Bab 63: Double McGuffin Fakeout

"It's go time, baby." Cole stated as the elevators reached the Hollow, a system of tunnels dug out by near mythical creatures known as Riftworms.

10 miles long and half a mile wide, the Riftworms burrowed the numerous tunnels through the crust of Sera, and their feces spawned the various subterranean species of this hardcore planet. The Locust Horde worshipped the three known Riftworms as gods, their religion called the Trinity of Worms. From the shit of the great worms all life on Sera rose up, including the imulsion.

That liquid fungi was the source of the planet's greatness and its pain. Imulsion makes for some mean fuel, and like all great resources, wars are fought over it. The Coalition of Organized Governments and the Union of Independent Republics launched an eighty year war that claimed millions of lives over the stuff, all the while it infected the people until it created the lethal disease, Rustlung. On the road to the cure the amoral science team created the Sires, which they used to create the Locust, who would eventually evolve into a hive mind race called the Scions because the scientist who made them went full god complex and coded them to be able to survive extinction events by rapidly adapting and overcoming the threat.

Its like the fucking krogan on steroids, and I now had that power five times over.

Me gusta.

Basically the Locust needed to be wiped out violently, because if someone tried to Genophage them they'd be over it within twenty five years, not the thousand it took the krogan. That is why the Lightmass Offensive is so important, not just because humanity is losing, but because the longer the conflict lasts the stronger the Locust become.

"Grunt." Marcus called me over, "You, me, and Dom are going to clear the path ahead while Cole and Baird defend the Resonator."

"Nice." Baird and Cole high fived over not having to do jack shit for now.

"Fuck, man." Dom cursed, "Being underground like this gives me the creeps."

"It helps when you can see in the dark and have over a hundred years of memories navigating this place." I told him.

"How the fuck does that work exactly?" Dom questioned me as we marched.

"Basically, my species can get so drunk and fuck so good that reality can't handle it. Gapes open its sphincter and shits us out somewhere else so it doesn't have to deal with our mind blowing sexual prowess." I explained. "We adapt to the new universe by eating whoever we land on."

"That sounds like absolute bullshit." He countered.

"Some guys explode, combust, flat line, or just pass out, but the rare few become interdimensional gods who can rend reality itself with their cocks. That's what happened to me by the way. Unless this is the afterlife and I blew up on top of Jack."

"Okay." Dom sighed, "Say I accept that you have the ultra cock of destiny, why is Jack here too."

"She's half the equation, dude." I told him, "A man can't do his best work unless he has a hellcat in the sack with him."

"I have trouble getting it up when they are all crying and shit." Marcus grumbled.

"Why the fuck are the people sleeping with you crying, dude?" Dom cocked his head at his partner.

"I'm a warrior, Dom." Marcus answered.

A terrified shiver went up my spine as I looked at the ex-inmate. Maybe Hoffman was right to leave this guy in prison. No, he was definitely right.

Fortunately the pair of them slipped on a shallow stream of water moving down the side of the tunnel and took a ride down the slope like a waterslide.

"Incoming!" I yelled as they scrambled to get away in time.

"God damnit." Marcus grunted and activated his short range radio, "Baird, we hit a problem. You and Cole are going to have to find an alternate route."

"I could get us back up pretty easy." I told him.

"How?" Marcus asked.

"I'd carry you." I answered.

"Yeah, Baird, you definitely need to find that alternate route." Marcus radioed again.

As we walked ahead I saw a weak point in the floor.

"Collapse risk up ahead." I said as I stopped.

"You say something, Grunt? Dom asked as he continued ahead and collapsed the floor.

"Dom!" Marcus screamed and then dived in after him.

"Head first!" I shouted, "Why?"

After the sound of beefy guys bouncing around stone walls stopped I yelled down to them.

"Ya'll still alive?"

"Nah. We're dead." Dom snarked.

"If you don't move over you soon will be!" I yelled then jumped down the tunnel myself.

"Fuck traveling with you guys is a blast." I told them.

"Yeah, everything about this mission has been just so much fun." Marcus's tone dripped with sarcasm.

"Got you out of prison." Dom noted.

"That it did." Marcus nodded.

The path forward led us to an imulsion lake. Why the hell these people fought a war over this shit is mind boggling. It is fucking everywhere down here.

From our left came the thunderous pounding of a full grown Corpser moving through the tunnels.

"Ah, fuck." Marcus growled.

"No worries, I got this." I grinned as I took up the Hammer of Might.

"Dude, that thing is going to take a whole lot more than your edgy sledgehammer to take down." Dom stated coolly.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." I smirked then charged the big spider centipede hybrid monster.

My demon powered warhammer met the scaly hide of the Corpse in a deafening collision that caused the beast to real back.

"That all you got you big bitch!" I shouted and hit it again, this time causing it to flee.

"Damn thing is smarter than most." I commented when I got back to the gaping maws of Marcus and Dom.

"Did that just happen?" Dom asked in shock.

"Yeah." I told him, "I do shit like this all the time."

A bit farther down the tunnel we saw Baird and Cole across the imulsion lake.

"Sun is coming up soon!" Marcus shouted, "Let's get moving with that Resonator!"

We came upon a more developed section of the tunnels and heard the hissing 'Hostiles' of a Theron Guard alerting his teammates of our presence. They were holed up on a mining structure and just looking for the chance to bring those Torque Bows they trained with so much into play. Dumb bastards didn't know they were in a duel with the Torque Bow King.

I put an explosive arrow into the chest of one of the Guards when he leaned out of cover briefly and the fight was on. His upper torso blew into chunks all over the drones he was leading, lowering their moral and making them easy pickings as they lost a key piece of their command structure. The others I outmaneuvered, knowing their steps and plays better than they ever could. They ate buckshot point blank wondering how the fuck I was so far ahead of them.

"Nice work, baby!" Cole shouted as he and Baird caught up to us.

The techy set up the Sonic Resonator to go off and map the tunnels for the attack while the rest of us worked on restoring power to a nearby lift.

"Am I the only one pissed that we didn't know about this fucking elevator shaft?" I asked, "We were some rope away from skipping all that walking."

"I am just happy we have an easy way out." Dom reminded us to be thankful.

We made it out to the surface to see the sun rise before the Resonator went off and unleashed a blue wave of sound that travelled throughout the tunnels and blew us off our asses.

"Holy shit!" I said as I got up, "The fuck were we going to do if that elevator wasn't there."

Not that anyone could hear me as their ears were all ringing.

Marcus reported our success and just after the team collapsed in weary heaps Colonel Hoffman radioed it to tell us the resonator didn't accomplish jack shit. It was a boondoggle!

Then Baird revealed that he found some other McGuffin to deliver us from this sticky situation. It was a double McGuffin Fakeout.

Classic Baird.

PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM

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Bab 64: Training Day

I got to ride in a helicopter. That was nice. I barely fit even though the King Ravens were built for delivering big boys to where they needed to do their big boy business and the Locust were damn set on blowing us up with their weird flying inking bio-bombs called Nemacysts. Because of my wide field of view and quite frankly insane hand eye coordination and reaction times, I had no problems protecting both gunships but we ended up landing in front of the East Barricade Academy rather than our objective, the Fenix Estate.

Some people might be miffed by having to hoof it after many hours of sustained combat operation, and I certainly was until our fireteams were set upon by a Berserker in the academy conservatory. Ten feet tall, full of muscle, with skin hard enough to survive sustained small arms fire, it was a deathmatch made in heaven.

We ran right at each other while the Gears hurriedly backed away. She was fast and bigger than me, but had no idea how to fight a being that could overpower her. She tried to truck me like she would anything else and I shot for the single leg takedown, ripping her off the ground with ease and slamming her into the conservatory floor. She weighed a ton, but I could lift her and seven of her sisters if they were kind enough to hold hands for me.

She had no idea how to grapple and I locked in an Americana with ease, internally twisting her arm off at the shoulder with the help of her struggling. The exploding of her powerful shoulder joint echoed loudly as I switched to raining down punches on the weakened foe. She had more than enough strength to throw me off, but I kept her locked tight with my thighs and she didn't know how to calmly counter my wrestling beyond savagely trying to force her way out of my control.

I quickly realized that even with my strength, I couldn't strike her hard enough to damage her head. She was too tough and built wiyh traps that enveloped her head entirely, so I reached for the hammer slung to my hip and pulled Volendrung from its ring mount. Outside of the Elder Scrolls verse, the power I gained from the stars was greatly diminished but was still there, which means Volendrung struck with more than just mean physics, she came down with magically enhanced armor penetration.

I pounded her head like a stake that refused to drive down until her skull completely collapsed. With the hammer's enchantment still in effect I felt fresh as a daisy despite the concerted violent effort.

"Grunt. Grunt. Grunt. Grunt!" Cole started chanting and soon had all the Gears joining in.

I stood and raised my hands as if to elevate the adoration of the gathered thicc bois.

"Thank you, thank you." I graciously accepted their praise, "My friends, and you are my friends. Today we have participated and spectated the good violence. As now, as it ever has been, we are grateful to our enemy for delivering herself to this holy communion, this sacrament of blood. May it never end, Amen."

"I would actually prefer it to end." One of the the helmeted 'red shirt' gears stated, "Isn't that why we are delivering the Lightmass Bombs to the Hollow? To kill the grubs and achieve peace."

"Cease your heresy, boy!" I shouted, "Abandon reason. Know only war!"

"Damn son." Cole stated, "Sign me the fuck up. I felt the spirit move me baby! The spirit of WAR!"

The Fenex estate was only a short distance from the academy, but the Locust made us fight for every inch of the house and kept popping up out of fresh emergence tunnels constantly. Slowly but surely the red shirts died. They gave their lives so that Marcus and Dom could download data on the Hollow Dr. Fenix was gathering and Baird could fix an armored personnel carrier parked in the backyard of the estate while under fire. The man does fine work under pressure.

With the data in hand we had little problem loading up into the APC and taking off for our next destination. A fucking train.

They wanted to deliver their last hope for victory on a mode of transport a handful of jackasses with horses could rob.

It is times like these I am glad that I am a giant lizard man. I do not claim these idiots as my own.

In a stunning display of being one step ahead, the Locust had raised a bridge on our route to the train, preventing our way forward.

Marcus called the obstruction into mission control and she advised them to restore power to the sector to lower the bridge.

"Or, I could save us a whole bunch of bullshit and break the drawing mechanisms on each side." I told them, "It's not like there is priority traffic going up and down this river anymore."

"That sounds way better than us fucking around for hours trying to make this happen." Baird agreed.

Five minutes later I dropped the first half of the bridge and got a running leap that got my to the other side where I performed an identical delicate precision hammer smashing to connect the bridge and get us to the train station.

The Locust were, surprise surprise, waiting for us at the station. With this level of superiority in troup positioning and enemy prediction it was no wonder the Locusts were kicking the shit out of the humans. They are constantly three steps ahead of everyone and without the for wargods comprising Delta Team this whole species would be fucked. They didn't even have the excuse of these guys being super soldiers encased in the most advanced tech in the galaxy, Delta just managed to shoot the enemy while not getting shot back better than anyone I had ever seen.

As we slayed grubs to kill time, Anya kept us up to date on the COG forces failing to keep the train through the Locust attack and how we would now be leaping onto the train as it passed through the station so that we could take back the last hope for victory against the Locust. Which the humans failed to protect. Because they put it on a train. Fucking retards.

We'd managed to kill all the local grubs by the time the train arrived making the jump fairly easy, and in the confines of the freight train the grubs had nowhere to run from me and my hammer. I picked up my second berserker kill with greater ease than the first as I didn't bother giving her any kind of fair fight.

Cole and Baird manned a pair of mounted machine guns to defend us from the huge flying squids the Locust had bio-engineered and saddled, while Marcus, Dom, and I continued to the front of the train and encountered the fucking Lambent that had somehow managed to get on the god damn train as well in the form of infected wretches.

The Lambent aren't even intelligent and they were capable of attacking humanity's last great hope. Where the fuck is Falcon when you need him to yell as someone to do better. It may have felt completely forced and cringy in his tv show, but Colonel Hoffman needs someone to scream that at him constantly. His operation has been a shit show start to finish.

At least RAAM showed up to distract me from my disappointment. 10 feet tall in some sick black armor with powers over the kyrll that make no fucking sense, the guy emerged on the scene in an entrance that would make Batman green with envy. He rested his double barrel machine gun on his shoulder and drew his serrated sword when he saw me walking at him with my hammer in hand.

"You dare to approach me?" He rasped out.

"I can't kick your ass without getting closer." I responded.

"Then come as close as you like." He hissed as we walked at each other with measured steps and loads of Jojo swagger.

"The fuck is going on?" Marcus asked his pal.

"I don't know, but it feels like that was the most badass line ever." Dom answered.

When I got close enough his swarm of kryll tried mauling me and failing, some of them landing on me and scraping their fangs ineffectually against my skin.

"Your pets can't seem to get a good taste." I chuckled before slugging the Locust General in the guts.

He coughed and then rose up to slug me in the guts.

We went back and forth like this, increasing the strength of our punches while train traveled to its doom.

"Why are they punching each other?" Dom asked in confusion, "They have weapons in their other hand, why aren't they using them."

"Dom." Marcus stated, "You haven't spent any time institutionalized so you probably don't understand what is happening. This isn't about winning and losing, or the fate of the world. What we are seeing is the perfect combustion of manly souls."

"The fuck?" Dom snapped his head at his friend in confusion.

"It's fucking beautiful." Marcus choked up.

RAAM collapsed to his knees when my strike broke his ribs, signaling his defeat. He looked me in the eyes and nodded when I smashed his head into a paste with Volendrung.

With time to spare, Marcus inputted the targeting data and we dipped on a King Raven that had already picked up Baird and Cole.

"Is that the body of General RAAM?" Colonel Hoffman looked down in awe at the corpse I held in the belly of his gunship.

"Fuck yeah it is." grinned Baird.

"What are you going to do with it?" Dom asked me.

"Eat it." I grinned.

I never miss a chance at red meat.

PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM

I nearly had an asthema attack while at work today. I am sure it was real good for moral to see the boss hunched over coughing his lungs out in the middle of a respatory plague.

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