Johnson came aboard with three people that I am sure are important to somebody somewhere.
We loaded their ship up with mines and Cortana piloted it and deployed the mines in the direction of the pursuing fleet. The explosions caused enough of a distraction for us to board the flagship, The Ascendant Justice, and insert our AI into the systems to depressurize the ship, killing everyone on board not wearing full space suits. We did end up killing one Elite up in the bridge, and Cortana launched us into Slipspace with the destination of Reach as suggested by her partner John.
I used my Quantum Entanglement Communication Device to let Grunt know where we were going.
"Good." he chuckled, "I've been keeping an eye on the planet and think we can take the leftover cleanup forces."
When we exited slip space we saw a fleet of twenty black battleships with red Xs painted on them engaging the leftover Covenant ships and absolutely shredding them. Grunt's plan to hit a Covenant dry dock and retrofit facility had obviously paid off in the form of new ships and the massively upped armor, engines, and weapon systems sported by his vessels.
"You better have sent a bill for this battle." I told him over our comms line.
"Of course babe." he laughed, "Do you think this is amateur hour. We'll get the salvage and a fat payday for our efforts. I'd never miss the chance to double dip."
We met Grunt planet side when he stepped off his ship with his new Spartan lover Kat. It took me a moment to recognize the upgrade to her prosthetic arm because of the slimmer profile but when I did I just shook my head.
"You gave her a Saren arm." I chuckled.
"Dude was mad, but had sick taste in robot arms." Grunt grinned.
"He made you something not meant to destroy his enemies or drive fast." I told the girl, "It must really be love."
"Oh no." Kat denied then used her arm to turn a piece of nearby rubble into smaller rubble, "It is very much meant to destroy enemies."
I saw her shaking her robot hand as if to relieve pain.
"Going to have to get used to the full nervous system integration." she mumbled.
"You made it so she can feel pain with her robot arm?" I looked at my giant husband.
"And everything else." He smiled, "Anyway. Wife, this is my new lover Kat. Kat, this is my wife, Jack."
"Nice to meet you Kat." I said, "Now I'd like you to meet my new lover, Linda."
Before Linda could say anything for herself Grunt and I participated in a crisp high five.
"You people are so weird." Kat sighed.
Not much to say on this one. We are moving through First Strike content then will be on to Halo 2.
If you want to support me and my family you can do so at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
"I hate to break up this touching moment between a State sanctioned mad scientist and the children she kidnapped and performed SCIENCE on, but it would be enormously negligent of me to not point out that we have a Slipspace crystal that puts out intense radiation that the Covenant can track and very much want, a falling apart Covie battleship, and some world shattering bombs made by the Vice Admiral." I nodded to Danforth Whitcomb, "These all make for a rather delicious Trojan horse opportunity against the Unyielding Hierophant station and the massive fleet of five hundred ships the Hierarchs intend to invade Earth with."
"Five hundred ships!" Danforth gasped, "They only needed three hundred to overcome Reach."
Reach was the human's fortress world amidst the sea of stars, only second in protection to the earth itself.
"Yep." I grinned, "And we are going to wipe them out. Damn shame too. The whole fleet is commanded by Brutes, it'd be nice if I could flip them, but that is going to keep getting harder and harder as Tartarus and Truth get closer to their plans to replace the Elites with the Brutes."
"The Covenant is close to civil war?" The Chief inquired.
"They are always close to civil war." I chuckled, "The growth of the X-Force is proof of that, but from what I understand, Truth wants a warrior caste less likely to figure out his bullshit."
"Gentlemen," the Vice Admiral spoke up, "if there is a way to verify this information then we need to move on it ASAP."
"The War Chief's story checks out, Vice Admiral." Answered Cortana, "I picked up Covenant communication that confirms the assembly of the fleet at the Unyielding Hierophant."
"Understood, Cortana." Danforth nodded his head, "I believe I have a ship to pilot."
Danforth taking the Ascendant Justice solo and destroying the fleet is what makes Halo great. Regular badasses like him and Captain Keyes are like a fine perfume sprayed onto shining glory that is the Master Chief saving the galaxy… again. I also appreciate that I would bill the USNC for using my plan to achieve such a staggering victory and for cleaning up the survivors with my X-Force fleet.
It was very good to be paid for all my hard work.
Not that I was working very hard these days. I logic plagued a captured Covie AI into becoming my Jarvis and we slaved a bunch of other AIs to him turning my Jarvis into a terrifying AI hydra or octopus or Cthulhu. You get the picture, Jarvis had a lot of interdependent limbs performing lots of different tasks for me. All of which revolved around the various forms of twentieth and and twenty first century entertainment I kept demanding the USNC include in my payments.
I am pretty sure they believe I am full crazy and in charge of one of the most effective fighting forces in the galaxy, which means I have them right where I want them.
One might realize that I now have Dr. Halsey at hand and the most powerful AI around, a recipe for all kinds of incredible military science advances. I am pretty sure I could have a batch of Spartan Brutes by November, but that would require me to pull Jarvis off of our true goal, turning all the great video games of my youth into four player action adventure games with RPG features meant to provide enhanced options rather than tacked on bullshit.
Brothers, the flames of your envy warm me from all across the multiverse.
Linda would ultimately need to leave with the rest of the Spartans to return to Earth and the bullshit that would prevent her from being a part of Halo 2, but we'd see each other again soon enough.
After the major losses sustained because of Operation: First Strike, numerous high value targets opened up for raiding, and our top of the line Slipspace drives would ensure we got to hit the best of them before the Battle of Earth even started. What's more, in the wake of the Covies losing such a massive space station and a fleet of five hundred vessels, employment with the X-Force never looked more appealing.
All the non Elite forces we encountered during our raiding immediately surrendered and were wooed with our promises of dental insurance, better equipment, and a chill corporate culture that vastly contrasted the violence enforced degrading caste system of the Covenant.
The idea of all of us getting rich together through jolly cooperation was revolutionary to these people.
It also helped that I was making all these moves in the endgame. Truth is locked into his plans, and closing in on the goal. He doesn't care about a guy leading a splinter faction growing stronger every day, because he plans to close the year off firing the Halo Arrays while a small flotilla of the members of his species loyal only to him wait it out on a Forerunner Shield World so they can be the kings of the ashes.
What does it matter if I go from twenty to sixty ships in a month, and all those ships can punch above their weight class. Once he gets a human finger on the reset button he wins.
Like I'd ever let some crippled ET looking mother fucker pick up a W against me.
With a few factors on High Charity setting up bugs to track any Slipspace coordinates it uses, I'd have no problem chasing them to Installation 05 and attacking after Tarturus kicks off the betrayal of the Elites and before the ass hat has a chance to install the Index and get the rings ready to fire.
"Alright people." I spoke over the fleet's Quantum Entanglement Communicators, appearing as a giant projection in the bridge of all of my many ships, "It's time we end the Prophets and the bullshit they have been feeding us for centuries. When we exit Slipspace we hit High Charity with everything we have. We don't stop till the city is nothing but ash and slag and then we do the same to the Halo Ring. While the fleet is destroying High Charity, I'll be leading a strike team to the control center of the Ring where I'll feed Tartarus his own testicles and prove once and for all that War Chief Grax is the undisputed champion of the Brutes!"
I don't know how the rest of the fleet took it, but the Brutes on the bridge of my flagship, The Fellowship, lost their minds in savage joy.
We began our bombardment of the city rapidly being overrun by the Flood without hesitation, firing our plasma cannons in an attempt to turn the 'Holy City' into a furnace that would burn the Flood and the Covenant together. I had delivered standing orders to ignore the Forerunner Dreadnought, the Anodyne Spirit, as we wouldn't have near enough time to drop its prodigious defenses before it would enter Slipspace for it's journey to Earth, but all other outbound vessels were to be destroyed.
I loaded onto a custom Armored Assault Ship for the flight down to the Halo Ring with Jack, Kat, and Carter. Fortunately the control center was so readily visible, and we had little trouble tearing through the Banshees patrolling the area to arrive at the locked doors.
I didn't need to steal a Scarab to get through the doors, not when a minute spent under my hot breath reduced them to molten slag.
"Tartarus, come out and playay!" I called into the facility where the Chieftain of the Brutes hand barely made it to the end of the entry area.
"The creature that masquerades as Grax!" Tartarus spat, "You will not stop the Great Journey!"
"Oh how spicy." I chuckled, "Did you figure that out for yourself or did you need your pal, Truth, to explain that the guy with lizard skin and horns on his head isn't a Brute?"
"I figured it out on my own!" He shouted defensively and the warriors alongside his looked at him while pressing X hard on their gamepads.
"Listen." I spoke, "All of you. Tartarus dies today. The only question is if you all die with him. Surrender and I will let you join the winning team, or fight. The choice is yours, but the outcome will always be my win."
"Hey. Fuck you, Grax!" One of them shouted in a New Jersey accent.
"What is your name?" I shouted back.
"Tonius!" He barked back.
"Fuck you Tonius!" I yelled and the firefight was on.
Tartarus tried to flee and complete his mission, but that was a ridiculous notion considering how greatly I outclassed the guy in speed and how poorly his pack brothers performed in halting my progress. Tartarus had barely left the room before I whacked his leg with the Hammer of Might, cruelly snapping his knee.
Poor Miss Keyes screamed when the white furred Brute's hand spasmed from the pain and crushed her shoulder. I saved her from further injury by sparking up my glowing orange plasma axe and taking the offending hand off.
Tartarus screamed as he activated his Invincibility shielding but all it bought him was time spent under the gravity pull of my hammer, a pull that carried with it the stamina draining magic of Volendrung's original enchantment. When his shielding finally dropped the Chieftain was gasping and shaking in fatigue.
I pulled a sharp dagger out of its sheath on my chest.
"I made a promise to my soldiers, Tartarus." I grinned as I grasped his balls and he feebly tried to pry my hand away, "And I can't have myself becoming a liar."
I placed his man purse and jewels into his gaping maw as he screamed in agony and unleashed a terrible uppercut to his chin, fulfilling my oath as he choked on his genitals.
I watched the light leave his beady red eyes after he failed to dislodge his sack from his windpipe and knew that my work was good.
"Alright, people, we are done here." I stated as Jack walked up with the Spartan III's in tow, "Let's get this woman on the ship and to some medical attention. We'll glass this place after the fleet finishes with High Charity, containing the Flood and preventing this installation from ever being fired."
I love it when keikaku comes together.
I won't be able to post tomorrow, as I will be working from the evening till Saturday morning, my prime writing hours.
I'd like you all to give a big round of applause for KroganWarlord, who has joined SeekingRaven and MrBadGuy17 as a donor and all around cool and handsome guy.
*You too can increase your coolness and charisma by donating at
ko - fi . com / jmanm
*This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
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