Bab 8: Haestrom
"I have genuine concerns about this mission." I said during the brief.
"You have the floor, Grunt." The Commander graciously ceded the floor to me.
"How the fuck did the quarians land a team on a geth militarized world?" I asked the obvious question.
"While it is unknown how the geth have managed to operate in the system, all long range communications and detection methods are made impossible by the unstable sun's emissions. Even ships with only moderate stealth capabilities can completely avoid standard detection protocols." the Normandy's AI, EDI, answered.
"So all the stations and fortresses the geth built up on Haestrom are worthless?"
"Entirely." Determined EDI.
"So we aren't going to be swarmed by geth like we were the collectors?" I questioned, "Even if we encounter them, they can't call in reinforcements via their hive mind?"
"No. Local forces will be able to communicate with each other over very short ranges, but will essentially be comms down."
"This system seems like a waste for both the geth and the quarians." I mused, "Garrus should feel right at home though."
"The constant radiation bombardment will feel just like Palavin." Garrus agreed.
The briefing ended soon after that and Joker had no problems launching our shuttle on target. Stepping out onto Haestrom felt entirely different from Horizon. One was a low gravity breadbasket paradise, and the other a high gravity completely inhospitable wasteland. Almost as inhospitable as Tuchanka.
"Stick to the shadows, people." The Commander commanded us to avoid the UV light harsh enough to fry our shields and kill the squishier members of the fire teams in only a few hours of exposure. Garrus and I could get some mirrors and set up a nice tanning salon, but everyone else might object to us not helping them on this potentially (guaranteed) dangerous mission.
Fortunately, the quarians had a major stiffy for vertical construction and phallic monoliths, so shadows aplenty for us. Things were going great until we found a dead quarian and a deactivated geth unit in a still operating gate house. A recording left by the quarian let us know that the geth were on to the quarian infiltration team and Shepard dropped the obstructing metal gateway. A geth dropship had seen us coming in and left us a present while alerting the local geth forces to our presence. Combat with the semi sentient machine race ensued immediately.
The geth proved themselves far more worthy foes than the collectors, but lacked the numbers to even slow our advancement to a pace below a steady jog despite their better unit variety, weapons, and tactics. The battle was an entirely mid ranged fire fight in which we annihilated the opposition with a precision firing march. I noticed far less pep in my step running around on a world with twenty percent more gravitational pull than I was used to, but krogan strength mixed with my dedicated training of my core, hips, and knees prevented me from becoming fatigued by my heavy load.
Shepard stopped to talk to the leader of the quarian marines over a dropped radio, but Beta Team kept advancing and provided support to the quarian marines defending an underpass we needed to traverse to find our distressed quarian princess. When the dropship came back around to perform a strafing run, I'd already started pelting it with missiles from my ML-77 missile launcher. I felt intense satisfaction as the ship came down and the quarian marines survived what was otherwise a cutscene in the game. I wasn't being a hero, and I didn't even think I'd like these people, but it was nice to throw my narrative weight around. I wasn't some side character following a protagonist through her story. I was a man of agency.
"What are you people doing here?" A female marine demanded while pointing her rifle at me.
I pointed my missile launcher at her.
"Just shut the fuck up and radio your leader for the okay to let us through before I stop asking for permission and start asking Space Momma for forgiveness."
"Let them through." Kal'Reegar smartly commanded his dipshit marines.
"Good work, Grunt." Spoke a decloaking Shepard, "That was almost diplomatic."
"That was the krogan soft sell." I chuckled.
"Beta Team is going to hold this position while the quarian marines lead us to Tali." Shepard ordered and Kal'Reegar seconded.
Remember all that talk about being a man of agency? Right out the window.
Beta Team hunkered down and fought off the remaining units in the geth assault forces with ease. We were the heavy hitters of the Normandy's ground forces vs Alpha Team's spec ops leanings. Eventually we just ended up shooting the shit in the shade.
"I am curious about how your relationship with each other works" Garrus asked as we leaned against the massive concrete structures left behind by the quarians when they fled from the geth during the Morning War.
"Hoping to pick up tips for wooing Space Momma?" I countered with a chuckle.
"Didn't think I was that transparent about it." Garrus grunted.
"She got anyone from before the Lazarus project?" I asked him after taking my helmet off.
"No." Garrus denied, "I think Alenko and T'Soni both wanted something with her, but Alenko died on Virmire and she didn't reciprocate T'Soni's interest."
"Grunt mentioned wanting to go to Virmire." Jack interrupted, "What's it like?"
"Gorgeous." Garrus spoke with a hint of fondness in his double toned voice, "A virgin tropical paradise few worlds can match. We should spend a week or two vacationing there once we've smacked down the collectors."
"So you and the Commander." Jack brought us back to the thread.
"I've had it bad for her since she first recruited me to fight Saren." Garrus admitted, "At the time she was so firmly in the mentor position for me that I didn't feel comfortable pursuing anything with her. I'd hoped that there would be time for us after Saren was defeated, but we all know how that turned out." Garrus took a deep breath, "I feel like I've got this second chance, and I don't want to mess it up."
"Well, beyond letting her know you are interested, I don't think there is much you can do." I told the lovesick turian bluntly, "Space Momma seems like the type of woman who pursues, not the pursued. As long as she knows you're interested, she'll come to you if she feels the same."
"Don't be a pussy." Jack agreed.
"So I should just drop a classic, 'I like you. I want you.' and hope for the best." Garrus mused.
"Worked for me." I shrugged.
"Watching that work for you was like witnessing something from the mind of a mad man." Garrus jabbed verbally at me.
"Shepard and Jack are similar in a lot of ways." I said.
"The fuck you just say?" she said.
"You got a problem with being a badass space trekking superwoman? Cause Space Momma don't." I replied.
"I find it weird that you call her your Space Momma." Garrus commented, "But that can't be enough to say they are alike."
"They're both under a lot of pressure." I continued, "Shepard has the fate of the Galaxy, and Jack has the anchor of her past. Life hasn't let up on either of them, and you are going to be taking those blows too for as long as you stay with her."
"I already am." Garrus grunted.
"I know." I agreed.
"Damn Grunt. You sound like a pussy right now." Jack mocked me.
"Real talk usually sounds like some pussy shit." I laughed, "I'm not afraid of anything. So I don't care if I sound like a pussy."
"You saying I'm scared." Jack menaced.
"Wouldn't dream of it, babe." I folded.
"That's right." Jack just crossed her arms and looked away.
"Wtch!" Garrus mimed a whip with his hands.
"Only one of us is getting laid today, turian. You won the war, but I'm winning the peace." I pitied the fool.
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA 
JManM
JManM Late on this chapter's release. My brother and I ended up with food poisoning after a family dinner Friday, and I was completely exhausted by the time it passed. So I ended up having to write this chapter after the primed disappointemt of UFC 264. Wonder Boy paced himself like he was fighting a five round fight and lost a boring three round fight to Burns, then Connor snapped his ankle in what was looking like the fight of the year with Dustin. Hopefully this chapter soothes everyones souls.
Bab 9: Welcome Tali
"And I'd like everyone to give a big round of applause for the newest member of Beta Team, Tali!" Garrus spoke as he introduced Tali to the rest of us at the Beta Team dining table located in the cargo bay of the Normandy.
Only one set of hands joined him in his applause, but the thunderous clapping caused by the ridiculous ham hocks attached to my wrists made up for Jack and Zaeed being too cool for team spirit.
"What's got you so peppy?" Zaeed grunted in annoyance.
"Tali was on the team that took down Saren and saved the galaxy two years ago." I explained sagely, "You should be in awe."
"Where is all this respect when you are dealing with me?" Garrus cocked up with fake outrage, "I saved the galaxy too!"
"Yeah… but you did it looking all turian." I countered, "It's not your fault you're ugly, you just hail from an ugly species."
Watching the plates that make up Garrus's face pull apart to accommodate that jaw flooring mouth gape was too much for my boyish sense of humor not to break down laughing at.
"You, a krogan, are calling turians ugly?" Garrus shouted in disbelief, "We are the most handsome and noble species in the galaxy!"
"Let's cut this topic off before interspecies warfare starts." Tali cut in and Garrus, shrunk a bit before he heard my comeback.
"Yes, let's talk warfare." I laughed, "Not only are the krogan better looking and better lovers, we are also better fighters than the turians."
"Completely laughable!" Garrus denied my assertion, "The krogan are prey animals, you can see it in those side set eyes. How can you hope to ever match the intensity of a focused turian gaze? The ladies love it!"
"It must hurt your little birdy heart that even the prey animals of Tuchanka are more metal than the apex predators of Palavin!"
"Boys!" Tali interrupted again, "Please, you are acting like children. And fools, the quarians are the most beautiful species."
"Bullshit." Jack called her out, "I don't buy the idea that under those envirosuits are beautiful people."
"No they really are." Zaeed backed Tali's claim, "I got curious and stripped a quarian I killed. Even shot dead, the mother fucker was gorgeous."
"I wish murder wasn't necessary to prove my point," Tali stated with an air of superiority, "but I will take it anyways."
"If you don't want murder to prove your points you are on the wrong team." I told her from across the table, "We're a pack of murderhobos."
"Oh my gods, you're right!" Garrus stated in shock having just realized that Beta Team wasn't just the heaviest hitters on the Normandy, they were all murderous psychopaths with not a single home address between them.
"And we are picking up an asari justicar on Illium for Beta Team, too." Garrus mused, "That's basically a wandering asari with a license to dispense murderous street justice in asari controlled space." he explained for those on the team ignorant to the strange asari custom.
"The quarians are a race of shiphobos, and Tali must have picked up a body count with you guys the first time." I said with a grin, "We are all murderhobos top to bottom."
"I vote to officially change the fire team designation to Team Murderhobos." Zaeed spoke up.
"Seconded." I nodded my huge lizard head in agreement.
"Plus 1." Jack voted with us.
"Denied." Garrus flat out refused.
"Don't be such a pussy." Jack barked at him.
"Come to the dark side, Garrus." I slowly leaned across the table to invade his personal space, "We have cookies."
"No we don't." Zaeed denied, "We only have steak, eggs, and melons. And you can't eat any of it cause being a dextro sucks ass."
I loved being on Beta Team.
Later Tali came by my workbench while I was working on boosting the kinetic coil generators on my guns. Like I had promised Shepard, I spent lots of time adding more gun to the team's guns, but I always kept the best for myself. The others had trouble if I packed too much weight into their weapon systems, so they never got to experience the joys of carrying around real firepower.
"The only krogan I ever met wouldn't be able to work a screwdriver like that." She commented and I looked at her in disbelief.
"Phrasing." I barked at her.
"Phrasing?" she froze for a moment then laughed, "Oh, a penis joke? I can see it now, but it should have been more obvious before I said it."
"You are never more than three feet from a penis joke." I told her then went back to reassembling my weapons.
"Garrus told me you built your gear with the help of a stranded quarian on Omega." Tali led me into a non penis related topic. Oh she of little faith.
"Got him laid too." I bragged, but really it was all Zaeed.
I needed to find a way to put that guy into mortal danger in a way that doesn't make it look like I set it up. The man knows how to repay a life debt. But he also knows I am hooked up to a scary psychopath girlfriend. Does this mean I should let him die as he can no longer pay his debts with asari quim? Life's great questions.
"No way." Tali denied.
"Yes way." EDI spoke to us as her rounded holographic display sparked up on a nearby terminal.
"How do you know about that?" I asked the AI.
"The strippers you fornicated with live streamed the orgy to their OnlyFans account. Less than twenty hours later the video leaked to the wider net. Your encounter virally trended for two weeks." EDI explained, "If your career as a murderhobo doesn't work out, you will find pornography an easy landing."
I froze as I absorbed this new knowledge.
"Are you okay, Grunt?" Tali asked in a sincerely concerned tone.
"I'm stunned." I told her and paused, "I didn't think my ego could get any bigger, but then I found out that millions of people liked watching me lay pipe."
"Billions." EDI corrected.
I shivered.
"This is the greatest day of my life." I said softly then yelled, "Hey honey! My cock is famous!"
"Is that so?" Jack shouted back from the creepy darkness she dwelt in, "I think I'll need to get a closer look to be sure!"
I put away my tools and guns in a display of hand speed that would leave a salarian cross eyed.
"Is this normal?" I heard Tali ask the AI as I walked away.
"For them, this was rather tame." The AI answered, "They are usually far more vulgar with their shouted come ons."
"I don't know what to think about that." Tali admitted and sighed, "I just wanted to get to know the new team better."
"I've sent you the link should you desire to know more about Grunt's sexual performance." EDI toggled off the display.
"I…" Tali murmured just barely audible to me, "The fuck is wrong with these people?"
PERTIMBANGAN PENCIPTA
JManM
JManM
This chaper ended up pretty short, but was a joy to write. Beta Team being full of murderhobos wasn't something I did contiously. I devided the teams based on Spec Ops history with Alpha Team being full of covert types and Beta Team being assult types. The fact that all the Assult companions are murderhobos made me laugh when I figured it out.
Please leave me some reviews so that people can know if the story is worth their time or not. I'd also appretiate it for myself. Like Grunt, I have a strokable ego.
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