26Critiques
4.31
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Improvable, acceptable but nothing out of the ordinary, good ideas but implemented ineffectively in my opinion, I hope there is a rewrite where the filler is less since I want to read about the MC and not about nobles and their family history/their life story, that has zero impact on the story but still the author took pains to include it in many chapters at the beginning of the story. I loved the idea of the club but it was implemented in the story when the author was about to stop writing so its development was null.
this story has some pros and cons. The pros are it has good writing quality, especially for a webnovel fic being written by a non-native. you wont lose brain cells reading. now onto the cons. the fanfic is highly unrealistic with a child doing and having influence they shouldn't and no one finds this strange. if you are like me, you would have been attracted to the mc being a chemist, but the MC barely uses his chemistry knowledge at all. with what little that is used is not hyped up enough. and finally, the last con is the god awful filler! the filler itself isnt the issue entirely, the author is unable to organically introduce the original worldbuilding into the story. instead it is more like a wiki of character and world descriptions. there is little character or realism injected into the story. so all in all, if you like a story with good worldbuilding that follows the timeline of asoiaf along with realism, then dont expect too much when reading. this story has a great concept with good grammar but subpar execution.
been putting off reading it as I was skeptical. it turned out to be a decent read though and encourage others to give it a chance. it has a lot of information being passed on through the chapters that gets annoying but it's not a bad thing at least. the character design could use some work too but it has a lot more potential than many of the stories out there. good luck author and thank you.
Wirklich eine meiner absoluten lieblings Fanfictions.... Ich glaube das ist der einzige Roman bei dem ich daraufhin fieber, dass ein neues Kapitel erscheint. SG aus Österreich und viel Glück fürs zukünftige Schrieben PS: Die ganze Kritik bezüglich Info-Dumbing ist veraltet, da der Autor dies bereits überarbeitet hat.
El mundo donde vive el protagonista es tecnológicamente igual a finales de la edad antigua y principios de la edad media. Sabiendo el nivel tecnológico del mundo, los únicos medios de trámite son caballos y barcos. Aquí tengo el mayor problema con la novela: el tiempo y el peligro de viajar por caballo o barcos en un mundo peligroso. Los barcos usados en el reinado de Robert en su mayoría fueron Galeras impulsadas por remos y algunos tenian una vela. Entonces, el viaje por mar siempre ha sido lento y peligroso incluso en nuestros tiempos. Pero el autor escribe los viajes por barco como si fueran tan rápidos y seguros como viajar en un avión jet privada. Un barco impulsado por remo tardaría 1 semama o más solo para ir desde Lanza del sol (Dorne) a Lys. Y en el viaje el barco tendría que enfrentar tormentas o ataques piratas. El heredero de una familia noble tendría que enfrentar eso y la pregunta es ¿vale la pena hacerlo por un extraño?
I dropped it, but it was my personal opinion, even though there was a lot of information dumping and so you ignore whether you read the book or saw the series, he separated the main plot well.
Spoiler de révélation
So a quick review here: 1. The story is so far decent but moves slowly and author is determined to make a wonderboy who makes miracles before he is even in his teens (as of ch. 78 mc is still 10 or 11 years old, cant remember which). Info dumps are a thing, author likes to give alot of background info about people or places that he mentioned just once in a certain chapter to never really appear again. There are certainly some interesting facts that he presents, but as it isn’t relevant to plot most of the time, it gets somewhat frustrating. 2. Writing quality is decent but author doesn’t have an editor or proofreader so spelling errors and grammatical errors are present in almost every chapter. 3. The charcaters retain their original personalities, but there is also a touch of authors own impression of them wether intentional or not. In conclusion a decent fanfic you should give a try. Also a bonus point that the MC isn’t a westerosi, I haven’t read many fanfics where MC is a native to Essos.
Quite creative in terms of story progression and the ideas the Author has with where things are going. I have been charmed by the fun that seems to be had in the writing process. Overall this is another welcomed addition to GoT fics. You won’t be harmed from checking out the first chapters and seeing if it tickles your fancy
The story is enjoyable and its worth giving it a read before judging..that said, the MC is kinda dull to me. his personality and identity shift so much any reaction by him is excused even if it makes no sense. character growth is nonexistent. he's a 5 year old adult and it's super creepy.
This is a typical story about a genius reborn who does great things from infancy. The best thing about this story is the dialogs between the characters and the place where all the events are happening at the moment, usually this place and city is almost unheard of in other stories, this is very good. But the story itself becomes boring as you read, there are no interesting events, no interesting plot twists, no intrigue and many other things we love Game of Thrones for. We read about a merchant/inventor who is described by the author as a genius of "intrigue" and "politics" and all that (from a child, currently 10 years old). The whole story is too characterless, childish, the main character has everything going for him, he gets no resistance in his "life". There is no feeling that the protagonist lives in the Middle Ages, there is no that feeling of dark fantasy that George R. R. Martin offered us. In general, to all those who just want to read about a genius reborn, who from diapers does great things and already from a small age creates a business, where the story is shown as a cartoon for teenagers. I recommend it to you without reservation. For those who want a serious read, look for something else, don't waste your time.
I enjoyed the story so far and I hope it gets better and better, keep up the good work[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=update]
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so I have read a little bit and it's pretty good but I think the one thing that really stands out is that the author is listening to reviews about problems for example the info dumps when most would just get mad
Its an alright story, and could probably rank in top 10 of all GoT fanfics. However there are several issues that make it hard to read. If you want a decent enough GoT Fanfic to kill time I would suggest it. Pros: Fast updates: 44 chapters in 8 days is pretty fast. Different story line: Its nice to see a different story line from someone related to targaryens, or starks. As well as fact it takes place in a city you barely see in shows/books. Cons: Info Dumps: Most obvious of them is the info dumps, as others have said you should add them as auxiliary chapters, they end up ruining any immersion and make you want to skip through. Reached chapter 15 and I think only 3 chapters so far have been not info dumps. Then you get into chapters that are not info dumps chapters, and you find more info dumps. Chapter 15 alone was like 6-7 paragraphs explaining what the dothraki were, which could easily be explained in 1-2 paragraphs. Grammar: The grammar is alright for most of it ,but there are quite a few mispellings, and other grammar issues in each chapters. While not a big deal, it still causes you to lose immersion when a name is spelled one way and then not spelled right the next.
[img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update]
one of the best game of thrones fanfics so far, and even though it's not finished yet, I would still recommend everyone to at least give it a good try before they make any opinions about it
I am loving the plot. Please continue the story and try to develop his infuence. I don’t want the MC to rule just Westros I want to see him grow financially and militarily so strong that people respectfully fear him
It's not a bad story, but the author dumps a lot of information that could simply be placed in auxiliary chapters.But I recommend reading in general, the author shows potential for growth.
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Love the story. It has potential. Although I would like the progress to pick up a moderate pace but anyways we can't always have what we can't, overall it's a good read. Hope author doesn't drop and continue updating it
This is a great story but the massive info dumps really distract from the story. I think a good 60% percent of the novel could be deleted with little effect. NOTE to Author - If you want to add all of the additional info maybe highlight the start and end of the section if it doesn't actually have any impact on the story so readers can decide if they want to skip or not. Personally, I almost gave up on the story when reading all the Roman Empire and army info dump// I'm glad I didn't though That said I thought The Gladiator bit was very interesting. So I would really recommend thinking of a way to let the readers decide if they want to read all the background information so as to not put the uninterested ones off what is looking to be a great story
Keep the good work going ❤️ I always like a situation whereby the author is carrying the readers along ❤️ what a great story 🤜🏽🤛🏽
Something that I have always wondered is if the Valyrians conquered the continent of Essos because all the noble families of Valyria died? It just doesn't make sense, who ruled the big cities in Essos? the slaves? Weren't there dragon lords ruling those cities? Didn't the families of Valyria have their own territories?
Improvable, acceptable but nothing out of the ordinary, good ideas but implemented ineffectively in my opinion, I hope there is a rewrite where the filler is less since I want to read about the MC and not about nobles and their family history/their life story, that has zero impact on the story but still the author took pains to include it in many chapters at the beginning of the story. I loved the idea of the club but it was implemented in the story when the author was about to stop writing so its development was null.
this story has some pros and cons. The pros are it has good writing quality, especially for a webnovel fic being written by a non-native. you wont lose brain cells reading. now onto the cons. the fanfic is highly unrealistic with a child doing and having influence they shouldn't and no one finds this strange. if you are like me, you would have been attracted to the mc being a chemist, but the MC barely uses his chemistry knowledge at all. with what little that is used is not hyped up enough. and finally, the last con is the god awful filler! the filler itself isnt the issue entirely, the author is unable to organically introduce the original worldbuilding into the story. instead it is more like a wiki of character and world descriptions. there is little character or realism injected into the story. so all in all, if you like a story with good worldbuilding that follows the timeline of asoiaf along with realism, then dont expect too much when reading. this story has a great concept with good grammar but subpar execution.
been putting off reading it as I was skeptical. it turned out to be a decent read though and encourage others to give it a chance. it has a lot of information being passed on through the chapters that gets annoying but it's not a bad thing at least. the character design could use some work too but it has a lot more potential than many of the stories out there. good luck author and thank you.
Wirklich eine meiner absoluten lieblings Fanfictions.... Ich glaube das ist der einzige Roman bei dem ich daraufhin fieber, dass ein neues Kapitel erscheint. SG aus Österreich und viel Glück fürs zukünftige Schrieben PS: Die ganze Kritik bezüglich Info-Dumbing ist veraltet, da der Autor dies bereits überarbeitet hat.
El mundo donde vive el protagonista es tecnológicamente igual a finales de la edad antigua y principios de la edad media. Sabiendo el nivel tecnológico del mundo, los únicos medios de trámite son caballos y barcos. Aquí tengo el mayor problema con la novela: el tiempo y el peligro de viajar por caballo o barcos en un mundo peligroso. Los barcos usados en el reinado de Robert en su mayoría fueron Galeras impulsadas por remos y algunos tenian una vela. Entonces, el viaje por mar siempre ha sido lento y peligroso incluso en nuestros tiempos. Pero el autor escribe los viajes por barco como si fueran tan rápidos y seguros como viajar en un avión jet privada. Un barco impulsado por remo tardaría 1 semama o más solo para ir desde Lanza del sol (Dorne) a Lys. Y en el viaje el barco tendría que enfrentar tormentas o ataques piratas. El heredero de una familia noble tendría que enfrentar eso y la pregunta es ¿vale la pena hacerlo por un extraño?
I dropped it, but it was my personal opinion, even though there was a lot of information dumping and so you ignore whether you read the book or saw the series, he separated the main plot well.
Spoiler de révélation So a quick review here: 1. The story is so far decent but moves slowly and author is determined to make a wonderboy who makes miracles before he is even in his teens (as of ch. 78 mc is still 10 or 11 years old, cant remember which). Info dumps are a thing, author likes to give alot of background info about people or places that he mentioned just once in a certain chapter to never really appear again. There are certainly some interesting facts that he presents, but as it isn’t relevant to plot most of the time, it gets somewhat frustrating. 2. Writing quality is decent but author doesn’t have an editor or proofreader so spelling errors and grammatical errors are present in almost every chapter. 3. The charcaters retain their original personalities, but there is also a touch of authors own impression of them wether intentional or not. In conclusion a decent fanfic you should give a try. Also a bonus point that the MC isn’t a westerosi, I haven’t read many fanfics where MC is a native to Essos.
Quite creative in terms of story progression and the ideas the Author has with where things are going. I have been charmed by the fun that seems to be had in the writing process. Overall this is another welcomed addition to GoT fics. You won’t be harmed from checking out the first chapters and seeing if it tickles your fancy
The story is enjoyable and its worth giving it a read before judging..that said, the MC is kinda dull to me. his personality and identity shift so much any reaction by him is excused even if it makes no sense. character growth is nonexistent. he's a 5 year old adult and it's super creepy.
This is a typical story about a genius reborn who does great things from infancy. The best thing about this story is the dialogs between the characters and the place where all the events are happening at the moment, usually this place and city is almost unheard of in other stories, this is very good. But the story itself becomes boring as you read, there are no interesting events, no interesting plot twists, no intrigue and many other things we love Game of Thrones for. We read about a merchant/inventor who is described by the author as a genius of "intrigue" and "politics" and all that (from a child, currently 10 years old). The whole story is too characterless, childish, the main character has everything going for him, he gets no resistance in his "life". There is no feeling that the protagonist lives in the Middle Ages, there is no that feeling of dark fantasy that George R. R. Martin offered us. In general, to all those who just want to read about a genius reborn, who from diapers does great things and already from a small age creates a business, where the story is shown as a cartoon for teenagers. I recommend it to you without reservation. For those who want a serious read, look for something else, don't waste your time.
I enjoyed the story so far and I hope it gets better and better, keep up the good work[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=update]
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so I have read a little bit and it's pretty good but I think the one thing that really stands out is that the author is listening to reviews about problems for example the info dumps when most would just get mad
Its an alright story, and could probably rank in top 10 of all GoT fanfics. However there are several issues that make it hard to read. If you want a decent enough GoT Fanfic to kill time I would suggest it. Pros: Fast updates: 44 chapters in 8 days is pretty fast. Different story line: Its nice to see a different story line from someone related to targaryens, or starks. As well as fact it takes place in a city you barely see in shows/books. Cons: Info Dumps: Most obvious of them is the info dumps, as others have said you should add them as auxiliary chapters, they end up ruining any immersion and make you want to skip through. Reached chapter 15 and I think only 3 chapters so far have been not info dumps. Then you get into chapters that are not info dumps chapters, and you find more info dumps. Chapter 15 alone was like 6-7 paragraphs explaining what the dothraki were, which could easily be explained in 1-2 paragraphs. Grammar: The grammar is alright for most of it ,but there are quite a few mispellings, and other grammar issues in each chapters. While not a big deal, it still causes you to lose immersion when a name is spelled one way and then not spelled right the next.
[img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update]
one of the best game of thrones fanfics so far, and even though it's not finished yet, I would still recommend everyone to at least give it a good try before they make any opinions about it
I am loving the plot. Please continue the story and try to develop his infuence. I don’t want the MC to rule just Westros I want to see him grow financially and militarily so strong that people respectfully fear him
It's not a bad story, but the author dumps a lot of information that could simply be placed in auxiliary chapters.But I recommend reading in general, the author shows potential for growth.
Perfect Perfect Perfect Perfect Perfect Perfect Perfect Perfect Perfect Perfect [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Love the story. It has potential. Although I would like the progress to pick up a moderate pace but anyways we can't always have what we can't, overall it's a good read. Hope author doesn't drop and continue updating it
This is a great story but the massive info dumps really distract from the story. I think a good 60% percent of the novel could be deleted with little effect. NOTE to Author - If you want to add all of the additional info maybe highlight the start and end of the section if it doesn't actually have any impact on the story so readers can decide if they want to skip or not. Personally, I almost gave up on the story when reading all the Roman Empire and army info dump// I'm glad I didn't though That said I thought The Gladiator bit was very interesting. So I would really recommend thinking of a way to let the readers decide if they want to read all the background information so as to not put the uninterested ones off what is looking to be a great story
Keep the good work going ❤️ I always like a situation whereby the author is carrying the readers along ❤️ what a great story 🤜🏽🤛🏽
Something that I have always wondered is if the Valyrians conquered the continent of Essos because all the noble families of Valyria died? It just doesn't make sense, who ruled the big cities in Essos? the slaves? Weren't there dragon lords ruling those cities? Didn't the families of Valyria have their own territories?