Primordial Star Scripture

LV 4

Ret_Tri

Good Story in theory. Especially like his quick acceptance & embrace of the new world. None of this "How do i get back to earth" garbage. But holy hell... 1. Too much repetition of text -> Whole paragraphs either paraphrased or copy pasted. 2. Too many flowery exchanges. Like I get Respect etc. but that's just rather excessively applied in this story. 3. The MC... The Dungeon Guardian explains how it works. Then at every!!! Trial he asks himself if the voice is the Master of the Dungeon. Like that's not good storytelling, that's just stretching the word count to infinity. 4. The amount of "Could it be..." etc is baffeling as well 5. Sees the FL in person. Asks himself where he heard the name before.. Like Seriously ?? Btw Answer would be less then a month ago. Story has potential but the way of writing is just so bad.

LV 11

MephistoPheles7

your usual got bullied then became a genius and start slapping face novel

LV 5

CloudSmoke

This is dog shit don't waste your time.